Harrison's Umbrella

History, but only the funny parts

[liberalsarecool]

The warning signs are all there. Capitalism is exacerbating white resentment, and crushing fragile white masculinity.

It’s our job to fight back, and stand up to these white nationalists.

[classical-music-ho]

I’m complete Hamiltrash. Get over it, sir.

[lovelovelovesun]

[yikyakapp-blog]

[brilliantlyhorrid]

[drawinginfinity15-deactivated20]

@allineedtohear

[learninglog]

When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?

Sandi Toksvig (via onefitmodel, learninglog)  (via jxcel) (via dilated) (via chloeniccole) (via arboreyes) (via newwavefeminism)

[sorrytodissapointyoubutimgone-d]

I believe in a very traditional view of marriage...

It’s just not worth it unless it’s for land, money, or political power.

[awookieinsheepsclothing-deactiv]

I’ve decided I won’t get married unless it’ll ensure an alliance with France.

[bellaxiao]

[explainguncontrolandsafespaces]

It’s like millennials do not understand that middle east has been at war for 1000′s of years. That we intervened on behalf of Kuwait. That without “bombing” people that want to kill and oppress others, millions will be murdered and tortured.

[mideast-nrthafrica-cntrlasia-de]

“at war for 1000′s of years”

you clearly know nothing about Afghanistan nor the middle east

here’s Afghanistan in the 1950′s, 60′s, & 70′s

if you really want to know what caused all the instability & growth of extremist groups I suggest you take a look at the US foreign policy towards Afghanistan during the 80′s

It’s interesting to note that when the communist government came to power in Afghanistan in the late 70′s, one of the first things they did was declare equality of the sexes, made education for girls mandatory, & banned child marriages. The conservative tribal leaders who the US armed & funded (& who later became the Taliban) declared this to be a “war on Islam” & fought against the central government.

The US had no problem back then with encouraging the growth of Islamic conservatism to counter socialism/communism. You created your biggest enemy & you have no one to blame but yourselves.

[sniffyjenkins]

BLESS THIS POST

[blackfemalescientist]

its crazy to me how the US talks about war in the middle east as if its this ancient problem inherent to the area instead of a recent problem created by western countries to further their own interests.

[unbfacts]

when the spanish landed on the Yucatan Peninsula, they asked “where are we?”, to which the indigenous population responded “Yucatan”, meaning “I don’t understand what he just said”

[aquajoggers]

a couple good distractions for people who need to separate themselves from the news for a while

netflix

-watch an entire season of bob ross

-the moving art series pairs beautiful natural scenery with calming music

-the wildest ___ series showcases different areas of the world with a focus on both animals and people who live there

-the great american baking show (also known as great british bake off) is a bunch of people making beautiful baked goods in a tent. how lovely

online 

-this is sand - create sand art on your screen

-go somewhere random on google street view and “walk” around

-rainymood is good for white noise if you are somewhere too quiet

-calm.com can walk you through a meditation session to help you relax

offline

-go for a walk, fresh air can help you feel settled and a change in your environment can help as well

-showering or taking a bath can help you feel more active even if you aren’t up to leaving your house

-reading a favorite book can be a good distraction, while a familiar story won’t require too much effort

make sure you’re drinking water and eating something too. take care of yourselves today everyone

[harrisonsumbrella]

someone: *says something wrong about history*

me: dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it

me: actually,

[kuttithevangu]

One of my favorite pieces of folklore is the one that says while babies are gestating an angel comes and teaches them the entire torah. And then at nine months or so the angel KARATE-CHOPS THEM IN THE FACE, thereby punting them out of the womb screaming, and they forget everything they learned

That’s why we have a dent underneath our noses

Why go to all the trouble of teaching babies things and then karate-chopping their memory into oblivion?

So they have to spend their whole life looking around at the world EXTRA HARD in order to get rid of the feeling that they’ve forgotten something important

Jewish folktales… Am I right

[kuttithevangu]

[sovereign of the universe voice] yes, and you, that angel there, your task is to prenatally punch my people in the face, so that they may know hypervigilance

[kyraneko]

is it bad that I’m picturing this angel as looking a lot like Mad-Eye Moody?

[rauwyn]

@slatestarscratchpad

[michaelblume]

Shouldn’t premature babies/babies born by C-section not have dents under their noses and know the entire Torah?

@althor42 @hpwot is there something you’re not telling me?

[he-harim]

presumably the omniscient Being, by whom the angels are controlled by/an extension of, knows when premature babies and those born by C-section will be delivered?

also, when i heard this story, it was a gentle tap on the lip, and the point was so that any Torah you learnt over your life would never be new to you, you’d merely be remembering something you learnt way back when your body was still being knit together, and i found it sweet and romantic

[kuttithevangu]

i mean, what isn’t sweet and romantic about giving you an excuse for screaming, plus a reason to look extra hard at everything in the world? 

[he-harim]

…okay, yeah, you raise a really good point

[darkhei-noam]

This is great, but I’m actually more fascinated by the fact that while many people have heard of this story, no-one actually knows where the “and that’s why” part comes from… Not the “learning Torah in the womb and forgetting it by angelic karate chop” part — that’s straight from the Talmud. But when did people first use that midrash to explain the philtrum (groove under the nose)? Nobody knows. The first recorded reference that anyone has been able to find is… believe it or not… Humphrey Bogart in the 1948 movie Key Largo (or, more accurately, its Russian-Jewish playwright, Richard Brooks). Totally serious — see Abraham Socher’s article and this blogpost for attempts to trace it. A mystery! If anybody has more leads, let me know! :D

[kuttithevangu]

whoa…. that’s so cool! 

[westsemiteblues]

I know that if a boy is born by C-section, his bris is not performed on Shabbos, and is delayed to Sunday (if it would have been Shabbos). And a child delivered by c-section is not considered firstborn for the purposes of the pidyon haben. So it does seem that there’s a sense in which surgical delivery preempts the heavenly schedule.

Maybe while the surgical team is washing up, the angel makes an emergency visit of their own?

[jibril-deactivated20190420]

[knowledgeequalsblackpower]

i scrolled passed this several times before actually reading it. i’m not used to two white men talking sense…

[scorpioberry]

This is probably my favorite paragraph I’ve ever read.

[eldritchdoorman]

[stay-classy-friends]

Ahahahahah

[angrygamergirl]

BURN! 

[harrisonsumbrella]

during finals week

friend: hey

me: the most important united states supreme court case was marbury v. madison because it established judicial review