tell it to my lawyer

Your one-stop shop for all things Harris. Journalistic icon. Minivan enthusiast. Rp blog not affiliated with A. Cummiing.

[harrisreport]

Well, someone didn’t like the guy much.

[harrisreport]

Did you miss me, darlings?

Harris has been eerily quiet, don't you think?

Your friendly neighbourhood journalist extraordinaire here to shake you out of your stupor with the news you've all been waiting for. Keep an eye out for my upcoming headline.

[harrisreport]

testing

[harrisreport]

plot drop

@mayhemwithmegan​

This was found under the door of the pharmacy.

[harrisreport]

plot drop

This letter was crammed under Mykie’s windshield wiper.

@tellittomykie​

[harrisreport]

plot drop

This was found shoved under Ronnie’s front door

@ronald-stone​

[harrisreport]

plot drop

@rcxxy​

This note was found in the podcast’s PO box. 

[harrisreport]

plot drop

This note was found nailed to Atlas Chen’s front door. 

@atlasx-chen​

[harrisreport]

Privacy? Don’t know her

So we all know that the whole respecting boundaries claptrap is not my thang. Dear readers, who do think offed Tumblety? The police are still being tight lipped but we promise live updates as the details hit the fan. What we know so far is that not all of the body has been located.

[harrisreport]

the ✧*official *✧ story

[sunny-choi]

harrisreport​:

“He’s running on a tight ACHF (“all cops hate flamingos”) platform, I’d say that the fact that his prospects are good in this town are what’s disappointing.“

“You really do know how to suck the fun out of everything. My condolences for your dead sense of whimsy. What did cryptids ever do to you?” 

[harrisreport]

"My whimsy is more alive than that cryptid's career (or yours - how is THAT mess going?). Or Tumblety III."

[tellittomykie]

“A+ plan. Avoid the drama by thirsting after the victim’s burnout child. Can’t see how that would backfire.”

Somebody has to make your headlines more fun. ;D

[harrisreport]

"Ehh. Bold assumption. Inaccurate though. I have Flamingo Man and the useless cops for that."

[sunny-choi]

“All of these potential murder rumours are definitely going to overshadow the flamingo man mayoral campaign. That’s disappointing to say the least.” 

[harrisreport]

"He's running on a tight ACHF ("all cops hate flamingos") platform, I'd say that the fact that his prospects are good in this town are what's disappointing."

[secjins]

“I show this whole mess to my lawyer friend. I am pretty sure that a bunch of laws have been broken by the Harris Report and I am also pretty sure that they don’t care. That man is scary.”

[harrisreport]

"He can call my lawyers, you whiny snitch. How's the whole business situation, buddy boy?"

[ramiq]

“And here comes the media circus. Great. Clearly it didn’t occur to the Harris Report that the police said what they did to give the family a little bit of privacy and time to deal with everything? That we wanted to announce what is going on (which I am neither confirming nor denying, that isn’t anyone’s business yet) on our own terms?”

[harrisreport]

"Yeah no, I don't listen to the bacon. Anyway, how are we feeling? Hoping daddy dearest comes home? Or are you already writing cheques?"

[ephennere]

“I know I run a true crime podcast, but this is insane. Even if I have my doubts, I seriously hope that the Harris Report is wrong about this one and that Tumblety is just missing.”

[harrisreport]

"I'm rarely wrong, darling. But they're not telling me where the body is yet. So whether they find one or not, I'm still bang on the money."

[kenta-hirano]

“Despite not trusting a single thing the Harris Report has to say ever, it’s still unsettling to read. Maybe we all got too complacent assuming the threats were a hoax.” 

[harrisreport]

"You have deep seated trust issues, Kenta. I smell a story. ASSISTANT. MAKE A NOTE!"