Hatbl0g

(she/her)

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

[assaultmystic-archive]

reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties

[a-wild-torterra]

I thought it meant men who like men

[hatb0x]

No you're thinking of the male gays, this is when you stare longingly at the local post office.

[chustlingbungus]

Its just like marx said, they want to extract our amazing digital surplus.

[braxiations]

is that a nothing in your pants or are you just ambivalent to see me

[epilepticsaints]

[chloebangbang]

I don't know how I'm ever expected to be normal again after watching this. this video is already lodging itself deep within my vocabulary as I type

[dragongirlsnout]

dude you can't hate me just because my pussy secretes a rich and viscous royal jelly that enthralled your girlfriend. get over it already

[dragongirlsnout]

ok. director's cut: i always pictured this exchange taking place in a nice café. like a "latte is 8.65 but it's a good latte" kind of café. and you get little brass numbers for your order to put on the table. but anyways; i'm getting coffee with this cishet couple. like hetero jessica and jakey. and he's already a little unhappy; maybe he didn't get the big contract at work, maybe he thinks this place is too fancy, maybe he doesn't like that his fiancé dragged him out for coffee with "one of those people". the specifics aren't important. at some point he goes to the bathroom, curses at the open-neck dual-cartridge burnished nickel faucet those fancy cafés love to have that always splash you, so on & so forth. but when he gets back, his beautiful college sweetheart is sitting on the floor between my legs with a dopey smile on her face and just absolutely SMEARED in orange goop. my legs and thighs too. very short dress. nothing left to the imagination. and of course jakey is not having any of it; he's spitting and screaming and whining and bargaining and what have you, but the other café patrons just start getting annoyed at him. someone`s grandmother tells him to stop making such a ruckus.

and there you have it!

[azulcrescent]

[Slay the Spire 2 fancomic] Dang Defect, you look hella different.

probably one of the dumbest comic ideas ive had so i had to draw it lmao. I think ironclad would be an oblivious himbo if he were more sane lol

(also i love my son beef-fect but i also miss the twink-fect look from StS 1 lol)

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[mizuthe-cat]

you know it’s bad when people tag your personal posts as siffrin isat

[hatb0x]

They should make an evil version of a tripod that only has one leg and it falls over.

[hungwy]

uhhh yeah can i start with the house salad?

[45percenterthen]

there are too many acronyms now everyone needs to shut up. mcyt. my chemical youtube romance. what are you saying

[latin-student-problems]

me on a date: so what do you think of the ablative case?

date: I mean, it's alright, but I reckon it should be divided into different categories. Why does it have to have so many meanings?

me, shoving forms of the ablative into my purse: I'm sorry, I have to go (away) from, where, with, within, in, by, on, at, in respect to -

[chronicallyblonde]

my favorite thing about latin? finding out that hendecasyllabic meter, which catullus used, is also used in the first line of the chorus of weezer’s hit song buddy holly. thus, you can sing catullus 16 to weezer, and boy oh boy if i didn’t have fun with that one

[vexwerewolf]

One extremely interesting part of Lancer deep lore is that the Catholic Church still exists, and the implications of this are fascinating.

The existence of the Catholic Church in Lancer is evidenced by this passage from page 121 of No Room For A Wallflower Act 1:

Catholicism is such a prevalent world religion that it would almost certainly have had many adherents on all of the Ten, which meant that everywhere the Ten went, so too did Catholicism. The Ten left starting around 6000bu, and instantaneous FTL communication didn't appear until around 3200u, which means that for over 9000 years - longer than the current human historical record! - Catholic dioceses on old Earth colonies could not have maintained full communion.

There was also no contact between Earth and any of its colonies by any means (FTL or not) from 6000bu to at least 1400u, and realistically several centuries after that. 1400u is when Union on Cradle first turned its long-range communication systems back on and experienced the Third Trauma; they didn't start to send regular messages to surviving colonies until significantly after that - first contact with the Karrakin Trade Baronies didn't happen until 2800u, more than 800 years into the First Expansion Period.

This puts the earliest that the Catholic church on Cradle could possibly have had any contact with orphaned dioceses at around 8000 years. This exceeds the current lifespan of the Catholic church by more than four times.

It is reasonable to assume that in the absence of any possible contact with the Holy See on Earth, Catholic dioceses on the colony worlds would have to establish their own central authority - essentially, a series of definitionally non-competing antipopes. The realities of time, distance and differing environments would cause dogma in each separate diocese to drift.

We've already seen this happen on Earth: Irish Catholicism is notably different in character to American Catholicism, and both of those groups can pick up a phone and talk to the Pope! Meanwhile, some of the Ten went to planets hundreds of light-years away - even if you could send a question to the Holy See, by the time you got a response back, assuming your civilization endured, the cultural conditions that provoked your question would most likely be historical curiosities discussed by your distant descendants.

So imagine the nightmarish complications around 3200u onwards, during the Second Expansion Period, which is when FTL communication and travel became commonplace in the Lancer universe. This is a reasonable point to posit that the "Catholic Union" mentioned in Wallflower came into being.

Let me set the scene: the Cradle Papacy proposes, now that FTL communication is possible, to reunify the Catholic Church and return the faithful across every human world to full communion with the Holy See (SecComm was ascendant back then; this feels like the sort of One Humanity shit they'd pull). With Union's newly-built OmniNet, the Cradle Pope reaches out to the archdioceses of Karrakis, Carina, Tau Ceti, Rigel Kentaurus, Spinward Ultima…

Cradle Pope: "Blessings upon you all, from the Church of Peter the Apostle, First Bishop of Rome, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."

Karrakis Pope: "Oh, hey! Which one of the Passions are you Bonded to?"

Sparri Pope: "Blessings upon you in the name of Saint Anaru, who vanquished the Beasts of God and ate their eggs."

Constellar Pope: "I have a brain implant that constantly updates the Liturgy for me!"

Bishop-Regent of Ras Shamra: "Blessings upon you in the name of Malcolm XVII, Prophet and Final Pope, who harrowed the Nightlands."

Cradle Pope: "…"

Cradle Pope: "Guys what the fuck"

The Catholic Union in 5016u must be an absolutely batshit compromise between a multitude of utterly incompatible regional dogmas that exists broadly so that these separate churches can exercise collective political authority.

… so actually, kinda like the Catholic Church has always been.

[vexwerewolf]

Something some of my ex-Catholic friends pointed out is that one of the deviations from current dogma that a lot of colonial Catholic churches might undergo is… well, sit down for this one, because it's a doozy:

The de-emphasis of Jesus Christ.

As humanity becomes a galactic society and the Crucifixion gets further and further away from us in both time and space, the idea that One Time, One Dude on One Planet died for our eternal salvation becomes increasingly unsustainable as a belief system. What would the Virgin Birth mean to someone 500 light years from Bethlehem? What would the Betrayal in Gethsemane or the Passion at Golgotha mean to a person who could never see Jerusalem? Why did the Saviour manifest only once, on one planet, millennia before we mastered space travel?

Some dioceses might consider the words of Matthew 25 - "for I was a hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me," - and posit a Son of Man who might be among us at any moment, testing humanity's kindness to one another.

Every world on which Catholics worship would have its own folk saints. Cathedrals would first follow the architectural realities of virgin worlds, and then the cultural mores of the civilization that grew from those humble beginnings.

Will the Liturgy still be chanted in Latin, eleven thousand years hence? Will it still have the same words? Will it even still recognisably venerate the same Trinity? What new heresies and schisms will shake the Church of Peter - and will it even remember him as its ancient founder?

Old Earth as the Garden of Eden from which we departed, and that Flaming Sword which turned every way was the exhaust plume of our stardrives, for it was unto us, not those Cherubim, that God appointed the duty to keep the way of the Tree of Life.

What new Michelangelo will decorate the vaulted ceiling of a distant world's chapel, and what alien sky will his brushstrokes depict?

What new horrors will be unleashed in the name of God by a power-hungry colonial Papacy, echoing their ancestors' ancient sins?

This isn't even to mention the entirely separate syncretic religion, the Church of Christ the Buddha, that sprung up at some point in Lancer's eleven-thousand-year future history. How does the Catholic Union perceive them? As a heresy, or as misguided but righteous brothers of the book?

And how the fuck do you calculate Easter when your planet doesn't have a moon?

[kremlin]

while jamming my entire body between two closing elevator doors today, i was met with wide eyes, and i thought to myself "this probably looks frightening to people that don't have a thorough technical understanding of how elevators work and the history behind why they are so insanely safe"

and then i remembered the story of the tenured civil engineering professor who, with a running start, would leap and throw himself full-force at skyscraper windows in order to demonstrate their structural properties, until one day the window popped out of the frame, unbroken of course, and he fell to his death

[tgirlmaomao]

why are you all worried that the fourth madoka film is gonna be mid? you mean like the other three?

[anphivenas]

(wrinkled and dying from laying eggs) tbhhhh dubstep was better in 2009 (lays another egg) there has honestoy not been another producer like Benga (stress from that last egg makes me go blind) my eggs , where are my eggs