Negative Optimist

23. Colombian. Taurus. Miami,Florida . Thank god for puberty! Music, adventures, colorguard, gymnastics, and traveling INFJ

[grumsal]

shout out to water for keeping my throat sufficiently lubricated for optimal yodeling techniques

[classycarolinagirl]

That literally got weirder and weirder with every word

[possumistic]

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

[blackpowwer-blog]

REBLOG: go to your blog and click the egg to see what hatches

[jinglepancakebells]

I got Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic the freaking Hedgehog.

Maybe I cracked the egg too fast.

[pikachucastiel-deactivated20220]

I GOT A SPARKLY NICHOLAS CAGE

[prinxieties]

I got Donald Duck wtf

[thekatqueen23]

Boop

[ghostswithoutjournals]

whoah???

[cnxbdjshehdhdhdh-deactivated201]

daddy: *cums on the floor* me and the roaches: *fights over who gets to lick it first*

[h0odrich]

what in gods name

[badamazonfinds]

[harpie-lady]

[teddy-beard]

[catlips001]

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and

[catlips001]

Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said

[ask-cloud-skipper]

you might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies

[meanplastic]

I’m in tears but also bopping

[surprisebitch]

have you ever listened to something so horrible that you just had to continue listening even though it’s much healthier to just stop it cause that’s this

[thats-sowild-blog]

This is what they were training us for…

[lilboreddev-blog]

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE DOGS

[poeticfog]

9 million people fucking love dogs

[tracknumber06]

Here we come 10.

[dark-eyed-harmothoe]

BREAK THE POST

BREAK THE POST

BREAK THE POST

[bifrostiron]

I’ve finally found it again

the elusive 10 million note post

they say no two people reblog it with the same original text

[tkkatherineblog]

[kaleighbytheway]

The very excited blonde lady owns the resort where this is taken. She’s super excited because this is the closest they’ve ever come in before. Everyone else is less excited because this was taken crack of dawn; when blonde lady realized how close the whales were coming, she ran around waking everybody up to see it.

[trans-am-catie]

if I was at your resort and you didn’t wake me up to see this I’d never come back… this is amazing

[arandomthot]

Making conversation can be tougher than it seems

[nessaaageee]

This one time at work, I was training someone and the system froze so I decided to have some small talk and I asked her if she had any kids or anything (she was older) and she started crying. She asked me if it was cool if she went to take a walk to get some air and I told her okay because I mean what was I supposed to say? Anyways, she came back clearly still upset and told me that her husband left her for one of her daughters.

After that, I kept all my conversations strictly work related.

[hameenahatesyou-deactivated2023]

👀

[skinoutqueen]

Bitch whet

[the-howling-storm]

[clockworkmachineking]

[theawkwardgayfanboy]

[aidashakur]

“6 months from now I will be in a different situation.”

Speak it into existence.

[foxyj26]

A better situation

[yllwlotus]

A healthier, more peaceful, positive situation.

[softestbuckley]

[kuntsuragi]

anyone else fucking LOVE BEING IN BED???

[juniorjewel]

bitch im in bed right now!! how did you know!!

[heejinpilled]

reblog if ur in bed

[yeezus-fish]

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool

[shromo-deactivated20181202]

When you haven’t saved your file in awhile and suddenly the cursor freezes 

[pokekmon-deactivated20170218]

which spongebob character is the white gay friend

[beeorchids-moved-deactivated201]

larry the lobster next question

[moomwdwmfqn-deactivated20171118]

larry is that type of gay w/ masc4masc and “no fats no fems” on his Floundr bio

[yourbrothershotfriend]

Floundr bio I’m out

[radiumdesu]

i had to read this on my dash and now you have to too

[fluffyrabidkitten]

How dare you do that to Larry. He is pure and precious and he would not discriminate against fat people in his bio. You ever watch the episodes with him in it? He’s always super nice when it comes to Spongebob’s lack of muscle and always tried to encourage him. Shame on you.

[surprisebitch]

drag them!

[3000gayteen]

He’s nice to Spongebob because Spongebob is a twink.

[surprisebitch]

true. but Spongebob is also fem so

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

So that would mean Patrick is a bear?

[hamhamclubhouse]

I wanna fuck sandy squirrels

[surprisebitch]

… anyway.. point is Larry the Lobster is a fem ally, accepts every gay, and he encourages everyone to be the best they can be

And from what i heard recently, Larry deleted his Floundr since he started dating Don the Whale who’s an MoC (mammal of colour) and is bestfriends with intersectional feminist woke icon Sandy Cheeks

If anyone’s problematic, it’s squidward’s lazy ass who probably has “discreet” on his profile, only sends torso pics, and would block you when you ask for a face pic

and yes Patrick is a bear who’s a twink chaser hence, his need to accompany spongebob in almost every episode. he want that spussy

[allthesebees-deactivated2019070]

[khangoftheworld]

I choked because of this

[pymdn-deactivated20221205]

I died at spussy and twinkbob

[californiadreamboy]

Stop putting this on my dash

[heythereghouls]

[knightofzer0]

Same

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

oh my god i'm cleaning out my desk and i found my first phone

it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones

[princess-peridot]

How did you know if you dialed the right number

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

[teaboot]

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

[notevensneaky]

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

[propitlikeithot]

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.