🌤

I’m Jen! I’m 20, and gay. That’s it lmao

[catasters]

[anxietyproblem]

[sneakyfeets]

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sneakyfeets]

In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims: 

[beatlesweatles]

The wife:

The mom:

[cryptspren-moved]

I t s b a c k

[sophia-draws]

some political opinions.

[theocseason4]

genie: you have 3 wishes what’s will be the first

me: i wish for jenna marbles’ dogs to be immortal

genie: that’s a pretty cool wish  you still have 3 that one was on me

[cremsie]

I’m very tired ™

[meanplastic]

[hourlymemes]

[bri-ecrit]

Students, you have NO IDEA how high that bar is. 

[stationelven]

fuck dude, there’s sure not

[square]

[fairydusts]

girl culture is turning around every few feet when you’re walking alone to see if someone’s following u

[your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord]

Learn to peep through the corner of your eye so you’re not quite so obvious when you turn.

[feministfront]

Putting in your earphones so hopefully no random men try to talk to/harass you but not actually playing music so you can listen for footsteps/other suspicious noises behind you.

[gibbearish]

feeling like someone is following you and subtly shifting whatever object you’re holding into a better grip so you can use it as a bludgeon if the person behind you tries anything

[its-probably-all-elves]

Being fucking terrified when street lamps give you more than one shadow

[persistant-resistant-and-nasty]

Learning how to inconspicuously stop and “look” in a store window so you can check to see if the guy stops too because just existing as a women requires mastery of special ops countersurveillance techniques

[b00bologist-deactivated20260104]

You’ve yeed your last haw

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

[abandonedandurbex]

Exploring abandoned church found cages in attic. Me & some friends went exploring this abandoned church & while we were in the attic my bf found a secret door that blended in with the wall, it had a broken lock on it & opened up to a narrow hallways that lead into a huge empty room with these cages

[cruelladatrille]

Boy white ppl are wild you know they dead

[cruelladatrille]

[thecarltonbanksexperience]

the outburst i had at joann fabrics IS reflective of who i am

[skinmousedarchive]

this is a strong contender for the funniest post i have ever seen in my life

[marcsalmonds]

Bottom surgery was a success afafsgsgsgagagagshs

[kibumkim]

my mom while she was potty training me probably

[byjove]

This house was built in 1774 and has a ballroom. The asking price is three million.

[filthybonnet]

Has there been any updates or additions at any point? Because that’s looking like Tiffany glass which is why it might be 3 million.

[byjove]

ok here’s the funniest part: it’s in a place where the houses are like twelve to fifteen million so the fact that it’s 1/5 of the price it should be and has Tiffany windows is a warning sign that leads me to believe the ghost of Jay Gatsby himself lives in that ballroom

[byjove]

if you move into this mansion your dance card will always be full old sport!