d♡

if it's gay I probably ship it. Ig: ihateveryfuckingone

[hateveryfuckingone]

Sirius: if there are infinite parallel universes, is there one where I'm smarter than you?

Remus: yes. And there's also one where you are bald.

a few minutes later

James: WHAT DID YOU DO TO SIRIUS, HE WON'T STOP CRYING

[hateveryfuckingone]

Shikamaru: I don't like women.

Temari: who tf asked.

Shikamaru:

Shikamaru: apparently I do like women

[hateveryfuckingone]

marauders as vines pt.1

sirius: I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF Y'ALL

sirius: Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME

remus: sirius I barked ONCE. Please shut the fuck up or I'll have to slit your throat.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Steph: can you give me the list of the songs you're playing?

DJ: what? why do I have to put on the music?

Steph: huh? Are you being serious rn. Your name is DJ. I'm the clown, you're supposed to be the smart one.

[hateveryfuckingone]

some shameless characters dealing with their problems:

fiona: *ignores them*

ian: *disappears*

frank: *solves them illegally*

debbie: *fucks someone rich*

mickey: *murders*

kev: *calls V*

veronica: *is too busy dealing with her bf's bullshit*

carl: *is oblivious to the problem*

[hateveryfuckingone]

random girl: *tries and fails to flirt with carl oblivious gallagher*

debbie: you know, I think she was trying to buy you a drink.

carl: why? I already have a drink.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Chandler: Why was the broom late for the meeting? It overswept. Thank you.

Everyone: 👁👄👁

Priest: is that it? Well, certainly the weirdest wedding vows I've ever heard. Moving on-

[hateveryfuckingone]

Lee: Gai Sensei I just finished doing two thousand push-ups.

Gai: so did I. Let's do another thousand.

Lee, who never actually stopped: already on it!

Sakura:

Sakura: how. Seriously, what the fuck do these guys eat. I could never.

[hateveryfuckingone]

after Draco had an argument with Harry:

Pansy: talk to him, that's what couples do.

Draco: nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

Pansy: ... That's your plan for dealing with this?

Draco: that's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments I'm going to win that way.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Naruto: *comes back after 2 years gone* I'm all grown. I'm a different person now.

Sakura: oh god he seems way more mature than when he left.

*two seconds later*

Naruto: KONOHAMARU THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE, I- look let me show you *does the sexy jutsu*

Sakura: aaand he's back.

[hateveryfuckingone]

remus: oh, so I see you finally decided to come out of the bathroom! Can you please explain to me what the fuck took you so long?

sirius: honey don't be dramatic, being this beautiful takes time.

remus: ... You were watching tik tok weren't you

sirius: for two hours, it's addicting. My but hurts from sitting in the toilet for too long.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Hermione: so... I don't have a partner for the ball. *makes direct eye contact with ron*

Ron: oh, neither do I! Guess we'll just have to go by ourselves. What a bummer, huh?

Hermione: ...

Hermione: why do I have to like this one, he's bloody brainless.

[hateveryfuckingone]

harry: hey luna, have you seen draco? I can't find him.

luna: *ignores him*

harry: luna? I'm talking to you.

luna: *looks up from her book and looks him dead in the eye*

luna: if you ever try to interrupt my reading again, I will unfortunately have to stab you.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Draco: how do I get potter to notice me.

Pansy: you can ask him out, you know, like a normal person

Draco: *proceeds to ignore her* I KNOW! I'll climb up the top of that big tree.

Pansy:

Pansy: I need new friends.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Sirius: *high* giraffes don't make any fucking sense. They're just horses with camel faces and really large necks. I don't buy it, they're not real.

Remus: so, let me get this straight... You don't believe in giraffes?

Sirius: *still high* no, I don't.

Remus: I- how do you not- why is the police outside.

[hateveryfuckingone]

James: *suggests an extremely dangerous and stupid activity that will 100% get them in trouble/ get them killed*

Sirius: Y E S.

[hateveryfuckingone]

Sirius: *steals remus' hoodie even though he's much smaller than re*

Remus: aw that looks so big and cute on you :)

Sirius:

Sirius: did you just call me fat?