To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all
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@haventmisseduyet
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all
@/Rottedcreatures callout
Hey so I’m sure you guys have seen this person before (they’ve gone by Trojan, Thorn, Rotted and Blade) a helluva lotta times already but the DID/OSDD discourse has resurfaced once again, as it tends to do every couple of months.
I recently joined (and was kicked) from a server that had this user in it and here’s what I managed to get from it.
Blade has publicly identified as a diagnosed system for multiple years now. They’ve consistently spoken over actual systems, used systemhood to justify erratic + abusive behavior, and deflected criticism with “I’m a system so it’s not my fault” rhetoric.
Last week, they admitted they’ve never even been assessed. No testing. No formal process. No diagnosis. Just vibes. Just “I feel like I identify as a fictional character so that’s DID”
Now this would be one thing if they were honest about that from the start. But they weren’t. If for the past 3 years they had been honest about not being diagnosed and exploring the possibility of being plural, that would have been fine. They didn’t do that though.
❗ Why This Matters:
Lying about having DID/OSDD when you’ve never even been evaluated is beyond just “personal identity.” It’s manipulative, it’s misleading, and it delegitimizes people who actually live with these conditions.
This isn’t about “gatekeeping,” it’s about accountability. DID/OSDD is not a disorder you can self diagnose, let me be clear about that. Suspected Plurality has never been people’s issue with Blade, it has been them outright claiming they are a system with no diagnosis and admittedly, not even an assessment.
You don’t get to use a disorder label like armor for YEARS and then go, “Haha oops I never actually got checked lol” and expect people to be okay with it.
If you’re going to claim a mental illness, especially one as complex and stigmatized as DID or OSDD, you need to be honest. Full stop.
This is not “calling someone out for being mentally ill.” This is calling someone out for lying about being mentally ill. And that distinction matters.
Hey— While I completely understand your points being made in this post, I also don’t think you should say Thorn doesn’t have DID or OSDD, because they could potentially. They could also potentially have another dissociative disorder, as there are many others aside from DID or OSDD.
Although I understand your points, I don’t think we should outright claim what this person does and doesn’t have, because we’re not professionals and not equipped to do that.
Some people might be in positions where they can’t be clinically diagnosed— And I think that’s important to remember. While I’m not saying you should self diagnose that kind of thing, It’s not so black and white. There are layers to these things, and multiple things to take into consideration.
I understand why you’re pointing this out, and I would agree with you IF it weren’t for the fact that Thorns inconsistencies are that of someone who is just blatantly lying and not an innocent mistake. For YEARS, Thorn has claimed to be a system, starting out as claiming to be diagnosed in 2020 with DID, when they were still going by Trojan. Then, their story changed to them having OSDD, then it changed to my therapist thinks I have DID, back to OSDD, until eventually they admitted they don’t have a diagnosis for EITHER and haven’t even been assessed for it.
This would be a different story altogether if we weren’t talking about someone who has been caught lying and also blatantly weaponising their alleged disorder. Thorn is blatantly full of it, what they’re doing is ROLEPLAY at best. Their theatrical ass display of “DID” is very questionable, extremely histrionic and blatantly offensive.
At a certain point, that’s not confusion. That’s not exploring identity.
That’s lying.
And more than that; what’s been especially frustrating to witness is how Thorn has weaponized the label of “system” whenever they’re questioned or held accountable. That’s not a symptom of any dissociative disorder—that’s manipulative behavior. Theatrics and deflection don’t equal legitimacy. Having alternate personality states doesn’t make you immune to criticism and claiming a diagnosis you don’t have is harmful, period.
Also, just to build on your point:
DID and OSDD aren’t the only diagnoses that can involve alternate states or dissociation. C-PTSD, BPD, certain trauma responses, even dissociative identity-like experiences that don’t meet full diagnostic criteria—those are all real things. But Thorn didn’t claim any of those. They claimed full diagnosis of DID and then OSDD, both of which require structured clinical assessment. And they let people believe that for years.
So yes, this isn’t someone just navigating something messy and complex.
This is someone roleplaying a disorder, lying about being diagnosed, and doing real damage to the communities they claim to be part of.
Not to mention, they went around claiming DID/OSSD for YEARS while having the audacity to call out other systems too which is wild considering 💀 They sit behind a screen playing God about what is and isn’t valid in DID and OSDD themselves, this person is being called out with more than reasonable proof, I am not a professional and cannot say indefinitely, but I’m not dumb and can see when someone is lying. That doesn’t take a professional.
That’s not us invalidating them. That’s not me saying there is no disorder here. But they’ve been deceptive about this for YEARS, and used it as a shield to avoid accountability multiple times just to find out that they haven’t even been ASSESSED yet confidently used their DID as an excuse in the past. Even using it as a shield when being called out on SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
It doesn’t take a professional to see they’ve obviously mislead people on purpose. But at the end of the day, I think they just wanted to claim being a system anyway and use all that language because it’s easier for them, which is obviously incredibly insensitive.
I experience also literally everything they described, but I’m not putting a label on it nor saying anything for certain because *I don’t know*, literally nobody has an issue with them ‘questioning plurality’ because like. Welcome to the club? but there is an obvious bigger picture here about them being blatantly dishonest.
🌛💙Moon Night 💙🌜
“I could kiss you senseless,” Luis says, idly flickering the rusty lighter on and off, the orange flame illuminating his features in the darkness— Luis glows, Leon thinks, he glows.
Leon rolls his eyes and grumbles something, a murmured “Don’t be ridiculous,” before his eyes glue themselves back to the contraption in his hands.
“You’re doing it all wrong, Sancho.” Luis speaks again, voice smooth and confident as he steps towards the worn down table, gently plucking the contraption from Leon’s fingers.
The mechanism effortlessly clicks into place, and Leon almost wants to roll his eyes again, but he doesn’t— Too transfixed on how beautiful Luis looks with his brows pinched together in concentration, chewing his bottom lip.
God, Leon craves. He craves so much that he aches with it.
“Voila! All done.” Luis announces proudly, and Leon smiles. Leon actually smiles.
-
Luis catches all the things Leon hides. The coldness in his stare, the vacancy in those icy eyes that really means he’s thinking about something, really thinking about it.
“You keep thinking those thoughts so deeply, Mi Amor, and you’ll drown in them.” Luis says, voice adorned with its typical playful edge, but he cares. His eyes show that he cares.
Leon snorts, “I can swim, y’know.”
Luis just smiles and shakes his head, then, a playful tut, “Even the best swimmers drown, Sancho.”
“Tell me, Leon, what is it you want?”
Leon opens his mouth; “I just want…”
You.
You.
I just want you.
But the words don’t come out.
-
“I could kiss you senseless,” Luis says again, but this time—
This time blood spills with every word, a strained cough, this time, Leon is begging the world, don’t take this sinner from me, not yet.
“Don’t talk,” Leon speaks, a pleading crack in his voice that betrays the way he tries to keep his hands steady, but the wetness in his lashes is not something he can hide.
“Don’t cry, Mi Vida— Don’t cry,” Luis soothes, eyes fixed on Leon, watching, admiring, adoring. “No lover leaves a rose garden without blood on their hands.”
Leon laughs. Soft. Disbelieving, because even with his last breaths, Luis is reciting sappy poetry to him.
So Leon leans in.
And—
He kisses him. He kisses Luis and he tastes blood on his lips.
He tastes something he can’t have. He tastes Luis.
You can’t force the stars to align when they’ve already died.
“Leon?” Luis asks, calls for him in his time of dying, voice so soft and fragile that it makes Leon ache. “Yes, Luis?”
“I’ll tell every star about you.”
Gavin Parished x $alem - The Beats Inside My Head
So, here it is! My second project all together is also a first in a way, my first collaboration project. For context, this is an updated cover for DSPs, it has all the original pieces but since then we've both had name changes. I was going by Gavin Burtscher at the time, yes simply my legal name. I decided to change it to Gavin Parished a while later, because I don't want to know what it'd be like being a white-passing person named Burtscher trying to be an underground rapper. However, at this time it was even worse. My name was GBX, thank God I didn't keep that one. It was taken actually which is what motivated me to switch. $alem is a great name for that style of production honestly but at the time she was going by 2can. I honestly don't remember why she changed it but I prefer the newer name as well.
So, how did this record come about? If I remember corerctly, this album came out in 2018 so my memory is a bit foggy on it, $alem messaged me because she liked the songs I had out at the time. All I had released by then was a now lost single titled Sometimes and my first album, The Beats Inside My Head. After a lot of talking about how we'd do this we decided, after creating 2 of the 3 collab tracks, to just take our own songs and mix them in. So the project would become a rule of 3: 3 of her songs, 3 of mine and 3 collaboration songs. We both thought it seemed like a cool project so she attached 3 of her previously released songs, one of the most recent at the time, and I attached 2 I had made during the summer with Don't Go serving as the album outro. During the summer the two songs I made for this were Lost In Space and Unknown Temptation (along with my own single "i hate me, and you should too" which I'll get back to later).
Lost In Space was a very large song. I spent weeks on it. It was inspired by my electronic and dubstep roots in the music creation field along with the trap music I was currently into. It's the most complex song on the album, switching up every few bars so the beat is always unique sounding.
Unknown Temptation was my tribute to XXXTENTACION, as it had been finished a few weeks after he had passed away. It was finished before Lost In Space but came out after, I saved it to release with the album. This is the more "me" sounding song of my songs on the project. The weird synths, hard hitting drums, freaky loops. This is the DNA I kept as I grew. I made this song as a tribute to him because he inspired me a lot as an artist, despite all the rotten things he did as a person. I remember when he passed away, I was sitting in my room on vacation in Austria, visiting my family with my dad. His and Chester Bennington's deaths were, at the time, the only celebrity deaths that really effected me and honestly? Without X, there wouldn't be the same Gp standing here today. But you'll hear a lot more of that in my next album.
Before I get to Ruby's contributions I want to add that currently only our collab songs and my singles are up on DSPs, but this post inspired me to message her about getting her songs up and making it a whole again. However, if you'd like to hear it in it's original form, you can listen to the whole thing on SoundCloud, with links to both our profiles, below.
Prod. GAVIN PARISHED x $alem. Volume 1 of the GAVIN PARISHED and $alem collective. More is ahead and destiny will put in place where they go
So, as far as her contributions go. The intro track, 10 kills g, was new at the time and I knew it had to be the intro. It got a rerelease and slight edit as the album dropped. Cocaine and Xaxax were her already released editions. We decided on those 2 after just talking about what the album is and what I'm doing creatively. They fit so we went with them. There's sadly not much more to tell here.
But now we have it, the 3 collaboration tracks. How'd they happen? Well, we made coffin first, which samples some Lil Peep interview clips. After making that beat around it we decided to go with that concept for all the tracks and sample artists we're inspired by. Ruby chose the artists and I did a lot of the lifting on the producion side. She was the lead on the first listed collaboration, Let Me Elevate Your Mind. She picked out the song and the voice clips while I did minimal editing. However, I did my best to work with what we had for graveyard robbers with the BONE$ and $UICIDEBOY$ clips. It fits her sound a lot more and honestly you can tell we were both amatuers at the time but that's part of the charm of these old projects, right? It was fun putting these together and eventually this lead to something a lot bigger that I'll get to down the road. You can listen to these tracks, as well as my 3, on Spotify. Here's the link to the 3 collaboration tracks.
Stream and Save The Wandering Minds EP - Distributed by DistroKid
So, the album is done! 10 kills g, Unknown Temptation, Let Me Elevate Your Mind and graveyard robbers were here, fresh to the public. And people liked it. It was nice. Honestly it was the last time for a long time that people in my life actually liked my music which felt great. Another album done, on to the next. During the creation of this record I was creating my debut hiphop mixtape, this time with vocals! This tape inspired how I went about producing a lot on there and my history wouldn't be the same without this cool project. Thank you to Ruby for reaching out for me and making The Wandering Minds happen. Sadly she doesn't produce much anymore but hey, maybe I can get her out and about again to do a lil sequel to this. I'll leave with this, show her SoundCloud some love! She's a really nice person and deserves it all.
Goth girl producer
The Beats Inside My Head
Hi! I'm going to run through my discography and add some details for you. This is my debut project, a 7 song mixtape I produced while I was coping with my grandfather's death. Before this I was making mashups on Soundtrap and learning how to to dubstep on Music Maker Jam. Originally, I was going to title these tracks after lines and give the project a different artwork but due to the events I changed up all of that. I'm sure why is understandable. There's not much to say here really sadly besides that this is a unique mix of electronic music and instrumental hiphop with an ambient feel to some of the sounds. It was fun learning to produce like this and I'd recommend Don't Go and Come Back.
However I will say it was a big change for me to release this project. At the time, I was working on being a YouTuber with one of my best friends, Daryan. We don't talk too much anymore but he designed the Gp on my first official piece of merchandise technically. It's not released or anything but I have it on in promo shots. I was making content about my interests at the time. Playing Minecraft, making custom Bionicles and giving them storylines, editing Pokemon AMVs, writing sketches, all the classic stuff. Unfortunately almost all of it is gone. One big collaboration AMV is still released, which I helped direct and edit for. It was a fun time but I decided to switch to music cause it became my biggest calling. I then proceded to delete all of my old videos, which honestly thinking back is heartbreaking. Were they cringe? 100%. Do I still want them up? Yes. Why? Well, it shows growth. Think, one day I'll be a bigger artist than I maybe ever imagined. If those videos were up, people from all over the world could see my true start, look at it then look at me then and say "hey, I'll try it!" Which is exactly why to this day I keep up my entire discography, unlike most annoying underground rappers who delete almost everything previously once a song blows up. There are a few AMV leftovers that I decided to keep up because I hadn't fully deleted them, check them out here!
Hello! It's me, Gp, just doing my thing. This is just a channel I'm doing for fun, talking about stuff I like, playing games, making little
But that's enough of that for now. In a way this album was me starting a legacy. I picked a sound, a style I liked and went for it. It really is easy to tell through this record alone what makes me different to the pears I surround myself with now. You can hear the DNA that is this album in my modern music, albeit way more defined and quality controlled. All I've done is improve in the last 8 years. Honestly typing that out just horrified me, I've been a content creator for a decade, around half my life, and a musician specifically for most of that too. It's crazy to think about but I like going back and listening to older records sometimes. Reminds me of where I came from.
Stream and Save The Beats Inside My Head - Distributed by DistroKid
With the above link you can listen to this tape. It's a swift listen, right around 18 and a half minutes. It's worth trying out, I still let some of the songs play when I listen to them. I want to shout out my grandfather too to end this. In a way I feel his death made me who I am, including the artist part of me. So I want to thank him for that, and may he rest in peace. I see him in my visions but honestly? I think about seeing him in the next place every single day.
View gavin_parished’s Linktree to discover and stream music from top platforms like YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music here. Your next favorite t
“I could kiss you senseless,” Luis says, idly flickering the rusty lighter on and off, the orange flame illuminating his features in the darkness— Luis glows, Leon thinks, he glows.
Leon rolls his eyes and grumbles something, a murmured “Don’t be ridiculous,” before his eyes glue themselves back to the contraption in his hands.
“You’re doing it all wrong, Sancho.” Luis speaks again, voice smooth and confident as he steps towards the worn down table, gently plucking the contraption from Leon’s fingers.
The mechanism effortlessly clicks into place, and Leon almost wants to roll his eyes again, but he doesn’t— Too transfixed on how beautiful Luis looks with his brows pinched together in concentration, chewing his bottom lip.
God, Leon craves. He craves so much that he aches with it.
“Voila! All done.” Luis announces proudly, and Leon smiles. Leon actually smiles.
-
Luis catches all the things Leon hides. The coldness in his stare, the vacancy in those icy eyes that really means he’s thinking about something, really thinking about it.
“You keep thinking those thoughts so deeply, Mi Amor, and you’ll drown in them.” Luis says, voice adorned with its typical playful edge, but he cares. His eyes show that he cares.
Leon snorts, “I can swim, y’know.”
Luis just smiles and shakes his head, then, a playful tut, “Even the best swimmers drown, Sancho.”
“Tell me, Leon, what is it you want?”
Leon opens his mouth; “I just want…”
You.
You.
I just want you.
But the words don’t come out.
-
“I could kiss you senseless,” Luis says again, but this time—
This time blood spills with every word, a strained cough, this time, Leon is begging the world, don’t take this sinner from me, not yet.
“Don’t talk,” Leon speaks, a pleading crack in his voice that betrays the way he tries to keep his hands steady, but the wetness in his lashes is not something he can hide.
“Don’t cry, Mi Vida— Don’t cry,” Luis soothes, eyes fixed on Leon, watching, admiring, adoring. “No lover leaves a rose garden without blood on their hands.”
Leon laughs. Soft. Disbelieving, because even with his last breaths, Luis is reciting sappy poetry to him.
So Leon leans in.
And—
He kisses him. He kisses Luis and he tastes blood on his lips.
He tastes something he can’t have. He tastes Luis.
You can’t force the stars to align when they’ve already died.
“Leon?” Luis asks, calls for him in his time of dying, voice so soft and fragile that it makes Leon ache. “Yes, Luis?”
“I’ll tell every star about you.”
Omg hear me out ‘you have such a talent for pretending you're innocent.’ With moonjo x jongwoo maybe moonjo says it and it’s after a fight or something? Or or or set near the end of sfh after jw kills the other residents
-delrouge
The low hum of the fluorescent light buzzed above them, casting a sickly yellow glow over the dim hallway of the rundown apartment complex. The atmosphere was heavy with the damp scent of the building, a smell that clung to everything, a stark reminder of the decay surrounding them.
Jongwoo stood frozen by his door, his hands trembling as he adjusted the strap of his bag. He had only just arrived back from his grueling day at work, and the last thing he wanted was to deal with Moonjo again.
Yet, Moonjo was there, leaning casually against the wall of the narrow corridor, as if he had all the time in the world.
“You look tired, honey.”
Moonjo said, his voice smooth, almost gentle—too gentle for someone like him. Too gentle given the way Jongwoo had screamed at him earlier.
Jongwoo stiffened. He could feel the dark energy swirling around Moonjo, even in the quiet moments. It wasn’t just his eyes— the sharp, predatory gaze that never seemed to miss a thing— it was the way Moonjo listened, like he could hear the thoughts that were too soft to be spoken aloud.
“I’m fine," Jongwoo muttered, avoiding that gaze as he reached for his door handle.
Moonjo straightened up, a slight smirk playing on his lips. “No, you’re not.” He took a step closer, his presence suffocating, as always. “You’re always so... tense, honey. So easily rattled.”
Jongwoo flinched at the proximity, but he kept his back straight. “What do you want?” he asked, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice.
Moonjo tilted his head, eyes gleaming with amusement. “Oh, I’m not here for anything specific,” he said with a slow drawl, calculating, clearly relishing in the discomfort he was causing. “Just thought I’d say hello.”
Jongwoo couldn’t help but let out a small, bitter laugh. “That’s a lie.”
“I scream at you— Smash some of your belongings, tell you to get fucked, and you pop back in to say hello? You’re full of shit, what do you want?”
Moonjo’s smile simply widened.
“You really are perceptive, honey. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
“Then what?” Jongwoo snapped, his patience wearing thin, begging to snap like a worn thread.
“You have such a talent for pretending you’re innocent,” Moonjo said smoothly, his tone almost admiring, fond. He took a step forward, closing the gap between them. "But I know better, honey.”
“I always know better.”
The words are laced with something knowing, and Jongwoo swallows thickly, his mouth suddenly dry, guilty. He wanted to tell Moonjo to shut up, but the words caught in his throat.
Guilty.
Moonjo notices. Of course he does. The silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating, and just as Jongwoo thought it wouldn’t be possible— Moonjo smiles wider.
And it looks wrong. It looks unhinged. And just like that—
He’s gone.
eyeing mod.sams likes….. requesting some alex.. scuttling away
(btw polar bears are so cute do you think any of the characters would like polar bears or bears in general)
ok that’s all baiii
YAYY I’m so glad you asked!!
-Alex’s living space is a chaotic blend of half-unpacked boxes, crumpled papers, and scattered notes.
-However, there's a method to his madness. He often arranges things in specific patterns or order, trying to make sense of the mess around him.
-It’s like a web he’s trying to piece together, but he can never get it all in one place. Despite the disarray, Alex knows exactly where everything is
-Alex has the most disjointed sleep schedule. He wakes up at strange hours, sometimes only a few hours after falling asleep. His routine is unpredictable.
-Paranoia keeps him awake, he doesn’t sleep much because he likes to be on guard.
-Alex is very territorial. If anyone enters his home or his personal space, he's immediately on edge. He’s constantly checking that the door is locked, the blinds are drawn, and that everything is exactly how he left it.
-Despite the cluttered mess that he calls his space, it’s his cluttered mess, and he doesn’t like people touching it.
-Alex writes. Not in a neat, organized way, but in a frenzied stream of consciousness. Journals, napkins, random scraps of paper, all filled with his obsessive thoughts about The Operator, his memories, and the people around him.
-He never cooks anything that requires more than a few minutes of attention. He sticks to simple, quick meals like instant noodles, sandwiches, or anything he can prepare without much effort. He’s too worried about things “going wrong”.
-He doesn’t talk much anymore— When he does interact with others, it’s often brief and clipped.
-Alex has a small collection of polar bear plushies. They're tucked away in a corner of his room or hidden in the back of a closet, but they’re there. Not that he’d ever let anyone stumble across them.
-Sometimes, Alex will sketch polar bears in his notebooks.
-He gets defensive about them. If someone makes some misinformed comment about them being aggressive creatures, Alex perks up like the personal defender of polar bears.
-He relates to them in an odd way. They’re solitary creatures and they get a bad wrap. People think they’re aggressive and unhinged. But they’re not.
-Once got extremely drunk in college and cried about climate change and how it was affecting the polar bears. It embarrasses him to this day. For Alex, It’s humiliation, for Tim— It’s weaponry.
ALL GONE
@abagofteeth ordered some Fem Lucas and the chef always serves
MY WIFE I LOVE HERRR
“I will always protect you”
— 𝐍𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐩.
A Hell is other people fan?? Best day of my life can you do mjjw headcanons?
-Moonjo always wakes up first. Always. He likes watching Jongwoo sleep—it’s part adoration, part control, and part fascination with how peaceful Jongwoo looks when he’s most vulnerable.
-Moonjo insists on cooking. His knife skills are precise and a little too practiced, and he takes disturbing pride in the presentation, not that Jongwoo eats it.
-Jongwoo reads true crime books. Not just for entertainment, but for understanding. Moonjo finds this hilarious and sometimes reads passages out loud in mock-lecturer tone.
-Every year, on the day Jongwoo first moved into Eden Goshiwon, they “celebrate.” Moonjo buys red wine. Jongwoo sits quietly, probably seething, but Moonjo thinks it’s all part of the charm.
-Jongwoo loses his temper. Moonjo just says “That’s so you, honey.” Jongwoo loses his temper some more.
-Moonjo never stops testing Jongwoo’s sanity. He’ll rearrange something subtly and wait to see if Jongwoo notices. If he does, Moonjo smiles. If he doesn’t, Moonjo smiles wider.
-They have a game where Moonjo tells a lie and Jongwoo has to detect it. If Jongwoo wins, he gets to go outside alone. If he loses, Moonjo takes a “souvenir” from him like a lock of hair, a book, a secret.
-Moonjo collects teeth in a jar. Jongwoo used to ask where they came from. He doesn’t anymore.
-They occasionally watch old horror films together.