aw, *&$% no.

clint barton ➳ hawkeye local landlord and not the worst avenger.

[hawkcyed]

gcblinprince:

“I wouldn’t take him. My place isn’t exactly pet friendly.” Not that he would know, it’s not like Harry’s ever tried having a pet. But he feels like he can safely assume his apartment is not the place for a dog. Too many fancy, expensive knick knacks. “I appreciate the sentiment though. Maybe you can come and visit sometimes, huh?” Harry directs the question to the dog with a smile, reaching to pat his head gently. “What - people don’t know things like that already? I figured people just - naturally knew not to be assholes to dogs. I’ve never even had a dog and I know that.”

“ You’re kidding. He lives with an owner who puts arrows in the walls, any place is a party. Not that i’m gonna let you steal him, but y’know. ” Clint acts like he has any say in the matter, and not like Lucky actually adopted him rather than the other way around. The amount of time he has with Kate, Clint’s hardly sure Lucky belongs to anybody but himself. Too much to explain to a stranger though. “ Hope you don’t scare easy, ‘cus you’ll be getting a scratch at your door in the dead of night. ” He’s a little too busy chowing down the rest of his slice to stop the dog from immediately nudging for further attention. It’s fine, he’ll stop him if he gets jumpy. “ ‘Cus you’re obviously a good dude. Smart dude. I had to get this guy from some real not so smart dudes, so. I think you just passed how to own a dog 101, how ‘bout that? ”

[hawkcyed]

starspangledman:

“I’ve had army coffee, Clint. I’m sure this is like heaven in comparison.” Steve says with a smile, letting out a soft chuckle. Having coffee is really just for the hell of it - it’s not like it makes a difference. The taste isn’t half-bad though, and Steve likes that he doesn’t have to worry about the caffeine wreaking havoc on his body. And he knows coffees’s pretty important to Clint, so there’s no harm in sharing some with him.

He doesn’t want to pry of course, if Clint doesn’t feel like talking about it that’s fair enough and Steve would leave it at that. But if something’s wrong, or something’s happened - if he needs help with something, Steve would rather know. If there’s one thing he’ll never do, it’s leave one of his team - his friends - hanging when they need a hand. He’s about to reply and ask if Clint needs any help cleaning up from his so-called rough night when Clint tries to backpedal, and Steve can’t help but wave to try and stop him. “It’s okay, I figured if you didn’t want me here I wouldn’t be sitting here sharing your hard-earned coffee.” Steve says quickly, tilting his head to the side a bit. If it were someone else he wouldn’t even think about saying this, but it’s Clint. He kind of knows he’s safe. Ish. “Look, I would talk but you wouldn’t be able to hear me, chances are you’d keep digging.” He says with a small smile. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“ I have it on good authority that this stuff is apparently ooze. I’d agree on the heaven front, but we might oughta get you checked out. ” Clint snorts, but he’s not going to put up a fight if Steve wants to take more of his home-made sludge. Usually? It’s made strong enough that anyone who thinks about stealing it has to think twice. Not that it’s deterred Kate in the past, but he remains pretty hopeful that it’ll stop any unwanted guests to helping themselves and ticking around while they’re at it. There’s only so many home invasions he can go through before it becomes priority item no.2.

And talking about coffee for long enough might distract most folks, if they weren’t Captain America for their day job. He’d figure that Steve would know by now that getting him to talk about anything serious either takes hard liquor, or the equivalent of pulling teeth. Or apparently, one hell of an asshole joke. Anyone else, and Clint would be likely to throw an arrow at them. Steve? Epitome of a guy as good as could be? There’s a guffaw let out, louder than he’d usually, when there’s no way for him to tell his own volume. “ I take it back, you’re totally an asshole. I could still read lips, you know. It’s no skin off my nose to look at your face for however long, man. ” Steve would have to know that much at least just by — hell, looking in a mirror? The general ability to make civilians swoon by so much as brushing his hair back? Clint has a working theory that the serum must have made the guy some kind of pheromone god, the effect he has on people. “ It’s nothing, really. Low-grade thugs, but I guess so was my Dad. No big deal, i’ll just put them back in tomorrow. ” Another chug of coffee, as he signs one-handed. “ What about you? Just using your day off to tour around? ”

[hawkcyed]

deadpoolreturns:

It was time for a super duper hero double up. Wade was always willing my to work with Clint, as long as the man paid his dues in tacos.. Now Wade wasn’t a hero, but he certainly would do a lot for his love of food. “Clint, my man my guy!” He said smiling as he tapped the other man on his shoulder, quickly moving to squeeze his arms. “Have you worked out? I feel like you’ve gotten stronger” he smiled through his mask. His own thoughts side tracked him as they were originally there to stop crime. “Oh right.. yeah I brought my guns, I am so ready to murder-to not murder just wound with bullets” he said as he pulled out both of his pistols, getting himself ready for whatever mess they were walking into to, a mess they were there to clean up.

He headed his way to where the bad guys were, which I guess really depended on your view. They were the bad guys, to the bad guys. “Birdman, do your thing..” wade said as he headed down the alleyway, where a drug deal was taking place. He threw his guns to the floor, raising his hands and surrendering. “Please don’t hurt me!” He shouted as he approached them. He would get as close as possible and use his katanas.

“ Wh— Either that or your hands have gotten weak as candyfloss? ” Now, Clint is pretty used to working with strange folks. Hey, he’s usually the one making most of the conversation and knocking people off-guard. But it takes a certain amount of time to switch gears and get ready for working with Wade - which is usually done by the same time they are, and Clint is suddenly back to dealing with the sullen and angst-driven. “ Aw, geez. Just remember, they can’t watch the gun show if there’s a lethal hole right in ‘em. ” A lesson he had to learn too once upon a time, but with Wade - he figures it’s safer to remind him than leave that open to interpretation. 

Not that Clint would usually need help for disrupting a deal like this, but it’s been a pretty down on his luck kind of week. Without Wade, it’s likely he’s about to get shot somewhere. With Wade, it’s likely — well if Clint doesn’t guess, then he’s not going to be wrong about it. “ Hawkguy is better than damn Birdman. ” He mutters, but still works around the other side of the alley, quietly subduing those on the outskirts without commentary while Wade deals with the front.

[hawkcyed]

redarrowes:

roy snickers, but he’s heard the joke a thousand times.  he’s a dynamite lay, thank you very much.  “ yeah, yeah. i’ve heard that one about a dozen times.  usually from people who are jealous of my dance card, mind you. ”  he watches the next shot with an impressed nod.  it’s not often that roy meets new archers, either.  most of the ones he knows are already family.  or, yeah. crazy people who want to shoot him.  “ boomerang arrow is the best idea i’ve ever fucking heard.  please tell me you have one with you. ”

“ can’t say i’ve heard about your dance card to get jealous about it. it’s a professional curiosity, you know? good looking guy, decent shot, i’m gonna make the obvious pun here and say there’s bound to be a drawback somewhere. ” clint isn’t even ashamed of that joke. for off the cuff, he’s pretty amused by it, even if he’s possibly the only one. still, at least this guy appreciates some kind of creative genius, unlike some other folks he knows. he’s gonna mark the date on the calendar. “ you just made my favourite archer list. hell yeah, I do. check the quiver, freshly labelled. ”

[hawkcyed]

gcdofstories‌:

     there’s a small grimace at the sight of the coffee being spilled, a small semblance of oops. maybe he should have given a slight warning but it wasn’t like the god knew clint was in the middle of drinking hot coffee. ah, well. green eyes widen at the sight of the projectile coming his way once he settles down, reaching up to grab it before it could actually smack him in the face. “my cushion now,” he huffs, holding it to his chest. “not normally. the amount of times my oaf of a brother barged into my room while i was reading was staggering. besides, this is an easier way of moving about.” lips pursing, loki moves to a sitting position, cushion still wrapped up in his arms. “and here i was hoping you’d have pizza for little old me. or something. help a poor god out here, barton.”

figures loki would take claim of the cushion of all things, too. shame for him, that thing’s been stained by dust and spills from the day clint got it. “ well if you’re gonna go taking his example i’m gonna have to start calling you an oaf, too. you’re not widow, a little warning or it might be an arrow next time. ” he sighs, and attempts to rub some of the coffee away from his skin. doesn’t work, he’s probably going to have a burn when he can spare the energy to think about it. right now he’s mourning half his coffee, and doing his best not to throw something else in loki’s direction. clint can be a pushover sometimes, sure. most would probably consider him that for letting himself know this new... loki, in any sense other than being kate’s teammate. but he’s a lifetime of bad decisions, and kate vouching for loki had carried it’s own weight. “ you’re the furthest thing from a poor god. can’t you just — ” a pause, where clint waggles his own fingers in a way he’s certain he’s seen strange do before. “ poof food into existence or something? better than whatever’s growing life in my kitchen. ”

[hawkcyed]

gcblinprince‌:

So Harry’s never had a pet himself. When he was a kid his dad would never let him, and he was too young for one when his mother was around to overrule Norman. And he feels like he’s just… too old for it now, to learn how to take care of a pet. But, seeing people with their pets is one of the most heartwarming things. Pretty much ever. So seeing the guy’s dog perk up at the smell of pizza makes him smile without a second thought. “Honestly? If he’d chased me I would’ve stopped him and given him at least two slices.” Harry offers with a chuckle, waving the boxes a little, still holding the lid up. “Go on, take one. Any guy who gives up a slice of pizza to their dog deserves one.”

The thing is, Clint’s pretty sure that Lucky’s undying loyalty has been won over already to this guy. The biggest sign is his attempts to lick at the other guy’s hands - or is that the bottom of the pizza boxes? Clint can’t tell, but he’s pretty used to the dog warming up to anyone with food or a kinder face. “ Do that and i’m pretty sure you’d be taking him home. You’re an easy guy to impress, aren’t you boy? ” Not that Clint’s much harder to buy over, already brightening up in place and taking a slice with a face that clearly says score. Given the track record, he’s likely to buy the guy a drink or swoop in to take a car hit for the dude by now. “ Guy after my own heart. You oughta spread that idea around town, y’know. I’d put it on a flyer but no-one wants to listen to this face. ”

[hawkcyed]

redarrowes‌:

“ as a guy who used to call himself speedy, i think titty twisty is a perfectly viable sidekick option. ”  it can’t be any less lucky with the ladies, right?  roy huffs out a laugh at his own personal joke.  “ hawkeye is kind of a bitchin’ name, better than anything i’ve ever come up with. ”  roy shakes the guy’s hand.  “ red arrow, these days.  nothing fancy. ”  the offer of a chance at the shot makes roy smirk briefly.  he pulls back his own arrow until the string grows almost intolerably taught, lines up his shot, and releases with a quiet hiss of exertion.

“ I dunno, red arrow could be plenty fancy. depends if you wanna get all dressy ‘bout it. ” remarkably, clint stays quiet as red arrow lines up. pretty rare day he runs into an archer that he’s not training, or hasn’t tried shooting him in the past. sure hoping this guy isn’t going to be a part of the latter, when that’s a shot that clint could admire. “ nice shot. pretty good that you’re quick on the draw, or i’d worry where speedy really came from. ” clint snickers, reaches back for another arrow, and takes his own shot. “ so - i’m gonna go ahead and guess you know what you’re talking about, settle an argument for me here. boomerang arrow. awesome idea or dumbest idea? ”

[hawkcyed]

starspangledman‌:

closed starter for @hawkcyed !

“Thanks for the coffee.” Steve signs before he picks up the fresh mug of coffee, taking a sip. The caffeine may not technically do much to him now, thanks to the serum, but the memory of the taste is enough sometimes. Which is kinda weird, he knows. The mind is a crazy thing, apparently. Setting the mug down, Steve watches his teammate for a moment, tilting his head to the side a little.

It’s not every day he goes without his hearing aids, and while it could be a simple case of them being broken or out of charge again… He gets the feeling it could also be something else. “Having a quiet day?” He asks, offering Clint a small smile as he gestures towards his ears, hoping his friend won’t mind the kind of nosey question. But if something’s wrong.. he’d rather know. He’d rather help.

“ If it’s too much like tar, you can risk the creamer. Might be a bio-weapon by now though. ” Clint has to admit, even if he’s had time to get to know Steve beyond the mantle of Captain America, it’s pretty weird to see the guy in his rundown apartment. There’s still arrows in the ceiling and walls, at least two empty mugs per surface, and an amalgam of empty take-out containers around the place. It’s not Clint’s finest hour, and it’s safe to say he’s extremely glad it’s not MTV Cribs here instead. 

But he’s here now, and seemingly as earnest as always. It’s strange to be faced with when directed at him. Makes it a little harder to just brush off. What can he say, it’s a few weeks off the divorce anniversary? A thug boxed his ears last night and pushed him into best-forgotten nightmares? That’s too much honesty for Clint’s liking. “ Had a rough night, figured I could let myself ignore whatever assholes tried to bother me today. ” Wait. Shit. “ Not you, you’re not an asshole. Well i’ve heard Sam call you that, but that has to make you low-tier at most. This is where you talk, so I can stop digging myself a hole. ”  

[hawkcyed]

sirensmade‌:

@hawkeycd​

“ listen, sir, ” nico says, with just a touch of impatience, “i’ll be with you in just a minute. ”  his foot connects with the glass of a car’s passenger side window.  this time the semi-cracked glass gives way and nico manages to avoid any major lacerations.  he reaches inside, pulls the fuzzy dice off the rear view mirror, and then holds them aloft triumphantly.  “ see, i told you it’d be quick. ”  he puts his free hand on his hip and flashes a smile.

  “ so, hi.  what can i do for you?  hawkeye, isn’t it? ”  he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, just in case he needs to run, and scratches at the edge of his thin domino mask. 

there’s someone out there probably judging how clint actually waits for the guy to be done with his casual destruction. but it’s not like it’s his car. or like he has a car right now. and clint’s about 80% sure that trying to step in the way is a surefire way to get cut up by a car that looks like a pimp my ride reject. a pimp my ride reject with one of his tracker arrows stuck in the rear. “ you know those things are like five bucks, right? don’t think they’re gonna be winnin’ you big money in vegas... ” he sighs, and really hopes this won’t come back to haunt him some day. it probably will. but he’s got a small soft spot for the young folk causing a little havoc, weird to think that once upon a time that was him. god he was old.

but hey, he got the name right. and apparently clint said that out loud, so now he’ll have to roll with it. “ wait, who are you--? ” no, wait, potentially not as urgent. “ didn’t happen to see where the driver scurried off to, did you? ”

[hawkcyed]

@notyourweapcn​

so, maybe clint should get a little more on top of this landlord thing. if having to google ‘how to be a landlord’ wasn’t enough of a sign as it is, getting locked out of his own apartment definitely is. normally that wouldn’t be so bad, just a quick climb up the fire escape, problem solved. except it’s slogging down with rain, and no matter what his teammates might say at times, he’s not actually walking around with a death wish.

which leaves him contemplating breaking the door open, or leaving a totally blase voicemail to kate about how she should come over for training. right now. thankfully as he starts to fumble for his phone, laura appears on the stairs, and clint isn’t entirely sure he’s not hallucinating the sound of angels singing that comes with the arrival of hope. or perhaps it’s lucky, already trotting over to helpfully sniff at his new friend. “ hey! hey, uh. just a little consensual breaking and entering, nothing to worry about. ” clint assures, and once again looks between the door and his newest tenant. “ i’ll give you ten bucks if you can lend me a hair pin? hell i’ll take a paperclip. ”

[hawkcyed]

gcblinprince‌:

“Uh -” Harry skids to a stop, almost comically, and looks down at the three pizza boxes tucked under his arm. He had completely intended to eat them himself - listen, it’s been a year, but he’s still not used to his crazy appetite. He could easily demolish three pizzas and wouldn’t think twice about it. Hell, he’d go back for ice cream later.

But he knows full well that’s not normal. It makes way more sense to assume he got three pizzas to share. “Yeah, of course you can have a slice.” He answers, setting the boxes down and opening the top one so they can take a slice of the pepperoni pizza inside. “Just the one though, this isn’t a pizza charity.”

Okay, so Clint isn’t the person to judge if a guy is gonna eat three large pizzas by himself. He’s been there. Is still there, given the way Lucky perks up at his feet. Which cues up the competition, a series of looks between Clint and his dog, and then back to the stack of pizzas. Ugh, Clint is a pushover. No-one said puppy eyes were enhanced when they came from a one-eyed dog. “ You heard him, boy. No jumping. ” Clint takes the offered slice, and with something akin to tiny violins playing in his head, gives it up to Lucky to eagerly devour. “ Thanks, man. I hate to say it? But he’d have probably chased you down the street if you didn’t give it up. Real terror. For the low price of another slice, I can keep you on the downlow? ”

[hawkcyed]

gcdofstories‌:

      there was absolutely no warning to the actions. loki never did see a need for it, nor ever would despite what others may say. it was just simple – one minute he wasn’t in the room, and at the very next the god was stretched out over the couch, allowing himself to get comfy in a home that was clearly not his own. “why hello there, barton. funny to see you here,” the god drawled out, amusement clearly written on his features. “figured i might pop in for a bit, see what you were up to. or rather, what you were getting for dinner. i am a bit hungry.”

@hawkcyed​

it goes to say something for having a bunch of sneaky teammates and a lifetime of ambushes that clint doesn’t verbally swear up a storm. ...at first. but the sudden appearance still makes him jump, sending hot coffee to spill down his entire front. “ holy %&*$ -- why? ” the question isn’t even directed at loki, per se, more the universe as a whole. it takes another moment, to remind himself that kate would probably have something to say if he tried to maim her teammate, and still he decides to chuck the nearest cushion at the god. real threatening, barton. “ just a question. knocking like... isn’t a thing up there in asgard, or what? no, no food, the only scrounger allowed in these parts is the dog. ”

[hawkcyed]

redarrowes‌:

@hawkeycd​

   roy gives a long, low whistle when he watches the impressive shot.  damn impressive, actually.  “ dude, that was badass. ”  roy taps his knuckles lightly against the guy’s shoulder.  “ and the purple ??  also badass. ”  roy appreciates an archer with a good mono-chromatic theme.  “what do they call you ??  violet violence ?  purple nurple ? ” 

" purple nurple? nah, that was too open to a titty twister sidekick for my style, y’know? ” clint can soothe the blow to his ego that he’s unknown later. at least the guy had the decency to be a solid audience before that one came rolling in. “ they were thinkin’ paleolithic pal, but try saying that in an emergency. ” the bow’s lowered, and free from arrows he can offer a hand out. “ hawkeye. you wanna take a shot mister... red rumba? ”

[hawkcyed]

> ( nyle dimarco / 36 / he/him ) – hey, have you noticed [ HAWKEYE ] around lately? rumor is they’re from [ BED-STUY, NEW YORK ]. out of costume, i think they go by [ CLINT BARTON ] !! their [ ARCHERY SKILLS ] make them a perfect fit for [ AVENGERS ]. 

hey folks! clint will be primarily following the 616 comics rather than mcu, mostly inspired by the fraction/aja run but maybe including freefall as more of that comes out. i’ll keep some details vague when it comes to certain characters, in case the muns want to discuss a different background. but as he’s got quite a honkin big history, i’ll do my best to sum it up here for anyone!

- clint grew up in an abusive household, along with his brother barney. his parents eventually passed following a drunken car crash, and both brothers were put into the system. this didn’t work well for them, so they eventually ran away and joined the circus. - here trickshot and the swordsman trained both brothers, but clint especially in archery. when he found out the circus was a cover for committing crimes, clint turned them in and was beaten and left for dead by his mentors and brother. - when recovered, he eventually donned a costume of his own and joined black widow, who he worked with until being recruited to join the avengers. - clint primarily worked with the avengers for a long time, during which he made a subset (west-coast avengers) and also managed to get married and divorced to a fellow teammate. - more recently, clint is trying to take more stake in his personal life rather than constant hero-ing and assorted teams. this included saving a dog and apartment building from tracksuit draculas (read as: russian thugs), and ended up owning both through highly moral stealing. - he currently lives here, sometimes visited by his protege hawkeye, and the address is pretty well known to those he’s worked with in the past.

tidbits: - clint is deaf, following several different traumas that have impacted his hearing, and relies on hearing aids in order to hear. without the hearing aids, he relies on sign, lip-reading, or good old ignoring folks have spoken.  - he’s not the smartest cookie in the box, but what smarts he does have leans majorly into fighting and tactical work. - he usually trademarks and copyrights his own arrows. why.