the umbrella academy pilot script starters : sentences taken from the original script of “we only see each other at weddings and funerals.” feel free to change anything as needed.
how much do you want for it?
everyone was taking bets on whether you’d show…
you’re seriously gonna defend him/her/them? after what he/she/they did?
you’re wasting your time.
so you’re checking the doors and windows…. for fun?
why are you doing this, [name?]
i didn’t want him/her/them to be scared.
he’s/she’s/they’re really gone, huh?
you know what i love about funerals?
everything i own is black!
so he’s/she’s/they’re still insane.
what’s important is: there are still things we need to discuss.
question: will there be food?
wait, sorry, i wasn’t listening.
who had that kind of access?
please, like it’s not obvious.
you think one of us did it
but there's definitely no food.
you’re not supposed to be down here.
come out, come out, wherever you are!
you always were a stubborn bastard.
it was the best day of my life…
in their defense, you did accuse one of them of patricide.
so, you don’t believe me either?
you should have faith in your family.
get back, don’t touch it.
pretty big difference there!
what the hell are you going to do with that?
do you have a better idea?
anyone care to tell me what year this is?
you look ridiculous, by the way.
i wanted to rub it in his/her/their face.
that doesn’t mean we have a motive.
you wanna talk motive, how’s that for getting “screwed over”?
you did ask what i’m doing…?
well then, i wasn’t doing anything at all.
what’s been keeping you busy these days?
the world’s better off without him/her/them.
there’s your legacy right there.
and you’re trespassing, why did you even come back?
i told you what would happen, didn’t i?
this is what it’s like to be in the presence of gods.
why can’t i go play with the others?
there’s nothing special about you.
if you’re gonna convince me to stay, you’re wasting your time.
what kind of adult doesn’t drink coffee?
oh good, [name’s] still here. said no one ever.
lot’s of fun, guys. let’s totes do it again.
there is nothing to figure out!
we’re not gonna pretend like this thing didn’t happen.
get help, [name]. seriously.
lovely, i’ll get my things.
i’ve been eating speed for the last three days, and every time i close my eyes i see centipedes.
tell me there’s coffee somewhere..
do you even know how to drive?
i know how to do everything.
the last time.. it didn’t turn out so hot.
ain’t you a little young for that?
get me a goddamned cup of coffee or i’ll burn this place to the ground…. please.
is that supposed to be a joke?
we don’t want any trouble.
this doesn’t have to get messy.
i really can’t get rid of you, can i?
wanna tell me what’s going on?
if you just brought an evil statue to life i’m gonna be so pissed at you.
you should have locks on your windows.
don’t worry, it’s not mine.
i’ve decided you’re the only one i can trust.