The Fakest Pervert.

Hi, I'm Hawn. Welcome to my blergh.

[hawnifer]

I can understand why love is so crucial in this adult world now.

Having drowned myself in my work, and dressing myself up to match the façade, I can see why adulthood drains people of their joviality, their youth. It isn't that growing up makes you old. It's that becoming old leeches away at your youth.

Love, love was all that kept me bound to this world and kept my heart glowering with the flush of a maiden.

But...what of now?

What of us? Adulthood has taken a toll, and taken my home from me. My heart from me. My world from me.

But being the adult I am, I must understand.

But, being the child that I am. I refuse to understand.

Why must it be like this? Why can't I be beside you in times of need and trouble? If you love me, why must you cast me aside as if I don't matter to you?

Why do I not get a say? Why is it I never get a say? Is it because...because it doesn't matter how I feel?

Because feelings are but frivolities and the future holds much more promise than what we see today? Forget tomorrow!

I want to be here. I want today. I want to celebrate you and your successes each day. I want to adore you, caress you and love you with every fiber of my being, today. Right this moment. I don't care for tomorrow...

Tomorrow might never come. But if it does, let us welcome it like a blessing.

My love...let me tell you today. My heart, loves you. Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day.

I'm convinced that since the day I was born, you were the person I was meant to love. But...I must not be that person for you.

What a pity...what a shame...if you don't receive my feelings. These overflowing feelings, then where am I to turn? What am I to do?

Other than hiding them away and putting my adulthood back on to quietly march to the daily charade, feigning reliability, faking my smiles. Replying with my "I'm doing okay, how about you?"

Day, after day, after day.

Please....save me from myself. Let me love you. You make being an adult, feel like it's nothing serious. When I'm with you, you make life worth the while and my days have purpose. It's not as though you need to be perfect, I don't want anything like that.

I just want to your soul to be with mine, and live through today so that I can believe in a tomorrow.

All I want is to love you.

[hawnifer]

All I've ever wanted was a place to belong. And I honestly thought I found it.

It's funny how I'm not a believer, but it really does feel like I've been ejected from Eden and made to wander the face of the Earth on my own, while always wondering why I couldn't have done something different to change the course of my actions.

But even now, returning to that Garden, my sunflowers will have long wilted replaced with roses. Beautiful roses more fragrant, more dazzling, less commonplace than I.

I don't have a place I belong and I've grown too weary to continue my search. And so I stay in this moment. And the next. And the next.

The moments turn to days, weeks, years. And all I fear now, is that as time continues its flow; I too will wash away without ever finding where I belong.

[hawnifer]

Currently just a generic girl with a broken heart.

Life has been a bundle of pointless, repetitive motions.

I honestly don’t have much of an aim now outside of my work.

I don’t really know what there is to look forward to.

But my pride won’t let me just stop. I have to keep going. I have to keep pushing. I have to keep struggling to live.

Because if I don’t. If I stop, I’ll realize you really left me.

And that there really isn’t a point in trying anymore.

[hawnifer]

Yuri!!! on Ice Anime Trailer - 2016

The video reveals the anime will be a television series, and also reveals the staff and cast. The website has also revealed a key visual : http://yurionice.c...

My reason for existing till the end of this year <3

[akairiot]

D E E P  L O V E 2: we need to go deeper

support the artist - buy merch - ask questions - twitter

[hawnifer]

Stressed? I’m not stressed.

Anyone here remember the circle game? Good. Cmere and let me punch you.

[hawnifer]

I am alive.

But I am putting all commission work stuff on hold for this week.

It’s my finals week this summer and things are becoming beyond hectic for me and I don’t want to do poop quality work on my art….where I will be on my lit review lol.

So if you are someone in the midst of a business transaction with me (lolthatsoundsweird) many apologies m(_ _’)m I will be back on the map come next week.

Meanwhile, enjoy this picture of my cat <3

[hawnifer]

Finally realizing why it is I do my best work in the middle of the night.

BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS FUCKING AWAKE AND BARGING INTO MY ROOM ASKING ME TO DO SHIT ALL THE TIME LIKE WTFFFFF.

If I can somehow be financially stable like, rn.

Just, rn. 

[hawnifer]

Adulthood has just become an unending To-Do list.

Did you do this, did you do that, did you do the thing that you were dreading and have been putting off for the past two weeks, why haven’t you done that thing that gives you immense anxiety and has been eating away at your well being?

DO THEM. DO ALL THE THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO FUCKING DO.

[vinsuality-nsfw]

Commission for @silverfox442 on picarto.

His OC Taika with front view for now. And big thanks to @mehawn for line art

Full resolution will be available on my patreon

[hawnifer]

Oh hey look, I helped make this awesomeness happen c:

Currently working on the back view as well~

[akairiot]

i’m so dizzy

my head is spinnin’

support the artist - buy merch - ask questions - twitter

[hawnifer]

So simple. So beautiful. So perfect T^T

[hawnifer]

Herp.

Another poopy self-portrait. This time, lap-tiger Hawn edition.

Still waiting for a buff, rough looking, kindhearted retired Yakuza to take me in.

Also yes. My hair has been “accidentally” dyed brown. This is a story I may share later if anyone is interested...although I doubt I will.

Just when I thought I couldn’t get more boring. My hair is now osananajimi worthy.

[hawnifer]

Just finished a commission for Themskenobi over on DA of their OC with Atobe Keigo from PoT.

This pose was nnnnnnnhard. But I actually had a lot of fun making the dude look ikemen af.

If any of you are interested in me drawing for you for some $$ to pay for my car, which is now wrecked haaaa, feel free to check out the information HERE

[akairiot]

June pinup for Patreon – Corrin <3

support the artist - buy merch - ask questions - twitter

[hawnifer]

Commission Info~

Hey there fine friendly folks (ᅌᴗᅌ* )~

   Summer is here, which means that I have to take summer courses...but it also means that my educational load is much less and that I am open to satiate your artsy fartsy needs. So whether you've been dying to have your OC(s) drawn, your undying love for your 2D waifu (or husbando) consolidated for the interwebs, or you need some lewds of an obscure character from a game no one else seems to appreciate- I am here, to help. 

I'm trying to keep this as simple as possible, but of course things aren't always the case. If for some reason what I'm offering isn't enough to satisfy your artistic needs then I am more than happy to discuss an alternate option as well as what it'll cost you. I promise, I'm relatively reasonable.

If you find that you are interested in commissioning me, please fill out this form in your e-mail to:

[email protected]

Title: Commission (and where you found me DevArt, Tumblr, Twitter, etc.) Paypal name: your paypal name, email                                                   Commission type: pick option A, B or C and any additional materials References: Picture references or any written material I could use Descriptions: describe what you're hoping to see in AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE, details. All the details. Tell me the character's life story, why you want them drawn, if they need to be drawn a certain way or for a certain context, etc.                                                                                                 Extra notes (optional): anything else you think I should know

Just a friendly reminder that if you tack on any H-material that you are a consenting adult that is 18+. Let's not play games c:

I do require that all payments be upfront and only through PayPal. I will send an INVOICE for payment and will only start work once the payment has been accepted. Thanks for your cooperation on this.

Cool thing is though, you can follow my progress on your commission right HERE! I’ll be opening up 5 slots to begin with.

Honestly, thanks for taking the time to check this out and for all the love you’ve given to my art already. I really do hope to work some magic with you,

_(:3 」∠)_~Hawn 

[projectendo-deactivated20210112]

getting inspired to draw but nothing comes out right

[jigglypuffsvevo]