Addicted.

"Confide in me, ill always be here"

[paprika]

[tenwordstories]

I like to pretend that things don’t hurt me but honestly I’m so fragile.

[blackness-by-your-side]

oops

[eartha-zipp]

Jesus

[humorrelated]

reblog so your followers won’t forget to drink water

[spudsexuall]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

[weavemama]

CHRISSY OMFG

[tylha]

i don’t normally write on the walls, but i was getting pretty pissed. like, who the fuck says i can’t be smart and have sex at the same time? i could literally get eaten out and recite the quadratic formula if i damn well please.

[anachronisch]

!!!

[astrokittygurl]

[executed-deactivated20161004]

[memethiefsteve]

[heartbeatemoji]

this is like so funny but terrifying¿ im laughing partially out of fear

[owlpharaoh]

[sizvideos]

To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter - Video

[adventures-with-anabelle]

This is awesome

[g33kgasm-deactivated20140705]

Hahahahaha!

[sydnecatt]

I will never not reblog this

[viralthings]

The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes.

[chandra-nalaar]

this is just a normal waffle house

[kayas-wife]

there is a bloody handprint on the door

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

There is somethung under the counter with the cups

[advanced-procrastination]

A normal waffle house

[surprisebitch]

is that a tentacle wrapped around the little boy’s arm

[diary-of-a-chinese-kid]

The “O” in women bothers me

[evilrashida]

This shit ALWAYS makes me chuckle

[veganhobbit]

happy mother’s day, earth. i’m sorry we are destroying you

[mr-cappadocia]

For hundreds of thousands of years “mother earth” sent every horror under the sun against her human children. Plague, drought, famine, volcanic detonation, and destruction on an enormous scale decase after decade, century after century.

And you find fault with us?

A mother who tortured her children the way she’s tortured us isn’t fit to bear the title “mother”. A mother who feeds and then starves, a mother who gives birth and then slaughters…

That she should find our blade at her throat now should be a surprise to none involved. We owe her nothing, least of all the compassion she’s never shown us.

[blackshuckofficial-deactivated2]

you ever hated women so much you pulled receipts on a fucking planet

[smitethestate]

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

[jellybubble-deactivated20170715]

i am SO PRETTY from a little distance, in a shaky selfie, passing by, in low lighting. it’s the added mystery. NO u don’t have to come closer, this is fine