VARRIC

sideblog to @inquisitiion. veilguard spoilers. 18+.

[hcusetethras]

VARRIC TETHRAS from the DRAGON AGE SERIES. with verses for dragon age 2 , inquisition and veilguard. veilguard spoilers will be present. penned by underworld. follows and likes from @inquisitiion.

rules. about. verses. tags.

[hcusetethras]

📋 From Nymh !

INCORRECT QUOTES.

varric: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. nymh: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

varric: nymh and I are no longer friends. nymh: VARRIC THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

nymh: Are you trying to seduce me? varric: Why, are you seducible?

varric: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? nymh: Make lemonade! varric: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with it’s own shit.

[hcusetethras]

📋 From Eolas !!!

INCORRECT QUOTES.

varric: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. eolas: Spear. varric: BLOCKED.

varric: Can I bother you for a second? eolas: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

eolas: I’m having salad for dinner! varric: eolas: Well, fruit salad. eolas: Actually, it’s mostly grapes. varric: eolas: Okay, it’s all grapes. eolas: Fermented grapes. varric: eolas: varric: eolas: It’s wine. eolas: I’m having wine for dinner.

eolas: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. varric: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

[hcusetethras]

📋 you already know

INCORRECT QUOTES.

rook: What are amphetamines? varric: Drugs that can go on land and water. rook: Ohhhh.

rook: Help! I’m drowning! varric: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! rook: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

*rook is fighting a monster* varric: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it! rook: The power to believe in myself!? varric: No, a knife! Stab it!

rook: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! varric: Apparently, we're not.

[jjcre8archive]

✩˚｡⋆ 𝑰𝑵𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑.

send in 📋 , ( or ' incorrect quote ' if you don't see the emoji. ) & i'll use THIS GENERATOR & make an edit of our muses. ( or group if multiple names are given. )

[hcusetethras]

c'monnn............. you're holding out on me here !

[hcusetethras]

( QUICKLY REACHING FOR HIS PEN ) hooollllyyy shit........

[timestcpper]

@hcusetethras said: " Quick, while they're not looking, we can make a run for it. "

" Fuck- Shit ! " Eolas never was one for stealth, or speed really. In fact her armour made her clunky and slow more than half of the time. She spent half of the Fifth Blight taking off her damn breast plate at the end of the day ! ... " Easier for you than me Varric ! "

It's a whisper of a yell, but it got her point across anyhow as she held her hands out at her sides like she was trying to balance on something.

" I wasn't exactly made for quick you know ! You can ask anyone that ever traveled with me why we never did stealth missions. "

[hcusetethras]

As he begins to take off , the barrage of curses coming from behind him is enough to get him screeching to a halt again. He whips his head around to look at her , before looking left and right to make sure they haven’t caught anyone’s attention. So much for being quiet. He’s surprised they haven’t alerted all of Thedas with the clanging of her armor.

❛ Yeah , I think I figured that out. ❜ Alright , then. Time to move onto plan B. Well , shit. He didn’t have a plan B. This was barely plan A. That’s okay. He can improvise. His head swivels left and right again , trying to find some way to get them out of this.

❛ You really think they’d take the time to make armor that actually fits you , seeing as you’re the Hero of Ferelden and all. ❜

[hcusetethras]

@peacevigilcnce asked :

❛ I just haven't found anything better yet.❜ FROM ANDERSSS

There's a deep guilt that comes with talking to Anders as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't let him down , ignoring all the warning signs that led up to him doing something drastic. But if they're going to coexist , then Varric's going to do his damnedest to make it up to him somehow. Even if it's through dragging him into begrudging self care. ❛ C'mon , Blondie. I'm pretty sure you've been in those same robes for the past ten years. Now , I don't have the slightest idea of how the fade works , but there's gotta be some clothes here that fit you. And if there's not , then I'm sure we can find a merchant that sells some that do. ❜

He rests his hands on his hips with only a slight amount of awkwardness. ❛ And before you say anything about not having the Sovereigns to your name or any other lame excuse , I've got it covered. ❜

[hcusetethras]

yeah. stop stealing my shtick , kid.

[electronicmail]

Is your shitty taste in music a direct result of your parent's neglect?

my taste in music is phenomenal why are you looking down on easy listening jazz

[timestcpper]

@hcusetethras said: ❛ The last paragraph I was actually thinking about Shrek instead of Rapunzel so she hasn't actually been waiting for a knight this whole time. Retcon. ❜

" I- Varric did you have a stroke just now ? Do I need to call Rook ? Or Caspian even ? Because not a single one of those words belong in a sentence with that context. Ever. " Eolas set his rough draft down on the cafe table and folded her hands over it, looking a little bewildered at the author in front of her. She usually really enjoyed reading through his latest creations, janky and half done as they may be, but this one was just everywhere, and the phrase that came out of Varric's mouth certainly did not help.

" I am honestly convinced you wrote this one half asleep, drunk, and in the dark. I am saying this as your friend, and because I love you, but holy shit go back to the drawing board. "

[hcusetethras]

A hand raises to rest on his chin thoughtfully as he watches Eolas read the draft. She's taking this a lot more seriously than he is. He chuckles softly , raising an eyebrow. ❛ Yeah , you're right. The Shrek influence is probably too obvious. Anyone could pick up on that. ❜ He's just bored. That's the only thing that can explain it. Nothing he writes excites him anymore , he just puts thoughts to paper and hope they appeal enough to straight women to make him some money.

❛ Well , I can say I certainly wrote a good part of this drunk. ❜ Maybe too drunk , seeing as he mistook the plot of Shrek for the plot of Rapunzel. ❛ I'm usually not too worried about the quality , but if you think it's bad . . then I've definitely got to edit some things. ❜ A beat. ❛ No offense. ❜

[hcusetethras]

See , I really don't know how I'm going to outdo biting the headboard.

[veilbcund]

@hcusetethras sent : Given your own nature, are you really the one to judge?

Right. He should've known Varric wouldn't keep any commentary about his nature as a spirit to himself. Not for very long, at least. There's a light huff, it being the best sign that he's amused by how little time it took. And that such a revelation would lead to him mentioning it so casually.

"I would say so. I believe you were all so caught up on the pride aspect of things you forgot about wisdom."

The statement does sting, however. To know what he's turned into rather than what he wishes he remained is the more prevalent side of himself in the eyes of others. Even those he considered dear to him. He can't be surprised by it - he knows very well that he's certainly acted the part of one more than the other out of necessity - but it doesn't make the feeling any better.

[hcusetethras]

If you were to ask him , being judgmental was one of Solas’ stronger traits. Always judging those around him , and yet somehow he always manages to skip himself. One of his other traits is , well , lying. Or in this case he supposes it’s “ dancing around the truth. “ Never telling anyone exactly who or what he is. Ancient Elves being spirits , now that’s a surprise. But that’s Chuckles for you. Always full of surprises.

❛ I don’t know. Nothing about this seems very wise to me. Are you sure that you’re not the one that’s forgotten ? ❜ Attempting to bring down the Veil , the one thing keeping demons from running around wrecking havoc ? If that’s wise , then Varric must be a scholar. He’s sure there’s that spark of wisdom in him there somewhere. Not to mention how much of a hypocrite this must make him. Maker , Solas is a stubborn bastard. And yet here he stands , still trying to see if he can change his mind.

❛ You’re costing people their lives , Solas. Is this truly something you’re willing to see through to the end ? Is that what you think is wise ? ❜

[hcusetethras]

speak for yourself. i can write at least two five book romance series out of the shit i’ve heard around here.

[hcusetethras]

@dreadpawn continued from here.

Varric thinks on it for a while. Granted , he really didn’t need to. He already made up his mind when they texted him the first time. But making them wait makes it more fun.

[ txt : rook ] alright , fine. you’ve convinced me.

[ txt : rook ] are we meeting each other there , or do you want a ride ?

[dreadpawn]

As if Varric had any reason to say no. They know he's dragging his feet on purpose for no reason - they were already grabbing their keys while he deliberated for way too long.

[ txt: old man ] nah, i got it

[ txt: old man ] race you there

Followed immediately by an amendment, as though they can feel the spirit of Sergeant Mahariel snooping through their messages.

[ txt: old man ] just kidding i love following traffic laws. speed limits am i right

[hcusetethras]

What can he say ? He doesn’t know if he’ll have some last last minute business to attend to. He’d hate to get their hopes up.

[ txt : rook ] oh hell yeah

[ txt : rook ] now you’re talking.

By the time he’s gotten to his car ( he was motivated by the prospect of a friendly competition ) his phone dings again.

[ txt : rook ] nah kid. you’re not getting out of this that easily

[ txt : rook ] you said we were gonna race. no take backs.

[hcusetethras]

@peacevigilcnce asked :

❛ They’ve been spending a lot of time together, but are they too close? Its hard to say ❜ from emmrich .. gossip girls

Varric chuckles huskily , shaking his head. He'll give it to Rook , they sure did know how to find the most gossipy bunch on this side of Thedas. Not that he's judging , of course. If he didn't like gossip , then this conversation would've ended ages ago. But when everyone on the team likes gossip , well . . things probably spread a lot faster than one would like. And that means every relationship will be scrutinized the moment someone gets even a whiff of potential romance.

❛ Don't know if there's such a thing as too close. ❜ Maybe if they weren't on the same side , but how's that saying go ? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer ? His shoulders raise in a halfhearted shrug. ❛ If I know Rook , and I do , then either it is something romantic that they're never going to act on , or it's platonic in a " I would still get with them if they asked " way. Which - and you did not hear this from me - is what they think about almost this entire damned team. ❜