Headspace

a person's state of mind or mindset // time to think clearly or to be free from mental pressures.

[headspace28]

Low carb

It’s my first day of doing a low carb, intermittent fasting diet. Huhu. Izzo hard!!! But I gotta keep up and tell myself I’m proud of me for doing the right thing, finally. If I were outside, walking in my fitted skinny pants, or showing off my fat legs, I would just be regretting the days I didn’t do this. So aja, Julie!!!

Anyway, here I am, drinking the blackest of black coffee (that means no sugar coffee!) and I can see myself doing this longer. I mean, it’s not that bad. It’s not my first time, though. I’ve drunk black coffee yesterday, too. Haha. It really doesn’t taste that bad, maybe because of the brand? Yeah.

I managed to work out before eating, too. But I ate 1 and a half hour earlier than required cause my shift today starts at 9am.

After waking up, I watched Pulp Fiction but didn’t finish it as I had to work out, eat, and take a bath, too before 9. Aaaand read the brief sent to my email.

Grabe. What this diet can do to your body and brain. I feel like my head is filled with air. 💨

I’m trying to implement this thing either my brother or nephew told me about stress and exercise, or did I watch this on youtube? Anyway, it says that your body has to get used to stress and eventually that level of stress you got used to won’t stress you as much and then you can take more.

[charlizthron]

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) dir. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris

[headspace28]

This is where I started crying 😭❣️

[itismiel]

One of my favorite scenes!

I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy.

But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between.

If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt.

[headspace28]

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh. Accidentally found one of my favorite scenes in the first movie. 

Why do we take converstions for granted? Words coming out of our loved ones' mouths reveal more about themselves, their desires, yearning, goals, what makes them sad, if we choose to pay more attention.

[headspace28]

So, so good

[headspace28]

Homework

What if we were supposed to live our daily lives as if we were still in school? What if life was about assigning each day with homework to possibly get to our goals someday? What if we lived our daily lives doing these things we think are worthwhile of our time, deserving of our hours?

I won't probably skip all the other depressing triggers in my life, but at least, I know I am mostly making each day count.

This thought occurred to me one day when I wondered why I did so well in my school days and couldn't now. I thought maybe, my life felt more productive and fulfilling because of those homework, projects. So I never had any time to dwell on my problems. Thinking about and facing your problems is good, but only up to a certain point before it gets so depressing.

I noted in my computer that long term goals, long term stuff, or things that last are important. Like, if you’re gonna do something, its goals must be to make something last, or to buy something that’ll last longer. Like, if you have just a million, it’s just wiser to spend your money on a house or a lot, rather than 2 pieces of luxury bags.

I would probably assign myself activities related to these 3 main things:

My health/diet. I am currently 64kg and 28 years old. My BMI is under "overweight", 26.5, and my colleagues always remind me how fat I am. HAHA. So, my goal weight is 111 lbs. But it’s more realistic to start with 125 lbs. haha.

Hobbies Movies and books. On books, I’m currently reading Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray which is one of my favorites.

Learning something new Cooking (or basically, making my own food)

Other minor things I can think of that I must add to my daily homework:

Self care

Thinking happy and healthy thoughts

Looking at art

[headspace28]

[movie-gifs]

Before Sunrise (1995) dir. Richard Linklater

[headspace28]

It’s these deep, meaningful lines that made the Before Sunrise movie to my favorites. I have read in a group I joined in Facebook that she can’t finish watching even just the first movie cause it’s all conversations and stuff and she thinks it’s a romantic movie and she isn’t fond of that genre. But I told her it’s not purely romantic. Hmm. To prove that point, one must just go watch it, you know? But here are some screenshots from the movie where I really loved what they were saying. Loved and understood.

[headspace28]

Friendship

I think that friendship is both overrated and underrated.

How can I really call myself a friend if I don't know what makes that person sad, happy, excited? We are so quick to call other people friends, just as we are quick to qualify other people as our friends. That's why we get easily hurt because we let into our lives people who don't even know us.

And I have been so stupid to think that by adding people into my life, my life would be better, happier. I didn't realize that my life has already been good  without them.

I can think of not more than 20 people who deserve a spot in my life and the others are just extra.

“i don’t need anyone. i just need everyone and then some.”

[headspace28]

Fleeting

There are just some emotions that you are bound to feel for your whole life. Say, you ate so much food yesterday, so much that you constipated, are bloated, and felt so, so guilty. And yet, you think that that much fullness in your tummy will prevent you from going hungry the whole of the next day. Yet, it won't. Just like happiness. You think just because you've known well about happiness, that just because you've learned how to make your own happiness out of nothing, you'll never go sad anymore. But it comes. And sometimes, it's hard to get food on the table. That's why it's important to have persons who give you happiness and to be that person who gives happiness to others.

[headspace28]

On Choices

You don't realize that making your own choices are important until you've been consumed by all the poor choices you've made. It is important to know what you want or else you'll just go around making choices that are not even yours but are just influenced by what society told you is cool or important.

[headspace28]

If you keep telling yourself it doesn't make any sense, it makes a lot of sense. You just want it to stop making a lot of sense.

[headspace28]

Choices

Don't depend solely on wit or humor or intelligence. Most of the time, it is our choices that save us.

[headspace28]

Envy

I haven't really thought about it until now, but I realized I would never want anyone to envy me. You see, when you envy someone, you secretly wish they'd fail. I have felt it, envy, many times toward others, and I learned that I no longer want to keep that characteristic. I don't wanna wish bad things upon anyone anymore. I don't wanna be perceived as a good person and yet still have envy in me. There really is something good at the bottom.