new maladaptive daydream just dropped

[heartfullofwtf]

I’m feeling v optimistic today. I FINALLY caught my mouse terrorizer Jerry yesterday and today woke up to no new mouse droppings. Hallelujah! I’m sorry to all my varmint loving followers but please be assured that he died quickly and painlessly and I’m sure his extended family is still living happily in my walls.

But this has been such a huge stressor on me. I’ve been jumpy, not sleeping well, feeling cornered in my own home and I hate that feeling. So I feel so much relief and finally feel like I can move freely and have more motivation to get things done (I.e. moving into the bigger apartment next door which has AC)

I didn’t even realize I was afraid to start packing things and moving because I was lowkey terrified of picking something up and finding Jerry and co under it 😂😭😭😭 Co may still be in the walls but I will naively and optimistically believe they are leaving me alone and staying out of my things unless proven otherwise *knocks on wood for my peace of mind*

[heartfullofwtf]

My dog would never forgive me for getting a cat but I’m tired of these damn mice!! My neighbor moved out 2 weeks ago and I s2g they must’ve come over here 😭😭

[heartfullofwtf]

I’m slowly working on embracing my authentic self which does not enjoy social events and doesn’t have to put on a show for them. Recently I’ve decided to channel my uncle in these moments. I remember him as always being at family events but he kept to himself mostly and everyone was fine with it—he didn’t have to be outgoing or social, it just mattered that he was THERE. Quiet but there, sitting in the recliner in the living room even when everyone else was in the dining room/kitchen/outside. Will talk to you if you talk to him, will engage when he’s interested and just sit there watching the game when not. It helped a lot. I was able to stand with my spine straight and head high and be okay with just standing there since I didn’t want to make conversation with strangers.

Thanks uncle Joel

[heartfullofwtf]

So it’s been approximately a week and a half of living in a building by myself for the first time in my life (like sharing no walls) and yesterday I realized for the first time that I can like…..blast my music. Like. BLAST it. So I did 🥹🥹🥹 it was fun. Scream singing 2000s pop punk. Blessed.

[cansu-m]

[carryonlikewedidbefore]

A sword is the perfect gender neutral gift.

[tolkien-queer]

- aragorn

[carlandrea]

I hate it when people are like “gimli was given a gift that was denied Even to Feanor” as if Feanor is anywhere near Gimli’s league. Like if you just compare them Gimli is simply a better person in basically every way—like he’s sexier. He’s polite. He doesn’t go on random murderous rampages because he wants other peoples shit.

[heartfullofwtf]

PSA for anyone with an aging dog who needs joint supplements: do not fuck around with zesty paws or any of that cutesy shit. The Nutramax Cosequin is the only way to go. I’m telling you my dog started showing signs of joint pain like 6 years or so ago and I got her started on that and she’s doing GREAT 6 years later. I switched over to zesty paws at one point cause i was broke af and started noticing problems again. Went back on the cosequin and she got better.

(When I say issues I just mean she was tripping on her walks. Obviously this won’t cure aging but it does slow it down and supports what they have left. Idk what else it does from a biological standpoint but I’m telling you, I noticed a difference between the two supplements and have stuck with the Cosequin ever since. It’s actually very worth the price cause one bottle lasts 6 months since she takes a half dose. She is absolutely clumsier now than she was 6 years ago but I don’t even want to think about where we would be if I had stuck with a different brand)

Anyway I’m basically an expert now

[heartfullofwtf]

My sweet precious dog who will be 17 this year is now officially on a new prescription diet and supplements for stage 1-2 kidney failure. Can I just say something though? I’m literally not even bothered because this girl is gonna be 17 years old this year!!!!!! I’ve spent the last 5 years thinking every little tummy ache is the end and now I’m just like…. Okay, let’s get her on this new food and supplements (not even a routine change, she already takes joint supplements and has been on a different rx diet for several years). She still gets zoomies, still jumps for joy, still is the happiest girl in the world. I can’t even be bothered. I would MUCH rather this than a sudden grave illness. This way we can monitor her labs and energy and everything and I can slowly get ready which lowkey I feel like I have been anyway for the past 5 years.

She’s a total mutt so as soon as I noticed the first signs of aging I was like ohhhhh no here we go. Cause I didn’t know what her life expectancy would be. But she’s still fucking kicking it bro!!!!!!!! So I’m not scared anymore. I’ve been scared for years. Now I’m just happy that she’s starting to barely show the first signs of old age illness in a way that we can 1) monitor, 2) slow down, and 3) isn’t causing her pain/distress. She’s still my happy girl.

[heartfullofwtf]

I don’t know what kinda luck I have but I now have two honest, good mechanics in 2 different cities and I found them both on my first try. There is no greater blessing than to tell a guy “look, just tell me what my car needs”

[buttpoems]

[wynwicket]

This made me feel something <3

[thebibliosphere]

Why must I be awake.

[thebibliosphere]

#another victim of the woke agenda

@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?

[natalieironside]

I wish it paid more

[thebibliosphere]

Honestly? Valid.

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

Clip of Lucy Dacus on the Las Culturistas podcast.

[teh-nos]

oh no my pornography is turning into an angst-filled character study

[renee561]

Oh no my angst-filled character study is turning into pornography

[evilphrog]

[allpiesforourown]

[heartfullofwtf]

I sense my mutuals are not amused by jokes about murdering mice in my house. You should all therefore be pleased to know that no mice have yet fallen for their traps and are still getting into my shit and pooping on my desk at night 😭😭

If it helps just know I do feel a teensy bit sad for having to murder them but please keep in mind there is no such thing as catch and release out here! They just come right tf back. And also they are terrorizing my peace of mind which is a capital offense

[heartfullofwtf]

Good morning, this morning I had the horrifying realization that the reason I don’t like cooking and baking at home even though I loved it when I worked at a cute lil cafe is because *gags* I loved being around other people while I did

[heartfullofwtf]

Gonna start a list of funny misused idioms I read in fanfic (I’m not immune it’s just sometimes they’re really funny)

Today’s find: “[Character] looks like a fresh cucumber”

2 idioms smushed together and had a fresh looking cucumber-shaped child.