heartwithabeat

"Who knows these things?"

[heartwithabeat]

—"Can we go where no one else goes; can i know what no one else knows; can we fall in love in the moonlight?"

[heartwithabeat]

Oh, it died within me

It is emotion that died

That died and left me with no poetry

No poetry, no prose, no words, no release

No release from anything is needed now

What is needed now is found and loved

I cannot write anymore because i cannot spill ink

Spilling ink is wasted paper, and i have a more valuable keeper

A valuable keeper whom i pour my heart into

Pouring my heart of love because there is no sorrow to give

No sorrow to give; just a spark that lives

That lives on and makes me a breather

A breather that inhales love and exhales fear

[heartwithabeat]

~Unspoken Endings~

I don't ask about you anymore

I don't wait for you anymore

I don't cry for you

I don't need you and somehow, I never did

I don't do those things anymore

Not because I don't love you

I always have, I do and I always will

It's a promise I made to myself in peace

Not in need-

Something I remember when I need to console myself

I found you when I wasn't looking

Not when I was craving and aching

I have loved you with my heart

But I have taught myself to leave you in my mind

It is the need of free love

To let you breathe your own air

The one that doesn't smell like me

Remind you of me

The one you don't have to share with me

The one that doesn't fill my love in your lungs

A new air that is only yours, and you will never breathe with another again

Your hands don't reach for mine

Your eyes don't meet mine

Your face is a memory

Something I haven't had the pleasure of admiring

In an era as long as the 'forever' I thought we could have

Now, you just won't unfold yourself to me

It's a kind of love that I'd been dreaming of

Since the day I knew you

The kind where we were warm because we were each others light

The kind where we were alive because we were the others' breath

The kind where we were happy, for we were our own muses

But now there is only one breath that is breathed, one light that survives and one muse that roams the emptiness that fills everywhere

These are you

Because these are not me

My breath, my light, my life, my eyes are all for you

They knew this when they found you

I know this because I've lost you

To freedom, for ever more

Because to love is to let go

[soft-lovely]

lovers in the garden

[heartwithabeat]

Something so unknown to me

Kindness, that was never shown to me

Something that has grown on me

This weight that has flown from me

Something you do to me

I live now, and it isn't just for me.

[heartwithabeat]

What isn't alright isn't always terrifying, you know? The sky hasn't fallen apart yet, and the ground hasn't slid from underneath yet. Just wait on that grey, cloud-heavy horizon between the storm and the sea; i do see that one ray of light that will bring a better dawn just for you, i know so.

[heartwithabeat]

There are more ways to feel something. Pain isn't it, you know? Come to me and lay in my lap, i will caress your hair, and then tell me if you feel something. I will kiss your cheek and tell you that everything is alright, will that help? Pull me closer and watch me stay, will that make you feel safe, make you feel me?

[heartwithabeat]

I have been looking. I have been looking for the words.

I love you.

As the pearls are to a sea: precious,

As dew drops are to a leaf on this cold morning: warmth,

As the horizon is to the sun: home,

As breath is to a soul: life.

This is all that you are to me. And if i love you any more, you will be to me, what sleep is to the grieving. You will be to me, what a pulse is to my heart-beating. You will be the salt in my tears and the delicious taste in my mouth and the reason i can feel, the reason i know what love is.

[heavensghost]

December

[heartwithabeat]

Who has ever loved you, in the way that your mother held you in her arms to give you all the warmth she never had? Have you ever been told that you were enough and that you would always be forgiven? Have you ever been loved like there is no tomorrow? Have you ever loved like they'd stop loving you back tomorrow, like you have only the day to give it your all and make them a verse in every poem you've ever written?

If not, have you ever, truly, had love?

[heartwithabeat]

"I had been lost to you, Sunlight.

And flew like a moth to you, Sunlight,

Oh, Sunlight."

Sunlight: Hozier.

[heartwithabeat]

"It's January. And it still rains, because even this new year cannot get over the heaviness of ages of moving silence, worldly dread and broken hearts."

[heartwithabeat]

I am asleep here, some where far away from reality. Not even a dream can reach me here in this carefully crafted solace of a blank mind. Yet it doesn't take a moment for you to enter my thoughts the second I am nudged lightly from my still. And now, suddenly this heart sings your favourite songs. This hand warms up because it remembers how yours fits. This mind re-runs every precious image i have captured of you in my head. But what i couldn't capture is the soul in your eyes, your lively eyes when i see you living and breathing. At this point in time i am down a rabbit hole, and there is also one here, in my soul. I wait for my piece to return to me, it's with you. Then i realise i cannot wait to see you because this longing is a sign that i miss you, mellow and urgently.

[heartwithabeat]

I'm searching and seething, there is a flame in my breathing

These wildfires are healing, passion is that feeling

Softness isn't my thing, but my heart needs to sing

It's a battle in the ring, i take one from my own fist- it stings

These things I haven't sung, these words that choke my lungs

The door is open so I run, to trust life means my head to the gun

These are things i haven't done, these thoughts are no fun

But I love you too much and it's in your eyes, my Sun

And there will never be goodbyes, my Love.

[heartwithabeat]

"It's getting colder. I fear the growing hunger of my dying fire- that all warmth shall be lost in the wantoness."

[heartwithabeat]

All the answers,

To what was; a time I used to fear

Are now in the shadows of some flowers

These things that nobody can hear

Here, I wait for you to come around

In the quiet, I can hear my heartbeat's sound

Hands that kiss my skin like moonlight

I melt into this gleaming smile

Spilling my thoughts into the dark of the night

All I wish is that we had more time

There is a part of me that I've found

In a part of you; to which I'm bound.

[heartwithabeat]

I wouldn't know where to start;

As joy is distilled into my heart,

Among the sweetest sounds, we're making art.

These times are meant to stay,

But that was the beginning of the lane.

And now, it will be dark again.