It's warm. Everything's good. I've got the life I've always dreamed of. All because you're here.
Peter Parker, my best friend.
Loving you is almost too easy, y'know? You've got that life-saving smile, laughter for the soul, one of the smartest brains ever, the kindest heart, and the strongest spirit ever. Everything about you is so perfect.
Another one of the best things about you is that I can trust you with myself in a way I can't with other people. Being able to depend on you knowing we won't hurt each other has changed my life. If it weren't for you, things would be so different.
Also, I'll be honest. I dream about you. More specifically, I dream about holding you closer than anyone ever has, kissing you, holding hands, waking up together in the morning, and laying next to each other. I can't seem to stop having the same dream every night about a life with you. Is that embarrassing?
I hope not. I hope one day my feeling reaches you and you feel the same.
I just can't help loving you, Peter Parker.
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It's cold. It's all gone to shit. My dreams have been crushed. All because of my dad's death.
I’m sorry to everyone.
As for loving you, it's no good. I don't have what you want and I can't provide what you need. The distance between us grows and I've let it poison me. Now all I can do is try to kill you and hope that kills me instead. Why did everything about you have to be so perfect?
I almost wish I hadn't trusted you. That and depending on you when clearly our closeness was just a hallucination of mine. Things could've been different if it weren't for my dad, you, and me being who we are.
God, I still dream about you. I never really stopped. Every time I hit you, push you; every time I hurt you I think about my dreams. I just couldn't stop thinking about them. Isn't that embarrassing?
I hope you never feel the same. I hope that you and MJ are happy because you love each other.
I can't stop loving you, even if you are Spider-Man.
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It's wet because of the rain. My armor is broken and my weapons are all gone. Which means I have no way of killing Spider-Man. Sorry, dad.
And Spider-Man—Peter, you're crying.
I tried to kill you. Why are you crying? I never did anything for you once I stopped thinking of you as my friend. I never let you close the distance because I felt hurt and jealous. There's no way you could've helped me because I simply wouldn't let you help me.
But I can't stop you now. You're holding me close, the closest you have in years. My head is on your shoulder and your hand is pressing against my abdomen. Your suit’s red, but we both know that I'm bleeding out.
I'm dying and there's nothing anyone can do. So, I just want to keep looking at you because I know this will be the last time. Even if it gives my feelings away after all this time.
And Peter, I think, even now, your smile could save me.
One is the sixth prince never meant to take the throne and the other an enemy assassin. When a relationship forms between two people that continuously lie, scheme and hurt each other, love turns toxic and becomes a cruel weapon. The line between love and hate blurs as they become trapped by circumstance and duty.
This series.... 😭 We refused to watch live since we were scared it could end sad... and then it did. After getting spoilers, we just couldn't make ourselves watch it even though everyone swore it was worth the pain! Fast forward to our terrible choice to let tumblr pick a series from ones we kept bumping and Kill To Love won in a landslide. So we forced ourselves to finally watch. After initially crashing out, we have to admit that we think this was a really good story and we are glad we didn't miss it.
This story is a full tragedy and these two were doomed from the start. But even though we knew where it was going, we found it impossible not to get invested. These characters just worked well for us and we wished they could have a happy ending even though we knew it was impossible. Things were too toxic and too broken and we are actually glad they didn't try to wash that all away with a happy ending. We are obsessed over how these characters mirror each other. Light spoiler: One regrets nothing and would make the same choices again. The other regrets everything and wishes he chose differently. One couldn't let go of duty and the other couldn't let go of love. They both lie and hurt each other over and over again and it's both well done and devastating to watch. The larger story could have been stronger and better developed, but overall, it gave us enough to sink our teeth into and feel satisfied. If you feel like being wrecked by tragic lovers doomed to hurt each other, this one was good. Bring tissues.
Ending: 😭😭😭 This was a tragedy.
Tears: Even armed with spoilers, this hurt!
Main Couple: queer
Side Couple: queer... tiny side bl couple and hint at gl romance
Romance Scenes: even with proof of sex, these scenes were short and sweet with very little spice
Flavor of Scenes: vanilla with sprinkles... tiny bit of extra color thrown in
Heads up: suicide, toxic and abusive, captivity, depression, violence
After overcoming his insecurities Roger would definitely be a dad who play wrestles with Jack.
Jack would 100% be down for it. He's the one begging Roger to roughhouse with him after all >:D
And ofc there's nothing that can go wrong! No, pfft! Definitely not some kind of accident that brings all of Rogers insecurities back.
Naaah, that would be silly :)
OHOHOHOHH anon I LOVE the way you think
Roger watches the way Hendrick and Jack interact, the way Hendrick ruffles his hair, play fights with him (Hendrick gives him a bunch of pointers on technique), and in general is just willing to get playfully rough with the boy. Bucky tends to do the same as well when they visit Mabel's family, though much less than Hendrick does, so eventually Roger confides in Bucky on how he's able to do it. With Bucky's pointers about staying in control of the situation the whole time, Roger has sort of a renewed confidence.
Jack has a lot of energy spontaneously, he'll go from being relaxed to running around pretty randomly. Since he doesn't get out much, his energy just sort of stacks until he does something with it. So, Roger sees him and decides to ask if he wants to roughhouse, to which Jack is INCREDIBLY excited... little drabble under the cut...
"Really? But you always say no!" He exclaimed, his eyes widening with sheer excitement. Roger laughed gently.
"We can try it this one time. We'll see how it goes." Roger permits, wiggling his fingers before setting his hand down on the table. He just needed to stay focused on Jack's body language and movement the whole time to prevent injury. There was no way it was as hard as Bucky made it seem. "How... How do you want me to go about this?" He asked, trying to figure out the best way to start. Usually it was just a tackling match until somebody gave up, which was usually Jack, but Roger wasn't sure that was the best way to go. Jack looked away for a moment, chewing his lip.
"Oh, I know!" He said when he was struck with an idea. "Maybe you can chase me?" He phrased it as a question, and Roger considered it, looking at his fingers. He shrugged his shoulders slightly, bending his fingers experimentally. The calluses left from woodcarving were probably smooth enough that they wouldn't scuff Jack up.
"Sure. I'll give you a headstart." He agreed, his smile widening. He hadn't done anything like this since he was a child playing in his father's garden. His smile faltered slightly at the thought that he hadn't truly changed, as he was still delighted to pretend he was terrorizing a human, but he refocused the moment he caught Jack starting into a run in his peripherals. "3..." He once again flexed his fingers, just to keep them nimble. "2..." A laugh burst from Jack's throat as he glanced back over his shoulder to look for the giant's hand. "1..." Roger tapped the table twice with his index finger, happy to see Jack so happy. "Here I come!" He cheered at a reasonable volume before allowing his fingers to chase the teen across the table. He tried to make them coordinate to almost resemble a spider running, but he was sure they were a little too clumsy for that. He gained on Jack quickly, bent his fingers to allow for some sort of warning before trying to pounce on the boy. Jack tumbled to the tabletop and rolled just underneath his fingers, laughing gleefully.
"Too slow!" He taunted. Roger's smile widened. The words were permission to make the game harder. Clearly Jack was capable of holding his own here, so the giant might as well make the game a little more fun for himself. Surely this wouldn't be a mistake. He began to lessen his focus on Jack's body language, upping how fast his fingers crawled at the boy from across the table. This time when he pounced, one of his fingers clipped Jack's arm as the boy dodged, causing the teen to stumble a little before quickly getting back to running. Roger focused solely on the smile, and the way Jack seemed to favor his arm went unnoticed.
"Not as nimble as you think you are, are you?" Roger teased, not even giving the boy time to rest before charging his hand at him again. This time, Jack had almost no time to try and dodge as the giant's palm slammed into his chest and whacked him forcibly onto the tabletop. The boy's back hit the ground first, knocking the wind out of him. Then his head hit the floor, and black spots danced around the edges of his eyes for a moment or two. Roger laughed lightly, not noticing the way Jack's eyes rolled back for a moment or the way he gasped desperately for air. "How will you get out of this one?" He laughed, leaning closer to the table with the intent to really scare him this time. But he froze the instant he saw Jack's pained expression. His hand came away as though he had touched something hot, before floating back for just a moment. "Jack?" Roger's voice wavered. The teen flinched, and the giant backed away quickly.
"I-I'm okay." Jack said first, rubbing the back of his head and trying to take deeper breaths. "Ow..." He mumbled, and Roger's heart nearly stopped. This was bad. Incredibly bad.
"Where does it hurt?" He asked quickly, impatient to hear an answer. His hands hovered over Jack, waiting for the teen to say something, anything, but he just kept trying to catch his breath and keep himself from flopping over with dizziness. Roger felt his eyes begin to sting, and he quickly worked to try and push the tears back in with the heels of his hands. It wasn't supposed to go this way. He'd never seen Hendrick ever really hurt the boy, and Bucky never seemed to do damage like this either. Sure, Jack would walk away with some sort of bruising, but there was always some sort of strange comradery in it all. Hendrick would help him up at the end, complimenting all the things he had done well. Bucky would offer a reward, usually food or some sort of interesting trinket Jack seemed interested in. But Roger had nothing to make it better. He had nothing to justify the pain Jack had just gone through. A tear escaped from his eye and hit the tabletop. Followed by another, and another, until Roger finally decided to cover his whole face.
"It-It's okay, I-I'm fine." Jack noted, groaning slightly. Roger winced beneath the cover of his hands. He couldn't believe he had let himself act like that, especially after he had assumed he had changed. But no, he had enjoyed every part of it. Had he... Had he enjoyed harming Jack? He jolted up, his chair scraping against the ground loudly.
"I-I'm going to go get Josey." He attempted to flee the scene quickly, trying desperately to wipe the tears away. He couldn't be here right now, not like this. Jack needed someone stable, someone healing, someone-
"Wait!" Jack stood from his spot on the table, wobbling but jogging to reach the edge of the table. He looked scared. "I-I'm sorry, I-"
"Shit, no, no, don't apologize to me!" Roger whipped around quickly, probably too quickly considering Jack flinched back. He pinched his eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath through his nose. He wasn't supposed to curse in front of Jack, he reminded himself. He had already scolded both Hendrick and Bucky for doing so. "Please, no, don't apologize to me!" He had hardly calmed down from before as he approached the table. This was bad, he needed to stop, he needed to leave, he needed to get-! No. What he needed right now was to try and calm down. He took a deep breath, squeezing his hands as he breathed in, and letting go as he breathed out. Looking at Jack's face again, he re-evaluated his guess at the teen's expression. It wasn't fear. It was concern. Concern for him, the man who was supposed to be the responsible adult taking care of him.
"I-I didn't mean to ruin the game, I was having fun, really, I was!" Jack said, voice wavering as he looked away. Roger kept hold of the word the teen had chosen to use. Ruin. It was a sentiment the boy had expressed before. The giant furrowed his eyebrows, exhaling through his nose.
"No, Jack. You didn't ruin anything." He held firm, moving cautiously to sit back down in his chair again. Running away like that never did him any good, even if it felt easier than admitting that he was insecure about this sort of stuff. "I'm the adult. I should know when what's happening is too much for you." Roger explained, watching Jack take a few steps back so he wouldn't have to crane his neck quite as much. He was the one who had to be hyper-aware of every detail, because just a flick of his wrist could end catastrophically for Jack.
"But... you..." Jack took a breath, moving from his wobbly legs to sit down again. He turned his head away from the giant shamefully. "I know sometimes you can't... hear me too well. Or see me too well." He admitted softly, unfortunately proving his own point as Roger needed to think about what might've been said and process it before responding.
"That... is true, but-"
"Then I need to be better about telling you when I'm hurt! Or even just when I'm tired!" Jack interrupted, raising his voice but not to the point of yelling. Roger smiled, appreciating the thought and Jack's passion to make things better.
"That's a good suggestion, Jack." He affirmed the idea first, but he knew that this particular one wouldn't have fixed the situation. "But I think that maybe we just can't mess around the way you do with your uncle." He replied, and Jack frowned.
"But why not?" He asked genuinely, seeming to wilt. Roger's heart ached for the boy, but needed to put his foot down.
"Because it'll only ever end with you being hurt." He was a fool to think otherwise, and he was sure of that now. He was too strong, and yet not strong willed enough to focus and ensure Jack's safety. He cupped his hands around the teens back softly, pushing him forward. "Are you still hurting?" He asked, and Jack looked away guiltily. He didn't answer. Roger's heart sank. "Do you think... you'll need a doctor?" He asked tentatively, almost not wanting to hear the answer. It would mean he had harmed the teen incredibly badly, and he really didn't want that to be the case.
"I dunno." Jack slurred quietly. He was back to mumbling, almost closing himself off from the giant. Roger felt his eyes begin to burn again, and he took a deep breath to try and keep himself from crying again.
"Jack, I... I'm so sorry. I really didn't want to hurt you." He began, then took another breath as he felt his hands begin to tremble. "But I need you to tell me what hurts so I can fix it." Jack seemed to perk up.
"I need to be better about telling you when I'm hurt." He repeated to himself, before continuing. "My... My arm hurts a little, but my head hurts the most. I couldn't breathe for a little bit but I can now." He admitted, rubbing at the spot where Roger's finger had caught on him.
"What part of your head, Jack?" Roger asked, thinking back to what he had done during the roughhousing session. He had practically slammed Jack against the table, that had probably caused the head injury and the temporary trouble with breathing. He furrowed his brows, wishing he really knew just how forceful it felt to the boy.
"The back. My vision was all spots for a little bit but I can see fine now." The boy detailed, rubbing his eyes for a moment. Roger nodded, maneuvering one of his hands in front of Jack. Josey had taught him something a long time ago, some sort of strategy for determining the severity of a head injury, but now he found himself struggling to remember it. Jack reached out in front of himself, leaning forwards until both of his hands were resting against Roger's index finger.
"Are you having trouble getting up?" The giant asked, watching as Jack leaned against him. The boy shook his head. "Do you... want ice or anything?" Again, the boy shook his head before propping it on Roger's finger. The giant sighed gently as Jack stared up at him.
"So... now that you know I'm fine, we can wrestle again, right?" Jack smiled up at him mischievously, cocking his head to the side a little bit. Roger sighed deeply.
"Jack..." He began tiredly, and the boys smile faded away quickly as he leaned back.
Btw I know I never spoke about the ending of good omens but thsts because I'm so split on it. I love this show and I LOVE the way it was heading. Even season 2 meant a lot to me even if it was different. But the way that it ended and how the message could've been expressed but wasn't just hurt me a bit. I liked season 3 but.. and it hurts to say it.. I didn't love it. It made me super emotional at the moment and I was glad but the more I look into it, I get upset. I can't even read fanfiction because it hurts knowing that's not how it actually ended and also some of the "ideas" for a better ending do sorta ignore the message and point so I'd rather not. I love this show and I will continue to indulge in it but it's upsetting and the Fandom has been total shit because of it.
I'm not an asanthony hater though, love those cuties.
I lost my job yesterday. I really, really enjoyed it, but I had kind of been expecting it. Sales are really hard to make right now. I was trying my best not to feel so hopeless about it.
But then I came home and saw TADC finale, and it broke my heart while holding it together, and I don't think words can do justice to the way it made me feel.
Gooseworx reminded us that even though an ending may be sad, it can still be beautiful, and you can still find happiness afterwards. I'm grateful to her and everyone else that worked on this. I needed it more than I knew, and I'm sure that there are many others that feel the same.
