& you know what it actually IS lifechanging to smile at strangers & say please & thank you & goodmorning & compliment someones outfit & help someone in need & be more accepting of loving other people just because they are other people!!!
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all will had ever known was you as his winger, his best friend, and then suddenly, you're none of those things. as you both navigate adolescence, coming together and breaking apart, does will finally come to understand that the burning desire in his heart can only be quelled by you
wc: 10.8k
tags! wsh x childhood friends to lovers!reader, ANGST, so much angst you might want to throw your phone away, hockey player!reader, miscommunication/no communication, will smith hockey the biggest loser of the century speedrun, you’re both childhood bruins fans, timeline: kids to high school to college, macklin mention, no use of y/n
warnings! descriptions of reader getting hit and bullied by other boys as a kid, mentions of blood, misogynistic language used, lots of curse words, alcohol consumption, BRIEF mention of masturbation (like genuinely just alluding to it it’s not descriptive)
a/n! i use so much repetition (sorry). this is LOOSELY based on like six lines from nettles. i didnt want it to be that gut-wrenching. please read my dumb fanfiction about will smith hockey and it also became feminist kinda. i did not play hockey growing up so im sorry if there are inaccuracies
p/s: I make up a random guys name for the plot. take the name and interpret it how you want to :) or not, you can hate me
The thing about Will Smith was that at one point, he wasn’t just the precious blue-eyed starboy of the NHL, touted as this mysterious young man with pearly white teeth and a real good knack for the game. He was groomed to look the perfect part of an all-american hockey player: flushed cheeks, blond hair, dirty mouth, and a borderline narcissism only found in the freedom land.
For a time, he wasn't all this. He used to be just yours.
Sprawled out on your front lawn, watching the fireworks on the fourth of july, there was a time you two had no worries in the world. He was your line partner. You both used to show up to practice at the same time, tying your skates shoulder to shoulder on the bench. He used to have dinners at your house more often than not. There was an extra chair on the dining table right next to yours.
You joined a U8 boys team when you were six. You were inexplicably good. The girls’ team closest to you barely had games scheduled. Lack of teams in the area. The boy’s team traveled, and they played in tournaments, and that excited you. Besides, on your first day of tryouts, you met Will. He was all wide-eyed when you first talked to him, like you were some four-leaf clover in a valley of threes.
Since then, you two couldn’t be separated. You loved most of all being able to nerd out about hockey with him. You’d go down to the sports store and buy packs of hockey cards to unbox as you ate frozen yogurt in the sweltering heat of summer. You had a built-in friend who happily obliged when you wanted to play street hockey in twenty-degree weather. You were both really bad at math and needed a tutor. He talked about the NHL with you as if it were possible you could be drafted.
He just thought the same way as you, which felt so achingly sweet and innocent. That was why it was so hard to let it all go.
The first time you were called a bitch on the ice, you were nine. The first jab of the knife to your stomach. It shocked you, and you came off that period in tears. The kid probably didn’t know what it meant, only that he knew it would hurt you, that he would feel for those few seconds on top of the world. You let it sting the rest of the day, then decided you wouldn’t let it upset you. You would be the bigger person.
That role was so hard. It all just got worse as the years went by. The knife twisted, got stuck deeper beneath your ribs. Different variations of the word bitch or whore would be muttered under feeble breaths. They were echoes of the words those boys would hear their fathers call other women. At some point, you became numb to it. You were faster than them — Will always reminded you of that — so you would simply score instead. It made you feel good. It helped even more when Will celebrated with you, pulling you in a sweaty hug, your helmets bashing, and you’d have to shove him away because he was too busy smiling that bunny-toothed smile at you to notice the other three players on the ice coming to share in the celebration.
You didn’t want your friendship to ever change. You wanted to go to the rink and push him around and score goals with him on your line. You wanted to eat sliced apples at intermission and whack him across the head with your stick when he said a bad word or kept his mouth open too long. You wanted him to still see you as a boy, as someone equal and no lesser than.
You’re forced to quit when another boy punches you clean across the nose after you score at the age of 12. You were skating towards the bench, taking your cage off prematurely, and then it happens. Blood immediately spurts down your face, forcing its metallic taste into your mouth.
Nothing monumental came out of it.
It needed to be kept quiet.
His parents were so apologetic. They cried to the league’s president that their little boy didn’t fully understand what he was doing. He was just emulating what he saw in the big leagues. You’re forced to sit across from him and his pig nose and dirty hair. His eyes never lifted from the floor as he apologized. One of the worst apologies you’ve ever heard. Just a sorry is all he can muster, and then everyone thinks it’s okay. So it’s okay. You won’t make a big deal out of it.
“I can hurt him for you,” Will says, with large eyes, so worried when he comes over to your house the next day. You’re lying down on the rug in the living room while both sets of parents whisper about grown-up stuff down the hallway.
“No!” You say, turning your body to his. Your voice is all stuffy because your nose is still blocked — it will be for a couple of weeks. You’re already starting to get that purple swelling on your under eye, and the redness on the bridge of your nose has not subsided yet. The only thing that’s gotten better since your trip to the ER is that you weren’t bleeding anymore. “That’s embarrassing. Please don’t.”
“The refs broke us up before I could do anything.” Will needs to get a haircut. His hair falls over his eyes.
You gawk at him, “What?”
“I tried to get him, you know, but I wasn’t fast enough.” Your vision went black so fast when it happened, you never got to see or hear the aftermath. You didn’t think about what happened then, in the background, but Will, with his long limbs and prepubescent voice, tried to start a fight with your perpetrator.
You lie flat down again, staring at the ceiling. He does the same as you both let the silence fill the room.
“But when we play them again, it’s over.” He says abruptly.
“I won’t be there. I’m not playing anymore.”
Will jumps up, “Are you joking?”
“That’s what they’re talking about,” you gesture over to the sounds of your parents talking to his. “I can’t anymore. You guys will be too strong for me soon. Better to leave now.”
“But you’re our best winger!” Will can’t believe it, like it never occurred to him that you’d have to quit. You knew all along, you had just wanted another year at least. You wanted to end it on your own terms, but alas, this was the way the tide turned. You just look at him because you don’t know what to say. He looks back. “I’ll kill him.”
“Stop!” You hit him in the arm.
“I’m serious.” He puffs his chest out, hands on his hips. You laugh, getting up to hit him with a throw pillow from the couch. He lets you beat him up with that soft thing, he thinks, because he wants to feel the quiet punishment he deserved for not protecting you then. For it all spiraling out of control, while he stood there, dumbstruck, as you held your hand to your nose. Blood was dripping down your forearm in a small puddle by your feet, he remembers, tainting the ice forever with the last of your innocence.
—
When you’re thirteen, Will decides to stop making an effort to see you at lunch time or sit by you in class. You’re off the team, so you weren’t part of the immediate group he ‘needed’ to be around. Now that there are no afternoon hockey practices, there’s not much reason to talk about professional teams with him at school, either, especially when he was trying to fit in with the other guys.
You guess you didn’t help either. You busied yourself with girl friends, forcing yourself to pick up new hobbies, trying to be feminine. Maybe trying to be the person everyone wanted you to be. Besides, you didn’t want to get confused and start liking Will romantically in all the chaos that puberty rushed in, so spending as little time with him was good, you thought, in the long run. It felt like rebelling a bit when every girl in school was in love with him. That was all a facade, though, because at the end of the day, you’d write about him in your diary, locked with a key and hidden underneath those hockey card binders you left to dust.
Hockey became an afterthought. You tried out for a U16 team at the age of 14, when you stopped having flashbacks and nightmares of the fight. You cried on the way home because your limbs felt heavy and you declared you hated the sport. Not necessarily because you were playing with other girls now, but because it wasn’t fun. Every pass felt like a chore, every backcheck so mentally exhausting you wanted to break your stick in half and walk down that hallway. If you didn’t get any goals in a game, you curled up in your bed and didn’t talk to anyone the rest of the day.
Most girls in sports stop playing at that age. You knew that. You weren’t going to be the outlier as much as your younger self would have wanted you to be. There’s so little hope. Not much to dream about. Men get everything. They can dream of million-dollar salaries, of luxury sports cars, of pretty girlfriends, and it’s dangled so close to their heads they can reach out, grab it, and make it true.
You think it came into focus sitting on that hospital bed, napkins stuck in your nose, dried blood staining your neck, doctors touching and prodding at you as you try not to wince. As you try to be the big girl hockey taught you to be. Even though you were only twelve, you realized the world wasn’t made for you. So you gave up on that dream. When you think back on it now as an adult, you don’t blame yourself. You blame everyone else. You don’t blame Will, though. He tried to be there until he realized you gave up on your own, and then there was nothing else he could do.
—
He actually comes up to you one day in the first month of high school, voice still a bit shaky, tall but not as tall as you know he’ll be, and all tanned skin from the summer, asking if you were going to join the women’s team at the school. There had never been a women’s program until that year, and he thinks you’d be fucking great. Really. He goes out of his way because he wants you to keep playing. Because maybe, despite what you thought, he still cared.
It’s not like you aren’t friends. You still saw him at neighborhood barbecues, saw him playing street hockey as you walked your dog, maybe managed a couple of polite words to each other, but it was just different now. He was sort of a revered figure. Everyone knew he was going to leave eventually, go and join a development team. He was the talk of Boston suburbia.
“Eh, I don’t think so.” You say, cramming your huge history textbook into your locker. “It’s a big commitment.”
“I don’t understand. You loved hockey.”
“Key word: loved, Will.”
He purses his lips, reels back in whatever he was going to say.
“Just wanted to let you know is all.”
“I know, the coach already tried to recruit me.”
“Why aren’t you playing then?” He whines. His eyes are darting all over your face, scanning that default look of annoyance you used to have when he’d slide the puck between your legs or pull the one player you wanted in those card sets. “You’re so good.”
The compliment is not in the past tense. Your heart bloomed. Then you quickly shut it down. You force that lump in your throat to go away. “Not really.” Is all you say before you see your friend over his shoulder and you give him a hasty goodbye.
—
You only hear about Michigan and the NTDP through social media. There’s a goodbye party, but you don’t go. He’ll come back in the summer. It’s not like he’s dying or anything. You tell yourself this.
Until Sunday the following week, he’s at your door bright and early asking for you. You ask your mom if she’s being serious. You wade over to the front door, nerves prickling your cool skin.
“Hi.” You’re wearing a boston bruins t-shirt two sizes too large and long, formless gray sweats. His heart almost jumps out of his chest.
“Hey.” He says back, “Did you hear?” He must have been out for a run before the day got too hot. There are beads of sweat running down his neck. He’s wearing a gray sleeveless tank and white shorts, and the juts of muscle along his thighs make your mind go blank. He’s still partly gasping for air, pretty pink tongue running over his dry lips.
“Yeah,” you reply sheepishly, rubbing a hand over your cheek, trying to pretend like you don’t care about Will standing two feet away, acting like he has no idea what he looks like. He actually doesn’t, which makes you more annoyed. He was still as dumb as a rock when it came to things non hockey-related.
He stutters. You’re so pretty. You’ve grown into your face so well. You still have that dusting of color on your cheeks. It’s always there when he’s around.
“I’ll be back next summer.” He breaths out. It’s August now. He runs a hand through his damp hair.
“You’ll do really well, you know that, right?”
He blushes, though you can’t tell because he’s already red from the run. “Don’t say that.”
“You’re so humble that it’s really annoying, Will.”
“You are too. Humble, I mean.” He says without any second thought.
You tilt your head. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he looks at the ground, then back up at you, “Sometimes I wish you didn’t have to quit.”
You’re stunned by this statement. Ever since the moment you lay on your carpet years ago and Will complained about the boy who hurt you, you’ve spoken maybe 100 words to each other.
“I can’t— I can’t do anything about it now.”
“I know. I just wanted to tell you that.”
“I wish I were born a boy. Then I could take the hits.” You laugh, he doesn’t. You also think that if you were a boy, Will would never have disappeared. You try to believe that he did it unconsciously: the missed eye contact, the pretending he didn’t notice you when he was with his male friends. It makes your heart break thinking about your worth to him after quitting. You often thought bad things, like hypotheticals about being prettier, because you felt that if you somehow were, he’d have kept his eyes on you. If you weren’t helping him score goals, then what were you to him? Why the hell did he have to grow up and have long eyelashes and pale cheeks flecked with moles and that stupid, perfect nose? Why the hell did anything have to change?
“I wish they respected you, though. They could have at least done that.”
You roll your eyes. “Not how the world works, bud.”
He drags his hand across his face and groans. “I know, I know.” He repeats. “Doesn’t make it right.”
“Can we… be friends?” You ask now, all timid. You roll on your toes, all shifty and nervous.
“What do you mean? Aren’t we friends?”
“Well…yeah,” not really, you internalize, “but when you leave too. Like texting and stuff. I want to know about your team and everything.”
“Oh, of course.” He beams, “I’ll do that, yeah.”
“Cool.” And now there’s an awkward pause. You’re both sixteen, an overflowing bottle of hormones and shame and he’s dripping sweat. You put your hand on the doorknob.
“Okay, I’ll go back now. I’m already late for church.”
You grin. You felt like you’ve fixed something.
—
Will has been in love with you since the moment he heard your voice behind that helmet. He wasn’t paying attention at first, thought you were just a boy because your hair was tied back. You were quiet. At the end of practice, when you took your helmet off, everything fell apart for him.
He latched onto you very quickly. He figured out you were really fun to play with. Maybe the other boys poked fun at him, but it didn’t matter. You loved assisting him, and he loved scoring.
That day, when he saw your body fall back, red everywhere, his world stopped.
He managed to shove the boy down, and before he could do anything else, he was pulled back by a referee. Usually when scrums happen, the auditorium is loud, full of parents arguing and the other teammates ragging the two on. That day, it was dead silent. All he could hear was the sound of skates on ice. The sound of his coach running towards you. He tried to see what you looked like, but there were about five adults crowded over you, blocking his view. He was so worried. He’d never felt that way before.
Then you quit, and he relinquished his tight hold on you. The others were right. He was like a little love-sick puppy waiting for your attention. When you went off and spent time with girls your age, the excuse he had to spend time with you at the rink was gone, and he begrudgingly forced himself not to think about you. He spent the hours he used to be sitting in your living room on the weekends watching the Bruins, at practice, alone. Hitting the same pucks over and over from different angles.
He wasn’t supposed to keep falling for you. When you weren’t looking, he watched you push the loose strands of your hair behind your ear from across the classroom. He envied the people who were making you laugh. His temples felt like they were going to burst when he saw another boy talking to you.
When he lies in his new stiff bed in Plymouth, there’s nothing else he can think of. In his mind, he sees you in jean shorts and a tank top, ice cream cone dripping down your fingers, looking at everyone but him. He imagines you lying on a chair, sweat and chlorine water from the neighborhood pool sticking to your forehead as you click your tongue and ignore him. He feels like a loser.
He sends you some pictures of the rink his mom took because she was so excited. A couple of photos with his new teammates.
Fuck that’s so cool
I know right, he responds. He’s biting his fingernail, phone all pushed up to his face.
im going to a boston game this weekend
lucky :(
hopefully there’s a goalie fight
if that happens when im not there im going to murder you
oooo im so scared
And it goes back and forth like this for the year. Sometimes he gathered enough strength to call you after a game and tell you how it went. You always told him about how impatient you were waiting for those stats websites to update his point record. Who was he to deny you of anything you asked?
—
He comes back, so much taller, his voice deeper, exuding the confidence of a man.
Of course, it’s all awkward. Sandwiched between your families, not sure how to greet one another again. You’d been texting like you were best friends for the last eight months. Later that night, he asks you to come to a house party by the lake that one of his friends was having that weekend. You enthusiastically agree. It was the summer before your senior year, and Will was going to go back to Plymouth anyway. You wanted to force as much time out of him before he got drafted. He always shook his head and denied it whenever you joked about the draft, about being drafted to the Canadiens. He wouldn’t even entertain the jokes anymore because it was all so serious now. He was worried sick about the future. He’d say he needed to perform well during the season again because nothing was guaranteed, like he wasn’t always the top goal scorer of any team he was on.
He comes to pick you up then, feet scuffing up your doormat in anxiety. He’s wearing a stupid polo shirt his mom got him and black shorts, a backwards baseball hat to tame the hair that the humidity made so frizzy. You’re yelling out over your shoulder to your mom a series of yes’s before you shut the front door behind you, leaning back and sighing so loud that Will laughs.
“Giving you a hard time?”
“You don’t even want to know.”
You straightened your hair. It accentuates the bare skin on your shoulders, your pretty collarbones. You’re the definition of sun-kissed. He can’t help but find your socks and beat-up sneakers endearing too. He thought about kissing you the whole day. He thinks that this might be the night he can summon the bravery to do it.
At the party, you decide to drift off from Will. You didn’t want to seem too attached. Besides, your friends were already getting on your ass about him. You didn’t want one of them to say something stupid to his face and ruin your teenage life.
He’s holding a beer bottle, in the middle of a conversation, when his eyes scan the room. He’s had his eye on you the whole time, just in glances that made sure you hadn’t left the vicinity, but he got distracted by something for a couple of minutes, so he’s trying to find you again. He does a double-take when he sees you leaning against the wall on the far corner of the room, only a couple of inches separating you from a man who’s leaning forward, trapping you there. He squints, tries to focus on the side profile, on the hair he can hazily remember, and then it clicks.
You’re talking to one of the idiots from your hockey team all those years ago. One Will visibly remembers was a shithead to you. Jack.
And then he notices Jack’s eyes falling down to your lips as you talk. He’s not listening to a word you’re saying. It makes him sick because you look so bubbly, so keen about your topic of choice as the alcohol courses through you. Will has no idea what his friends are talking about at this point.
Jack asks for permission before he dives in, which you found out of character, but you don’t think about it much. You let him close the distance. He pulls your hips flush to his, and you let out a surprised noise before he kisses you. It was nice, actually. Nothing electrifying, but something close to what your friends described the experience to be. You kiss back.
“The fuck are you doing?” You don’t ever hear Will’s raised voice. The only reason you recognize it now is that you saw a blurry video of a scrum he got himself into a few months back, posted online. He said some things you never thought he would then, but you guess you didn’t really know him anymore.
You break apart from Jack. His hand is still at your waist, and you slap it away. All six feet of the blond is suddenly in front of both of you. It feels like you’re about to get reprimanded by a coach. Your heart drops in your stomach, pivoted to the hardwood floor.
“Hey, what’s wrong with you, man?” Jack asks, turning fully toward him now. You’re helpless, watching the way Will’s eyes narrow as he looks between both of you. You feel the press of the other man’s lips still there, and it fills you with a guilt so sharp you feel your stomach turn.
“Fuck’s wrong with you?” He counters, taking a step closer. The other man laughs in his face, takes a glancing look at you, then at Will, knowingly.
“Sorry. Forgot you two still got a thing going on.” Your brows furrow. You don’t understand the harsh tone of his voice, the smirk that plays on his lips in the dimly lit room.
“What are you talking ab—“ You’re cut off with Will’s own string of expletives.
“Don’t act stupid. You’re an asshole.” He spits out. Jack doesn’t deserve to touch you. The scene he just saw made his vision all blurry. Feels like the world was spinning twice as fast. The taller man turns to you, “We’re leaving. It’s late, and your dad’s gonna kill me.”
You try to protest, but Will, despite his attitude, grabs hold of your wrist gently to guide you through the packed room. You hadn’t processed what happened enough to be angry yet. You let him take you. You like the feel of his large palm wrapped around your wrist. Although this only lasts for a minute before you’re hit with the sudden chill of the late evening. You can hear the crunch of both your feet from the scattered leaves and branches allowed to fester on the driveway. You wriggle out of his touch, hand dropping at your side, stopping completely. When Will realizes this, he sighs and turns one hundred and eighty degrees as if it were an obligation to hear you out.
“Why did you do that, Will?”
“Are you serious? Is this what you do now?” He huffs out.
“What are you insinuating?” Your voice gets weaker. He notices and sees the wobble of your lower lip in the vanishing light reflecting off the lake.
“No, it’s just…” He grabs his keys out of his pocket, moving over to his side and unlocking the car. He didn’t want to have this conversation in the middle of a quiet street. You follow, only because you want to get home as fast as possible.
“What is it then?” You ask as he starts the ignition. He pulls off the curb, waiting a few long beats until he’s at the stop sign at the farther end of the cul-de-sac to reply.
“It’s the same Jack that pulled your hair and never passed when you were open.” He says this like you’d had amnesia. He also says this like youre still a child, incapable of your own decisions. It infuriates you.
“We became friends this year,” you confess, lying lightly. You had one class with him and he was only nice to you so you would finish his part of the group project. You didn’t really ever like him. But in the moment, you wanted someone to find you pretty and kiss you. God knows Will never did. It was dumb, but you weren’t going to let Will, someone who once saw you as an equal, a teammate, make you feel bad for kissing someone. For putting your lips on someone else’s. A mortal sin, apparently. You were sure he was getting up to much worse things in Michigan.
“But…he was so mean to you then.” His voice falters; he doesn’t understand. His grip on the steering wheel tightens. How could you ever look twice at the boys who used to make jokes behind your back, who made you out to be some sort of witch when they’d get pissy you had a better backhand? How could you when he was right there the whole time? When he’d shut the conversation down in the locker room, even when you weren’t there to hear the gross remarks. When he’d have to take the heat of the other boys saying he was in love, that he was a little suck-up to the one girl who would pay attention to him.
Granted, you never saw those things happening. He did it without you knowing. But he wants you to know now, in a stupid childish way, he wants you to know that you were the only person that mattered to him on that team. Everyone else had three measly leaves, and you were his four-leaf clover.
But now he’s left thinking he didn’t do enough.
“So? It was like seven years ago. He seems fine now.”
“But he’s not!”
“How do you fucking know? You keep saying that. You weren’t here this year!”
The muscle in his jaw ticks as he grinds his teeth.
“I know enough to know they’re assholes, and you shouldn’t be around any of them, especially Jack.” He never looks at you, keeping his eyes on the beam-lit road that seems to never end.
“Jesus, William. I’m not 10 anymore. You don’t have to save me. I know full well what it feels like to get hit. I’ll call you if it happens again. Maybe then you’ll feel good that you were right about something. And I was wrong, because I’m always wrong.”
“I never fucking said that.” His voice cracks the tiniest bit at the curse word. He’s taken aback when you say his full name. He takes offense to the notion that he would ever bask in your hurting. He would be the last person in the world to do that. He steals a quick glance at you, your head is turned down, the oversized sleeves of someone else’s jacket covering the hands that you use to furiously wipe at your eyes.
“Well— that’s what it sounds like.” He can hear the tears coming through your voice now. The sniffles and the quivering and the hurt all wrapped into one.
You shut your eyes and try to forget this all happened. That you never went to this party and that Will was still in Michigan. How it was supposed to be.
When he pulls up to your house, he tries so hard, but his mouth opens and closes like a fish because he doesn’t know how to console a girl who’s inconsolably crying in his passenger seat because of him. There’s a soft swoosh of the car doors unlocking.
“For your information, that was my first kiss. I don’t ‘do’ that now, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not a whore.” You turn to him fully, using quotation marks around the do, trying to emulate the way it came out of his mouth ten minutes ago. Tears won’t stop falling down on your lap. He can’t look at you like that. He looks out his driver’s side window instead, watches the way your neighbor’s trees sway lightly in the summer breeze.
He says a quiet, “alright,” jaw tight, still refusing to make eye contact, and waits for you to open the car door. He taps the steering wheel in anticipation.
You mutter an angry bye before you slam the door and walk down the front yard and up to your porch, keys in jittery hands. He waits, of course, till you’re inside, and even still until he sees the light from your bathroom turn on. You’re probably washing your flushed face, rubbing your face raw of the damage he inflicted. He hits his forehead on the top of the wheel, then drives a street over back to his house.
A week later, you wake up to a message from him: im sorry. i didn’t mean any of what i said. i just worry about you. i hope you’ll forgive me.
You don’t respond.
—
It’s a year later.
All you could manage was congrats, with a red heart emoji, the night Will signs his NHL contract with the Sharks. If you stared at your phone too long, you would have kept typing and rambling about all the big things that have happened in your life that he wasn’t there to see. Maybe you would have berated him, asked him why he ever had the nerve to imply the thing he did that night. Or you would have just deleted the message and never sent anything in the first place. The congratulations text looked stupid underneath his apology from eleven months ago that you never bothered to acknowledge.
You felt so much guilt following that night. You know he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He was the first witness to that hit on the ice. It probably hurt him to see you get constantly beaten down by your own teammates and opponents. It hurt him to see you kiss someone who used to chirp about how weak you were at practice. It didn’t matter if it was all ten-year-old boys being stupid. They knew what they were doing.
The guilt didn’t help you respond; in fact, it made it all worse. You couldn’t gather the courage to text him. You wouldn’t even know where to start.
Hey sorry I got so mad at you that night where I was trying to rebel and make you look my way because I was a bit tipsy and desperate and I hadn’t seen you in eight months so I wasted my first kiss on someone I actually hated. I wanted to pretend like I changed over the year and that maybe I was mature but obviously I’m not and blah blah blah. You were right Will.
This was not anything you were willing to type out and send. The congrats was as close as he was going to get.
Will has hundreds of messages that night — all blurs of long sappy text that he’s surely grateful for, but he’s not in the headspace to care now. He scrolls all the way down his contacts, scared to type your name and it coming back with nothing, coming back with his half-assed apology that made him burn so hot whenever he thought back on it his mom had asked him once if he was running a fever. It worsened when he was reminded he was planning on kissing you that night, too. So he buys time by reading each celebratory text with glazed-over eyes and a leg that won’t stop bouncing. When he sees your name (just your first, because your full name in his phone felt too impersonal) and next to it that blue dot that tells him you’ve texted, he shuts his eyes. He selfishly wanted his draft to be an excuse to talk to you again. If only about hockey, if only about his stats, and maybe just to argue about the bruins again. He didn’t need anything else unless you’d give it to him.
His heart melts at your text. Relief floods him. He doesn’t know what he expected; maybe this was the greatest outcome. You were watching, and you cared enough to reach out. He can’t help himself. All you did when he won gold in Sweden was like his post.
He’s overthinking this. People he’d known for two months back in middle school had texted him. It’s not that big of a deal. He groans, flopping back on the bed, keeping his phone close to his face, reading the single word over and over again. It’s almost more heartfelt than those long essays he’s received. All that history left unsaid. So simple it makes him believe that you always knew this was his path, that he was always good enough, so why make it a big deal?
He doesn’t know how to keep the conversation going. You left it so open. He should just thank you and leave it at that. He should.
thank you
you’re going to bc right?
Of course, he already knew. Your mom told everyone, and the information eventually snaked its way back to him in passing. He had to pretend he vaguely remembered you. He repeated your name in questioning, then acted like the image of you just dawned on him, when it was always in the back of his mind.
It’s the worst five minutes of his life turning his phone off and back again, throwing it on the opposite side of the bed, then grabbing it back.
yes
no one will believe I’m friends with the big hot-shot on campus
He sends a flurry of crying emojis and with it, don’t call me that
too late
your new title is mr. hot-shot nhl player
don’t get ahead of yourself, he typed out. It still wasn’t a given. He often thought about the worst things, like getting injured before he’s able to play professionally, or flaming out and being stuck as the wonder-boy that never was. It’s what keeps him up at night. That and the distressing thought of losing you forever.
oh shut up
everyone knows it
He doesn’t know what to say. Friends. His mind blanks. He hopes there will be another excuse to talk to you again.
—
The issue is there isn’t. The summer before the first semester, you’re rarely home. You’re hanging out with people he’s never seen before in his life. Then freshman year starts, and he never stumbles upon you on campus organically. He swears he’ll see the friends you post on instagram walking to class, in the dining hall, but he never sees you. It feels like some sort of divine punishment. It gets so bad he has to force himself to look forward, to not hope that after every turn of the corner, he’ll see you all bright and smiling and doing so well without him. He thinks bitterly on that term friends, and how it didn’t mean anything. But how could he blame you? He was the one who let you drift away from hockey. He was the one who left for Michigan. He was the one who blew up at you last summer because of his insecurities. The word friends was actually a nice thing for you to say, all things considered.
You don’t go to games, is what he assumes, because you don’t post about it like the other hundreds of women that follow him do. You don’t go to the hockey house’s parties on the weekends, though he secretly wishes you’d show and take him from the pounding music, sweaty bodies, and disgusting alcohol. Because you’re a good girl — focusing on your studies and being a part of clubs and organizations, and not stuck up on things that happened a decade ago.
Because you don’t care about hockey anymore, and that’s what he believes is the only thing he can offer you. You’re so three-dimensional. You have passions and interests he’ll never understand, and you’re involved with a different crowd. He wonders if you still had your binders full of cards stacked by your desk, or if it was packed away in the attic now, completely forgotten.
He doesn’t understand why he can’t move on. A thousand other people were waiting to sink their teeth into him if he let them. Is it nostalgia for a time before everything was so serious? The knowing that he can’t get the one thing he wants? Or is it real, deep yearning love that bubbles up and can't be traced? He figures, the covers all twisted around his limbs one late morning, it was a mix of all of it, and unless he shut his brain completely off, he was never going to stop thinking about you when he tuned his coach’s speeches out at intermissions, when he drove by your house in the summers, when he saw women with your features at the bar. If love could be explained, then he’d be able to leave you as a memory. A biological instinct that could be replicated over and over again with other women, but, obviously, that wasn’t true. It left him sick sometimes, that thought.
—
Then he’s hit in the gut by your presence.
He can’t mistake your hair, your dusty bookbag, and the swing of your hips as you walk down the hallway, away from him. You’re in the NCAA training facility, someplace, technically, you’re not allowed to be. Then he thinks about how you really should be there — you should be on the women’s team. You were supposed to do it with him. He shakes his head, trying to physically rid himself of the thoughts of this alternate reality he may or may not have created when he was bored on an away game road trip.
There’s a beat where he thinks he should stay quiet, then he gathers all the stupid courage he has left and says your name from across the hallway like he was 13 again. He was just exiting the trainer’s office, a large pack of ice wrapped around his thigh from a nasty purple and yellow bruise he got the other night.
You turn and see Will, his hair freshly washed, a tight BC shirt on, and his shorts hiked up to accommodate the tape job. He’s gained a couple of inches and filled out, and he runs his hair through that thick blond hair like he always did. You’re wearing a winter coat. It’s December. You smile, say hi, and manage a wave as you lean on the door. You’re stuck between awkwardly staring at him and leaving to go to class.
“What are you doing in here?”
“Oh!” You say, suddenly the ground looks really inviting. “I was just…walking my friend over here. We had class, and I was already heading this way for my next one. It’s also warmer in here.” You nod at your own explanation. He’s puzzled, but can’t manage another question that doesn’t sound invasive. Does this friend happen to be on the baseball team that has weight training after us? Have you seen those stupid banners on all the campus lamp posts with my face on them? Do you hate me?
He mutters an ah instead. There’s a good ten feet between the two of you.
“Well, it’s nice to see you.” That’s safe, he thinks. Maybe it kills the conversation, but he doesn’t just want to say bye. How does he even start to reconfigure a friendship in the middle of a ridicuously hot, carpeted hallway, where anyone else could come through?
“Yeah, you too.” You lean on the door, slowly turning away from him before he sees you halt. Your hand comes up to your forehead as if you’d had an epiphany.
“You played really well last night. I don’t have time to go to the games, but I still watch them sometimes.”
“Thank you,” he breathes out a bit too quickly, “You should try to come to one. I can get you tickets for Friday night, if you want.”
“I don’t know. I think I have plans.” As soon as he’s built up some foolish belief, it’s all shattered.
“That’s okay.” He musters, cheeks violently flushing. You mistake it for the heat pumping through the hall.
“Sorry, I have to go. I’m going to be late,” and you’re gone into the hazy morning, wind whipping your hair before the door shuts and he’s left staring at nothing. He’s spent a good part of the latter half of a decade watching you disappear behind closed doors.
There is a lingering hope now, as he quickly turns, snow flying up on the boards, slotting the puck in the upper left corner on Friday night, that he didn’t have to rely on the fluttering fantasy of you in the stands anymore. He hopes you’re watching, even if you’re at those “plans” you made, smiling at your phone when he scores the game winner.
—
Involuntarily, he thinks about you when he has his palm around himself. As he’s trying to imagine something else, someone not you, you’re there, underneath a man with no face. Maybe you like girls too. He wouldn’t know. He doesn’t know much about you these days. And then he’s getting angry all over again about how he fucked everything up. So much so that he can’t release and just groans and tries to sleep with a red-hot ache deep in his stomach that won’t go away.
He doesn’t let himself look through your Instagram following because then that would be crossing the line — as if everything he’s been doing hasn’t already crossed this imaginary barrier. He only lets himself watch your stories. Sometimes, he clicks on them too fast when he reloads the app, and then he’s sat staring at a picture of you and your friends, you out on a hike, your notebooks and energy drinks as you study late on a Saturday night in the library. 2 minutes ago. 53 seconds ago. 25 seconds ago. That one was a new record. He was sitting on the couch in the middle of a frat party. It was utterly ridiculous.
He can’t hide behind an ambiguous history like he can when he screws up with the other women he tries to pursue. You can’t look the other way at his shortcomings because he knows his hockey boy novelty doesn’t exist for you as it does for other people. Because you know he’s not just this shallow athlete he tries to portray himself as for protection. He can’t just text you, ask you if you’ll go out with him, and pretend like your rejection wouldn’t alter everything. The truth is that he’s always been that scared boy, watching you leave. Never closing the distance and sealing his lips to yours.
—
The year Will leaves college to join the Sharks, your sophomore year, you try your hardest to forget him. He spent his summer getting ready for the season in San Jose. You had to trust that time would mend whatever he unknowingly broke in your heart.
Now that he’s not there on campus, you feel less suffocated. His presence isn’t there as a reminder of how badly you messed up your friendship. You feel like maybe you can branch out and date people so you can finally get over this hump.
Your friend picks out some guy she thinks you’ll be compatible with, and forces you to go out on a Thursday night.
Unfortunately, the date was at a nice little bar downtown, and Will decided to be on the fucking television. Not just on one TV, but practically all of them. Must have been a dull night in sports. He’s suffocating you via broadcasting networks now.
You shifted the whole time nervously, eyes somehow knowing to snap up at the screen when they’d do a close-angle shot of him. He was annoying: biting his useless mouthguard, spitting on the floor, and saying quiet vulgarities under his breath.
The man across from you had brown eyes. He didn’t smack on a large piece of gum just to irritate you like a certain someone used to. How boring. There wasn’t a second date. If you could place blame on anyone, it would be on #2.
You decided not to tell people about Will when you got to college. You couldn’t really explain your history with him in a way that made sense to other people. It was cliché, but you had something other people didn’t. Maybe for good reason. Most people didn’t want to have a horrible unrequited crush on a boy; their feelings all jumbled between the confusions of womanhood, and their self-worth being tied to a sport that wouldn’t love them back. It was kind of a nightmare. Besides, it was hard enough having your friends tell you in vivid detail how hot they thought he was.
“Why didn’t you want to come with us last year?” One of your friends asked. You shrug. You’re three rows up at a boston college hockey game. They’re winning quite comfortably that day, even without Will.
“It’s obviously because she was scared to see Will Smith. You’re so stupid. If I were you, I would have drafted our marriage contract and sent it to his DMs.”
One night, they all ganged up on you, trying to figure out why you were such a stickler when it came to guys. You always brushed them off or said they weren’t your type. They were scrolling through your following as you jumped on them, trying to steal their phones.
“Why do you follow Will Smith?” One of them squeals as you lunged at her. Your face turned into a tomato.
“More importantly, why does he follow you back?” Another one of your friends gasps. All their jaws dropped.
“He follows everyone.” You tried to deflect, “I think we went to the same high school for a year or two. I don’t know. It was a big school, and I never talked to him.” You rambled on.
“He does not follow everyone.”
“God, I wish he followed me.”
“This conversation is over!”
—
Even Macklin figured out who you were before he met you.
Originally, Will was going through his camera roll out of boredom, trying to delete the things he didn’t need, but Macklin was nosy and bored, too. They were both lounging on the couch, scrolling absentmindedly. The older boy was stuck flipping through ten pictures, all from similar years. As he glances over his shoulder, Mack recognizes Will’s younger self, but in the pictures, there’s always the same person next to him. There’s one of him with you, maybe at age nine, all dressed up in your too-big hockey gear and holding a small trophy. Another one at a Bruins game. The next one is you making a terrible attempt at an American flag with face paint on Will’s chubby cheek at some sort of backyard summer party. The way the sun emits a hazy light through the dark exposure and pixelated image makes Will’s body tense up. To him, those days didn’t seem that long ago.
“Who’s that?”
Out of instinct, Will covers his phone like he’s just been caught watching porn. And Macklin has caught him doing that once, so he recognizes it.
“No one.”
“Uhhh, I don’t think so.” Macklin would have shrugged it off, but his best friend is flushing violently, and you can’t exactly just forget about a reaction that strong. “Who is it?” He tries again.
“Literally no one. I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re just childhood pictures.
“That’s not your sister though.”
Will grunts, looks away like he’s contemplating punching Mack in the face.
“I didn’t know you had girls on your minor team as a kid,” Macklin adds.
“Just one.”
“Does she still play?”
“No— no, I fucked that up.” Then Will has his hand over his eyes.
“Holy shit, man. Is this the love of your life or something?” And at first, Mack says it as a joke, trying to tease him, but then he quickly realizes it’s not one at all. He hit the dart dead center. Will stares at his stunned face, frowning, and it’s an answer.
“Have you ever even told her that?” Will shakes his head.
“Isn’t that a good place to start, buddy?”
“Fuck you.”
—
You’d only be envious of Will if you also weren’t so goddamn enamoured by him. He had such a great rookie season. You should be mad that he gets to live this life and you don’t, but you don’t have the energy to think like that anymore. He’s just really good, and it’s not his fault.
One of your friends from high school is getting married in July. Then someone mentions that Will was invited at a dinner and your heart drops. You didn’t know what you were thinking. You thought you wouldn’t have to see him again for some reason, even though the Boston suburbs was such a clique and you knew better. Maybe you thought you would have had a boyfriend by now, and Will would be left in your most formative years, trapped in the distorted memories of fleeting touches and half-crooked smiles you convinced yourself might have meant something at one point.
He notices you first. You’re a little bit late to the pre-ceremony gathering, placing your carefully wrapped gift on the overflowing table, looking around for people you know. You’re wearing this pretty lilac sun dress because that’s all the heat afforded you.
It’s in the groom’s parents’ backyard. One of these huge ones with perfectly mowed grass that can fit two hundred people somehow. It’s still the early afternoon, the sun hasn’t started slipping, so your face is illuminated in bright light, like the sun’s rays are favoring you. He ached in every bone in his body. He’s standing by the open bar talking to some people he barely remembers, nursing a beer to be polite, and when he even remotely sees your face turn in his direction, he’s looking away. He grimaces at this childish behavior you always elicit in him. He swears he can feel your eyes land on him.
Everyone is taking their seats now before the ceremony. Will finds his.
He feels a small finger poke him on his shoulder from behind. “Hey, Will, you’re blocking the view.”
He turns his head and sees you smiling at him like a dream.
“Oh, I can switch with you?” He questions, body unintentionally sliding down a bit in his seat.
“No, I’m just joking. I can see. You’re bigger, though, than when I last saw you.”
“Had to. Was getting my ass handed to me in the big leagues.”
You suppress a laugh, not well, because when he smiles at your expression, you end up giggling.
“You look pretty.” It just slips from his mouth. He didn’t mean to say it.
“Thank you,” you stutter out, smoothing your dress with your palms, unable to look at the way his eyes scan over you. Big blue eyes that seem to swallow you whole.
Then he notices people around you stifling their conversation, and maybe it’s a cue for him to turn around. “Anytime,” says it loud enough for you to hear, then turns his attention over to the altar, where apparently some people were getting married today.
When the ceremony ends, the dinners all served, some lackluster speeches made, the night stretches into clusters of people and terrible dancing on a woefully made platform. Again, he’s reminded he’s good at multitasking. You’re flowing between groups and couples, a glass of champagne, then a glass of wine. The backyard is lit by string lights. Your hair gets more unkempt as the night drags on.
Then, in a lull of conversation he’s having, he’s able to spot you sitting alone at a circular table, on your phone. He makes a lame excuse, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows thickly, walking in your direction before he can convince himself not to. He sits down next to you. You hum, telling him you know he’s there.
You both say nothing until Will breaks the silence first.
“What do you think about it, the happy couple?” He asks, honestly. The noise from the dance floor dulls as you give him your full attention. You can hear the sound of the late summer crickets.
“They’re way too young.” He forgot how brash you were. It’s what he liked when you’d argue who should be on the World Juniors American team at eight years old. You’d mix your hockey cards with his on the floor of his room, and try to make up your own lines as if you were the head development coach — the one who’d make the call to tell them their dreams were going to come true. “You know how it goes…21 and married? Never works out.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe they’re different.” He jokes, letting the way his voice lightens tell you that he agrees. He smiles, focusing on the way your face shifts to the couple in question, your expression all tight-lipped cause you’ve already made up your mind.
You rolled your eyes. “I bet you he doesn’t even know what her favorite color is. And she doesn’t know he’s got a secret bank account and they’ll divorce over it.”
Will remembers your favorite color instantly. He refrains from saying it out loud because it would sound like a love confession… or something.
“You’re making things up now.”
You look at him, eyes glimmering, then your eyes wander to something else in the distance. You hesitate, mouth open, then you just say it.
“I’m sorry for not being a good friend. For never responding to you after the whole…car thing. I felt so bad after that. I was immature.”
Will takes a second to respond. He didn’t think this would ever be brought up again, but he’s glad it is.
“I, uhm, I was the one who hurt you though,” long pause, “I was so jealous that night.” He scoffs at his own actions while they flicker through his mind.
You tilt your head at him, hair falling so perfectly around your face.
“Like, I couldn’t bear the thought of another man kissing you.” He thinks now, head already hot with embarrassment, to just finish what he started. “It still irks me, to be honest.”
“You…what?” You whisper, as if there weren’t twenty feet of distance between you and another group of people all drunk out of their minds.
“Yeah. I mean, it made it worse because it was him, but I would’ve had the same reaction to anyone else kissing you,” he laughs. If anything, he’s fueled by the thought that he can say this and maybe he’ll never have to see you again. That he can finally get it off his chest. He thought about it a lot these past few months after Macklin figured you out. His career was taking off, and you were about to start your own work career. It would be the best time to close this chapter of his life. To finally be man enough to take the risk. Maybe it’d eventually help him be a better hockey player. He didn’t know. He just needed to get rid of the twinges of regret he’d feel at random parts of the day.
“Are you joking?” You breathe out.
“No,” Will says, “Definitely not.”
“You’re just saying that,” tearing your eyes away from him and his intense stare, “because im like a sister to you or something.”
“You think I want to kiss my sister?”
“Ew, gross, Will!” You say, before what he said is repeated in your head, and you understand what he’s implying. Your hands that we’re fidgeting in your lap come up quickly to find your wine glass, but you’re kind of erratic, and the glass falls over. Falls over onto his white dress shirt.
“Oh shit!” You jump out of your chair. He’s in a daze. Watches you grab the empty glass from his lap and assesses the damage. It’s drenched the bottom half of his button-up deep red. He watches your concerned face as your hands feel the fabric, your feathery touch just a layer away from his abdomen.
“I’m so sorry,” you plead at him, face so close he just wants to kiss you and get it over with now. You turn your head to look at the party. No one’s even noticed what you’re so worked up about. “Maybe we can clean it up inside.”
He nods, stuck on the way your small hand grabs his forearm to lead him towards the wooden deck and through the sliding glass door. He lets you pull him around a corner, flicking on a light from an open bathroom door.
You rummaged through their towels, finding the one in the darkest shade of gray. “Uh, hopefully they don’t get too mad about this.”
“They’re having a wedding at their house. It’s fine.” Will argues. You flounder a bit before stepping closer to him, lightly dabbing the towel over the dampest parts, trying not to spread it any further. He starts undoing the buttons, slowly revealing the expanse of his chest. You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to do that.
“I really like you too, I mean, obviously. It was very obvious this whole time, Will. I don’t know how you didn’t know.”
He stops his movements. The towel in your hand is still pressed to his body. You said this while staring directly at his bare sternum. “And please don’t ever mention sisters or kissing a sister ever again, please.”
“It was not obvious.” His voice is soft. He’s staring at the top of your scalp. You pull back to look at him now. His lips part.
“Yeah, you’re stupid. I had to spell it out for you.”
“Hey!” He’s smiling again, and it feels like the air gets thinner in this cramped bathroom. “Mine was also very obvious too.”
“Don’t call me stupid. You’re pushing your luck right now.”
“When did you know?” The towel falls between both your feet.
“I’m not sure. Maybe thirteen or fourteen?” You flush because it’s so embarrassing to admit you’ve been pining after him for that long. You were sure his answer would be tamer.
“Oh, jeez.” His hand covers his face.
“What? I know it’s really young—“
“No! Oh, God.” He says again.
“What?” You say impatiently. If he was going to make fun of you, he might as well say it.
“I liked you since we were six.”
“Why are you lying to me? Are you trying to fuck with me?” You push his chest half-heartedly. He stumbles back, grinning from ear to ear.
“I’m not! I swear!”, he stops laughing, “seriously.”
You look at him warily. He responds, “We’ve been lying to each other too long to start now.”
“When did you get so poetic?”
“Communications major, remember?”
You groan. “Shut up. Can’t you just kiss me? All you do is talk and talk—“ and then he does.
He tests you first, plush lips softly angling into yours. When you withdraw, foreheads touching, there aren’t any more reasons to wait. He’s on you again with a quiet hunger. The smacking sound of your lips fills the room, and it all becomes a tangle of your hands in his hair, one of his hands cupping your cheek, and the other firm on your side, afraid to let you go. You don’t know how long you stand there, finally half of him.
You would be wasting so much time worrying about all the little events that should have made you two realize it sooner. You were both scared kids, afraid to hurt the other. It didn’t matter now. You had him breathless against your body, and that sight alone made it all worth it.
You’re the one to pull away. You need oxygen, and he’s been depriving you of it your whole life. He stares at you, love-struck.
“Can you cover up now? You’re indecent.” You pat his chest.
“I’m so decent and you know it.” His hands fumble around the small buttons. You pick up the towel, folding it nicely on the counter.
“They should make a button that immediately turns you off when you’ve reached maximum stupid word limit.” You glare at him like he didn’t make your cheeks turn the color they are now.
“You would get so bored you’d have to turn me back on.” He wiggles his eyebrows at his poorly structured double entendre.
“I’m done with you. Goodbye.” You try to get past him, to evade his broad shoulders, but you can’t. All he needs is one hand on your shoulder to make you stop.
“Okay, sorry, but I can’t really go back out there.” He gestures to his shirt.
“Did you congratulate the bride and groom?” You ask.
“Yeah, like two hours ago.”
“So we can leave.”
“Like…together?”
“Are you twelve?”
“Why are you asking me when you know the answer is yes?”
You sigh. You finally brush past him, and he’s all eager, his hands on your shoulders, practically jumping up and down behind you.
As you walk down the paved concrete, he's holding your hand, and not because he was trying to drag you through a packed td garden, down the stairs to watch the bruins warm up before a game, but because he’s able to hold you like he always wanted to.
“It was all for you,” he says. You stop, and he turns to look at you in the darkness. It feels like a recreation of that night, without the tension and anger and stupid decisions. “College, the NHL. Wanted to make you proud somehow. Wanted to do it because you couldn’t.”
“That’s dumb.” Your eyes water, and he knows you mean the opposite of what you say.
In which Quinn broke your heart and a year later he’s almost certain you’re dating Sidney Crosby, but that’s insane..right?
Note: timeline is a little off like Quinn’s trade and such but we’re gonna act like it’s normal for the flow of the story😝
Warnings?; she kinda longgg, age gap (12 years), kissing, cursing, slightly spicy, mentions of alcohol consumption, toxic relationship, Quinn is not the nicest in this!!!!!!, Luke Hughes the comedian, uhh sorry for any errors I missed!, mention of the gold medal controversy but it’s literally one sentence.
The suspicion started at the Olympics, Luke wasn’t sure if it was you tucked into the corner of a dark booth at the restaurant due to the dim candle light.
But once he saw you a few other girls that had been seated with who he thought was you walking past he couldn’t help but call out to see if it was you.
“Y/n?” His voice was soft but loud enough to catch your attention.
You turned from your conversation with a few of the other team Canada wags at the sound, sitting at a small round table was Luke, Jim, and the boys agent Pat.
“Luke! Hey.” You smiled politely, just because you and Quinn had ended on a bad foot didn’t mean you couldn’t be kind to his family. You’d known them just as long as him.
The defenseman stood to give you a gentle side hug, Jim doing the same.
“What are you doing in Milan?” Jim questioned, it was genuine yes you’d grown up around hockey, your dad and brother both playing professionally hockey, your dad becoming an award winning coach after retirement as to where your brother still played.
Pat gave you a curt nod indulging in his glass of wine to escape would could have been an awkward interaction as the other two people at his table didn’t know what the two of you knew.
“Just here for some good hockey and sports” You smiled lying straight through your teeth but they didn’t need to know.
And right as Luke went to throw out another question your phone rang, Sid’s name flashing across the screen.
“So sorry guys but I have to take this, it was lovely seeing you! Tell Ellen I say hello.”
And with that you were gone into the busy streets of Milan, phone tucked to your ear answering Sid’s call.
The guys were quick to resume their conversation but Luke thought about who he saw you with and why’d you be in Milan just for hockey?
Later in the evening after returning to his hotel room he decided to scroll on instagram and coincidentally saw you tagged in Lauren McDavids instagram story with the caption.
“Team Canada’s better half’s night out🇨🇦”
“Hmm” he hummed out loud.
“What?” Jack questioned from the other side of the room where he and Quinn rested on a sofa.
“Nothing, just..Y/n was tagged in a Team Canada wags story.” He shrugged.
Quinn and Jack shared a look
“my ex Y/n?” Quinn raised a brow in question.
“Yeah” Luke confirmed turning the phone towards them.
Both men moved closer taking the phone from Luke’s hand to examine the photo and low and behold there you were tucked between Caitlyn Suzuki and Lauren McDavid, a wide smile pulling at your cheeks.
Quinn had to admit you looked good, really good actually. Your hair looked longer then it was when he ended things with you, the soft light of the restaurant caught the natural glow of your skin, it didn’t seem like you had a single worry in the world.
“Who’s she with?” Jack asked.
“Don’t know, we ran into her at dinner but she was with some of the girls from that photo.” His younger brother shrugged cluelessly.
“Okay well half their guys are married I think minus a few so it shouldn’t be hard to find out.” Quinn pushed the phone back to Luke.
“Why do you care?” Jack raised a brow.
That earned a scoff from Quinn, “I don’t it’s just weird that she’s with another hockey player already.”
It was time for Luke and Jack to share a look, both of them knowing as much as Quinn tried to lie and act as if he was over you, he wasn’t.
-
You’d been on Quinn’s mind a lot since the Olympics, even after winning gold he couldn’t help but think who’s hotel room you were laying in comforting them after the loss.
He shouldn’t care but he did, maybe it was guilt because of how he treated you towards the end, or was he jealous that you were happy and thriving and he had a new groupie in his bed every weekend?
Your instagram had turned private and you only followed Luke who was refusing to creep on your page for him.
But on a rare off night leading up to the playoffs he scrolled helplessly throughout social media, clicking through models and friends stories seeing if anything or anyone caught his eye.
He was going so fast he almost missed it but he’d never forget that smile.
Tapping the screen he moved back to the previous story. Your brother posted a picture of you two at a Pittsburgh penguins game.
Quinn knew you were moving to Pennsylvania for work, it was part of the argument that inevitably lead to your breakup but he was never sure where you were going.
He smiled at the fact your brother got to see you thanks to his team being in town, they were still good friends and he knew how much he loved to see you whenever he could.
He was staring a little to long at the photo but right as he was about to force himself to keeping tapping through stories, something in the corner of your jacket caught his eye.
He zoomed in to make sure he wasn’t crazy, the jacket was simple, a black leather jacket, tapered just right to fit you perfectly, a small Pens logo on the front, and on the sleeve sat a small number.
Quinn swore it was an 87, he was almost positive but the quality was just slightly too blurry to tell.
So he sent it to his brothers for a second opinion.
Quinn
*sent attachment
Am I crazy or is that an 87 on her sleeve???
Jack
I mean sorta? Idk bro it’s hard to tell
Jack
Why do you care anyways?
Luke
😐
Luke
You’re the one who ended things remember?
Jack
Yeah and I really don’t think she’s with Sid, isn’t he like 40?
Quinn
Yeah u guys are right I need to let it go
His brothers were right, he was going crazy would you really be dating Sidney Crosby? He was twelve years older than you.
You could’ve been dating anyone on the team Canada roster, you lived in Pittsburgh it’s just a mix up but maybe a text to your brother wouldn’t hurt.
-
Little did Quinn or his brothers know you were sitting in the passenger side of Sidney Crosby’s blacked out Range Rover, boots on the floor, feet tucked under you, Sid’s large hand holding yours tight in his.
“You played really good.” You hummed softly as he pulled to a stop light.
“We lost.” He laughed throwing you an amused smirk.
“Yeah but still two goals and an assist is really good.” You kissed his hand.
He gave you a warm look, his eyes softening at the sight of your tinted cheeks, hair a little messy from the wind outside.
“Thank you.” He smiled softly.
“Of course..always gotta hype up my old man.” You smirked.
Sidney let a laugh slip, a genuine chuckle coming deep from within his chest, his teeth showing as he smiled.
“That how we’re doing this?” He raised a brow as he pressed the gas, only a few more streets from his driveway.
You smirked back giving him a playful shrug turning to look out the window watching as the houses blurred, Sidney now going slightly over the speed limit.
He nodded besides you a soft ‘Alright’ falling from his lips, a smirk tugging on the ends.
He loved when you two bantered like this it didn’t hurt his feelings when you called him an old man, especially when you called him your old man.
He was brought out of his thoughts by your phone ringing from where it sat in the cup holder, your brothers name flashing across the screen.
“Hey, everything okay?” You asked as you answered.
“Guess who just texted me asking if you were single?” Your brother laughed from the other side.
“Um who?”
“Quinn”
You swore your eyes popped out of your head for a second, Quinn was asking if you were single? After ripping out your heart and stomping on it a year ago.
“Quinn? Did he say why he wanted to know.” You questioned.
Sidney shot you a worried glance at the tone of your voice.
Your brother said no, just that Luke saw you with the Canada Wags at the Olympics and was curious.
You knew it was a lie, Luke was polite but he was blunt and if he wanted to know he would’ve just shot you a text or asked you then and there.
Plus Luke followed you on Instagram and while you didn’t post Sidney you still posted enough for people to see you were in some sort of a relationship.
“Yeah well that’s bullshit and he can mind his business.” You scoffed.
Your brother agreed telling you a little bit more about their conversation before bidding his goodbye and I love yous.
“What’s up?” Sid asked as he pulled into the driveway.
“My ex wants to know if I’m single? Texted my brother to ask.”
Sidney scoffed at that, the little prick wanted to know if you were single now? A year after he told you that your dreams were stupid, that he could find someone better, someone who wouldn’t consider a job in a different country.
“Well he’ll see for himself in a few weeks when we go to Michigan.” He smirked thinking of the upcoming lake house trips
-
It was a Friday afternoon, the Hughes boys were in their driveway loading up Jacks jeep before they headed off to the rink.
Luke was laughing about something Quinn said, Jack tripping over a fallen stick causing the giggles to get worse.
Luke was standing back to full height when he was a black Ranger rover turn on the street, it wasn’t a car he recognized or had ever seen go to one of the four houses on the street.
“Who’s that?” He pointed to the car.
“Hmm, don’t know. Sick car though.” Jack shrugged.
However their questions were quickly answered as the car turned into your driveway, the three boys shared a glance moving around the trunk to get a better view of who stepped out.
They watched as you bounced out the front door, a bright smile on your face, body vibrating with excitement as you moved off the porch and into the driveway.
They hadn’t seen you much in the first weeks of summer, your brother mentioned something about Canada and a lake house, he never mentioned who you were with only said it was a friend.
But as Quinn watched the car door open he swore time was moving in slow motion, there was a pit in his stomach as he noticed it was obviously the foot of a man and who was that man exactly?
Sidney fucking Crosby.
Luke’s stick fell from his hand
Jack was sure his jaw was on the ground
And Quinn was ready to pass out especially as he watched you throw your arms around the captains shoulders. Sidney wasn’t shy when he pulled you against him by your hips. He’d never seen Sidney so open and carefree like that or smile smile like that before, not even when we won the fucking cup.
It was gentle and soft, his eyes were full of nothing but admiration and love for the woman in front of him.
They watched as you stood on your tippy toes and pushed your mount against the older man’s, Sidney brought a hand up to cradle the side of your face as he kissed back with the same amount of force.
On the other side of the car you were smiling into Sid’s mouth happy to finally be back in his arms after a few weeks apart.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” You hummed when you two finally pulled away.
“Me too, missed you.” He smiled kissing the top of your head one more time before he finally stepped back to retrieve his bags from the trunk.
“Those the Hughes boys next door?” He laughed nudging his head in the direction of the three stunned hockey players.
“Yeah” you confirmed peaking over his shoulder you saw Luke and Jack laughing as Quinn looked like someone had just ran his puppy over.
Obviously you knew there would be shock but you could care less about what anyone had to say especially not your ex boyfriend.
He nodded pursing his lips as he grabbed his suitcase and duffel bag pushing the button to close the trunk you two rounded the car.
And right as you passed the hood of the car he raised a hand his silver Rolex twinkling in the sun as he waved his hand towards the three brothers.
“Hey boys.” A shit eating grin covering the man’s face as he said it, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
Quinn watched as the two of you entered the house Sidney’s hand low on your waist as you went in before him.
“What the fuck” Quinn breathed his brows raised as he turned to his brothers.
“Well..guess you actually were onto something” Luke scratched the side of his head huffing out a laugh of disbelief.
Quinn truly could not believe what had just happened, he thought he was reaching with his connections and theories. He never expected you to actually be dating one of the greatest players to ever grace the sport, someone you watched him fanboy over, a player and guy he looked up to his entire career.
Thee one question he had was how the fuck did this even happen?
-
It was last off season during a random NHL gala that Sidney’s approached you, he’d seen you at these with your dad and brother once or twice. But the past few gala’s Sidney always saw you attached to the arm of Quinn Hughes.
Maybe it was none of his business on why you two were on opposite sides of the room or why your dress didn’t match his suit but he couldn’t help himself.
“What’s got you so glum?” He started softly as he approached you at the bar a glass of expensive scotch in his hand while your nursed a glass of champagne.
your bright eyes met his and Sidney would admit anytime he’s seen you at these in the past few years you’ve looked breath taking but tonight was different. Your hair was a little looser, makeup a little more bold, smile a bit more free, dress tighter then he’d ever noticed before, and your lips were painted the most delicious shade of red he’d ever seen.
But even with that you looked like you’d rather be anywhere else in the world.
“ Dad dragged me this year since my mom didn’t want to go, you know he can never turn down the invite so here i am” you smiled politely.
Sid nodded in understanding these weren’t his favorite but he was always respectful enough to attend.
“No Hughes this year? Excuse me if I’m over stepping but usually you two come to this together right?” Sidney raised a brow in question.
He watched as you sucked in a rough breath nodding at his words, “Yeah but we uh, we broke up in February I moved to Pennsylvania for work, he’s in Vancouver so it just wouldn’t work.”
Sidney could tell that was only part of the reason you looked like you had a lot more to say a lot more hurt in your chest but he wasn’t one to pry, so he changed the topic.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I hope Pennsylvania is treating you well though?.”
You perked up at the question it was a transition that was becoming amazing for you, “yeah! Pittsburgh has been cool. The city is so beautiful and don’t get me started on the food I think I’ve had enough pierogis to fill me for a lifetime.”
He raised a brow at the mention of Pittsburgh, “oh no way, I didn’t know you were in Pittsburgh.”
“Yeah my job opened a new location there and I’m running the department there now.” You explained.
You two spent the next three hours at the bar talking to each other, yes technically you’d known him for a long time but you never really knew him.
For a long time he was just someone your dad always spoke highly of, always told you that was the best player he’s ever coached, your brother always said he had a love hate relationship with Sidney because he was amazing to watch but annoying to play against.
And Quinn loved Sidney he always said it was cool your dad coached him, always told you how much he looked up to him, wanted to be as iconic of a player as Sid was.
But standing here talking to him it didn’t feel like he was one of the best players in the league, a destined hall of fame player, captain, and Stanley cup champion.
He was just Sidney, a guy you learned had a laugh that made your stomach do butterflies, someone who liked his coffee black, had a love for bird watching, fed squirrels in his off time, and had a whole family of deer that ate from his hand in his back yard.
A few weeks later when he returned to Pittsburgh for pre season training he called you, no not a text because that wasn’t how a man asked a woman out for dinner in his opinion.
And that following Thursday night you two sat in a private booth in his favorite Italian spot in the heart of Pittsburgh talking over a delicious bottle of wine and even better food.
The age gap didn’t even occur to you guys at first even as you guys began to date until his agent Pat brought it up.
But neither of you cared not when you were both happy, Sidney already had a private life and you weren’t big on social media. You’d gone private years ago only going public for a bit after your split from Quinn.
You hadn’t felt so open and carefree in years, Sid didn’t judge you when you and your girls went out for drinks and you had a little to much to drink. He’d be there in that blacked Ranger Rover, Pjs on waiting for you outside the bar or club.
Quinn on the other hand would’ve complained, told you that you needed to watch your alcohol intake a little more, not be so careless, he had hockey he needed to worry about he couldn’t just wake up to come get you when you got drunk.
Sidney didn’t complain that your drinks were too sweet or to cold, while they weren’t always his taste you loved them and that’s all that mattered to him.
Quinn would tell you they were gross, that it was pure sugar, tell you to try a less sweet version, less ice because it ruined the drink.
But Quinn wasn’t always like that and that’s what hurt the most. For a long time you thought he was the person you’d be with forever, the person you’d start a family with, build a house with, dance around a kitchen barefoot with grandchildren running around you.
The change started after the Canucks started trading their key players, people that Quinn counted on. You blamed it on the stress, the team was tanking it everyone knew it.
But no matter how much you tried to be there for him Quinn found a reason to push you away, “you don’t get it” was a phrase he said often, fights became constant, and it felt like no matter what you did you were wrong.
then came your job offer.
And that’s when it all crumbled.
-
It was an early morning when you got the call from your boss, Quinn was away at an early practice.
They told you the details, they’d be opening a new office in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and they wanted you to run it. The pay raise was significant and you’d have full control over the staffing decisions, how things ran, details and designs within the office.
They also told you it was hybrid so you’d only be needed in Pittsburgh maybe once or twice a month for a mandatory meeting once it all got started and the rest of the time you could still work from home in Vancouver if you wanted.
You told them you had to think about it, Talk to Quinn, your parents, get some other opinions on it.
Everyone was stoked for you, besides Quinn.
He came home from practice upset, he showered right away before plopping himself on the couch and watching tapes.
You swore he rolled his eyes when you asked to talk to him about the Job offer.
He snapped when you told him it was in Pennsylvania, not letting you get a word out he spat nasty things, told you that was stupid, why couldn’t you just stay in Vancouver?
Your final straw was when he simply said, “Go if you want, if it’s that important but we’re done if you choose that job. I’ll find someone else who truly supports me and wants to be by my side.”
He acted as if the past five years meant nothing to him, all the late nights up worrying about the draft, the way you held him the night before his debut, or how you stayed up all night playing with his hair after he’d gotten knocked out of the playoffs for the first time.
What about all the times you prepped his meals week after week, woken up at insane hours to pick him up from the airport, or how you’d drop anything to go to a game because he’d asked you too.
You’d put up with a lot especially in the final months of your relationship and truthfully Quinn made your decision for you then and there.
The job it was and within the next couple of weeks you were completely moved out of what was once your shared apartment and moving back to the states.
The weeks after you left were quiet for Quinn, the apartment was cold and dull, pictures of you two still sat around because he couldn’t bring himself to take them down.
He tried reaching out a few times but you politely asked him to stop, sent him your half of rent for that month and told him you’d like to cut contact all together and maybe in a few years you guys could go back to being the friends you were before you dated.
He knew you two would never be able to be like that again and it hurt but it was his fault. You tried so hard to help and be there and he just wouldn’t let you.
He did fill your spot in bed with a bunch of random fake blondes, they weren’t anything important to him or serious, just people to fill the void of you.
His mother was the one who smacked him out of his shitty haze, and that was literally. He’d been playing like shit, maybe it was the lack of sleep, the fact he wasn’t disciplining himself like he usually did during the season.
After a long talk with his mom and dad he realized he needed out of Vancouver and that’s when he put in his trade request.
Minnesota had treated him well so far, the team was amazing, the fans even better, he was settling in nice and he finally felt like he was getting over you until the god damn Olympics and his younger brother showing him a photo if you for the first times in months.
-
Sidney was enjoy his time in Michigan with you, he loved seeing where you grew up, going to your favorite restaurants, sunsets on the lake you grew up spending your days in until your parents had to force you out of.
But he did notice the constant eyes on the two of you anytime you guys left the house and your ex was outside.
He didn’t mind Luke and Jack so much, Luke was actually pretty funny and a nice kid. You guys had ran into him grocery shopping a few days back and he ended up walking the entire store with the two of you.
Tonight was his final straw, he’d taken you out to a nice dinner, you worse his favorite dress, the necklace he got you with a tiny 87 pendant to match his own, his initials carved in the back of yours.
Your hair was done is pretty waves, your skin glowing and sun-kissed, his favorite lipstick on your lips, ironically the one you wore the night he knew he would never get you out of his head.
Things got heated at dinner, your hand slipping higher than it should have in public, there was a nice spicy makeout in the parking lot before you two got yourselves together and on the road.
He was ready to take you inside and do things he’d never admit out loud, he was sure he looked like a fool with lipstick all over his face and neck but he could give two shits the only think he had on his mind was getting your dress on the floor and making you cry tears of pleasure.
However his mood was quickly dampened by the sight of Quinn Hughes sitting on the front porch of the house.
You both had a questioning look on your faces as Sidney pulled into the driveway both of you stepping out together.
Quinn looked up once the car doors shut, he watched as you and Sidney approached, your heels in Sidney’s hand, hair a mess and lipstick all over the two of you.
“Is everything okay? Did someone get hurt or something? Why are you sitting on my porch at 9pm?” You questioned arms crossing across your chest.
Quinn stood now wiping his sweaty hands on his shorts, he’d had a little to much to drink and came over to beg for you back when he remembered you were in a relationship and had a break down in non other than Trevor Zegras’s arms before downing a few more beers.
“I just..I don’t know okay. You left and I haven’t been fine since and then I tried starting fresh in Minnesota and then here comes Luke. “Oh y/n is a Canada wag now” and showing me a picture of you and suddenly everything I ever felt for you came rushing back and then I see you with Sidney Crosby and my heart hurts but I don’t even des-.”
“Quinn stop rambling.” You cut him off.
It was clear to you that he wasn’t in his right mind and you could smell the beer from where you stood.
“Why don’t you go sober up kid, maybe tomorrow morning is a better time to talk.” Sidney stepped in, his voice gentle but stern in a way he’d correct one of his rookies.
“Oh okay, yeah right maybe..” Quinn nodded and when he went to move he stumbled almost falling off the three small steps.
Both of you sprung forward to catch him, a sigh of annoyance escaping a typically very cool, calm, and collected Sidney.
“I’m gonna walk him over he can hardly stand.” You huffed to your boyfriend.
“I’ll come.” There was no room for argument in his tone as he set your heels down and helped you by grabbing Quinn’s other side.
And Just Sidney’s luck it was one of his players who opened the door.
“Pizza tim-Cap? What..what the hell is going on.?” Rutger Mcgroarty sputtered looking back and forth between his captain, a very drunk Quinn, and you who he recognized from the team family events.
“Fuck me, Rut can you get Jack or Luke or some adult that’s somewhat sober.” Sidney sighed.
“Yes sir, be right back.” He nodded quick scurrying down the hallway only to return with Luke and Jack thirty seconds later.
“Oh shit.” Jack cursed at the sight in front of him.
“Please take your idiot brother and tell him I will be here at 10am sharp to talk and he better be up and ready.” You explained with eyes that could kill.
“Yup got you.” Jack nodded pulling his brother into the house and helping him towards his room.
“Sorry guys he must’ve slipped out, i thought we got him in bed.” Luke grimaced.
“No problem moose, just keep an eye on him and have him up by ten. We’re gonna have a nice talk in the morning.”
Luke nodded and bid the two of you a goodnight and shutting the heavy wooden door.
“Well there went the sexy mood.” You groaned as you made it into your house.
Sidney tsked from behind you his large hands eloping your waist, “fortunately my lovey dovey lust has turned to frustration but I’m still turned on so your call.”
You leaned back into his chest, “yeah?” You smirked looking up at him.
“Oh yeah.” And with that his lips were dominating yours his large hand holding your jaw in place as he pushed his hot tongue into your mouth causing a soft moan to slip free.
“Take me to bed Sidney, right now.” You whined pulling back for a split second.
He didn’t need to be told twice before you were in his arms and he was making his way upstairs.
Quinn might have dampened the mood slightly but Sidney promised you in the quiet of that restaurant that he would take you home and fuck you until you cried and that’s what he was going to do, because he didn’t break promises.
-
The next morning you were sitting at the kitchen table of the Hughes lake house, everyone was gone besides the three brothers but currently the only one at the table with you was Quinn.
You both had glasses of coffee that you had so kindly prepared because you were damned if he wasn’t going to be present for this conversation.
“I’m gonna talk and you’re gonna let me, when I’m done you can have your turn. Got it?” You raised a brow.
Quinn nodded in understanding his eyes everywhere but yours this strangely felt like when you guys broke up just a lot less hostile and toxic.
“What you did last night was wrong and unacceptable Quinn. You were someone I loved so deeply at a point in time you were my everything. I had our entire future planned, wedding, kids, a house, I wanted it all. But that was then and this is now, that day you told me my dreams were stupid and I could be replaced destroyed me. Yes I admit we had been going down hill for months but that wasn’t only my fault. You pushed and pushed me away until I couldn’t take it anymore. I loved you but it wasn’t meant to be. I was going to stay in Vancouver Quinn, it was Hybrid job I could’ve done it from anywhere as long as I visited the office in Pittsburgh once a month I wanted to make it work.” You spoke voice shakier than you would have liked but this was a conversation you two never had that was very much needed.
Quinn’s eyes snapped to yours at the mention of a hybrid position, you were going to stay?
“But with that said, I’m glad I didn’t. I’m sorry if that hurts but you hurt me Quinn. And showing up at my door saying you miss me and still have feelings isn’t fair to me or Sidney. I moved on and it wasn’t easy, still isn’t. I notice I do things all the time in my relationship that I did in ours that aren’t normal. But I’m trying and I’m healing and I wish that for you too, you were my best friend before my partner and i want you to find the happiness I gave you at one point with someone else.” Your voice was gentle as you reached a hand to rest on his.
It wasn’t intimate in any way more in a comforting manner as you watched his eyes get teary.
He cleared his throat before he spoke up.
“What I did last night was wrong and embarrassing and I am so, so, fucking sorry that I did that. You’re right it wasn’t fair to you guys or your relationship. I guess I had myself believing I was over you until Luke showed me that picture. I think in a way I was jealous? Or resentful at first? I don’t know.” He groaned rubbing his eyes with his free hand.
“You looked so good and happy like you had no worries in the world and I guess that made me feel jealous and guilty all at once. I was so awful to you in that last half of our relationship and it was so wrong of me because all you tried to do was help. But I am glad you’re happy and thriving because you deserve it, you really do and I’m glad Sidney is able to give you that.” He smiled but it didn’t quite meet his eyes, you could see the sadness that lined it.
“He does make me really happy but I’m serious when I say you deserve that too Quinn. Like you said Minnesota is new, it’s fresh, maybe you can meet a nice girl and find someone that gives you what Sidney gives me.” You smiled.
“Hell maybe she’ll be 12 years older than you too.” You threw out a soft joke trying to help ease the emotions in the room.
And it worked because he did crack a small laugh at that shrugging his shoulders mumbling a soft maybe.
“Thank you for this, I didn’t deserve a single second of your time but I’m grateful for it.” He thanked you and you could tell it was genuine and sincere.
“Of course, as much as I didn’t want to at first I do think it was a conversation we needed.” You smiled at him.
You guys finished your coffee and Quinn Walked you to the front door but not without Luke and Jack giving you warm hugs first.
But right before you could bid your goodbyes Luke asked a question.
“Hey can I ask why the older guy? Is it like the grayer the better or something?”
His brothers shook their heads at the question but you just laughed.
“Something like that.” You smirked before waving bye and stepping out the door.
Sidney was waiting on the porch swing for you patting his lap as you came close.
“How’d it go?”
“Good, I think it was good for both of us in our own ways.” You smiled fondly.
“Good baby, I’m glad it went well.” He smiled kissing your head.
You relaxed against him, you did hope Quinn found someone to make him happy but that person was no longer you.
You weren’t one for Saturday night live and gold medal controversies, you were happy with your graying old man and your content private life.
Plus you’d always been more of a silver girl anyways, and Luke Hughes was right.
Summary: you don’t realize how much you’ve been shrinking yourself to fit into someone else’s life until you’re forced to look at the pieces. It starts with an Olympic gold medal and a boyfriend who laughs when your entire sport is treated like a political punchline. But it shifts with Sidney Crosby in the Milan cold, pointing out the devastating difference between a boy you have to make excuses for and a man who actually respects you. Sometimes, moving on isn’t just a breakup … it’s an absolute upgrade
additional tags: 2025-2026 nhl season, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, kink discovery, unsafe sex, barebacking, established relationship
summary
Will hummed and asked, "Nauseous?"
Mack nodded slowly. "And I can't keep anything down. Been puking yesterday and today."
"What, are you pregnant or something?" Will scoffed.
The image of it flashed through his mind—Mack laid up in Will's bed, his face glowing, his stomach round and swollen with the baby he put there.
Will's hand froze.
happy knock him up november day! there's some technical difficulties going on visibility but the fics are live if you look through the prompts and see the works that way. anyway this link should work SO please enjoy this little mackwill fic i wrote for the occassion! i'm slowly easing my way back into writing again after a big slump and i like how this came out. i hope you guys like it too (and if you do...i'd really appreciate it if you commented and told me so 😅 no pressure tho!) 🩷
hudson williams saying closeted pro hockey players and other athletes are reaching out to them and rachel reid, that they're playing in the highest leagues and they have to reach out and this is their story makes me incredibly heartsick like there is one (1) out professional hockey player in all of north america there are none in the nhl this sport took one step forward and was wrenched two steps back and there are boys watching this show and seeing themselves and they want to tell someone so badly even if they can't put their names on it it makes me it's heartbreaking. these boys deserve better. these boys deserve sunshine.
warnings : talks of su!cide, depression, anxiety, abu$e
summary: In a city of noise and pressure, two quiet souls—Quinn Hughes, the Canucks captain burdened by expectation, and Ava Monroe, the lonely daughter of a billionaire—find each other at their lowest. What begins as a silent connection in the dark becomes a lifeline, as they quietly piece each other back together. Through whispered confessions, found family, and healing love, they learn that sometimes, the gentlest stories are the most powerful—and that the right person can bring you home without ever saying a word.
a/n: I’ve working on this for a little bit now and I wanted to make sure I was happy with how it came out. I say it every time but I think this is my favourite thing I’ve written so far. I really hope you guys enjoy this.
masterlist
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From the outside, Ava Monroe had everything. The kind of everything that was splashed across glossy magazine covers and whispered about at exclusive dinner parties hosted in candlelit dining rooms with ten-thousand-dollar floral centerpieces. She lived in a sprawling mansion perched high in West Vancouver, with sweeping, cinematic views of the Pacific that made the sunsets look like they were painted just for her. The marble-floored foyer echoed with each step beneath her designer heels, and there was always someone paid to anticipate her needs—a private chef who prepared meals she rarely had an appetite for, stylists who dressed her like a mannequin, tutors who guided her through a curriculum designed to craft the perfect future. Her world was curated like an art gallery: everything polished, everything perfect.
But no one ever asked her if she felt at home in it. In truth, Ava had felt like a guest in her own life for as long as she could remember—present but not wanted, displayed but not held. A beautiful ghost wandering through a museum of someone else's making. Her every breath felt choreographed, like she was part of a play she never auditioned for.
Her name carried weight. Ava Monroe. Daughter of David Monroe, real estate tycoon turned international mogul, whose face was on the cover of Forbes more than it was in her life. And her mother, Sally—a socialite whose reputation for elegance was only matched by her absence. Together, they were Vancouver's power couple, untouchable in their glass tower of privilege. But Ava? She was the glass. Transparent. Fragile. On display, but invisible. A footnote in their empire.
From the outside, it looked like the dream. But inside, it was a mausoleum of unspoken words and unmet needs. A house that echoed with the absence of love. A girl who grew up surrounded by beauty and yet felt none of it belonged to her. Money was the answer to every problem, but it never asked her how she felt. It bought silence instead of comfort. And Ava—young, soft, desperate Ava—learned how to exist quietly within it. Learned how to smile for the cameras while dying in the dark. Learned how to shrink her soul until it could fit into the cracks of other people's expectations.
Money masked the emptiness. But it never filled it. It never could. It could buy her everything—except the feeling of being wanted.
She remembered the gold trim of her bedroom walls better than her father's laugh—if he even had one. The sound of his voice was a memory blurred by distance and business calls, always clipped and impatient, never warm. She couldn't recall a single bedtime story or a moment where he looked at her like she was something more than a fleeting responsibility. And her mother—God, her mother's perfume—that suffocating cloud of white jasmine and vodka, always seemed to arrive before she did. It clung to the drapes, to Ava's pillows, to her hair, long after her mother was gone. Longer than her embrace. Longer than her love, if it had ever existed at all. Her mother's touch was cold, her gaze colder. Ava used to press her small hands to the windows and watch her leave, praying she'd come back softer. She never did.
Ava's childhood was a mosaic of jet lag and hotel suites. She'd stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower, floated in gondolas down Venetian canals, and tasted sushi in Tokyo that melted on her tongue like snow. Her passport was thick with stamps by the age of ten. But none of those places felt like home. Home was a concept Ava didn't understand. Not really. Her childhood home in Vancouver was more like a museum—perfectly curated, but hollow. A stage built to impress, but never to comfort.
Her father was always gone. He existed in phone calls, scheduled meetings, and brief appearances in tuxedos at charity galas. When he was home, he was on his phone, always pacing, always tense, and Ava quickly learned that the way to his attention was through perfect grades or crisis-level tantrums. He preferred the grades. It cost less to reward her than to soothe her. When she got her first A+ in primary school, he handed her a bracelet worth more than some people made in a year, kissed her on the forehead, and left the room. She kept the bracelet in its box. She wanted his words, not his money. But words were too expensive for him.
Sally Monroe, meanwhile, was more ghost than mother—a haunting, a flicker in the corner of the room, a presence that came and went like perfume dissipating into stale air. She floated in and out of the house, high on champagne and attention, always late, always dismissive, like motherhood was a performance she never auditioned for. Her stilettos clicked across marble floors like a metronome of neglect, and her laughter echoed through hallways Ava was never invited into. Ava can still hear her words like a wound that never scabbed over, each syllable slicing deeper than the last.
"You ruined my body, Ava," she once spat, wine glass in hand, eyes glassy and unfocused.
"If I didn't have you, I could've been someone," she slurred another time, brushing past her daughter like she was a smudge on her perfect reflection.
"Why can't you just be normal for once?"
Ava would replay those moments in her head, over and over, like a broken record. The cruelness wasn't random—it was ritual. Her mother's disdain was the wallpaper of her childhood, unavoidable and slowly peeling away at her self-worth. Every glance in the mirror became a question: What was so wrong with her that even her mother couldn't love her? And still, some pathetic part of her held onto hope—that one day Sally would walk through the door, take Ava's face in her hands, and say she was sorry. That she was proud. That she wanted her.
But apologies were for people who felt remorse. And Sally Monroe never looked back.
Words sharpened like razors over time, and Ava bled internally for years. She bled in silence. She bled with a smile. Every glance in the mirror felt like she was trying to live up to a version of herself that never existed. She would stare at her reflection and wonder what exactly about her had made her mother unravel.
The only solace she ever knew was Brenda.
Brenda was the nanny who stayed far past her job description. She was the one who tucked Ava in, made her soup when she was sick, brushed the knots out of her hair while humming lullabies. Brenda was the one who held her after nightmares, whispered that she was special, that she was loved—words no one else ever said and meant. Brenda was home. When the world felt too loud, Ava would crawl into Brenda's arms and let herself feel small, feel held. Brenda was the only person who ever looked at Ava like she mattered. Not as a responsibility. Not as a paycheck. But as a person.
And then one day, Brenda left too.
Ava was fifteen. Her parents claimed she had to go—"boundaries," her mother had said with a smug twist of her lips. Ava didn't eat for three days. Her silence screamed at them, but no one listened. Brenda cried when she packed her last bag. Ava sat on the stairs, arms wrapped around her knees, watching her only source of love walk out the door. It was the first time she thought about disappearing. The first time she wondered what death felt like.
That's when the darkness started to curl around her, quiet and relentless. It wasn't a sudden collapse. It was a slow, steady erosion. Each day chipped away at her until there was nothing left but skin stretched over silence.
By sixteen, the depression was a thick fog that clung to her skin, seeped into her lungs, made every breath feel like drowning. The anxiety followed like a shadow. Panic attacks in the middle of the night, the overwhelming sense that she was suffocating inside her own skin. Her heart would race for no reason, hands trembling, chest tightening until she gasped for air like she was underwater. She wore silk and diamonds, but her ribs felt like they were collapsing.
She sat in therapy offices decorated in muted pastels, nodding while older women scribbled notes and offered her lavender tea and affirmations. Ava learned how to lie in those offices. Learned the right things to say so they'd stop probing, stop calling her parents, stop suggesting medication that her mother would scoff at anyway. The therapists saw her as a sad rich girl. Nothing more.
No one noticed she was slipping. Maybe they did, but they didn't care. Or they thought she'd be fine. She was Ava Monroe, after all.
At school, she was the quiet girl with perfect hair and vacant eyes. People wanted to sit next to her, invited her to parties she never showed up to, tagged her in photos she wasn't in. No one really saw her. The friends she made wanted status, not connection. They clung to her for the proximity to power, the name, the lifestyle they thought they could sip like champagne through her. They smiled in selfies and whispered about her when she turned her back. Her name got her into rooms, but her presence was irrelevant.
She deleted her social media when she turned seventeen. The silence was better than the noise. She didn't want to see the curated versions of people pretending to live happy lives, or the forced smiles of people who didn't know what it meant to ache.
Most nights, she lay in bed staring at the ceiling, counting the cracks in the paint until her vision blurred. The silence was oppressive, curling around her like a second skin, smothering her slowly. She would lie motionless, the hum of the city outside her window reminding her that the world was still spinning, even if she wasn't. Each night bled into the next like watercolors running down the page, indistinguishable in their loneliness.
She often imagined what it would be like to simply vanish. To evaporate into the night air like breath on cold glass. Would anyone notice the absence of her quiet footsteps? The unoccupied chair in the lecture hall? The unread text messages on her phone? She doubted it. The idea that she could disappear without disrupting anything was both terrifying and oddly comforting. Some nights, the thoughts spiraled into places too dark to speak of—into fantasies of escape that stretched into eternity. A long, uninterrupted silence.
But something always tethered her to the edge. Sometimes it was the faint sound of Brenda's lullabies echoing in her head, like the memory of warmth. Sometimes it was a stranger's smile on the street or the way a poem broke open her chest just wide enough to let a sliver of hope in. A foolish, desperate hope that someone—anyone—might look at her one day and actually see her. Not the name. Not the money. Just her.
She never told anyone about those thoughts. Who would she tell? Her mother would laugh. Her father wouldn't even pause his call. And everyone else? They only knew how to love her shadow, never her soul.
There was no one to tell. So she carried it all alone, night after night, in a bed that felt too big, in a world that felt too empty.
Not Ava Monroe, the heiress. Not Ava Monroe, the girl with a platinum card and a perfect smile. Just Ava.
She turned eighteen and moved into her own condo in downtown Vancouver, a sleek place her father paid for and never visited. It was cold. Quiet. She painted one of the walls just to feel like she owned something in her life. She chose a soft green. Brenda would've liked it. The color softened the sterile white that made everything feel like a hospital.
University came next, more out of obligation than ambition. She studied literature because it felt like an escape, a place where pain was beautiful and loneliness had purpose. Her classmates admired her writing, but they never knew the stories came from somewhere real. She wrote about girls drowning in oceans of expectation, about mothers who forgot how to love, about the sound of being forgotten.
On weekends, she wandered the streets of Vancouver, alone with her earbuds and playlists of sad songs. Sometimes she sat at cafes and watched people laughing over lattes, wondering what it would feel like to belong to someone's world like that. Other times, she would walk along the seawall in Stanley Park, letting the crashing of waves drown out the noise in her head. She liked rainy days best—something about the grey skies made her feel less alone, like even the weather understood her.
She was twenty-one now. Twenty-one and still haunted by a childhood that looked perfect in pictures. Twenty-one and still trying to figure out who she was beneath the layers of privilege and pain. Twenty-one and still waiting for someone to stay.
The thing about being hollow is that it echoes. It makes everything louder. Loneliness. Grief. Desperation. The ache of never being chosen.
And Ava Monroe's whole life had been one long, aching echo.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
The city of Vancouver glittered under grey skies, caught in that strange, beautiful limbo between rain and light. The kind of grey that wrapped itself around buildings like a heavy blanket, soft and suffocating all at once. For Quinn Hughes, the skyline had become a blur—glass towers that reflected versions of himself he no longer recognized. Faces he used to know stared back from the mirrored windows: the hopeful rookie, the quiet brother, the boy with wide eyes and big dreams. But now, the reflections were hollowed out, distorted. He no longer knew which one was real.
He sat in his high-rise apartment overlooking the city, the window cool against his shoulder as he leaned into the silence. His breath left faint fog on the glass, fading faster than the thoughts in his head. The world outside moved with its usual rhythm—cars zipping through puddles, cyclists hunched against the drizzle, pedestrians rushing somewhere with purpose, umbrellas bobbing like tiny shields against the storm. But inside, Quinn felt still. Stuck. Forgotten.
The hum of the refrigerator was the only sound. The kind of silence that pressed against your chest and made you question if the world would even notice if you were gone. He hadn’t spoken to anyone all day. Not because no one called—he just didn’t answer. Some part of him hoped someone might show up anyway. But no one did.
The loneliness wasn’t loud. It was quiet and creeping, like fog under a doorframe. It seeped into his bones and made everything feel a few shades colder. He had the view, the prestige, the life people envied. But none of it meant anything when the only voice he heard was his own, echoing through empty rooms.
He blinked slowly, letting the rain blur his vision, and for a moment, he imagined the skyline disappearing. The city swallowed by mist. And him, sitting there, unnoticed. A ghost in a glass tower.
They called it an honor. They said it was a privilege. They said he earned it.
But when Quinn was named captain of the Vancouver Canucks, it didn’t feel like a crown. It felt like a shackle.
He remembered the headlines. The social media storm. The debates.
He’s too quiet. He’s not vocal enough. He’s not a leader. He hasn’t won anything.
People questioned his worth like it was a commodity they could bid on. They dissected his posture, his words, his facial expressions like analysts on a mission. Every move he made was magnified, every mistake weaponized. He was under a microscope, and the scrutiny burned.
He tried to drown it out. He told himself it didn’t matter, that he didn’t owe the world anything more than his effort. But it mattered. It mattered more than he wanted to admit.
Because all Quinn Hughes ever wanted was to be good enough.
Not just for the team. Not just for the fans. For his brothers. For his parents. For himself.
He grew up with a stick in his hands and the weight of expectation already on his shoulders. Being the oldest meant being the example. The one who knew the right answer. The one who paved the path not just for himself, but for everyone who came after. Every step he took was supposed to be a guide for his brothers, a light to follow. But what people didn’t understand was that he had paved that path with pieces of himself—with sleep he never got, with tears no one saw, with bruises he never let anyone treat.
Every time someone praised his poise, they didn’t see the nights he stayed up wondering if he was enough. Every time someone called him steady, they didn’t see how hard he worked to hold the cracks together. Each season, each game, each injury chipped away at him like erosion on a cliffside—slow, relentless. There were days when his body moved on autopilot, when he looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger was staring back. The boy who once dreamed with fire in his chest now looked at his reflection with tired eyes, wondering when the light inside him dimmed.
He wore his role like armor, but underneath it, he was breaking.
There were mornings he couldn’t get out of bed without pain shooting down his spine. Nights he iced his knees in silence while his teammates laughed across hotel hallways. Games where he played through injuries he should’ve rested. And still, when the final buzzer blew and the Canucks fell short yet again, he took the blame.
Always, it was Quinn.
He bore it in his posture, in the way his shoulders slumped when no one was watching. In the way he lingered on the ice after practice, skating until the rink emptied and all that was left was his shadow. He bore it in the bags under his eyes, the ache in his muscles, the distant look that had settled into his face.
And yet, no matter how hard he pushed, how much he gave, it never felt like enough.
His life looked like a dream from the outside. The penthouse apartment. The cars. The designer suits. The headlines. The cheers. But inside, it all felt empty. Like he was moving through a world made of glass, afraid to breathe too hard in case it shattered.
He tried to fill the void. With late nights and loud music. With drinks and shallow company. With bodies that meant nothing, tangled in his sheets, saying all the right things in the moment and disappearing before morning. But when the sun rose, so did the silence. And the ache.
It was always there.
The ache of being needed, but not known. The ache of being seen, but not understood.
Quinn carried the team like a secret. He never wanted the credit. Just the weight. He thought maybe if he carried enough of it, he could finally prove something—to himself, to the critics, to the kid he used to be who dreamt of the NHL and didn’t know how lonely dreams could become.
He watched the city pass him by from his window. Rain streaked the glass. The clouds hung low. Everything was tinted in shades of grey. His phone buzzed from the counter. Another text. Another obligation. He ignored it.
Sometimes, he wished he could disappear for a while. Not forever. Just long enough to remember who he was beneath the layers. Beneath the jersey, the title, the expectations. He didn’t even know what he liked outside of hockey anymore. Who was he when he wasn’t on the ice?
He closed his eyes and tried to remember the last time he laughed—really laughed. The kind that made your chest ache and your eyes water. The kind that felt free. Unfiltered. Nothing came.
He hadn’t laughed in a long time.
He had teammates. He had family. He had people. But the truth was, Quinn Hughes felt more alone now than he ever had in his life. And he didn’t know how to ask for help.
He didn’t know how to say that the pressure was crushing him. That every game felt like walking a tightrope with no net. That every loss carved something deeper into his chest. That sometimes he stood under the shower for an hour just to feel something real.
There was no off switch. No escape. He was Captain Hughes now. He had to be calm. Composed. Controlled.
But inside, he was drowning.
There were moments, late at night, when he’d walk the seawall alone with a hoodie pulled over his head and his breath fogging in front of him. Moments when he’d sit by the water and wonder what life would be like if he weren’t Quinn Hughes. If he were just... someone. Anyone. Free to feel without the fear of letting someone down.
Because that’s what it always came back to: letting people down.
He thought of his brothers. Jack with his bright smile and boundless energy. Luke with his quiet brilliance. They looked up to him. They always had. And that scared him more than anything. Because what if they saw the cracks? What if they saw how tired he was? What if they saw that some days, he didn’t want to lace up his skates? That some days, he resented the game that had given him everything and taken just as much in return?
He hated that part of himself. The part that felt bitter. Burnt out. Hollow.
He turned from the window, the sky outside darkening with the promise of another cold Vancouver night. The apartment felt too quiet. Too sterile. He poured a drink, not because he wanted one, but because it gave his hands something to do. The whiskey burned down his throat. It didn’t help. It never did.
Quinn sat on the edge of his couch, elbows on his knees, the glass dangling loosely from his fingers. He stared at the floor and wondered how much longer he could keep doing this. Keep pretending. Keep performing. Keep carrying.
He wanted something different. Something real.
He didn’t know what that looked like. Not yet. But he knew what it wasn’t. It wasn’t the headlines. It wasn’t the jersey. It wasn’t the cheers that faded as quickly as they came. It wasn’t the way people only saw him when he was winning.
He wanted someone to see him when he was losing.
Really see him.
Not Captain Hughes. Not the defenseman. Not the franchise savior.
Just Quinn.
And maybe, one day, someone would.
But tonight, the only sound was the rain.
And the hollow echo of a man trying to hold himself together.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
The air inside Rogers Arena was thick with loss. It clung to the walls, to the empty seats, to the damp gear hanging in open lockers. The kind of silence that followed a season-ending defeat was unlike any other. It wasn’t loud. It was heavier than that. A kind of grief that pressed itself into the bones of the room, into the stitching of the jerseys, into the very air itself. And in the middle of it all, alone under the dim fluorescent lights of the locker room, Quinn Hughes sat perfectly still, still in full gear.
His skates were unlaced but still on. His gloves, damp with sweat and frustration, sat clenched between his knees. The rest of the team had long cleared out—some silent, others trying to shake it off with forced laughter and hollow reassurances. Quinn hadn’t moved. His eyes were locked on the floor, seeing everything and nothing all at once. The same square of tile beneath his skates stared back at him like it had answers he’d never find.
The Canucks had missed the playoffs.
Again.
He ran through every moment of the game like a looped reel in his head. The fumbled breakout. The missed stick lift. The turnover in the second period that shifted the momentum. The bad line change. The penalty that cost them the equalizer. What if he had blocked that shot? What if he had skated faster? Thought quicker? Passed sharper?
What if he was just better?
It was always him. He could’ve done more. He should’ve.
He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, his head cradled in his hands like it was the only thing keeping it from splitting apart. The weight of his helmet pressed into his forehead, the hard shell biting into his skin, but he didn’t take it off. It felt safer somehow, like a shield between him and the failure echoing in his bones. His fingers gripped at his hair through the fabric of his gloves before letting go, too tired to even hold himself together. His breathing was shallow, each inhale an effort, like even his lungs didn’t want to take up space. The room felt massive and shrinking all at once, like the walls were closing in on him while stretching into an infinite, hollow void. His pulse thundered in his ears, louder than the silence, louder than the thoughts shouting in his head. And still, he didn’t move. Couldn’t. Because moving meant facing it. And right now, he wasn’t sure he could survive that.
They made a mistake.
Not just naming him captain.
Drafting him.
Quinn didn’t know when those thoughts started to grow roots in his chest, but they were in full bloom now. What if he was a bust? A wasted draft pick? All this time, everyone talked about his skating, his vision, his composure—but what did any of that matter if he couldn’t get his team there? If he couldn’t lead them?
What if he was never meant to be enough?
What if he peaked too early?
He slowly peeled off his gloves and dropped them to the floor with a soft thud that echoed louder than it should have in the empty locker room. His fingers trembled, tingling from the cold sweat that had long dried against his palms. The ache in his knuckles pulsed like a second heartbeat. He flexed them slowly, like the pain might root him back into his body.
He stared at the gloves for a moment, his chest tightening. They looked so small on the floor. So defeated. Just like him.
He exhaled shakily, the sound catching in his throat. Then he braced himself against the bench and pushed himself up. His legs screamed in protest, muscles stiff and bruised from the game, from the season, from everything. The weight of his gear felt unbearable now. The jersey that once filled him with pride now felt suffocating, like it was pressing down on every bone.
His shoulder pads creaked as he moved, the Velcro at his sides sticking stubbornly as if even his equipment didn’t want to let go. The familiar routine of undressing after a game felt foreign. Wrong. His body went through the motions, but everything inside him was numb. Disconnected.
He didn’t bother taking off the rest. Just the gloves. Just enough to stand. Enough to move.
And so, step by step, like a sleepwalker, he drifted toward the showers. Not with purpose. Not even with intent. Just the instinct to hide somewhere the world couldn’t see him fall apart.
The water hit his skin, hot at first, then numb. Steam rose around him, curling into the air, catching the yellow of the overhead lights. He leaned his forearm against the tile and rested his head against it, eyes shut tight. His breath stuttered.
And then the tears came.
They ran down his cheeks, hot and quiet, blending seamlessly with the water cascading from the showerhead. He didn’t sob. He didn’t make a sound. He just cried. The kind of crying you didn’t even know you were doing until it had already broken through. His shoulders trembled under the pressure of all he carried, all he never said aloud.
He didn’t know how to do this anymore.
He didn’t know how to keep pretending.
How to wear the 'C' like it didn’t burn his chest.
How to keep skating when he was skating on empty.
He stayed under the water until it ran cold, until his skin was numb and his chest felt hollow, the ache in his sternum blooming deeper with each passing second. The icy spray carved through the steam and sliced against his shoulders, but still, he stood there. Rigid. Breathless. Hoping that if he just stayed a little longer, it would rinse away the guilt, the weight, the disappointment he carried like a second skin.
He tilted his face toward the stream, letting it pour down over him, blinding his eyes and filling his ears until the world outside was muffled into nothing. He wished it could drown everything out. The voices. The headlines. The pressure. The relentless whisper in his own head telling him he was a failure. That he’d let everyone down. That he was just pretending.
When he finally moved, it was mechanical. He reached for a towel without looking, barely registering the shivers that had taken over his body. Each motion was slow, deliberate, like his limbs were moving through molasses. He got dressed without looking in the mirror—he couldn't bear to. Not tonight. Not when all he would see was hollow eyes and the wreckage of who he used to be.
The locker room was even quieter now, echoing with emptiness. He grabbed his keys from his cubby and made his way down the hall, his footsteps the only sound bouncing off the concrete walls. The back exit opened with a metallic click, and he stepped out into the cold embrace of the night, where even the air seemed to exhale with grief.
He drove through downtown Vancouver like a ghost. The city glowed with artificial life—streetlights, neon signs, headlights weaving through traffic. His hands gripped the steering wheel tight, knuckles pale. He turned off the music. He couldn’t stand the sound. Not tonight.
When he pulled into the underground parking lot beneath his building, he didn’t move right away. He stared at the elevator doors, engine ticking as it cooled. His eyes burned.
Then, slowly, he shifted the gear into park, turned off the ignition, and stepped out.
But he didn’t go to the elevator.
He walked. Back up the ramp, through the quiet lobby. Past the sleeping doorman and out the revolving door. Into the cool night, where the mist clung to his hair and the scent of the sea drifted in from the harbor.
His feet took him to the waterfront without thinking.
He sat down on a bench facing the water, a familiar spot tucked just far enough from the streetlights to feel hidden—like the world had deliberately carved out a pocket for solitude. He didn't need light. Not tonight. He needed the shadows, the quiet, the place where he could unravel without the risk of being seen. The night stretched out before him like a great velvet curtain, draped in shades of sorrow.
The moon hung low and full, its glow casting a pale sheen across the surface of the harbor, soft and eerie like a whisper. The light shimmered on the dark water like spilled silver, rippling with every subtle breath of the breeze. It felt like something ancient was watching—not judging, just witnessing. Bearing quiet testimony to the ache in his chest.
Waves lapped quietly against the edge, a rhythm too soft to offer comfort, but enough to remind him that time was still moving even when he wasn't. Even when it felt like everything inside him had come to a halt. His breath came slow and fogged in the cold air, a small trace of life in a body that felt otherwise hollow.
Across the harbor, the city looked like it was sleeping. The lights in the high-rises twinkled like constellations behind glass, but there was no warmth in them. They were cold and distant, a mockery of connection. From here, the skyline looked soft, like someone had taken an eraser to its sharp edges—like the whole world had blurred, and he was the only thing left in focus.
There was no one else around. No footsteps. No voices. Just Quinn and the darkness and the distant, indifferent city. No hum of conversation. No rattle of a bike chain. No hint of movement on the quiet street behind him. Just the low thrum of the city breathing somewhere far away, out of reach.
The silence wasn’t peaceful. It was vast. Cold. Like standing in the middle of a frozen lake with nothing but the creaking ice beneath your feet. The kind of silence that made every heartbeat echo too loud, every breath feel like a scream in a cathedral.
And in that space between heartbeats, he let himself sink into the stillness. It wasn’t comfort he found there, but a numbness that offered a temporary shield from the thoughts clawing at the edges of his mind. He didn’t cry. Didn’t breathe deeply. He didn’t feel worthy of either.
He just existed. Quiet and alone. A silhouette on a bench, washed in moonlight and regret. A man with the weight of a city on his shoulders, with no one to help him carry it.
And somehow, that felt like both a punishment and a mercy. Because in that solitude, at least he didn’t have to pretend. At least out here, in the dark, he could stop performing for a world that only loved him when he was winning.
Quinn slouched forward, hands clasped together, his breath visible in the air. He stared at the reflection, wishing he could fall into it. Dissolve into the dark and start over. Be someone else.
The thoughts returned.
What if he never lived up to who he was supposed to be? What if he let everyone down? His team. His family. Himself.
He pressed his fists to his eyes.
He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t even sure he ever had been.
He didn’t see her at first. His eyes were still on the water, lost in thought, in shame, in questions that never seemed to end. The world around him had blurred, dulled to nothing but the rhythmic lapping of the tide and the slow rise and fall of his breath. The bench, the ground, the sky—it all felt far away. He was so deep inside himself that the rest of the world ceased to exist. So when the wooden slats shifted just slightly beneath him, when the gentle weight of another person settled quietly on the far side of the bench, it felt more like a ripple than a presence. A shift in the atmosphere. A soft reminder that he wasn’t, in fact, entirely alone in the dark.
A girl had sat down beside him.
She wore a grey sweater, hood pulled up over short brown hair. Her hands were folded tightly in her lap, her shoulders drawn in like she was trying to take up less space. She didn’t look at him. Her gaze was fixed straight ahead, on the water, on the moonlight that shimmered across it.
Her eyes were glassy. She’d been crying.
Despite choosing to sit on the only occupied bench in a stretch of empty ones, she didn’t acknowledge him. It was almost like she didn’t even register that he was there. Or maybe she had—and chose not to care. She made no shift to the side, no polite nod, no glance of curiosity or apology. She just sat, arms crossed tightly around herself, a human question mark curled inward.
Her shoulders were hunched so tightly it looked like she was folding into herself, like she wanted to disappear. The kind of posture that said: don’t look at me, don’t ask, don’t speak. Her body language broadcasted it louder than words ever could. She didn’t seem to want to be seen, and yet she had come to this exact bench, as if drawn by some unspoken gravity.
She just sat there, staring at the water like it held answers. Like if she stared hard enough, long enough, the waves might part and whisper something she needed to hear. Something to make staying feel like less of a mistake.
And Quinn didn’t say anything either.
For a long time, they sat in silence.
The kind of silence that wasn’t awkward. Just heavy. Weighted with things neither of them could say. The occasional car drove by behind them, its tires hissing on the wet road. Somewhere nearby, a gull cried out and the water lapped softly against the shore. It was the only sound that felt honest.
He didn’t know who she was.
But she looked like she was drowning too.
Ava Monroe had never meant to sit on that bench.
She had never meant to be anywhere at all, not tonight.
The fight with her mom had been brutal. Ugly. The kind of words that didn’t just hurt—they hollowed her out. Scarred deeper than fists ever could. Ava had gone to her mother out of desperation, aching for some kind of connection, some shred of maternal warmth, a single thread to hold onto. But all she got was venom, sharp and cold and unforgiving.
The words weren't just cruel—they were confirmation. Confirmation that every terrible thing she had ever believed about herself was true. That she was a burden. That she wasn’t wanted. That she wasn’t enough. Her mother’s voice didn’t just echo in the room—it rooted itself in her chest, in the hollow spaces already carved out by years of neglect and silence. It made her feel microscopic. Like her existence had always been some colossal inconvenience.
Ava left that house feeling like a ghost. Like a girl made of glass. Each step home felt heavier, more meaningless. There was nothing left in her—no fire, no fight, not even the quiet defiance she used to carry just to get through the day. She felt like she didn’t belong anywhere, not even in her own skin. Like the world had gone on without her a long time ago, and she’d only just realized it.
"You’ll never be enough."
"You ruined everything."
"You were a mistake."
The words sliced her open, deep and surgical, with a precision only a mother could wield. She didn’t flinch. Didn’t argue. Didn’t cry. She just stood there, frozen in place, absorbing every blow like a sponge, letting it soak through her until she was heavy with shame. It was like watching her own soul disintegrate in real-time. Her hands hung limp at her sides. Her heart didn’t even race—it just slowed, like it had given up trying.
She moved on instinct, her body carrying her out the door and down the street like she was sleepwalking, like something detached had taken over and was pulling the strings for her. The city was buzzing around her, but she didn’t hear it. Didn’t see it. She was a shell.
When she got back to her apartment, the lights were too bright. Too artificial. They revealed too much, illuminated all the places inside her that were cracked and bleeding. She walked past the mirror without looking. She knew what she'd see: nothing. Just hollow eyes. A stranger.
And then she saw the bottle. It was just sitting there. Quiet. Waiting.
She picked it up.
Stared at it.
Her hand shook as she unscrewed the cap. She poured them out into her palm, white tablets spilling like tiny bones into the center of her hand. The weight of them felt enormous. Final.
She sat on the floor, cold and silent, and stared at her shaking hands. Her breathing came shallow, like the room had been drained of oxygen. Her thoughts were louder than ever, a storm behind her eyes: You’re a failure. A disappointment. A mistake. Unlovable.
The silence was so total, it felt like the world had already moved on without her.
And for one long, harrowing moment, she almost let go.
She shook them gently, the pills rattling like distant thunder in the quiet room—a sound so small, yet impossibly loud in the silence.
Her fingers shook.
Her breathing was shallow, barely there, each inhale catching like her lungs had to think twice before choosing to keep going. The silence in the apartment pressed against her ears, not soft or gentle, but brutal—the kind of silence that made your skin crawl, like the walls were whispering all the things you were too afraid to say out loud.
It was too quiet. Too still. Like the world had stopped moving just to watch her unravel. The ticking of the clock felt like a taunt, counting down a life she didn’t want to keep living. Her heart didn’t feel like it beat anymore—it thudded, dull and mechanical, like a broken metronome.
Everything inside her felt empty and echoing, like she had become a hollow thing, carved out piece by piece by the people who were supposed to love her. She didn’t even cry. There weren’t tears left. Just a vast, suffocating stillness, as if even grief had abandoned her now.
But something stopped her.
A voice she couldn’t name. A feeling in her chest. Like someone was holding her wrist. Telling her to wait. To breathe.
She put the pills back in the bottle.
Put on her sweater.
Walked.
And now she was here.
Sitting beside a stranger.
Alive, but unsure why.
She didn’t know who he was. Didn’t care. All she knew was that he was as still as she was. As broken. That something about the way he stared at the water made her feel less alone.
They didn’t speak.
But their silence was the loudest thing either of them had heard all night.
Minutes passed. Maybe an hour. Neither of them moved.
Quinn glanced at her. Just once.
And for a second, she met his eyes.
Just a second.
But in that second, he saw her pain. She saw his.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, they both breathed a little deeper.
Together.
The night didn’t fix anything. It didn’t heal them. But it didn’t break them further, either.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
That night, they didn’t fall apart.
They just... sat. And survived.
Side by side.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Quinn looked across to her one more time.
Really looked.
It wasn’t just the way the moonlight framed her face or the way her sweater hung like armor against the night. It was the stillness in her body, the haunting in her eyes. There was something about her—something not loud, not obvious—but deeply known. A ghost of a memory wrapped in velvet pain. A shape he hadn’t seen in years but still knew by name, as if she'd been waiting on the periphery of his life all along.
His eyes traced the soft outline of her jaw, delicate and trembling like it held back a thousand words. The faint sheen of dried tears clung stubbornly to her cheeks, catching the moonlight like salt-crusted silver. But it was her expression that stunned him. That deep, quiet devastation. The kind of brokenness people learn to wear like perfume—undetectable unless you’ve worn it too. She didn’t just look sad. She looked emptied. As if she’d bled out every last feeling and was only now discovering what it meant to be a shell.
And the way she held herself, shoulders slumped like her bones could no longer carry the weight of being alive—it almost looked rehearsed. Like she'd practiced disappearing. Like she’d spent years perfecting the art of looking okay while silently screaming.
And then it clicked.
Of course he knew who she was.
Her last name was practically stamped into every corner of the city.
Monroe.
David Monroe. Real estate titan. Investor. Philanthropist. A name stitched into the very fabric of the city. His empire touched everything—commercial towers, luxury condos, high-profile foundations. And the Canucks? They were just another line on his ledger. A silent but steady benefactor of the organization, his influence loomed like the skyline his company had helped build. Every player knew that name. You couldn’t be part of the team without brushing shoulders with the Monroes.
Every year, they hosted a lavish charity gala—an affair of such extravagance that even seasoned veterans couldn’t hide their discomfort. Held in a grand ballroom glittering with crystal chandeliers and lined with tables draped in silk, the event was a performance of wealth and image. Silver champagne trays floated between guests, the air filled with the soft clinking of crystal flutes and rehearsed laughter. The players would show up in tuxedos, practice their media smiles in the car, and take photos for the press like it all meant something. They thanked the Monroes with polite handshakes and obligatory small talk, careful not to overstep, careful to appear grateful.
It was the kind of night where everything sparkled, except the people who had to pretend to belong there.
Quinn remembered her father clearly.
David Monroe was the one standing on stage, smiling beside ownership and management, when Quinn first pulled on the Canucks jersey on draft night. A handshake, a picture. Flashbulbs. Cheers. Everything about that moment had felt like a coronation. Quinn Hughes, savior of the franchise. Golden boy.
But he didn’t remember seeing her.
Not until now.
And now that he had—he couldn’t unsee her. Ava Monroe, the invisible girl behind the empire. The one who should've glowed under the same lights, been photographed on red carpets, toasted by men in suits, wrapped in everything that came with a name like hers. But she hadn’t. Somehow, she had slipped through the cracks of her own legacy, choosing shadows over chandeliers. Sitting beside him now, she looked like a ghost aching to be felt, not seen—like someone who had spent her whole life being too visible in the wrong ways and invisible in all the ways that mattered.
There was a haunting in her presence, the kind that made you want to apologize without knowing what for. And Quinn did. He wanted to say sorry for a world that forgot her. For a father who used her last name like currency while letting his daughter starve for affection. For the cameras that had never panned her way. For the years she must've spent wondering if her life was even her own.
And then, just as the recognition settled into his bones, she looked up.
Tear-stained eyes. Silent. Red-rimmed.
And she knew.
Of course she did.
Quinn Hughes. The prodigy. The captain. The promise.
The man who was meant to lift the city. To carry its hopes like a crown and wear its failures like chains. To lead the team through the fire and still emerge smiling. To be the one who fixed everything, even when he was the one silently falling apart. He was the face on the banners, the name in the headlines, the reason kids wore number 43 jerseys. And no one ever stopped to ask what that weight might be doing to the boy underneath it all.
She blinked at him, slowly, and something passed between them—something unspoken and deeply human, like the kind of look you give someone when you both know what it means to want to disappear. A silent understanding that didn’t need translation. A breath of shared grief, heavy and unrelenting, that wrapped around them like a fog neither of them could escape. In that fragile second, it was like they were looking into a mirror made of pain—different stories, different scars, but the same hollow ache behind their eyes. The world didn’t shift around them, but something inside did. Something wordless and aching that whispered, I see you. I feel it too.
Both of them had grown up being told they were meant for greatness.
Both of them knew what it felt like to suffocate under that weight.
Both of them were breaking.
The emptiness echoed between them like a heartbeat. A soundless ache that needed no explanation.
And then, after a pause that felt like it stretched out forever, Quinn swallowed hard, the tension in his jaw finally giving way. He turned his body slightly toward her, hesitant, uncertain, but needing to say something before the silence drowned them both.
"I—"
His voice cracked, and he had to start again.
"I don’t know if I’m good enough for this," he said quietly, almost like he was confessing it to the ocean. "I don’t know if I’m good enough for anything. At all. And I feel like I’m slowly falling apart and breaking."
The words sat in the air, raw and trembling.
She didn’t respond. Not with words.
A tear slipped down her cheek. Another.
"My, uh... my thought was that this would be my last night," She said, her voice barely a whisper. Her voice was thin. A ghost of itself. "It almost was."
Quinn’s breath hitched, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t.
She looked down at her hands, still clenched tightly in her lap, knuckles white. The air around them suddenly felt sharper, like the world had stilled to listen.
Quinn turned his head just slightly, not wanting to push, but needing to hear her.
Ava swallowed hard, her throat raw. "I had them all in my hand. The pills. I sat on the floor of my bedroom, staring at them. And for a second, it was the only thing that made sense. Like I could finally stop the screaming inside my head. Like I could finally rest."
She took a shaky breath, then another, like her lungs were relearning how to function. Her voice was a flicker, something barely lit. "But I didn’t. I don’t know why. Something in me—some tiny, quiet part that still believed in something—just... wouldn’t let me. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was hope. Maybe it was nothing more than habit. But I couldn’t do it. My hand was trembling so hard I thought I was going to drop everything."
Her stare fell distant, glassed over again. "I was sitting there, on the floor, holding my life in one hand and everything I hated about myself in the other. And all I could think was... no one would notice. Not really. My phone wouldn’t ring. No one would come looking. The world would keep spinning and I’d just be another girl who didn’t make it. And for a moment, that felt like peace."
She paused, her voice breaking on the next exhale. "But then something happened. Something I can’t explain. Like the tiniest part of me screamed. Like my own soul refused to be snuffed out without one final fight. I put the pills back. I stood up. I walked out the door. I didn’t even grab a coat. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew if I stayed one second longer, I wasn’t going to make it."
Her eyes finally flicked up, not to look at him, but past him, to the water. "So I ended up here. Still breathing. But not really living. Just... floating. Empty. I didn’t want to be found. I just didn’t want to disappear without someone knowing I was ever here in the first place."
The words hung between them, bare and bleeding. A confession not meant to earn comfort, just to be heard.
She didn’t cry when she said it. She sounded hollow. Like she’d already cried all the tears there were to cry.
And Quinn didn’t speak.
He just listened.
Because he knew what it felt like to be so tired of being alive that even breathing felt like a burden.
The honesty clung to the air like smoke. Fragile. Heavy.
Another tear traced the curve of Ava's face. But she still didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. Her silence said enough. It said: Me too.
And maybe that was the first moment they truly understood each other. Not because of their names. Not because of who they were supposed to be. But because beneath all of that—the legacies, the expectations, the titles—they were just two broken people whose pain happened to echo at the same frequency. Two souls who had come to the water's edge not to find answers, but to surrender. And yet, somehow, they'd collided. Quietly. Gently. Without ceremony. Just a breath between strangers who were anything but.
Their silence wasn’t passive—it was deliberate. Thick with everything they couldn’t say. A communion of ghosts sitting side by side. Each aching, each unraveling, each choosing not to fall apart simply because the other was still sitting there. Still breathing.
And in that aching silence, something passed between them—not a promise, not a rescue, but a thread. Fragile. Unspoken. I see you. I feel it too.
As if pulled by gravity, they shifted.
Slowly. Quietly. As if afraid to shatter whatever had taken root between them.
They moved closer.
Ava’s shoulder brushed Quinn’s.
The contact was barely there, but it was enough. Enough to ground them both.
Quinn didn’t flinch.
Neither did Ava.
That small touch, that simple warmth, threaded something through them—a fragile thread of safety in a world that had offered them nothing but cold.
It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t dramatic. It was real.
Their bodies didn’t shift again. They didn’t hug. They didn’t hold hands. They just sat, shoulder to shoulder, their pain seeping into one another, until it didn’t feel so sharp. So singular.
They were two souls trapped under the same foot of pressure.
Two hearts with too many cracks.
Two people who had spent years suffocating in silence, and somehow found breath in each other.
Ava closed her eyes and leaned just slightly into his side. Not enough to be a plea. Just enough to say, I’m still here.
Quinn stayed still. But his head dipped ever so slightly in her direction. His shoulder curved toward hers. His eyes remained on the water, but his thoughts were finally somewhere else.
And in that moment, they both felt it.
A shift.
The beginning of something neither of them had words for.
A presence. A tether. A reason.
They sat like that for a long time. The world moved on without them—cars passed, waves rose and fell, the city lights blinked in patterns too fast to follow. But they didn’t move.
Minutes turned into hours.
The pain didn’t disappear. But it dulled. Muted.
Like someone had finally lit a candle in the dark.
And though they didn’t say another word, they didn’t need to.
The silence had changed.
It was no longer a void.
It was a shelter.
And sometimes, that was enough to begin again.
Just as the wind picked up, brushing past them like the breath of something ancient, Quinn turned his head slightly toward her. His voice was soft, barely there. "I see you," he said. Three words, but they felt like a lighthouse cutting through fog.
Ava didn’t answer right away. But her breath hitched, and then steadied. She turned her gaze to him slowly, her eyes tired, but no longer empty. "I see you too," she whispered.
They didn’t say anything else. There was nothing left to say. So they leaned gently into each other, the contact quiet but constant, and let the silence settle around them like a blanket.
The night stretched long, and the darkness never lifted, but they stayed. Two shadows on a bench, side by side.
And somehow, that night—that fragile, fleeting night—was enough for them to choose to stay a little longer in the world.
Enough to make it through one more sunrise.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
The first light of dawn broke slowly, as if unsure whether it was welcome. It crept over the horizon in soft hues—faded gold, gentle blush, the faintest whisper of blue. The waves caught it first, the gentle lapping of water at the harbor edge shimmering like liquid gold. Then the sky followed, spreading it across the city like the slow reveal of a secret.
Neither of them had moved.
Quinn and Ava sat shoulder to shoulder on that old wooden bench, the air around them still heavy with the weight of everything that had passed between them. It wasn’t the kind of silence that screamed. It was the kind that exhaled—soft, worn, exhausted. The kind that said, you’re still here, and so am I.
The cold had settled into their bones, deep and aching, but they hadn’t noticed. Not really. Because something warmer had wrapped itself around them, invisible but steady. A shared understanding, a tether. The gravity of the night had forged something fragile and indelible between them—something they didn’t understand yet but felt all the same.
The silence between them had shifted from one of pain to one of comfort. From a quiet cry for help to a quiet offering of presence. No more apologies. No need for explanation. Just breath in the cold. The subtle rhythm of two people choosing, again and again, not to leave. Shared breath. Shared survival. And in that stillness, the beginning of something neither of them could name, but both of them needed.
The sunrise wasn’t beautiful. It was quiet. Muted. The kind of sunrise that didn’t demand attention, just offered presence. There were no vivid streaks of fire across the sky, no brilliant crescendo of colors. Just a slow, tender brightening. The world easing itself into wakefulness. It rose like a sigh—tired, cautious, and real.
And that, somehow, felt perfect.
Because that morning wasn’t about beauty. It wasn’t about spectacle. It was about surviving the night. About making it through the hardest hours and finding, somehow, that the sky still turned. That the sun still rose. That breath still came.
The light didn’t feel triumphant. It felt earned. Like something cracked open quietly and let the day slip in.
Quinn shifted slightly, straightening his back with a quiet exhale. He rubbed at his face, the exhaustion of the night finally catching up to him. Ava followed, stretching out her legs, feeling the pins and needles in her feet as blood returned to limbs left too still for too long. Her fingers flexed slowly, grounding herself back into her body.
They didn’t speak.
There was no need.
What could they say that hadn’t already been said in silence?
Instead, they exchanged a glance. A quiet, reverent thing. A moment of mutual understanding that needed no words. It lingered, not rushed or fleeting, but long enough to say everything that mattered. There was something sacred in it—a silent bow of gratitude, a recognition of shared survival. They didn’t smile. Didn’t cry. They just looked at each other with the kind of raw honesty that only exists after darkness has been witnessed together. It was their way of saying, I see you. Thank you for staying.
And softly, Quinn spoke again. His voice was hoarse. "I see you."
Ava met his eyes, her own rimmed with a different kind of tear this time—not despair, but something gentler. "I see you too."
It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t cinematic. But it was enough.
Ava stood first. Her body protested, stiff and cold, but she didn’t mind. She tucked her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie, glanced down at Quinn, and gave the smallest of nods. He rose with her, slower, heavier, but he stood.
They didn’t hug.
They didn’t exchange numbers.
They didn’t make promises.
They just parted ways.
She walked one way, toward the edge of downtown, her steps slow, as if her body was still catching up to the weight of what had just happened. The hoodie swallowed her small frame, the sleeves too long, her hands still hidden inside them. With every step, she felt the echo of their silence, the comfort of it, trailing behind her like a ghost she wasn’t quite ready to let go of.
He walked the other, toward the towers he called home, his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched, not from the cold but from something deeper—an ache, a lingering presence pressed into the slope of his spine. The bench faded behind them, but the feeling of it stayed—like warmth that lingered long after the fire had gone out.
The city slowly came alive around them—joggers blinking against the light, dog walkers tugging sleepy pups along wet sidewalks, the hum of traffic stirring awake. The world resumed its rhythm as if nothing had happened, as if two broken souls hadn’t just sat in the quiet and saved each other without saying so.
And neither of them looked back.
But both of them carried it. That night. That moment. That bench. A memory soft and sacred, stitched into the fabric of their morning.
They didn’t need to say it aloud. There was an unspoken agreement between them now. A silent pact forged in the dark: this night belonged to no one else. It was not for telling. Not for sharing. It was theirs. Only theirs.
And somehow, that knowledge was enough to steady their steps.
That should’ve been the end.
But it wasn’t.
Because somehow, a week later, they both ended up back at that same bench.
It wasn’t planned. Neither of them expected it. Quinn had taken the long way home after a game, a loss that twisted in his chest like a knife and refused to loosen its grip. His body ached, but not from the ice—from the weight of the night, the disappointment of another failed attempt at being enough. He didn’t want to go back to his apartment. The silence there wasn’t just silence; it was sharp, punishing, an echo chamber of regret. The lights were always too bright when he walked in. The air always too still. The emptiness too honest.
So he drove with no destination, his hands on the wheel but his thoughts miles away. His chest heavy. His eyes burning. He didn’t know where he was going until he got there.
That bench.
The one that had held him when he couldn’t hold himself.
The one where someone had seen him and stayed.
And Ava—she hadn’t planned it either. But she couldn’t stay in that house. Not after the latest fight. Not after hearing the same accusations echo off the walls. Not after being told she was ungrateful. Spoiled. A waste.
She had walked out into the night without a destination. Without a plan. Just a desperate need to breathe. To exist somewhere her pain wasn’t questioned or ignored. She didn’t know where her feet were taking her. Only that she needed to follow them.
And like something pulled from a quiet promise, from the magnetic pull of shared grief, they ended up there. As if the bench itself remembered them—held their pain from nights before, waited patiently beneath the city’s noise for their return. It wasn’t just a coincidence. It felt fated, like a hidden current in the universe had gently ushered them back to each other, back to that sliver of peace they had carved together in the dark. A place that didn’t demand anything but presence. A place that somehow knew what they needed before they did. They arrived without purpose, without preparation, but their steps mirrored the same ache, the same longing—to not be alone with the weight they carried. To be met in the middle of their ache without question. And again, the bench made room. Again, they sat. Together.
At the bench.
At the edge of the world.
Within minutes of each other.
Their eyes met.
Quinn’s breath caught.
Ava’s shoulders, tight with tension, eased.
She sat first.
He followed.
And that night, they stayed until the stars faded.
It became a rhythm. An unspoken routine.
They never texted. Never called. Never asked, will you be there?
But somehow, they always were.
Maybe not every night. But often enough that the bench no longer felt like just a bench. It became something sacred. A place of reckoning. Of retreat. Of quiet rebuilding.
They brought coffee sometimes. Wore warmer clothes. Sometimes one would arrive to find the other already waiting, and nothing needed to be said. The presence alone was enough. Familiar. Reassuring.
And each night, they shared a little more.
Quinn spoke about the pressure of being captain. Not in the way reporters asked about it, but in the way it sat on his chest at 2 a.m., making it hard to breathe. He talked about the fear of failure. The guilt of losing. The exhaustion of being everything to everyone and still feeling like nothing to himself.
Ava listened. Not as a fan. Not as a girl dazzled by his fame. But as someone who knew what it meant to crumble. To carry weight you never asked for.
And Ava, in turn, spoke of her loneliness. Of growing up in a house full of noise but no warmth. Of disappearing behind her father’s money, behind her mother’s scorn. Of wanting, so desperately, to be loved without condition.
Quinn didn’t offer advice. He didn’t tell her to be strong. He just listened. Sat with her in the stillness. Let her be.
And so it went.
Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they didn’t. Some nights were filled with stories, confessions, tiny truths whispered into the dark. Other nights, they just sat side by side in silence, their presence saying everything their mouths couldn’t.
They didn’t touch. Not beyond the occasional brush of shoulders. Not beyond the quiet comfort of nearness. It wasn’t about that.
It was about knowing.
About being seen.
About sharing pain without having to relive it.
They came as Quinn and Ava. Not the captain burdened by expectations and headlines. Not the heiress veiled in privilege and shadowed by neglect. Just two souls stripped of their titles, peeled back to their most human selves. Two people with fractures in their bones and too much weight in their hearts—weight that made it hard to breathe some days, impossible to stand on others. And yet, they stood. Or sat. Or simply were. They didn’t need to perform. They didn’t need to impress. They didn’t need to be anything more than exactly what they were in those moments: quiet, unraveling, healing. The bench didn’t care about what jerseys they wore or whose name came on checks. It welcomed them as they were. And together, they began to stitch the pieces of themselves into something new—not flawless, but whole in a different kind of way.
And little by little, something began to shift.
The bench became a bridge.
They laughed sometimes. Quiet, soft laughter. The kind that didn’t echo, just lingered in the air like a promise. It wasn’t loud or forced—it was shy at first, like they were rediscovering what it meant to feel light for even a second. Ava would tell him about old books she loved, the ones with pages yellowed from being read too many times, stories that had been her escape when the world felt too cruel. She’d describe the characters like friends, like pieces of herself she never knew how to share until now.
Quinn would talk about skating. Not just the game, but the movement. The way it felt to glide when the world grew too heavy, how the ice made sense when nothing else did. He spoke about the quiet before a puck dropped, the clarity in motion, how for just a few seconds, everything else fell away and he could breathe. Sometimes he brought her old playlists from the locker room, laughing about the bad ones, smiling over the ones that stuck. Ava once brought him a thermos of chamomile tea because she said it smelled like peace. They didn’t make it a big deal. But he drank every drop.
Some nights she’d bring a book and read aloud, her voice soft and even, Quinn listening with his eyes closed, as if the sound alone was enough to stitch something inside him back together. Some nights he’d point out constellations, giving them wrong names on purpose just to make her roll her eyes and laugh, really laugh—head tipped back, teeth showing, that rare kind of laugh that healed something hidden.
They didn’t need plans. Just the bench. Just each other. And the quiet joys they built, one breath at a time.
And the pain didn’t vanish.
But it changed.
Because now, they weren’t carrying it alone.
They were still broken.
But broken didn’t mean empty.
And in each other, they found space to heal.
Quietly.
Softly.
Without rush.
Without expectation.
Without fear.
The world still didn’t know about those nights. No one ever would. And that was the point.
It was theirs.
Just Quinn.
Just Ava.
Two shadows who collided at the edge of their breaking point, and stayed long enough to remember what it meant to begin again.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Eventually, they moved on from the bench.
It wasn’t sudden. It was a slow drift, like everything else between them. A natural, quiet shift from one space to another. The bench had become their place, their anchor—but like all things born from pain, it wasn’t meant to hold them forever. Healing required movement, and without realizing it, they’d begun to crave something more than the comfort of shared silence. They wanted light. Warmth. A kind of closeness that didn’t depend on the shadows.
Quinn had been pestering her for weeks.
"You haven’t seen it? Seriously? Ava, it’s the movie," he’d say with mock indignation, hand over his heart as if she’d personally offended his taste in cinema.
"I don’t know," she’d reply with a small shrug, teasing but cautious. "I’m not in the mood for something sad."
"It’s not sad. Okay, well, it kind of is. But in a good way. In a ‘you’ll cry but also feel seen’ kind of way."
He’d keep bringing it up at the end of their nights at the bench, each mention softer, more coaxing. Until one night, she sighed, smiled faintly, and said, "Fine. Let’s watch your movie."
That night, they didn’t go to the bench.
Instead, they found themselves in his apartment. It was the first time she’d been there. He had tried to tidy up beforehand, but it still looked lived in—soft piles of laundry, a few mugs on the counter, books stacked haphazardly beside the TV. It smelled like pine soap and popcorn, and it felt safe. Not perfect. Not curated. Just like him.
They sat next to each other on the couch, sharing a worn fleece blanket Quinn had pulled from the back of the couch, its corners frayed, edges soft from years of use. He’d made popcorn, which she’d half-spilled trying to get comfortable. They laughed about it, brushing kernels off the floor, her giggling melting into his quiet chuckle. The room buzzed with the easy kind of energy they didn’t get to feel often—light, open, effortless.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
They watched in silence, the kind that meant they didn’t need to fill the space between them. It was the kind of quiet that felt sacred, a quiet formed not from awkwardness but from complete ease. The room seemed to hold its breath with them, lit only by the flickering of the screen and the faint rustle of popcorn shifting in the bowl on Ava’s lap.
Occasionally, Ava would glance sideways at him, not just watching him, but seeing him. The way he leaned forward during the emotional scenes, how his hands twitched slightly during moments of tension, the way he mouthed his favorite lines as if they were prayers. He didn’t just watch the movie—he felt it, deeply, letting it thread through him like a song he knew by heart. His eyes were wide, glassy even, but soft. Focused.
He didn’t talk during it. Not once. Just sat there, wide-eyed and still, like he was living it again, like he was seeing parts of himself on the screen he didn’t often show. Every so often, his chest would rise with a slightly deeper breath, and Ava would mirror it without thinking. They were in their own quiet rhythm, bound by a story that wasn’t theirs but somehow spoke to both of them anyway. The silence between them said more than any words could have—it said, I’m here. I understand. And that was enough.
When the final scene faded and the music swelled, neither of them reached for the remote. The room sat in silence for a while, except for the soft hum of the credits and the world outside.
"You were right," Ava whispered.
Quinn didn’t look away from the screen. "Told you."
She nudged his shoulder with hers beneath the blanket, a small gesture of warmth. He glanced at her, and for a second, the smile on his face wasn’t weighed down by anything at all.
The hockey season was long over.
For a few months, the noise quieted. The headlines stilled. The fans moved on to other sports, other distractions. And Quinn—he had become visibly lighter. The stress lines in his forehead softened. The haunted look in his eyes began to fade. His days were slow. His nights were gentler. He took walks. He cooked. He laughed more.
It was like the pressure had been peeled off, even if only temporarily. He could breathe again. He could be Quinn, not Captain Hughes.
But with the end of the season came the inevitable.
Summer. And Michigan.
He hadn’t talked about it yet, not out loud. But it had been lingering. A quiet shadow at the edge of every day. A low hum behind every laugh. A weight pressing down on his chest when the nights got too still. It was the kind of thought that crept in during the softest moments—when her head was tilted back in laughter, or when she was watching the world pass outside his window with that faraway look in her eyes. The thought that he was leaving. That time was slipping through his fingers like sand, grain by grain, and soon this fragile pocket of peace they’d built would dissolve. He felt it in the silence between them. In the long pauses that stretched a little longer each day. It was a countdown, not just to his departure, but to a shift he didn’t know how to navigate. And the worst part was—he didn’t know how to tell her. How to put into words the ache of loving something so gentle and knowing it couldn’t last in this exact way forever. So he kept it tucked away, a secret pulsing in his chest, waiting for the courage to speak it out loud.
He was going home. To his family. To the lake. To the place where he could hide from the world for a while.
But not from her.
He didn’t want to leave her.
Ava had been his quiet salvation. His rock. The person who never expected him to be anything other than human. When the weight of the captaincy crushed his chest, she never once told him to be strong. She just sat with him in the dark and let him breathe. When the headlines screamed his name or fans threw blame like darts, she didn’t flinch. She didn’t care about stats, didn’t ask about press conferences, didn’t bring up hockey unless he did.
With her, he wasn’t a franchise player or a golden boy. He wasn’t a fixer of broken teams or the hope of a city. He was just Quinn—the boy who liked quiet nights, who sometimes needed to be held without asking, who laughed softly when she rolled her eyes, who listened to the same song on repeat because it made him feel less alone.
She gave him space to fall apart. To speak without being judged. To not speak at all and still be heard. She made silence feel like safety. And he needed her—more than he ever realized—because for the first time in years, he didn’t feel like he was holding the world alone. He didn’t feel like he had to.
And he knew, in that complicated, painful way, that she needed him too.
So the night after the movie, when they were sitting in the kitchen sharing a bowl of cereal at 1 a.m.—because Quinn claimed cereal always tasted better after midnight—he finally said it.
"I have to go home next week."
Ava looked up slowly, spoon halfway to her mouth.
He saw it instantly—the flicker in her eyes, the stiffening of her shoulders. She tried to smile. She tried to play it cool. But she wasn’t very good at hiding how she felt.
She dropped her head, focusing on her bowl. "Oh. Yeah. That makes sense."
Quinn hated how her voice changed when she tried to be brave.
Without thinking, he reached across the counter and touched her hand. She froze.
Then he stood and walked around to her side of the table, crouching down in front of her like he couldn’t stand the space between them any longer. And then—he hugged her.
Their first hug.
He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she buried her face in his shoulder, arms hesitating before folding around him like she was afraid he might vanish. When she finally did hold him back, it was with a grip that trembled, like she was holding onto something fragile but vital. Her hands curled into the back of his sweatshirt, and he felt her breathing grow uneven against his chest.
His fingers pressed gently into her back like he was trying to memorize the shape of her, not just physically, but emotionally—every piece of her he’d come to know and need. He didn’t want to let go. Neither did she. It was one of those moments that stretched beyond time, where the ache of goodbye wrapped itself around the warmth of presence.
They weren’t just hugging—they were trying to stay whole, just a little longer. Trying to carry the memory of this moment into the spaces where their hands wouldn’t be able to reach. And in that grip, in the silence, in the tremble of their bodies against one another, they both knew: letting go was going to feel like breaking.
He held her there for a while.
"I’ll call you every night," he murmured. "Okay? Every night. I promise."
She didn’t respond. Just nodded against his chest, but her arms tightened around him, just slightly. Like she was trying to memorize the shape of this moment, hold it in her body so she wouldn’t forget what it felt like to be needed like this. Her breath hitched once, and then again, and he could feel the way she was trying not to fall apart entirely. But she was trembling, and so was he.
And for the first time in a long time, Quinn cried. Quiet tears. The kind that slipped out without warning, catching on his lashes before falling onto the top of her head. His chest ached with the kind of sadness that didn’t shout—it simply settled, low and slow, into every part of him. He didn’t sob. He just let the tears fall, like something inside him had finally run out of ways to hold it all in.
He didn’t know how he’d be okay without her. How to wake up without her quiet texts. How to fall asleep without her voice lacing through the dark. He didn’t know how to let go of someone who had found all his broken pieces and made him feel like they weren’t something to be ashamed of. He didn’t know how to leave when every instinct in his body was screaming to stay.
So he held her tighter. As if that could freeze the clock. As if maybe, just maybe, if he held her long enough, time would pause, and they wouldn't have to say goodbye—not yet. Maybe not ever.
He kissed the top of her head. She didn’t pull away.
Michigan was quiet.
It was green and warm, the trees stretching overhead like old friends. The lake glistened with sunlight that bounced in a thousand directions, and his childhood home looked the same, down to the worn wooden steps and the wind chime that clinked softly when the breeze passed through. He fell back into the rhythm of home, but it didn’t feel quite the same.
His mom met him at the door with a long, wordless hug. She didn’t ask anything. Not yet.
But she saw it.
She always saw everything.
She watched him during those first few days. Not closely, not with suspicion. But with the gentle curiosity of a mother who knew her son had been hurting. She noticed the way he checked his phone constantly. The way he lingered near the window after dinner. The way his moods shifted in the evenings, how his restlessness would suddenly vanish around midnight.
She noticed the smile, too.
The one he wore when he slipped out to the dock. The one he didn’t even realize had crept onto his face.
And so, she didn’t ask.
She let him have that secret.
Each night, like clockwork, Quinn would sit on the dock with his phone pressed to his ear, feet hanging over the edge, toes brushing the cool wood worn smooth by years of childhood summers. The water below reflected moonlight like shattered glass, shifting gently with the breeze, a quiet mirror to the thoughts swirling in his head.
He would talk quietly, his voice softer than it ever was in the city. Some nights, he laughed—those rare, low laughs that came from somewhere deep, bubbling up like relief. Other nights, he spoke in hushed fragments, sometimes pausing between words just to listen to the sound of her breathing on the other end. And on some nights, they said almost nothing at all. Just stayed connected. Just were. The silence never felt empty with her. It felt held.
He would eventually lie on his back, letting the wood press into his shoulders, the lake air cool on his face. The stars above him stretched endless and quiet, like someone had thrown glitter across black velvet. His phone rested on his chest, warm against his heart, Ava's voice still ringing in his ears like a lullaby. Some nights she read to him. Some nights they made up constellations and gave them stupid names. Some nights they listened to the same song over and over again, letting the lyrics fill the spaces where words couldn’t reach.
And always, always, he stayed until the last word, the last laugh, the last breath of her presence faded into sleep. Because even from hundreds of miles away, she was the only thing that made him feel close to whole.
They talked about everything and nothing.
About books. The ones they’d read as kids, and the ones they never finished because life got in the way. About the sky—how it looked different in Michigan than it did in Vancouver, how sometimes clouds held stories and the stars made promises. About what they ate that day, even when it wasn’t exciting, even when it was just cereal or cold leftovers, because the mundane started to feel sacred when it was shared.
They talked about the ache in their chests that showed up when the world grew too quiet. About what it meant to long for someone you hadn’t known forever but who felt like home anyway. About the strange beauty of missing someone who wasn’t family, who wasn’t a lover, but who had become something more essential—like a lighthouse, like gravity, like air.
Sometimes they didn’t need words. Sometimes it was just the soft rustle of wind through his phone speaker, the distant sound of a car in the background of her call. They filled the spaces not with stories, but with the simple assurance: I’m here. I haven’t gone anywhere. And that, more than anything, kept them both afloat.
One night, he asked her to describe the bench to him.
"It’s lonely without you," she said.
He closed his eyes. "You’re not alone. I’m there. Just on the other end of the line."
And she believed him.
Other nights, he read to her. Passages from his favorite book. Descriptions of the lake. The way the water caught fire at sunset. They’d fall asleep on the phone more than once, whispering until their words faded into breath. There were no rules. Just the comfort of knowing the other was there.
His mom never interrupted. But sometimes, she’d step out onto the porch and see him there, lying on the dock, eyes full of stars. His silhouette, outlined by the faint silver of moonlight, looked younger somehow, like the boy he used to be before the world placed so much weight on his shoulders. The phone was always pressed gently to his ear, and she could see the subtle curve of a smile tugging at his lips—soft, unguarded, the kind of smile she hadn’t seen in years.
And her heart would ache in the best way. Ache because she recognized that someone, somewhere, was reaching into her son’s darkness and lighting a candle. Someone was listening to him, truly listening, in the way only people who have learned to sit with pain know how. She didn’t know what they talked about. She didn’t need to. The way his shoulders relaxed, the way his breathing slowed, the way he lingered in that same spot long after the conversations ended—all of it told her what she needed to know.
She’d watch for a moment longer, letting the quiet scene imprint itself in her memory, before stepping back inside. Because what he had out there on that dock wasn’t hers to claim or question. It was sacred, healing, his. A piece of peace she’d prayed he would find, even if it didn’t come from her.
Someone was healing her son.
Not fixing him. Not changing him.
Just holding the broken parts gently enough that they stopped hurting so much.
She didn’t need to know who it was.
But she hoped they knew what they meant to him.
And maybe, just maybe, what he meant to them.
Because when Quinn finally came back inside each night, his shoulders were lighter. His smile was softer. His eyes were clearer.
And for the first time in years, he looked like someone who believed he could be okay again.
And all because somewhere out there, someone was assembling him again.
Piece by piece.
With love that didn’t need a name yet.
With care that didn’t ask for anything in return.
And with the quiet, powerful promise of a connection strong enough to survive even the distance between them.
Quinn and Ava. Still broken, but still healing. Holding onto a thread of connection that reached across state lines and time zones, woven through whispered phone calls, unspoken understanding, and the memory of arms that didn't want to let go. They weren’t whole yet, but they didn’t need to be. Not when they had each other—soft, steady, and there. Even miles apart, they found their way back to one another, night after night, word by word, breath by breath. And that was enough. For now, that was enough.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Ava’s summer had gone differently than she’d imagined.
She had pictured long walks along the waterfront, more quiet calls with Quinn, late nights under moonlight where healing happened slowly and gently. She imagined space to breathe, mornings without pain, silence that wasn’t sharp. She had imagined peace—not total, not perfect, but something close enough to quiet the ache inside her.
But life had other plans. And it started, as it always seemed to, with her mother.
It was a Thursday night. The air outside was humid, heavy with the weight of July. The kind of heat that clung to skin and made the air taste like metal. Inside the Monroe house, the air felt even thicker. The windows were closed, the blinds drawn, and the silence had a pulse of its own—waiting, watching. Ava was curled up by her window, her favorite spot when she needed to forget where she was. She had headphones in, a playlist Quinn had made her playing softly, anchoring her to something safer, something real. The soft hum of the music, his careful curation of lyrics that understood her better than most people did, made the world feel just a little less cruel.
Until her name rang out through the house.
"Ava!"
Her mother's voice, sharp and slurred, cut through the melody like glass against skin.
The spell was broken. She sighed, carefully removing her headphones and sliding off the windowsill. She padded down the stairs on bare feet, moving like a ghost through her own home. Every movement was familiar. Predictable. This wasn’t new.
In the kitchen, her mother stood swaying, wine glass in hand, her eyes glazed with the kind of fury that had nowhere else to go. Her lipstick was smudged, her hair wild, her expression twisted with something bitter and ugly.
"What?" Ava asked, her voice neutral, steady—a mask she had learned to wear early.
"What the hell is this attitude? Don’t talk to me like that," her mother snapped, slamming the glass down on the granite counter with a sharp crack that made Ava flinch.
"I wasn’t," she replied calmly, standing her ground. "You called me. I just came down."
"God, you think you’re better than me now, huh?" her mother snarled, eyes narrowing. "Since when did you get so full of yourself? So fucking self-righteous."
Ava stood still. She could feel her heart racing, but she wouldn’t show it. Not this time.
"I don’t think I’m better than you. But I’m not going to let you keep doing this to me."
Her mother tilted her head, mock confusion bleeding into rage.
"Doing what, exactly? Raising you? Giving you a roof over your head? Feeding you?"
"No. Tearing me down. Making me feel like I was a mistake. Like I’ll never be enough. I’m not your punching bag. Not anymore."
And in that moment, the air in the room shifted—no longer merely still, but suffocating. It pressed against Ava’s chest, a living thing, thick and trembling with unspoken violence. The flicker of rage in her mother’s eyes wasn’t new; Ava had seen it before in a hundred quiet slights and shouted insults. But tonight, it looked different. Not just angry—unhinged. It crackled like static in the air, raw and unchecked, simmering beneath the surface with a force that threatened to spill over. Her mother's pupils were blown wide, her jaw clenched tight, lips curling with disgust. Something inside her had snapped, and it wasn’t going to be restrained. Ava felt it—like standing on the edge of a storm, knowing the lightning was already too close.
She moved quickly, her fingers wrapping around Ava’s wrist with a grip so tight it made her wince. Her mother’s nails dug into her skin, leaving crescents that would still ache days later. And then, before Ava could speak again—
Smack.
A hand across her face. The sound cracked through the room like a whip, sharp and unnatural, echoing off the cold tile like the slap of thunder before a storm breaks. Time slowed for a moment as the pain registered—an immediate, searing bloom that spread across her cheek like wildfire. The heat radiated outward, red and raw, and her skin stung like it had been scalded. Her eye watered involuntarily, the shock stealing her breath before the ache could even fully set in. Her body rocked with the force of it, a sway that felt more like being untethered than being struck. But she didn’t fall. She didn’t scream. She just stood there, heart pounding in her ears, a storm behind her ribs, staring into the space between pain and defiance where her voice had finally risen—and her mother had tried to silence it.
She looked up.
Straight into her mother’s face.
"You are embarrassing," she said, her voice low and controlled. "And I’m done letting you walk all over me. Maybe your life turned out shitty, but that’s not my fault. That’s yours."
Another hit. This one harder. Her head snapped sideways, pain blooming just beneath her eye. She didn’t cry. She only straightened again, breathing shallow but steady.
And then, the front door opened.
The heavy click of the latch was jarring in the silence.
"What the hell is going on?"
Her father’s voice rang out, low and commanding, but beneath it was something heavier—a tremor of disbelief, of dawning horror. David Monroe stood in the entryway, framed by the glow of the hallway light, his presence suddenly too large for the space. His suit was slightly wrinkled, the tie loosened like he’d just barely made it home, briefcase hanging forgotten in his hand. But it wasn’t the tiredness of his long day that defined him in that moment—it was the way he stood utterly still, like his world had just been cracked open. His gaze swept the room and landed on his daughter—on the redness blooming across her cheek, the bruise beneath her eye, the fear she wore like a second skin. And just like that, the tension rolled off him in waves, not from stress, but from rage—cold, deliberate, and deeply paternal. The kind of rage that only exists when you realize you’ve failed to protect what matters most.
Sally spun to face him, her expression crumbling into something falsely fragile.
"David, it’s not what it looks like, I swear! She was yelling at me—completely out of control. You know how she gets when she thinks she’s right about something. She wouldn’t stop. She kept pushing and shouting and—I didn’t know what to do! I felt threatened, David. I really did. She was coming at me, and I just—I panicked, okay? She was acting like a completely different person. I’m the one who felt unsafe in my own home. She made me feel like the villain, and all I’ve done is try to be her mother. She’s been impossible lately, and I—David, you have to believe me!"
But he wasn’t looking at her. He looked at Ava.
And he saw everything.
The flushed cheek. The swelling bruise already forming. The tear that had slipped down without her noticing. The way her wrist was still red and marked. And more than that—he saw the resignation in her eyes. The fatigue. The pain she no longer even tried to hide.
He dropped the briefcase.
"Get out."
"What? David, she—"
"I said get out."
His voice didn’t rise. It didn’t need to. It cut through the room like a blade—cold, controlled, and laced with a fury so precise it chilled the air. The stillness in it was more terrifying than any yell could ever be, because it held finality. A reckoning. It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise. A boundary drawn not in anger, but in protection. And in that silence, in that unwavering tone, the whole house seemed to hold its breath, because everyone knew: there was no coming back from this moment.
"Go pack a bag. Go to your sister’s. You are not staying here. Not after this."
Sally sputtered, tried again to protest, but it was useless. Ava didn’t even look at her.
David moved to his daughter as if on instinct, something primal and protective rising from within him that left no room for hesitation. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, and for a heartbeat she remained stiff—rigid with shock, with pain, with disbelief that this moment was even happening. But then something in her broke open, not from weakness, but from the exhaustion of holding everything in for so long. She gave in, crumpling into him like a wave folding into the shore, her hands gripping fistfuls of his shirt like a child who had waited too many years to be caught.
Her body trembled against his, and David felt it all—every sob she wouldn't let out, every bruise he hadn’t stopped, every silence he hadn’t noticed. Guilt rushed through him like ice, swift and sharp. He had failed her. Not just tonight, but for years. He’d left her in a house where her pain went unseen, unheard, unanswered. And now she was breaking in his arms and all he could do was hold her, whispering apologies he knew weren’t enough.
"I’m so sorry," he breathed, his voice thick, cracking at the edges. "God, Ava, I’m so sorry. I should have seen it. I should have known."
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. Her weight against him said everything. The way her fingers curled into his chest, desperate to hold on, desperate not to be let down again.
He tightened his grip and lowered his head, pressing it to hers as though he could somehow shield her from every blow she’d already taken. And in that moment, all he wanted was to go back—to every missed sign, every late night, every moment he hadn’t been there. But he couldn’t. So he stood there instead, rooted, holding his daughter like a lifeline, like a man trying to say with his arms what his words never could.
"I’m sorry," he whispered.
She didn’t speak. But she didn’t pull away either.
He held her tighter.
"This is over. She will never lay a hand on you again. I swear to you."
She closed her eyes. Let herself believe it. Just for a moment.
"I should have protected you," he said again. His voice cracked. "I should have been here."
And she finally spoke. Quiet. Steady.
"Then be here now."
That night, everything changed.
Sally left in a storm of haphazard packing and venomous muttering, her suitcase dragging behind her like a carcass of bitterness and regret. The sound of the wheels scraping across the tile echoed through the hall like an exorcism. When the door finally slammed shut behind her, it was as if something rancid had been purged from the walls of the house. The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was reverent. It was peace reclaiming its place after years of torment. It was the first exhale after holding your breath for too long.
David stayed by Ava’s side, almost afraid to leave the room, afraid she might disappear or that the strength she showed might crumble if she were left alone. He hovered at first, unsure, guilt still clawing at his chest. But Ava didn’t push him away. She didn’t say much. She didn’t have to. Her presence allowed his, and that was enough. He made her tea with trembling hands, fingers fumbling with the kettle like he hadn’t done something so ordinary in years. He found the first aid kit in the hallway cabinet and pressed a cold compress gently to her cheek, his touch reverent, like he was tending to something sacred. And when he apologized, again and again, Ava finally reached up and placed her hand over his.
"Stop," she whispered. "I heard you. I need you to be here. Not to say it. To show me."
And he nodded, eyes glassy, heart breaking open in his chest for the girl he hadn’t known how to save. That night, they sat in the quiet for a long time. No TV. No distractions. Just two people slowly stitching together the space between them.
Ava went to bed in a room that finally felt like hers. Not a prison. Not a trap. But a place where her voice had been heard. A room where the shadows no longer whispered her worthlessness back to her. A place where, for the first time in years, she didn’t have to brace for a door slamming or a voice rising.
The bruise on her face took a week to fade. But the thing that bloomed inside her that night—the fury, the clarity, the self she thought had been buried for good—that stayed. It grew roots. And with every passing day, she stood a little taller, spoke a little louder, breathed a little deeper.
Because for the first time in her life, Ava wasn’t afraid of taking up space.
And for the first time in a long time, she believed she might actually deserve it.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
From that day on, David Monroe became a different kind of father.
He didn’t announce it. There were no grand speeches, no dramatic gestures to mark the shift. It was quieter than that. More intentional. He started coming home early. Left his phone face-down during dinner. Took a step back from the relentless machinery of the company and let his second-in-command carry the weight he’d once insisted on shouldering alone. Where there used to be boardrooms and flights and conferences, there were now shared breakfasts with Ava, long walks through Stanley Park, and slow mornings that allowed space for conversation. He asked questions. He listened. Really listened. And most importantly, he looked at her like he was seeing her—not the heiress, not the troubled teen, not the reflection of his failings—but his daughter. His child.
And in the small moments, Ava started to feel it too.
Not everything was fixed. But the tension that once lived in the walls began to soften. Her room didn’t feel like a cage anymore. The echo of slamming doors had disappeared. Her face healed, but more than that, something inside her had started to mend. It wasn’t linear. Some days were harder than others. But for the first time in her life, she believed that healing was possible. That she was allowed to take up space without apologizing for it. She smiled more. Laughed, even. The guilt that used to settle on her shoulders like wet sand began to lift.
And when Quinn returned from Michigan, as if drawn by some invisible pull, they found each other again.
No texts were exchanged. No call to meet. There didn’t have to be. The connection between them was something unspoken, something carved into the marrow of their bones. It moved in whispers, in intuition, in that aching familiarity that exists between people who have seen each other at their absolute lowest. Their bond defied explanation—it had always existed beneath the surface, simmering gently, waiting for the moment they would need it again.
So when the air in Vancouver turned warm and humid, and the sky burned soft at the edges with the promise of summer's return, they simply showed up. At the bench. The one by the water where everything began. The same wooden slats worn down from years of weather, still creaking under weight, still welcoming. As though the universe had gently reached out with an invisible hand, nudging them back toward the only place that ever felt like sanctuary. It didn’t need to shout or point—just whispered softly: go now. They're waiting.
There he was, sitting with his elbows on his knees, looking out at the water like it held the answers to questions he hadn't yet asked. Ava didn’t make a sound as she approached, but he turned anyway—as if he felt her there before he saw her. Their eyes met, and something settled in both of them. Relief. Recognition. That aching kind of warmth that only comes from being missed.
They said nothing. Just moved toward each other like gravity had decided for them. He opened the blanket he had brought, and she stepped into it, sinking into his side like it was the most natural thing in the world. His arm draped over her shoulders, her head rested gently against his chest. They laid there in silence, the water stretching out before them, the stars quietly blinking in the sky above. The city buzzed behind them, distant and irrelevant. In that moment, it was just them.
Two quiet souls with too much history and not enough words.
They didn’t need to speak. They never had.
Their breathing synced, rising and falling in a rhythm so effortless it felt orchestrated by something bigger than them. His fingers moved gently against her arm, drawing absentminded circles that whispered reassurance against her skin. Each pass of his fingertips was a soft reminder that she wasn’t alone, that he was there, and that the silence between them was anything but empty. Her hand, slow and deliberate, found the hem of his sweater—that familiar place where fabric met warmth—and curled there, anchoring herself in the presence of someone who had seen her unravel and hadn’t flinched.
They had been apart for months, but this—this space, this contact, this hush that wrapped around them like a cocoon—made time feel irrelevant. It wasn’t just comfort. It was communion. Like their hearts had never stopped whispering across the distance, tracing constellations in one another’s absence. And now, reunited, they could finally hear what had always been there. That steady hum of knowing, of safety, of belonging. A closeness that asked nothing, proved nothing, but simply was.
It was the kind of reunion that didn’t require explanation. Just presence. Just breath.
And then came the night of the Monroe Gala.
It was an annual tradition, always hosted in the grand ballroom of one of Vancouver’s finest hotels—chandeliers dripping with light, golden accents reflecting off the champagne flutes, soft classical music humming beneath the din of polite conversation. The Monroe name was printed on every wall, gilded on every place card. Cameras flashed as donors and dignitaries arrived, each trying to catch the attention of the city's elite.
But this year, something was different. Ava stood next to her father the entire night.
David hadn’t asked—he insisted. And for once, she didn’t mind.
She wore a simple black satin gown, elegant and understated, the fabric catching the light with every graceful movement she made. It flowed around her like a whisper, the kind of dress that didn’t need embellishment to draw attention. Her hair was swept into a soft bun, a few delicate strands framing her face, and her makeup was minimal—just enough to highlight the natural beauty she was finally learning to own. But it wasn’t her dress or her makeup that turned heads. It was her presence. The way she carried herself with a quiet, unshakable strength that hadn’t been there before. A stillness that commanded respect without demanding it. She wasn’t just attending the gala; she was reclaiming the space she had once shrunk inside of. Every step she took was a silent declaration.
David kept a proud hand on her back, steady and constant, as he introduced her to guests. It was protective but not possessive, proud but not overbearing—a father who had come to understand his daughter’s worth in the way he should have all along. For once, his presence beside her didn’t feel like a spotlight; it felt like support. And Ava, radiant beneath the golden chandeliers, met each handshake and greeting with grace and a poised confidence that made people pause, look again, and wonder who she truly was beneath the satin and silk.
"This is my daughter, Ava," he’d say with a smile that reached his eyes. "She’s doing incredibly well in school. Top of her class. Strong as ever."
No one brought up Sally. Not once. Not in passing, not in whispers behind champagne glasses, not in speculative glances. It was as if the woman had been erased from memory, a name swallowed by the elegance of the room and the power of Ava’s presence. And David, for all his pride and poise, didn’t let her shadow stretch across this night. He didn’t allow it. This was Ava’s moment. Hers alone.
She smiled, nodded, shook hands, posed for the occasional photo, but her mind wandered.
Because across the room, Quinn was there.
Tall, composed, dressed in a sharp navy suit. His hair was slightly tousled in that effortless way only he could pull off. He looked different here—not out of place, but dressed in armor. His hands tucked into his pockets, his expression polite but reserved. He mingled with his teammates, with the Canucks GM, with sponsors and fans. But his eyes were scanning the room.
For her.
Their eyes met across the ballroom, and it was like the world stilled, folded inward, until the only thing that existed was the space between them. They didn’t smile. They didn’t wave. They just watched each other, a kind of watching that felt like remembering and longing all at once. Ava’s breath caught in her throat, her heart aching with the pressure of everything she couldn’t say. And Quinn—his posture steady, his eyes unreadable but soft—looked at her like she was the first quiet breath after drowning. It was a silent conversation layered with everything they had endured in the months apart. A quiet, aching kind of yearning that throbbed in the stillness.
I missed you.
I know.
I’m here.
So am I.
As the night wore on, they moved through the space like magnets drawn by a thread. David introduced Ava to a dozen important faces, but each time she turned, she could feel Quinn’s gaze finding hers. When he laughed at something Brock Boeser said, she caught the moment his smile faltered just slightly—because she wasn’t beside him. And when she shook hands with Tyler Myers, she felt Quinn watching, his gaze unreadable.
Eventually, the inevitable happened.
David and Ava approached a small cluster of men—Quinn, the GM, Brock, and Elias. Golf was the topic of choice, spoken with that kind of lighthearted competitiveness that only athletes could pull off. The laughter was easy, the posture relaxed. Ava stood a step behind her father, her eyes immediately finding Quinn’s.
He didn’t speak. Neither did she.
They just gravitated toward one another until, somehow, they were side by side. The space between them dissolved with a familiarity so profound, it felt rehearsed by the universe itself. Their arms brushed once—a fleeting stroke of fabric against skin that made Ava's breath hitch. Then again, slower this time, as if the universe was drawing their lines closer. And on the third, they didn’t pull away. They stayed.
Shoulder to shoulder, standing like twin sentinels in a crowd of strangers, the contact was quiet but absolute. A low pulse of warmth spread from where they touched, down their spines, into their lungs. Ava felt her anxiety melt just slightly, the noise of the room dimming, her thoughts softening. Quinn tilted slightly closer, the smallest gesture, like a lean into gravity. And together they stood—not speaking, not shifting, simply existing in the kind of silence that nourished.
For a moment, neither of them listened to the conversation. They didn’t hear the jokes about sand traps or the groans about bad swings. They were simply there. Together. Anchored.
David turned and, with the proudest smile, said, "Gentlemen, this is my daughter, Ava."
She extended her hand politely, introducing herself with a poise that made her look older than she felt. Quinn gave the smallest nod, his lips twitching, like he was trying not to smirk.
"Nice to meet you," he said softly, eyes never leaving hers.
They had to pretend.
Pretend like they didn’t know every jagged edge of each other’s trauma—each wound, each scar, each moment that nearly broke them. Like they hadn’t fallen asleep on the phone night after night, their voices the last thread tethering each other to sleep, murmured goodnights passed like fragile lifelines. Like she hadn’t once read him poetry in the early hours of the morning, her voice trembling over words not her own, until they cracked open something inside him that he hadn’t dared to touch in years, and he cried—not just from the words, but from the way she saw him, really saw him. Like he hadn’t once driven across the city at midnight, headlights cutting through fog, just to be near her, just to sit on the floor of her room and say nothing while she stared blankly at the wall, her silence heavier than any words. Like they weren’t each other's refuge in a world that had offered them far too many reasons to stop trying. Like they weren’t still carrying pieces of each other in places no one else could reach.
They had to pretend like they weren’t tethered by something deeper than most people in that room would ever understand.
Like if it weren’t for Quinn, Ava wouldn’t be here.
And if it weren’t for Ava, Quinn would have walked away from the game he loved.
They stood quietly, shoulder to shoulder, both masters of silence, both carrying more than anyone knew. And while the rest of the room buzzed with noise and expectation, they existed in their own bubble. One glance. One breath. One heartbeat.
That was enough.
For now.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Somehow, later that night, Quinn and Ava found themselves away from all the eyes, tucked behind velvet curtains and down a quiet hallway, onto a narrow balcony that overlooked the city. It felt like they had stumbled upon it by accident, but both of them knew better. The pull between them had always been magnetic, quiet and deliberate, and it had led them here—out of the spotlight, away from the polished smiles and the swirling conversations. Just the two of them. Just how they liked it.
The air was crisp and cool, the summer breeze biting at her bare shoulders, and without a word, Quinn slipped his suit jacket from his shoulders and draped it gently over her. Then, like gravity had always meant him to, he stayed close. His arm wrapped around her back, resting just above her waist, drawing her into his warmth. She leaned into it with a sigh, one that felt like it had been trapped inside her all evening.
The city lights glittered below them, casting soft gold and silver glows onto their faces. Neither of them spoke at first. There was no need to fill the silence. The world outside buzzed with energy and expectation, but here—on this hidden balcony—time felt suspended. They turned toward each other slowly, their gazes meeting in a softness reserved only for the quietest of truths.
Their voices, when they came, were hushed. Gentle. Full of intimacy. It wasn’t what they said—it was how they said it. Like they were catching up on lifetimes rather than hours. As if the conversation from the night before, curled up on Quinn’s couch in hoodies and tangled legs, hadn’t happened just twenty-four hours earlier. As if time with each other never felt like enough.
He told her about his mom asking questions. About Luke and Jack teasing him, but softer than usual. She told him about her father pausing in the middle of breakfast to ask her how she really was. How she answered him honestly.
They laughed quietly, shared fragments of their lives, their voices slipping between them like the breeze winding around their bodies. Ava’s hand found his. Their fingers interlaced without fanfare, like they were meant to. Like they always had.
They craved each other’s presence in a way that neither of them could quite articulate. It was an ache in the bones, a whisper that lingered in the quiet moments when the world slowed down. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t desperate. It was patient and persistent, like the tide returning to shore. Every brush of their hands, every shared look, every heartbeat that seemed to echo in tandem reminded them that the world felt more bearable with the other nearby.
It wasn’t overwhelming, but it was all-consuming in the gentlest way—like warm water rising slowly around them until they were submerged in comfort. Being together didn’t feel like fireworks or explosions. It felt like exhaling. Like the pause between waves. Like breathing after forgetting how to. It was the soft kind of safety that asked nothing, yet offered everything. It was steady. It was healing. It was home.
Eventually, they knew they had to go back. The world would start to wonder. So they disentangled slowly, reluctantly, the weight of the party pressing back against their little sanctuary. They stepped inside, the heavy doors closing behind them like a secret, and returned to the crowd, slipping seamlessly back into their silent game of eye tag.
Longing looks drifted like invisible threads across the room—delicate, deliberate, and too soft for anyone else to notice. They passed between them in glances that carried weight, in stares that lingered just a second too long. Ava could feel him in the room like a current beneath the surface of calm water. Even when her back was turned, she knew exactly where he was. It was instinctual now, the way she tracked him without searching, the way her body seemed to orient itself around his presence.
Quinn was woven into the night, stitched into the seams of her awareness. Like his gaze had painted itself onto the architecture of the ballroom—carved into the corners of mirrors, hidden in the shadows between chandeliers, echoing in the hush between conversations. He was there in the stillness. In the pause before the music swelled again.
Every time their eyes met, it felt like the rest of the world blurred, like the space between them collapsed into memory and possibility. It was quiet, desperate longing. Not just for touch, but for the kind of closeness they weren’t allowed to show here. The kind they could only hint at through parted lips that said nothing, and eyes that said everything.
When the night came to a close, and the last of the toasts had been made, David began his rounds. He shook hands with the team, warm and gracious, all the pride of a father written into his smile.
And Ava stood there, just a few feet away from Quinn.
So close. Yet still oceans apart.
She stared at him, and he stared back. Neither moving. Neither speaking. Just holding on through the space between them. And in that glance, they said everything they couldn’t say out loud.
Stay.
I will.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Fundraiser after fundraiser. Event after event. Gala after gala. It was always the same.
There was a rhythm to it now—the way Ava and Quinn would find themselves orbiting the same glittering rooms, under the same glowing chandeliers, surrounded by clinking glasses, velvet gowns, and the quiet murmur of old money. These were nights meant for appearances, for networking and public smiles. And yet, for them, they had taken on a different meaning. They became a ritual of sorts. A dance.
They never arrived together. They never left together. But they were always there. Always watching.
She stood by her father's side, poised and elegant, every inch of her radiating a quiet, cultivated grace. The dress she wore shimmered beneath the golden chandeliers, catching the light each time she moved, but it wasn’t the fabric that made people pause when they looked at her—it was the composure, the soft confidence in the way she held herself. The kind of strength not learned overnight but forged through fire and healing. There was something magnetic about her silence, a steadiness in her stillness, like she didn’t need to speak to be understood. David often rested a hand gently on her back, not to guide her, but to show the world he was proud.
Across the room, Quinn lingered with his teammates, half-listening to stories about summer golf trips and rookie antics, his drink untouched, the condensation leaving faint circles on the bar. His posture was casual, familiar to those around him, but his eyes—they betrayed him. They moved past people, past clinking glasses and shallow chatter, to find her. Always her. No matter where she was in the room, he found her. Even if she was half-turned, speaking to someone else, he knew. Like her presence lived in his peripheral vision. Like a magnetic pull beneath his skin.
And when their eyes met—briefly, quietly—everything else fell away. The world dimmed. The noise dulled. It was just them, across the distance, tethered by something invisible and unshakable. The kind of connection that didn’t require words or permission. Even in a crowded ballroom. Even in a sea of faces. The invisible string between them never faltered. It only grew stronger, more certain, more sacred.
They had mastered the art of silent presence. Of being near, but not too near. Their glances were small offerings. Wordless affirmations. I'm here.
Sometimes, Quinn would catch her in mid-laugh, head tilted back slightly, eyes crinkled at the corners, and his chest would tighten. Sometimes Ava would look up to see him politely declining a drink, his fingers tracing the edge of the glass, and she'd know he was counting down the minutes until they could be alone.
Every so often, someone would notice. One of Quinn's teammates. An old family friend of Ava's. Someone would glance between them and furrow their brow.
Eventually, Brock and Petey began to catch on. It wasn't just in the obvious ways—not just the glances or the quiet way Quinn seemed to tune out everything but a single presence across the room. It was deeper than that. It was in the ease of his movements during practice, in the softness of his voice when he spoke to the trainers, in the subtle calm that had settled into his shoulders like a long-held burden had finally been set down.
They saw the change in him before they saw her. The lightness in him. The subtle peace. The way his temper didn’t flare as easily. The way he lingered longer in the locker room, not because he was avoiding something, but because he had somewhere he wanted to be afterward. The way his phone would buzz mid-conversation, and he’d glance at it, eyes lighting up in a way neither of them had seen in a long time.
Petey noticed it first after a morning skate. Quinn had sat on the bench longer than usual, sipping his water, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth for no apparent reason. Brock picked up on it later, when Quinn turned down a night out in favor of heading home early—again.
There was something different about him. Something quieter. Something warmer. Something that felt like the first breath after breaking the surface of a deep dive. They didn’t know who she was yet. But they knew what she was doing to him.
And they were grateful for it.
“You’re different lately,” Brock had teased once, nudging him with his elbow after a press conference.
Quinn shrugged. “Just focused.”
Petey raised an eyebrow. “Focused, huh?”
He said nothing more, just offered a faint smirk and pulled his cap low. But they knew. Of course they did.
They didn’t push. They didn’t need to. Because they remembered the nights Quinn went silent in the locker room, the way he would sit with his head in his hands, shoulders hunched and trembling slightly, eyes distant as though he was somewhere far away. They remembered the nights he left the arena without a word, ghosting through the exit like he wanted to disappear into the dark, burdened by invisible weights that the rest of the world never saw. They remembered the sting of watching him crumble under the pressure, carrying the weight of a franchise, a name, and expectations so heavy no one his age should have had to bear them.
And now, he was present. He was grounded. He stayed after practices, laughed more freely, smiled without flinching, and leaned in during conversations instead of drifting out. He moved through the world with a kind of steadiness that was new, earned, and deeply felt. There was a fullness to him, a quiet confidence that hadn’t been there before, like he had finally allowed himself to be held by something—or someone—other than the game. And whatever or whoever had given him that, they weren’t going to interfere. Because Quinn wasn’t just surviving anymore. He was healing. And they weren’t about to question the one bright thread that had started to stitch him back together.
And David Monroe—the man who spent a lifetime reading contracts, reading negotiations, reading people—read his daughter the same way.
He noticed the subtle tilt of her head when Quinn entered the room—that barely perceptible shift in her body that spoke volumes. He noticed how her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, how her stance softened in the way that people do when they feel safe. The shift in her voice when she greeted him was unmistakable, too—a quiet warmth that hadn't been there before, a kind of familiarity laced with unspoken joy. There was a glint of something softer in her eyes, something David hadn’t seen in a long time: hope. It shimmered beneath her lashes when she looked at Quinn, not flashy or bold, but real.
And maybe it was in the way she leaned in slightly, even when they weren’t talking. Maybe it was in the way her laughter carried just a little further when Quinn was near, fuller, less guarded. Maybe it was in the way she always seemed to know where he was, even if her back was turned. Whatever it was, she didn’t have to say a word. David knew. He knew in the same way a father knows when something inside his daughter has changed—not in fear, not in pain, but in healing. In comfort. In love.
But he never asked.
Never pushed. Never demanded to know.
Instead, he offered something rarer: trust.
He’d excuse himself from conversations at just the right moment. He’d conveniently get caught up with a donor when Ava and Quinn found themselves standing nearby. And most notably, he’d offer, again and again, with quiet confidence:
“Quinn, would you mind driving Ava back tonight? Her driver’s been rerouted.”
Even when they both knew that wasn’t true. Even when her driver was parked right outside. It was never about logistics. It was about space.
David offered it to them the way a father offers love when he doesn’t quite know how to say the words. With open doors. With quiet knowing. With the kind of steady, behind-the-scenes support that didn't demand acknowledgment or praise. He made space for them gently, without ever announcing it, always a few steps behind, always watching without hovering. He knew enough not to interrupt something still delicate and forming, something unspoken and sacred. But he could feel it—the gravity between them—and rather than stand in the way of it, he simply stepped aside.
In the way he lingered in conversations a little longer when he saw them drawn together. In the way he made himself scarce just as Ava started looking around for an escape from small talk. In the way he mentioned Quinn’s name with familiarity, like someone already considered family. He didn’t overstep. He didn’t press. He just made sure they knew he saw them. That he trusted them. That they were safe, and they were seen.
On the nights Ava stayed at the Monroe home, David would pass by her room, the soft spill of her laughter filtering through the crack in the door. Her voice, light and unguarded, speaking into the phone like it was the most natural thing in the world. It didn’t take much for him to recognize the voice on the other end. He’d seen Quinn smile that same way, phone in hand, thumb brushing the screen, eyes warm with something he rarely let the world see.
And then there were the late nights.
The soft creak of the front door. The shuffle of feet on the tile. Her silhouette slipping out into the quiet dark, only to return hours later with the faintest curve of peace around her mouth. She never said where she went. He never asked. But he could see it in her eyes. The steadiness. The gratitude.
Her chauffeur confirmed it once, in the casual way longtime employees do.
"Nice kid comes around a lot," he’d said, leaning against the car as David stepped out one morning, his tone casual but warm with unspoken approval. "Shows up like clockwork. Never loud, never late. Always polite—calls me sir, if you can believe it. Keeps to himself mostly, but he's careful with her. Stays in the car sometimes, waits until the lights are on before driving off. And when he does walk her in, he never lingers longer than she wants him to. Just makes sure she’s safe. You can tell he cares, even if he doesn’t say much. Been doing it for months now. Since before the summer started, even when school was still in session. Honestly? Feels like he's been here longer than that. Like he's part of the rhythm of the place now."
David had only nodded.
He didn’t need confirmation. He just needed to know she was okay.
And when it came to Quinn Hughes, he knew she was.
He’d always admired the young defenseman. Not for his stats, not for his name. But for the way he carried himself. Humble. Quiet. Steady. The kind of man who didn’t demand the spotlight, but still lit the way for others. The kind of man David hoped his daughter would meet one day, when she was ready.
And now, it seemed, she had.
David never said anything. Not directly.
But one evening, Ava walked into her apartment, tired from class, her shoulders heavy with the day. And there, on her kitchen counter, was an envelope. Small. Unassuming. Her name printed on the front in familiar, slanted script.
Inside, a single ticket.
Canucks Family Suite.
Next to it, a bouquet of lilies. Fresh, fragrant, wrapped in soft tissue and tied with a satin ribbon.
And tucked inside the bouquet was a note, folded neatly. In her father’s handwriting, blocky and precise:
I’m glad you’re happy. Enjoy the game, sweetheart. Tell Q I say hi.
Ava stood in the center of her kitchen for a long time, the note pressed to her chest, her fingertips brushing over the familiar scrawl of her father’s handwriting as if it were something fragile and precious. The air around her felt still, suspended, as if the world had paused to give her this moment—this moment where the past and present met in a quiet, breathtaking kind of peace. Her eyes stung with something tender, something deep and sacred, a soft ache blooming in her chest that had nothing to do with pain and everything to do with being seen. Truly seen.
It wasn’t permission. It wasn’t approval. It was deeper than that. It was trust. It was understanding. It was a father’s love given not with conditions or expectations, but with a steady hand and a hopeful heart. It was a message: * I trust you. I love you.*
And in that stillness, Ava felt something inside her settle. A lifelong ache she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying softened, just a little. It was love, quiet and sure. The kind that didn’t ask questions. The kind that didn’t need to be proven. The kind that just... was.
She didn’t text him to say thank you. She didn’t need to. He already knew.
That night, she wore the jersey Quinn had left for her. The one that still smelled faintly of his cologne. The one that had become a second skin on nights when the world felt too sharp. She tucked the ticket into her bag and made her way to the arena.
The family suite buzzed with polite chatter, children balancing popcorn tubs on their laps, partners snapping photos through the glass. Ava sat alone, her hands folded neatly in her lap, eyes trained on the ice.
And then he skated out.
Helmet tucked under one arm, his stick resting against his shoulder, his eyes flicked upward—toward her.
Just once.
But it was enough.
He smiled. Slow. Soft. The kind of smile that reached the corners of his eyes.
And this time, she smiled back.
Wide. Unafraid. Home.
A few rows down, David watched the exchange, his heart quietly swelling with a kind of warmth he hadn't felt in years. His hands were folded in his lap, but his grip softened as he took them in—his daughter and the boy she hadn’t quite named yet. His chin tilted upward slightly, like he was catching sunlight, though it was only the gentle glow of the rink lights reflecting in his eyes. And what he saw wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t grand. But it was everything.
There was something so gentle in their exchange, so sweet and unguarded, that it rooted itself deep in his chest. The way Quinn looked up like the world paused when he saw her. The way Ava smiled back without a hint of hesitation. That silent thread between them—invisible to others but so very visible to a father who had learned to look—wasn't just connection. It was care. It was safety. It was the soft, tender shape of something real beginning to bloom.
And David—a man who once wondered if he’d ever get to see this kind of light in his daughter again—felt nothing but gratitude. For the quiet between them. For the steady presence Quinn had become. For the fact that in a world that demanded so much of both of them, they had found each other.
He smiled too.
Because this—this was all he had ever wanted for her.
Not perfection. Not prestige.
Just peace.
And someone to hold her steady when the world tried to pull her apart.
And he smiled too.
Because this—this was all he had ever wanted for her.
Not perfection. Not prestige.
Just peace.
And someone to hold her steady when the world tried to pull her apart.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Eventually, it happened.
After a week of distance, of nothing but texted good mornings and tired, late-night voice notes, Quinn returned from a stretch of away games in the States. A week apart wasn’t long in the grand scheme of things, but it felt like an eternity to both of them. After so many nights spent orbiting each other’s presence, to suddenly have nothing but a phone screen was a sharp absence.
So when he finally got back to Vancouver, there was no hesitation. No ceremony. Just the quiet thud of the door closing behind him and the soft, wordless pull of Ava’s arms as they collapsed into each other in the dim comfort of her apartment.
They ended up in her bed, legs tangled beneath the covers, the low hum of a television show playing in the background. Neither of them paid attention to the dialogue. The screen flickered, casting soft colors across the room, but their world had narrowed to each other—to the warmth of bodies reunited, to the gentle exchange of breath in a space that finally felt whole again.
Quinn laid on his side, one arm tucked beneath his head, the other curled gently around Ava’s waist. She faced him, her fingers resting lightly against his chest, eyes tracing the sharp curve of his jaw, the dimple in his chin, the soft slope of his nose. It was quiet, reverent almost, the kind of silence that said everything.
Their foreheads pressed together.
Like an anchor. Like a prayer.
As if the touch could absorb all the ache, all the exhaustion, all the pieces of the past still lodged deep inside.
Quinn's fingers gently brushed a piece of hair from her face, tucking it slowly behind her ear with the kind of tenderness that made her stomach flutter. His hand lingered there, the pad of his thumb grazing the curve of her cheek like it was something sacred. It was such a small gesture, but it was full of reverence—as though he were memorizing her, as though her softness was something he needed to commit to memory in case the world ever tried to make him forget. His eyes searched hers, not in question but in quiet certainty, and when he finally took a breath, it trembled slightly, his voice low and raw and steady. The words that followed were barely above a whisper, but they rang through her like a cathedral bell, reverberating in her chest, anchoring something deep and aching inside of her with the weight of truth.
"I love you so much, Ava."
It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t dramatic. But it held weight. A gravity that made her heart still for a moment.
Her eyes met his, glassy with something close to awe, and she reached up, cupping his face in her hands with a gentleness that nearly broke him.
"I love you so much, Quinn."
And then their lips met.
Soft. Slow. Healing.
Like the breath after a storm. Like the beginning of something safe and endless.
In that kiss, it was as if they were transported—to a different place, a different version of the world where nothing had ever hurt them, where every crack had been mended, every bruise gently kissed away. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a release. A surrender. A soft unraveling of everything they had held in for too long. It was warm and still and whole, the kind of kiss that stitched them back together from the inside out. In that moment, their bodies remembered safety, their hearts remembered peace. Every aching memory, every lonely night, every self-doubt and lingering wound faded into the background.
For a few heartbeats, they forgot what it meant to carry pain. Forgot what it was to be broken. There was only the hush between them, the taste of belonging, the way their souls seemed to fit together like pieces that had always known where they belonged.
They were just two people who loved each other.
And for the first time, that was more than enough.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
Ava attended every game she could. If she could make it, she was there. She sat quietly in the family suite, tucked between executives and loved ones, her eyes always scanning the ice for #43.
And it was inevitable, really, that eventually she would run into Ellen Hughes.
It was during a highly anticipated game—the Canucks versus the Devils. A Hughes family reunion of sorts, with Jack and Luke skating for New Jersey while Quinn stood on the opposing blue line. The suite was buzzing with excitement, filled with friends, distant relatives, and family friends.
Ellen had made her rounds with practiced warmth. She greeted the WAGs, the team staff, the donors and their spouses. And eventually, her eyes fell on a girl she didn’t recognize.
She was sitting at the far end of the suite, small and tucked into her seat, her body angled slightly away from the crowd as though trying not to draw attention. But there was something about her posture—something familiar. She wasn’t avoiding people. She was just comfortable in her own space.
Curious, Ellen approached.
"Hi there," she said with a soft smile. "I don't think we've met. I'm Ellen. Quinn's mom."
Ava's head snapped up, and her heart immediately jumped to her throat, thudding so hard she swore Ellen could hear it. Her breath caught, and for a split second she forgot how to speak, how to move, how to be. She hadn’t expected this moment—not so soon, not like this. Her eyes widened slightly, and a nervous flush crept up her neck, blooming across her cheeks as recognition dawned. Of course she knew who Ellen Hughes was. Quinn had spoken of her with reverence and warmth, had mentioned her kindness and strength. And now here she was, standing just feet away, reaching out not with suspicion, but with genuine interest. Ava forced a smile, her palms suddenly clammy, and willed her voice to be steady, to not betray the storm of nerves unraveling inside her.
"Oh," she said, standing quickly and smoothing her sweater. "Hi. I’m Ava. Ava Monroe. My dad’s David Monroe—he's one of the team's silent donors. I… I sometimes come to games with him."
Ellen nodded thoughtfully, but her eyes didn’t move. They stayed on Ava.
There was something about her. Something that tugged at Ellen's chest in a way she couldn't quite explain. A familiarity, a presence. A quiet gentleness that felt known, though she was sure they had never met. The girl’s posture, the way she sat with graceful reserve, like she was holding something close and sacred—Ellen couldn’t look away.
And then the players took the ice. The lights brightened, the music swelled, and her son stepped onto the rink. The roar of the crowd rose up like a wave, but Ellen barely heard it. Her eyes were on Quinn. And his eyes? His eyes were searching.
Not for his father. Not for her. Not for the fans.
They locked onto the far edge of the suite.
To her.
And in that one look, everything else fell away.
Ellen watched as his face softened, his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, and the tension that had built during warmups dissolved like ice under the sun. His expression wasn’t just love. It was longing. A yearning so deep, it was visible even from all the way up here. A look that said, There you are. I can breathe again.
It hit Ellen like a memory—a summer evening by the lake, Quinn laid out on the dock, his eyes turned toward the stars with that same quiet peace. That same softness.
And now she saw it again.
Not because of the game.
Because of the girl.
And Ellen saw it.
The look.
The look that lit his entire face.
She followed his gaze and then looked back to Ava. And suddenly, it all clicked. The jersey wasn’t just a Hughes one. It was a game-worn #43. His first one. And Ava wasn’t just some donor’s daughter.
She was the girl.
The one who had existed only in quiet murmurs for months. The one whose name hadn’t been spoken, but whose presence had echoed in every shift of Quinn's energy. The one Ellen had wondered about late at night, when she noticed her son checking his phone more often, when she heard the smile in his voice during calls, when he talked about "someone" who made things feel easier.
She was the one who had pulled her son back from the edge. Who had reminded him, not with grand declarations but with steady hands and soft silence, that he didn’t have to carry the weight of the world alone. The girl who had entered his life like a whisper, and yet managed to soften every sharp edge he carried. The girl who brought stillness to the storm.
And now, seeing her here, Ellen understood everything.
Every look. Every shift. Every softened breath her son had taken over the past several months.
This was her.
The one who had become his home.
After the game, as players filtered off the ice and families began gathering their things, Ellen watched as Ava lingered. She didn’t move to leave like the others. She stayed in the back, her coat draped over her arm, her gaze fixed on the hallway leading to the locker rooms.
And when the crowds began to thin, Quinn reappeared.
He wasn’t obvious. He never was. But he moved with intention. He walked right past the others. Right to her.
And the way he looked at her—that same quiet, awe-filled expression he wore that summer on the dock, when the world was still and the stars were just beginning to shine, like he was seeing the whole universe unfold before him. But this time, he wasn't looking at the sky—he was looking at her. With a reverence that made it seem as if she held constellations in her eyes, like every part of him had been waiting for this one second of clarity. There was no mistaking it, no downplaying the depth of it. That look held stories, memories, hopes he hadn’t dared to name. It was a gaze filled with yearning, with a kind of stillness that only comes when you find the thing you didn’t even know you were missing. It was the look of a man who had come home—and found that home in her.
That’s when Ellen knew.
This girl. This quiet, kind-eyed girl.
She was the one who had been stitching her son back together.
And when Ava began to make her way out, ready to quietly leave before anyone could say anything, Ellen stepped in gently.
"Why don’t you come with us?" she asked, her voice warm, inviting. "We’re going out for dinner. Nothing fancy. Just family."
Ava blinked. "I… I wouldn’t want to intrude."
Ellen smiled. "You wouldn’t be. Please."
There was a look in Ellen’s eyes—soft, knowing, and impossibly kind. A look filled with gentle recognition and something deeper than just polite interest. The same look David Monroe had when he realized the truth, when he saw the way his daughter smiled with her whole heart for the first time in years. It was the look of someone who understood exactly what was unfolding, even if it hadn’t been said aloud. A mother’s intuition, quietly affirming what she had already pieced together long before introductions had been made.
Ava felt the weight of it settle over her chest—not heavy, but grounding. She felt seen, not just as Quinn's quiet constant, but as someone who mattered on her own. And in that moment, she felt the doors to something bigger opening, something she had always tiptoed around. A family, a place, a seat at the table. She felt welcome.
So when Ellen extended the invitation, Ava couldn’t say no. Not because she felt obligated. But because she wanted to. Because this, whatever this was, felt like the beginning of something sacred.
They went to a quiet restaurant downtown. One the Hughes family knew well. A booth in the back was waiting, and Quinn reached for her hand beneath the table as they sat. She gave it a gentle squeeze.
Dinner was easy.
Ava was quiet, like Quinn, but she listened well. Asked thoughtful questions. Laughed at the right moments. And slowly, the Hughes brothers started to lean in a little more. Ellen and Jim exchanged a glance across the table.
They watched the way Quinn passed Ava the pickles from his plate without asking, and how she did the same with her tomatoes. How they shared a single glass of water, how Ava refilled it halfway through without a word. How they leaned into each other during the lull in conversation, foreheads brushing like they couldn’t quite believe they were still allowed to be near.
It was like watching a dance.
Soft. Natural. Magnetic.
And when dinner ended, and they all stood to leave, one by one the Hughes family pulled Ava into tight hugs.
From Jim’s strong embrace to Luke’s teasing grin, to Jack’s quiet "Glad you're here. Really."
And then Ellen. Who held her for a little longer.
As if saying, Thank you.
For bringing their Quinn back.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
After dinner, they parted ways outside the restaurant. The night had cooled, the sidewalks quieter now, as families dispersed and city lights blinked sleepily overhead. Quinn and Ava didn’t speak much as they walked. They didn’t need to. Their hands were still intertwined, fingers laced with the kind of familiarity that spoke louder than any words.
Somehow, without planning, they ended up at the bench.
Their bench.
The same one by the water. The one where it all began.
The moon hung low and bright above them, casting silver reflections across the calm harbor. The city buzzed behind them, but here, it was quiet. Safe. Like always.
They sat side by side, shoulders brushing, the hush of waves lapping gently below. Quinn leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, while Ava curled slightly into his side. Her head found his shoulder, and his cheek rested against the top of her head.
For a while, they didn’t say anything. They just listened—to the water, to the cars in the distance, to their own hearts beating in rhythm again.
"You know," Ava murmured after a while, "I didn’t think I’d ever feel this again. Safe. Loved. Not just by you… but by the world. By your family."
Quinn turned his head, brushing a kiss to her temple.
"You were always worthy of it. You just needed someone to remind you."
A small smile tugged at her lips, and she leaned further into him.
"You did more than remind me. You showed me."
He looked out at the water, his voice a whisper.
"You saved me too. I was drowning and didn’t even realize it. And then there you were. Just... quiet and strong and exactly what I didn’t know I needed."
She tilted her head to look up at him. "Do you think we would have found each other if everything in our lives had gone differently?"
He considered that, then shook his head gently.
"No. But I think we found each other exactly when we needed to. Broken, but still whole enough to see the light in the other."
She reached up and touched his cheek. "You were always the light, Quinn."
He closed his eyes for a moment, holding her hand against his face.
They stayed there until the sky began to shift—the deep navy of night giving way to pale hints of morning. The first signs of a new day stretching out before them.
And as the sun began to rise, spilling warmth across the horizon, they knew.
They had survived the darkness.
Together.
And now, they had a future.
Hand in hand, they sat on that bench. Their bench. Not as two people weighed down by the past, but as two hearts who had found their way back to themselves—through love, through healing, and through each other.
dededos
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