Because my sister talked me into seeing Phox again (for the 10th time) today, although really I'll take any excuse to see them live. I'm currently in full-on Buzzfeed mode.
So, without furthur ado, I present Hedgehog Out of 5's listicle 10 times Monica Martin was perfect.
1. When Monica dedicated "Satyr and The Faun" to anyone in the audience who'd ever played DnD ...or Magic: The Gathering:
2. When Monica and Matt fought over whose outfit was better:
3. When Monica did a George Clooney impersonation to congratulate Matteo and Zach on their Academy Award nomination:
4. When Monica belted out the chorus to "Slow Motion:"
5. When Monica broke out J.E. Sunde's "I Will Smile When I Think Of You:"
6. "You know it's been awhile ...since I felt anything at all:"
7. When Monica voiced all of our frustrations with the 2014 film Birdman:
8. When Monica serenaded her sister with "Espeon:"
9. When Monica sent Davey away from the stage and apologized:
10. Everything she does because she's a perfect Wisconsinite:
"You may have noticed a 7-month lapse in posts from me," said the resident blogger to the electronic void. He adjusted his blue Warby Parker glasses awkwardly with his index finger, smearing the right lens. He coughed awkwardly.
"I've been quite busy," he assured the void, removing his blue Warby Parker glasses and wiping them several times with his cotton t-shirt before returning them to his face. The smudge he'd left with his index finger had become less thick than before, but more obnoxious. Sighing, he set his glasses down on the podium in front of him before clearing his throat and beginning again.
"You may have--" he began before giving up, sighing, and walking away. On the podium was a list of reviews he'd written in the span of his absence, published by The 405.
The Antlers - "Familiars" (Published June 19, 2014)
Phox - "Phox" (Published June 24, 2014)
Naomi Punk - "Television Man" (Published July 30, 2014)
Anand Wilder and Maxwell Kardon - "Break Line" (Published August 7, 2014)
Jason Feathers - "De Oro" (Published August 15, 2014)
Field Report - "Marigolden" (Published September 23, 2014)
I promise I'll be better at posting to this thing whenever I don't have stuff to work on/get published elsewhere. Sorry to anyone who actually follows this blog and missed it.
Absurdism and sexy space opera collide in “Space Dandy”
Episode S01E01: Live With the Flow, Baby
By Dylan Dobson, 6.1.2014
In 2012, Cartoon Network announced the return of its spectacular Toonami block. Though the move was applauded by those nostalgic for robo-alien Tom and his array of anime and sci-fi action series, the initial offerings were less than stellar. Much of the hype has since died down, and though the block is still going strong nearly two years later, the programming has yet to live up to its earth-shattering expectations. Cue “Space Dandy,” which premiered this past weekend on the block.
Equal parts “Cowboy Bebop” and “Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo,” “Space Dandy” immediately lays promise of sexy quasi-serialized operatic space action a la “Lost in Space.” Dandy himself is the classic would-be lady killer with his pompadour which he combs as he does the galaxy. Our protagonist is a straight-laced Zapp Brannigan type, with a penchant for scantily-clad ladies and a pair of reluctant sidekicks in the form of QT, an appropriately named robot who sings his objections and fears in adorable auto-tune style, and Meow, a catlike alien from Betelgeuse whose personality recalls the average Steve Buscemi character. The resulting chemistry is something like Ron Burgandy’s newsroom in space, turned alien hunters. The title character’s introduction is a rant on the virtues of booty, and how quote-unquote “boob men” are unlightened.
From here Space Dandy darts to his favorite breastaurant cantina in search of uncatalogued aliens. On a lead he travels to an exotic planet, tailed by a would-be antagonist: a gorilla dressed like Uncle Sam piloting a disembodied Statue of Liberty head taking orders from a flaming skull. None of this is really explained, but it doesn’t matter. The episode glides through its absurd plot at a breakneck speed like an oil drenched missile in water, leaving any and all questions to roll off of its polished visuals and comedic sheen. And the end of the episode will leave audiences simultaneously scratching their heads in disbelief and begging for more.
Though only the pilot has aired, “Space Dandy” shows great promise for any fan of absurdism, space opera, or classic Toonami. The characters are well-developed and the visuals are some of the most beautifully striking things ever conceived for animated television.
The scene at Boobies, the Hootersesque space cantina, “where zero-G meets double Ds,” is especially awe-inspiring, with detailed alien races darting from shot to shot faster than they can be registered. “Space Dandy” immediately succeeds in forming a massive universe, one that feels like it has breadth and history. Such a feat is impressive, especially for a show whose tongue is buried so deep in its cheek that even its meta-references seem meta-referential. And all of the characters are immediately striking and interesting. The 30-minute pilot may be one of the most efficient episodes of any show in a while, covering leaps and bounds and fully fleshing out the universe without seeming forced as is often the case, especially in sci-fi where concepts are high and audience expectations often low.
With the growing popularity of last year’s cult hit “Attack on Titan,” it’s worth wondering whether or not anime is making a big comeback from the realm of ridiculed art back into mainstream acceptability. Either way, “Space Dandy” makes an excellent case for the medium—hitting the pastiche mark on all cylinders the same way other successful 21st Century mashup shows like “Community” and “Adventure Time” do, while remaining quirky and accessible to those who don’t live and breathe pop culture. It’s funny, intelligent, and entertaining, but most importantly feels like the kind of show fans of the Toonami block became used to seeing on their TVs in the late ‘90s. Here’s hoping it finds its audience stateside as it airs Saturday nights. 5 hedgehogs.
The 10 Best Albums of 2013 (That Didn’t Make My Year-End List)
By Dylan Dobson, 5.1.2014
For the first time in several years, event records and major releases dominated the landscape of music in 2013. While many critics wrote this off as the sign of a boring year, marked by similarly dull offerings in the realm of television, film, and literature, it’s worth noting how similar this year was in fact to 2010. Again, the major battle for the top slot in critic’s year-end lists was warred between the East Coast indie acolytes of Vampire Weekend and rap game juggernaut Kanye West.
That’s not to say there weren’t a few surprises however. As EDM’s grasp on popular music inflated beyond where it’s ever been and the flames of alternative hip hop and country music continued to burn stronger than ever, the best music of 2013 was released on the fringes of all genres. Alternative pop in particular flourished with acclaimed releases from Haiim, Sky Ferreira, Charli XCX, and Lorde all receiving their fair share of hype.
And for once, the long awaited returns from veterans such as the Yeah Yeah Yeahs finally lived up to the hype, finding their place among the P4K fodder in the year-end catacombs of the top releases. Alas, not every great album can fit onto a Top 10 list. Below are the 10 albums just shy of my own AOTY list, which will be revealed next week. Can you figure out who’s missing before the Top 10 rundown?
20. Killer Mike and El-P – “Run the Jewels”
19. Avicii – “True”
18. Janelle Monáe – “The Electric Lady”
17. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Mosquito”
16. Foxygen – “We Are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace & Magic”
15. Hanni El Khatib – “Head in the Dirt”
14. Caitlin Rose – “The Stand-In”
13. Charli XCX – “True Romance”
12. Darkside – “Psychic”
11. Waxahatchee – “Cerulean Salt”
Keep on the lookout for my 2013 Top-10 AOTY list later this week.
Go Hardwell or go home: The best electronic and dance of 2013
By Dylan Dobson, 9.12.2013
EDM has finally found its way onto the Billboard charts this year, with major pop acts pairing up with electronic producers to produce some of this year's most hyped tracks. The writing may have been on the wall as early as November of last year, when Miley Cyrus paired up with up-and-coming EDM act Borgore for his viral hit, "Decisions."
However, it may have been K-Pop, a genre similarly embedded in Internet culture, that wrought EDM on the mainstream radio. The critical success of Psy's 2012 crossover phenomenon "Gangnam Style" opened the door to the similarly outrageous "Harlem Shake." The track by Bauuer set off bells in corners of the media that were otherwise unaware of electronic dance music.
Fast forward past some other cultural touchstones--the soundtrack to Baz Luhrman's "The Great Gatsby," which featured several EDM-inspired pop shakedowns alongside jazz-flavored hip hop, as well as the logical Gangnam-Harlem successor, "The Fox," and the public had been primed to accept their new programmable music overlords.
Now DJs such as Avicii and Zedd have also found their way onto the charts this year with their own projects, and Steve Aoki's managed to work his way onto alternative radio with his Linkin Park Collaboration, "A Light That Never Comes."
Electronic dance shows have also become a highly valuable commodity for promoters and venues, with ticketing juggernaut Live Nation spending over a billion dollars in order to acquire several dance promotions companies this year. While it's been a long time coming, electronic dance has finally twerked and fist pumped its way out of the niche indie circles, online communities, and enclaves of ravers, and alongside adult contemporary acts and alternative rock singles on Clear Channel stations.
This higher visibility has also proved to be a challenge for event promoters and musicians alike, who have had to grapple with the problematic culture surrounding the EDM scene. After several deaths at electronic music festivals this past summer, leading promoters such as Insomniac, the company behind the popular Electric Daisy Carnival, have taken the lead in ensuring the safety of concert goers.
Discovering EDM outside the confines of radio may be an exhausting task for casual listeners. Soundcloud, the website of choice for DJs, offers an interface that's problematic so far as building sets is concerned, and many streaming sites such as Spotify lack a comprehensive library of releases. With that said, here's a sampling (click for Spotify playlist) of the best electronic and dance to come out during what's arguably the genre's most monumental year yet.
20. The Moon is Falling Down - Crywolf
One of the year’s best unsung talents is Crywolf. His “Ghosts” EP is as progressive as it is aggressive, with lively beats that replicate what the best in the scene are doing while managing to sound entirely new and inspired.
19. When a Fire Starts to Burn - Disclosure
The hippest names in EDM this year, Disclosure have found fans in critical circles, as well as in pop royalty, such as Noel Gallagher.
18. Scare Me - Major Lazer
Major Lazer’s “Free the Universe” is one of the most infectiously danceable albums to come out in any year, much less 2013. Despite the cross-genre crass antics, this Diplo side-project offers one constant: funk.
17. Treat Me Right - Keys n Krates
In a year where artists toyed with sounds from EDMs more experimental genres, few were more successful at remaining accessible than Keys and Krates. On “Treat Me Right,” Keys n Krates inject just the right amount of trap sound without drowning the track in it.
16. Recover - CHVRCHES
More electronic than dance, CHVRCHES made waves this year with their poppy tracks such as “The Mother We Share” and “Recover.”
15. ProtoVision - Kavinsky
This year saw the return of Kavinsky, who blew up not only electronic music, but the music industry as a whole with his tracks on the highly influential soundtrack to “Drive” in 2011. The sound is familiar, but the tracks sound as fresh as his first time around the block.
14. Hard Times - GRiZ
Blending bluesy guitars with brostep sensibilities, GRiZ continues to be a refreshing presence in the realm of electronic music. He released two of the best electronic albums of the year with “Rebel Era” and “Mad Liberation.”
13. You Don't Understand – Gramatik
Gramatik finds himself on this list for reasons similar to GRiZ. His utilization of blues guitars and soulful samples are a refreshing respite from the seas of low-fi drone and bland house beats that permeated the scene this year. And the duo of GRiZ and Gramatik (GRiZmatik) presented one of the year’s best live experiences.
12. Global Concepts - Robert DeLong
An alternative crossover sensation, Robert DeLong is a name to watch for in 2014, not only in the electronic circuit but as a general artist as well. His 2013 release “Just Movement” may not be wrought with party anthems, but the tracks are intelligent and danceable enough to bring a room to life.
11. Animals - Martin Garrix
Aside from “Harlem Shake,” “Animals” from Martin Garrix was arguably the most omnipresent electronic track of the year. The track builds from an unassuming beat into one of the catchiest hooks of the year, not to mention the sample for which the track is named.
10. A Little Party Never Killed Nobody - Fergie, Q-Tip, and GoonRock
“A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” almost seems out of place in this list. The track defies genre, blending hip hop and pop in a wrapper of electronic. But the production by GoonRock pushes this cut off of the “Great Gatsby” soundtrack into the forefront as one of the most intoxicating electronic singles to drop this year.
9. Yee - Deorro
In comparison to a lot of other progressive house tracks, Deorro’s “Yee” is minimal. There are no hooks. There aren’t excessive drops. Just a beat that manages to progress at a bullet speed. “Yee” even garnered praise from EDM’s top man Hardwell for its top notch beat.
8. Messages - Dillon Francis
What is “Messages?” Is it an unnecessary criticism on the role of technology by way of a music format that depends on it? Is it a mindless party track riffing on the same social commentary as a certain unfortunate single from Robin Thicke? Either way, it’s one of the catchiest tracks to drop in 2013.
7. Like Home - Nicky Romero and Nervo
One of the year’s most refreshing new acts, Nervo is the project of two blonde haired Australian twins. In a genre dominated by men, Nervo are proving that the DJ booth isn’t just a place for men. Any one of Nervo’s tracks this year could have made this list-- their production is top notch – but “Like Home,” their collaboration with Nicky Romero is truly something special.
6. Get Lucky - Daft Punk
Daft Punk’s return was one of 2013’s biggest music events. This is the track that started it all. The track’s opening line “Like the legend of the phoenix” was a bold statement of rebirth and return to form that the French duo has not only managed to meet, but exceed.
5. Beast – Vicetone and Nico Vega
Vicetone, the joint project of two childhood friends from Amsterdam, is one of EDM’s biggest breakout stories this year. It seems wherever you look, this duo has been remixing and being remixed by the rest of the genre’s echelon. They may have had their biggest success with “Tremble,” but this remix of Nico Vega’s “Beast” is too intoxicating to deny.
4. Stay the Night - Zedd and Hayley Williams
Russian-German producer Zedd may have helped produce a Lady Gaga album this year as well as break onto charts worldwide with his powerhouse single “Clarity,” but his crowning achievement is “Stay the Night,” which features Paramore singer Hayley Williams. A poppy house ballad, it’s a wonder this track hasn’t been picked up by alternative and pop stations alike amongst the narrowing divide between pop, alternative, and EDM singles.
3. You Make Me - Avicii
If anyone cracked the code in bringing EDM to the masses, it was Avicii. The young Swedish DJ surprised critics with his genre defying album, “True.” The album’s lead single, “Wake Me Up,” an electronic country ballad may have shaken up radio playlists, but “You Make Me” is the most explosive and addicting cut on the album
2. Dare You - Hardwell
Dutch producer Hardwell has certainly had a big year. Jumping from 6th to 1st place on DJ Magazine’s Top 100 poll, the 25 year-old became the youngest DJ to ever top the list. “Dare You” is a cherry atop a year of impressive releases, immediately nostalgic and infectious.
1. Summertime Sadness [remix] - Cedric Gervais and Lana Del Rey
The problematic enigma that is Lana Del Rey was finally solved this year via the inspired remixes of Cedric Gervais. Gervais has reclaimed the tracks, completing entries from the bland and near unlistenable “Born to Die,” and transforming them into some of the year’s catchiest and impressive tracks. It’s as if the two were made for each other.
"Catching Fire" rebels against notions of what YA novel films can be
By Dylan Dobson, 23.11.2013
For the somehow uninitiated, “The Hunger Games” Trilogy follows heroine and quasi-survivalist Katniss Everdeen as she works against the agency of an authoritarian government bent on snuffing her out after her victory in the eponymous challenge—a young adult arena death match—transforms her into a symbol of rebellion.
Whereas the initial volume reads like an Americanized “Battle Royale” for the “Twilight” generation, “Catching Fire” takes a hard shift towards the sci-fi tradition. In the film this translates most apparently in the haunting behemoth city of The Capitol. Towering white obelisks and spires look over modern looking train rails as people dressed in garish costumes with brightly dyed hair flit about enjoying lives of excess while the rest of Katniss’ home nation of Panem struggles in poverty and starvation. The aesthetic here is one part “Star Wars” and one part “Logan’s Run,” a possible future where architects and fashion designers evangelized Baz Luhrmann’s “Gatsby” to the point where the city’s denizens look more like aliens or extras in a Lady Gaga music video than actual human beings.
And that’s perhaps the most poignant thing about “The Hunger Games” films. Though the stories seem to be saying a lot of things about modern issues, the truth of the matter is that the reality of Panem is very much the reality of America. The bizarre culture of The Capitol isn’t so much a far-flung version of what culture could be like in a sci-fi future, but rather a hyperbolized version of the culture we have today.
Despite the inclusion of more sci-fi aesthetics, “Catching Fire” does retread a lot of the ground covered in “The Hunger Games”. Still, the end result is not a shadow of the predecessor, but a better version. This same thing can’t be said of the second novel in the book series, which is often criticized in comparison to the series’ other two entries.
Francis Lawrence takes over from “Seabiscuit” director Gary Ross, and with him goes the shaky cam that irritated so many who saw the first film in the series. Though I personally was a proponent of the use of shaky cam in “The Hunger Games,” its absence in “Catching Fire” is not lamented. Improved also is the film’s pacing. It neither drags nor speeds through the plot of the novel, yet still manages to capture the spirit of the plot without feeling abridged.
Characters are constantly bouncing off of each other in a delightful ballet of conflict. The whole show is so entertaining that even the moments of tense banter between Donald Sutherland‘s dark and efficient President Snow and Lawrence’s Katniss “Girl on Fire” Everdeen are more delightful than disarming. And that might be one of the film’s few detracting values. Everything is just so intriguing and interesting—from the sets to the traps and battle choreography, that you can’t help but just take it all in. There are moments, such as the second-act race first from poison mist then from carnivorous baboons, which are genuinely suspenseful yet still overpowered by just how cool and well-designed each piece of the “Catching Fire” puzzle looks.
Still, the well-developed characters and relationships pay off for the film. Though it’s a tired joke at this point, it’s worth pointing out that “The Hunger Games” films still present a better love story than “Twilight.” The dynamic between Gale, Katniss, and Peeta stands in defiance of typical gender roles in pop culture. It’s almost as if Katniss is being confronted with the dichotomy head on. Should she choose Gale, she accepts the typical dynamic of male protector. Though she looks over Gale, he dominates their relationship. His kisses are stolen and even in his more vulnerable moments physically, the emotional burden is placed on Katniss. Peeta is a direct foil to this. Katniss recognizes he’s too good for her but he remains dedicated to her. She’s constantly saving and rebuffing him while all the while he begs her to open up to him.
The film probably wouldn’t work as well as it does without the astounding supporting cast. What separates “The Hunger Games” films from the seemingly endless buffet of similar fare: “Twilight,” “Beautiful Creatures,” “Ender’s Game,” or the forthcoming yet already eye-roll worthy “Divergent” is that the cast is so dynamic that you’re forced to invest in the plot’s journey, regardless of how ludicrous it may at times become.
As a member of the audience, it’s still believable that Katniss could go it alone, choose neither Gale nor Peeta, and be alright all the same. So is the strength of Lawrence’s portrayal of the feisty huntress, a heroine in a zeitgeist full of defanged female action heroes, to the point where it looks as if Wonder Woman, one of the most prominent female superheroes, may see her introduction into the DC Film Universe as a supporting character to Batman and Superman.
Jena Malone is adorable as Johanna Mason, a tragic and sharp-tongued return tribute whose loyalty is constantly suspect. She’s introduced via strip tease. While the other tributes in the new games presented in “Catching Fire”--all survivors from past competitions—spend their press time begging the public and government to spare their lives, Johanna uses her platform to throw a tantrum, cussing. And when she first appears in the arena, limping from the woods covered in blood, it’s not hard to imagine that she’s done something horrific to another competitor rather than the actual conceit of being caught in a blood rain.
Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, and Stanley Tucci all bring their familiar brand of comforting humanity to the pomp and circumstance of the futuristic media press-entation of the government-ordained bloodbath and remain as vital assets to the film as would-be romantic interests Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth do hindrances. It’s a shame that so much of the plot relies on a romantic subplot, because of all of the interesting things going on, it’s one of the few threads that just doesn’t succeed.
Of course, however, the real focal point of the film remains Katniss herself. Every frame of screen time occupied by Jennifer Lawrence is a reminder that although she may be playing the heroine in a YA action film, she’s still a two-time Academy Award nominee and one time winner. There’s a scene near the beginning of the film where Katniss, afflicted by post-traumatic stress disorder, is suddenly struck with a flashback. The subsequent anxiety attack is one of the most accurate portrayals of PTSD in all of film history. And the final shot of the film alone shows such breathtaking range that without words, it’s all too obvious to know Katniss Everdeen, and in a moment understand the true intention of the film’s title.
“Catching Fire” rises above preconceived notions of what a YA novel blockbuster can achieve. Despite minor flaws, it remains one of the best action films in a year full of lackluster big-budget offerings and half-hearted dramas. 4 hedgehogs.
10 years later "Untitled" still lives up to its name, but does it live up to memory?
By Dylan Dobson, 20.11.2013
It seems like only yesterday that pop-punk royalty Blink-182 announced their breakup in 2005 on an episode of MTV’s “Total Request Live.” The 20-somethings that had clung to the band like a wet t-shirt under a mister on the Warped Tour expanse since the band released “Buddha” in 1993, the teenagers who lost their virginities to “Feelin’ This,” and the pre-teens who wore out their copies of “Charlie’s Angels” on VHS listening to “All the Small Things” all roared in protest at the news.
“Untitled” roars to life with “Feelin’ This,” the album’s first single and anthem of youthful sexual rebellion, before seamlessly revving into “Obvious.” These first two tracks are reminiscent of what were as of this point the band’s most serious entries in their catalogue and served to set expectations straight. Gone were the nude pranksters of “Enema of the State” and “Dude Ranch.” The upbeat and unassuming tracks are pervaded by a sense of loss of innocence and regret in the name and in spite of the sexual energy of their early verses.
The album’s crown jewel, however, is the angsty and soul-crushing “I Miss You.” With its talk of bug eating and references to Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” the track is the exemplar for why “Untitled” was before its time. “I Miss You” captures the aesthetic of the mall-goth-cum-emo Hot Topic rock that would soon overtake the genre via acts like Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance, wrapped up in a catchy melody invoking the call-back vocals between Delong and Hoppus that appeared in all of the band’s most infectious tracks. Most jarringly, it does all of this without inspiring cringe. The foresight to include orchestral strings as well as the haunting piano melody that plays the track out signified the moment Blink-182 joined the big kids table at pop punk Thanksgiving dinner.
From here the album kicks up into the snappy live-staples “Violence” and “Stockholm Syndrome.” These tracks are some of the band’s angriest, yet some of their most eloquent.
The album then slows into its third single “Down,” before turning up the speed for a few tracks before eventually arriving at its fourth, “Always.” The tension between the band member’s narratives and constant fixation on departure may have been warning signs for the oncoming hiatus, as “Always” begins with the solemn resignation “I’ve been here before a few times / and I’m quite aware we’re dying.” A few tracks later comes the album’s end, “I’m Lost Without You,” a similarly forlorn introspection on going solo.
“All of This” is a crisp goth-ballad featuring an often overlooked appearance from The Cure’s Robert Smith. It’s as if his inclusion was to further legitimize the band just in time for its end, as if to say “before we disappear, we want you to know we can be serious.”
“Untitled” succeeds in the same way Refused’s “The Shape of Punk to Come” is often applauded by critics: it predicted and emulated the future of a genre. Some could argue that it was the fact that this was Blink-182’s first post-9-11 album, or that the band had simply grown bored of their childish antics, but “Untitled” is a smart album. And though they first mused “well I guess this is growing up,” in 1997 on “Dammit,” this was the first album that showed the band’s maturity. It’s an album that goes to the most fragile places in human existence--rejection and loss—without inserting a fart joke or laugh track afterwards to cut the tension. And it’s an album focused on moving forward and improving rather than avoiding consequence, as repeated on “Here’s Your Letter.”
Blink-182 recently played the self-titled album in full during five shows in Los Angeles. Every one of these shows sold out. If nothing else, this is an indication that the album has aged at least as well as, let’s say, Shania Twain’s “Up!” has.
"Bound 2" video leads critics to question Kanye's gen-Yeezus
By Dylan Dobson, 19.11.2013
Earlier today, Kanye West appeared on Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show to premiere the video for his single “Bound 2,” which features R&B singer Charlie Wilson. The media immediately erupted in speculation as to what, if anything, the clip could mean.
Despite West’s constant insistence that Kardashian and his love is magic, her role in the video is extremely unromantic. A fetishized Kim appears nude on Yeezy’s motorcycle as he gyrates his hips against her. Perhaps this is to go along with the track’s lyrics involving the cold reality of seduction and love affairs. Perhaps this is to accentuate the idea that love is dangerous, like having sexual intercourse while riding a vehicle through the desert without clothing or a helmet.
Somehow, I feel there has to be more to it than that. This video comes from the same creative mind that brought us the beautiful and operatic 34-minute “Runaway” saga. On the surface, “Bound 2” is one of the simplest tracks on “Yeezus.” The cartoonish sample from Ponderosa Twins Plus One adds a cheeseball quality to an otherwise serious track about the conflicting sides of love. And lines such as “I wanna fuck you hard on the sink / After that, give you something to drink / Step back, can't get spunk on the mink / I mean damn, what would Jeromey Romey, Romey, Rome think?” mask the extremely heartfelt yet schizophrenic conflict between West wanting an object of casual sex and wanting a partner.
Maybe the genius of “Bound 2” is in the fact that this was all Kanye had to do in order to get the attention of the entire press. The Backstreet Boys released the video for “Show ‘Em (What You’re Made Of)” today, but the press were too busy picking away at Yeezy’s new video to even offer a snide remark questioning the fact that the boy band is still releasing music.
Most writers will agree that the hardest part of writing is getting the beginning just right. There's a lot at stake: the first words of any project will set the tone for what's to follow, hook or alienate potential readers, and establish a grounding for any future text.
This is the beginning of a blog. I envision it as one part pet project, one part labor of love, and one part proof of concept for any publication I might be convincing to give me a shot. I warn you the following is an exceptionally long, sometimes self-involved piece. But I hope that it will act as a manifesto for what I hope this blog will become.
I've wanted to write professionally since elementary school. In Kindergarten, rather than filling out grammar worksheets, I asked my teacher if I could write short stories. I would spend time while the other children in my class were napping illustrating these stories. My teacher was my first editor. She would proofread the stories for spelling and grammar before laminating them and binding the pages with a plastic insert.
Authoring picture books seemed more enticing to the other students in my class than filling out worksheets, and within a few weeks a majority of the students were opting to self-publish stories rather than fill out glorified activity book pages on the English language. Our classroom became a juvenile writing collective of sorts, with the teachers making photocopies of each student's work for distribution throughout the class as well as the local town community.
As a child of the '90s, I soon became caught up in the Harry Potter phenomenon. I was particularly enchanted by the narrative surrounding J.K. Rowling's authorship of the novels, and her rags-to-riches story of success only encouraged my dreams. At that time I was dead set on becoming a children's author.
By high school, my goals had changed. By now I was convinced that journalism was a more respectable occupation than authoring novels. I imagined fiction authors as starving artists living from advance to advance and slaving away in order to meet ridiculous deadlines, while journalists, or so I thought, had solid careers to lean on.
While I wasn't far from the truth when it came to authors, I failed to realize that regardless of the level of professionalism a title might appear to hold, by-and-large all writers are starving artists. Either way, I took up a position as a reporter for my high school's newspaper, "The Slinger Nitecrier." By spring semester I had been promoted, becoming the youngest editor in the publication's history.
Even though it was just a high school paper, I took "The Nitecrier" extremely seriously. I demanded a standard of quality from my writing staff and fought with other members of both the school and paper's staff in order to gain the organization a sense of legitimacy.
In my second year on the editorial staff I had found a printer willing to take on "The Nitecrier" for a low cost. Now, instead of being a bimonthly pamphlet, "The Nitecrier" would be printed on full newsprint monthly. Of course, this meant that we needed to recruit more staff. I printed flyers and offered to write three articles a week instead of my usual one in order to fill the expanded issues.
I shared the position of Editor-in-Chief of the paper during my Junior year of high school and took "The Nitecrier" to its very first competitions. I formed a style guide for writers and taught editors how to follow it, as well as how to use industry-standard software such as Adobe InDesign.
For the first two years of my college career, my actual writing took a back seat to studies. A credit overload as well as working multiple jobs made involvement on my college paper, "The Fourth Estate," an impossibility until my Junior year, when I applied for and secured a position on its editorial staff.
Though staff writers were preferred for editorial positions, the management of the publication was impressed by my credentials as well as the skills I'd independently cultivated while working on my high school paper.
While working on "The Fourth Estate," I oversaw the paper's entertainment review section. I remodeled the section after "The AV Club," a favorite read of mine, with snappy reviews heavy in critical insight rather than obsessed simply with concluding whether something was good or bad. This concept proved surprisingly difficult to get across to my staff writers, many of whom were getting college credit from their involvement.
However, as an editor, my articles were oftentimes at the mercy of a management staff obsessed with following AP conventions regarding tone and voice. When doing concert reviews, I'd take notes and model my writing after what I read in entertainment publications I admired. I imagined myself a collegiate equivalent to a "Rolling Stone," "SPIN," or "VICE" reporter. However, the snarky tone and flowing narratives embedded in my articles weren't always appreciated by sensibilities of the editor-in-chief or copy editor.
For example, this is the original copy for a write-up I did covering a Mustard Plug concert at a local punk bar:
Hours before Mustard Plug is to take the stage, hipster-types line the bar with distained looks in their eyes. They sip their two-dollar PBR and Blue Moon, making small talk while chewing pretzels out of the corners of their mouths.
30-somethings speckle the floor, wearing plaid flannel or band tees. These men and women were around for the golden age of the 1990’s. Their best memories were of skanking to the Bosstones or Goldfinger.
“We don’t serve pitchers on band nights,” the bartender, who happens to be wearing a tutu, says to one such man.
“How about really big cups?” he laughs in reply.
Waiflike pixies donning facial piercings in their nostrils and septums—on the Internet they’d be classified as Suicide Girls—litter the counter spaces in search of free drinks.
As the opening band, Orange Iguanas, takes the stage, they seem just as bored as the patrons. Orange Iguanas, which is comprised of Appleton natives, are appropriately named as a reference to one of the most seminal game shows of the 1990s, “Legends of the Hidden Temple.”
The band takes a moment to plug their new album, which is available on their Bandcamp page, before breaking into a thick surfer rock song. The crowd livens up, heading to the stage to catch a glimpse. Despite typically reserving themselves to garage rock, the band is savvy enough to toss in some ska-styled songs with their lone female member, Renee Miller, taking over the trumpet.
A lone figure stands at the front of the stage, a guy wearing a Kermit-the-Frog-green suit with a red beret. Despite the suit, this particular patron looks younger than the average person in the room—probably not old enough to be allowed in the drinking establishment.
This is how is appeared in the paper:
As the opening band, Orange Iguanas took the stage, the members seemed just as bored as the patrons. Orange Iguanas, comprised of Appleton natives, are appropriately named as a reference to one of the most seminal game shows of the 1990s, “Legends of the Hidden Temple.”
The band took a moment to plug their new album, which is available on its Bandcamp page, before breaking into a thick surfer-rock song. The crowd livened up, heading to the stage to catch a glimpse. Despite typically reserving themselves to garage rock, the band was savvy enough to toss in some ska-styled songs with its female member, Renee Miller, taking over the trumpet.
A lone figure stood at the front of the stage—a guy wearing a Kermit-the-Frog-green suit with a red beret.
Manuscript:
The Orange Iguanas proved themselves to be quite promising and versatile. Their entire set was exceptionally refreshing and got the crowd hyped for what was to come.
However, first they would have to make it through the second act.
A greasy looking man with long dark hair takes the stage. He holds the microphone close to his mouth and glances wide-eyed at the crowd.
“We will be the Dirty Rotten So & So’s,” this greasy man who happens to be Christopher Gold, the lead singer of the second opener, announces. “And we are not a ska band. And we apologize for that.”
The crowd groans at Gold’s attempt at a humorous remark. Two hecklers in the back are particularly brutal, shouting out mocking comments after each of the band’s heavy songs. The Dirty Rotten So & So’s offer up a heavy blend of bar rock and alternative. To sum them up, they’re a couple of Manchester Orchestra rejects by way of Gallows rejects, and their music, while fun live, sounds accordingly bad.
After a half-hour of uninspired alternative-punk songs, punctuated by Gold trying hard to be edgy by insulting organized religion, telling quasi-misogynistic stories that begin with him describing his nude form as reflected in a hotel ceiling mirror, and throwing his straw fedora on the ground, the crowd receives a reprieve from him and his rotten So & So’s. Finally, Mustard Plug takes the stage, and the otherwise docile crowd erupts.
How it appeared:
A greasy looking man with long dark hair took the stage. He held the microphone close to his mouth and glanced wide-eyed at the crowd.
“We will be the Dirty Rotten So & So’s,” announced the greasy man Christopher Gold, the lead singer of the second opener. “And we are not a ska band. And we apologize for that.”
The crowd groaned at Gold’s attempt at a humorous remark.
The Dirty Rotten So & So’s offer up a heavy blend of bar rock and alternative. To sum them up, they’re a couple of Manchester Orchestra rejected by way of Gallows rejected, and their music, while fun live, sounds accordingly bad.
After a half-hour of uninspired alternative-punk songs, punctuated by Gold trying hard to be edgy by insulting organized religion and throwing his straw fedora on the ground, the crowd received a reprieve from him and his rotten So & So’s.
Finally, Mustard Plug took the stage, and the otherwise docile crowd erupted. Now, the seemingly unexcitable people who had reserved themselves to the bar all night were hopping around and screaming to the band’s hits.
Do I think my article works better as a narrative? Yes. Was I upset at the edits? No. The reason was that I was --TITLE ALERT-- writing for the job I wanted, not the one that I had, and I realized that at the time.
Let's face it, there aren't many places a journalist-in-training can get flowing narrative reviews or think pieces published. I took the platform I was given and wrote the way I saw fit. However, that meant accepting that some things I wrote might be handled with a less than dainty hand, leading to details being lost in translation.
Regardless, my work on "The Fourth Estate" was well-received by students on campus. And it must have been read by a few people in the greater Green Bay community as well, because my Mustard Plug review inspired at least one think piece of its own from someone with the groovy nom du plume "Lemmy Thru," who was almost certainly not a member of The Dirty Rotten So and So's despite the fact that the band's lead singer sent angry e-mails to my newspaper account, school e-mail account, personal e-mail account, and Facebook account with very similar verbage, including the same peculiar use of the double negative "not ungreasy." I must apologize to him for calling his hat a straw fedora, when in reality it was just a normal, non-straw fedora.
My plan when I graduated from college last May was to spend the summer freelancing and hopefully learn to navigate the field of journalism in the process. That hasn't happened. Instead I'm contently employed as the chief online marketer for one of the most prominent rock venues in the Midwest. And while I enjoy my job, the kind of writing I do there isn't the kind I envisioned myself doing at any other point in my life.
So, in the spirit of writing for the job I want, rather than the one I have, I've created this blog as a place to write things that I would want to read about subjects I care about. Readers should expect a lot of reviews and think pieces, a lot of pop culture speculation, and the occasional chestnut of wisdom gleaned throughout my often bizarre life.
