This is a super long shot, but do you happen to know any guides or tips about how to write smut when your character is transgender? I want to avoid stereotypes but I can't find any information online and I don't want to be offensive.
I don’t have any guides on that in specific. I do have a guide on writing a transgender character and another one specific to masculine transgender identities. Both of those have a bunch of useful information in them, especially when it comes to what terms you can use and what terms not to use. I also have a diversity challenge that’s full of information on the general topic.
The first thing you need to remember is that transgender people are just people; I know you don’t want to be offensive (and the idea of accidentally offending someone is daunting), but focusing on the differences between a cis character and a trans character could lead you in that direction. I’ll list a few things for you to remember, but the most important thing is to treat them the same as you would treat any cis character.
The one thing you really have to remember when writing a transgender character as they shed their clothing is that there is probably at least one thing there that is specific to their transformation and shouldn’t be ignored. Trans man? Then you have to consider whether they had top surgery or not, and whether they’re binding if the answer is no. There are also things like packers and such that might be present. Trans woman? Then does she have a flat chest, an estrogen inflated chest, implants, or does she stuff a bra? Did she have bottom surgery, does she tuck it, or is it hanging proudly au natural? Nonbinary trans people exist too and they can come with any of these questions attached to them as well.
Everyone is different. That’s right, not all trans people are going to be able to give you the same answers to this question, because not all trans people have the same preferences. I’ve seen trans people call their downstairs mixer anything and everything from prince/ss parts to full on scientific anatomy terms. Dysphoria is a bitch, but it isn’t for everyone. Some trans people love their anatomy and they don’t care what it’s called. Some trans people do not like their anatomy at all and prefer more vague terminology– or some one thing they’ve decided upon. How does your character feel about their body? Do they love it? Do they hate it? Would they prefer something cute like prince/ss parts or would they prefer something like aggressively gendered like macho machine or femme flower? The only thing you want to specifically avoid when it comes to terminology is stuff like…. a trans girl calling her who-ha “boy parts.” They’re not boy parts. They’re whatever the hell she wants them to be, but they aren’t specifically gendered in a cissexist way. Dicks aren’t just for boys. Genitals do not equal gender. It is, however, possible for a transgender character to be confused and use the wrong terminology. Not every transgender character is educated and that’s sad but normal. Just don’t pass their cissexist/transphobic thoughts off as truths, explicitly state that they are their own misguided thoughts. And that would give you the chance to learn about being transgender as well, through the eyes of your character as they learn too. Maybe plot with someone to make that happen.
Once you’ve figured out terminology, it’s time to think about how they’re going to feel emotionally and how they’ll respond physically. Are they shy? Will their dysphoria hit? Are they comfortable with their partner? This is the same question you’d approach with any cis character– what are their thoughts on sex and how do they respond to having it? Are they rigid? Are they uncomfortable? Are they tense? Are they fluid? Are they having so much fun they can’t think about anything else? Dysphoria who? Where do they fit on this scale of comfort? Being transgender will affect how they approach sex, it will come up either from their partner or from their own mind, but it doesn’t have to be negative and it doesn’t have to completely rule the scene. It really just depends on what your character feels about sex and about being vulnerable like that.
If your character is going to have trouble breaching the sexual barrier, really consider whether or not you want to make it be because of them being transgender. Can it just be that your character is perfectly alright with being transgender, and they’re perfectly alright with their body, but their aversion to sex and their own nudity stems more from the vulnerability that everyone feels in those moments? If you aren’t transgender yourself, this might be the safest route if you plan on there being any awkwardness with intimacy– it’s better and easier to steer clear of offensive material if you focus on writing a transgender character without trying to narrate the transgender struggle.
