er ken

good luck . if you need me , i'll be saving lives .

[heirapperent]

INDEPENDENT + MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE FRANK LANGDON from the pitt. mobile rules can be found under the cut. KT + thirty + minors / personals DNI.

PLEASE NOTE : frank is canonically addicted to painkillers and went to rehab. i will use the drugs cw, rehab cw etc. tags when necessary. due to the nature of this blog, there will also be a lot of untagged triggers relating to first responder shows. basically if it's something seen on a first responder show, it could be written/shown in gifs etc. here. ( including but not limited to : blood, violence, guns, death etc. ) but if we're mutuals and you ask me to tag something specific for you i will.

CARRD   +   MEMES   +   MULTI   /   AFFILIATED WITH :    @respondsfirst

MAINS + EXCLUSIVES : frank's main ship will be abby langdon ( @respondsfirst ) and she will also be my exclusive abby. unless we plot something romantic between our muses, i will assume he's married to abby. michael robinovitch ( @respondsfirst ) is also my exclusive because of how intricate we have plotted and developed the dynamic between frank and robby. / @empitthy and @abbotmd are my main samira and jack. while they are not exclusive, if their muses are mentioned, unless plotted otherwise, i am talking about molly's samira and mal's jack.

RULES :

DNI IF YOU OR YOUR MUSES SUPPORT : racism, homophobia, transphobia, pedophilia, zionism, anti-semitism, sexism or any other type of bigotry. there are also some problematic face claims i will not write with. do your own research.

FOLLOWING : i do tend to be more picky with who i follow. when you follow, i will make sure you have rules and some type of muse info easily available. then i will look at that info and scroll your blog looking for threads to see if i can see us writing together. anyone who writes regularly with my trusted mutuals will be an auto follow. but if there is no recent writing on your blog, i will softblock. i am also very block happy. i would rather follow a few blogs that i enjoy writing with than a bunch of blogs that i never interact with. i have the right to unfollow anyone for any reason. do not ask me why i blocked one or all of your blogs, i do not owe you an explanation.

ACTIVITY : this multi-muse blog is private and very selective with moderate activity and will be heavily plot and dynamic based. if you don't interact ic or ooc, i will softblock. i am here to write! which means i also want to see replies to memes/starters that i post. you don't have to reply to everything i post, but i would like the effort i put into writing to be mutual. if you want to read fanfic, go to ao3.

INTERACTIONS : plotted interactions are preferred. romantic ships will require plotting and ongoing ooc interactions as well as ic interactions. familial and platonic ships are just as important. i want to develop my muses and their relationships beyond a surface level, not just answer a bunch of memes that go nowhere.

FORMATTING : i will be using basic formatting on this blog. threads will be a mix of small and regular sized text with bold, italics, and color for emphasis. if you want me to change/simplify my text for any reason, just ask. i prefer to write longer length replies, my most comfortable length is two full paragraphs, but depending on muse it can vary. for a lighthearted, unserious thread, i might write one paragraph but i can't do one liners. and i might write three to four if it's for a dynamic that i have a lot of muse for. i will always match my partners' length though.

TRIGGERS : frank canonically has a drug problem so drugs will be mentioned on this blog, but will be tagged with #drugs cw. frank is from a medical show and i write with a lot of first responders. there will be mature content on this blog including but not limited to violence, blood, trauma, death, etc. i will tag some more intense triggers with the #TRIGGER CW format, but i will not be tagging anything that you would see on the tv shows i'm writing with. if there is something that is a personal trigger for you that i missed, please send a dm so i can start tagging it. there may be sexual themes present on this blog but nothing will be explicitly written.

DON'T BE A DICK! in character drama is fun, but keep it between our muses. if you unfollow me, please soft or hard block.

DNI: if you write the following characters: hank voight (chicago pd) + christopher hermann ( chicago fire ) + sylvie brett ( chicago fire )

CREDIT : carrd, graphics, psd, icon template all belong to me. i am not affiliated with any of the media, characters, or faceclaims represented on this blog.

[notmorbid]

house of frank.

dialogue prompts from house of frank by kay synclaire.

i should count myself lucky.

do you remember your promise?

how could i let you go back out there when there's room for you here?

of course i'll pay you for your hospitality.

you run this all by yourself?

what i can offer is a safe place to stay when you have nowhere else to go.

it's a picture of us.

you always made me laugh.

we all have to start somewhere.

i'm perfectly capable of getting around on my own.

i'm sorry if i offended you.

this _____ is very good.

you're from the city, aren't you?

i want to become something beautiful.

i thought i'd be ready to talk about _____.

would you like to tell me a bit about ____?

this should fix you right up.

you're going to need all of your strength.

i was too late. i'm so sorry.

i brought you something to eat.

we all experience life, whether we've had lots of it or very little.

any wisdom i have is from my own foolhardiness.

you keep surprising me.

it runs through my family, this gift. or curse, depending on who you're asking.

how is it that you understand me so well?

i didn't mean to sleep so late.

you're welcome to stay as long as you need.

you have the freedom to make your own decisions.

grief has peculiar effects on us all.

i've never met another who looks like me.

i've always wondered what a beast like me is destined to do.

i believe i was born to love. it's the only course that feels natural to me.

you will love again. you will love people, and things, and food again.

i have a need for an extra pair of hands.

you're buttering me up.

to leave or to stay: that's the big question.

i don't have an ounce of your courage.

there's nothing left for me here.

you seem a bit antagonizing.

whatever you say, princess.

every day is a chance to start over.

i'd like to stay, as long as you'll have me.

you're stretching yourself too thin.

you fix things. you're a fixer.

i don't think you understand exactly who i am.

what are you trying to prove?

i told you i could handle it, so i did.

you tend to underestimate, you know.

why did you lie?

only a pirate would have that many tattoos.

i don't have much of a family anymore.

if there's a time to be honest, it's now.

didn't you stop and think about yourself?

you had to play hero, didn't you?

you know, i notice things, too.

damn it, _____, i like you.

sometimes people get the wrong idea about me.

i like to tease. nothing more.

it's strange seeing you without your ____.

thank you. i'm sorry i didn't say it before.

you've got a lot on your shoulders. i can feel it.

you might not be so bad.

you were trying to tell me, and i wouldn't listen.

i'll find a way to fix this. i always do.

i don't seem to know my own strength.

i don't sound like that.

what's your favorite legend?

____ was the best of us.

you were always so selfless.

___ wasn't always so angry, you know.

we all need to listen to our bodies, when it's time to rest.

i'm afraid i don't know that story.

you can tell me when you're ready. if you're ever ready.

i just wanted you here. you calm me, for some reason.

i thought this damned day would never end.

i keep quiet about my secrets, thank you.

what about a secret for a secret, then?

you've been overexerting yourself. you need to rest.

you're professional when you need to be.

you made this for me?

i don't know what you're implying.

when's the last time you had something new for yourself?

you need to get dressed. it brings you back to a sense of self.

you finally came home to yourself again.

righteous actions still have consequences.

that's what family does: we worry. but we worry together.

things are breaking faster than i can fix them.

that was a sneaky move.

what's going on in that head of yours?

i didn't have any malicious intent. i was trying to help you.

we all handle our grief in strange ways.

rich people never say that they're rich.

i wouldn't think of leaving you right now.

i'm a bit hurt that you haven't heard of me.

it feels like i'm seeing a ghost.

i don't have any alcohol on me, but i do have an ear. two of them, in fact.

the only absolute in this life is that there will always be death, and there is no controlling him.

i'm not afraid to be around you.

i think what you did was brave, and it was brave of you to tell me.

i don't know what's a dream and what's a memory.

did you sleep in here last night?

i didn't think you knew how to have fun.

you make me want to be better, and have fun, and live.

i trust you with my pain. i trust you with my heart. it's all i can give to you.

just because you don't feel alright doesn't mean you can't look alright.

you just got ten times more interesting.

we can only focus on what we can do.

we made it. we're alive. let's work.

you did well, my love.

[fairysmooches]

reunion   rp   meme.

it’s been a while.

long time, no see.

do you have any idea how long you were gone?

you’ve been gone for so long and the only thing you have to say is “hi”?

i’ve missed you.

did you miss me?

why are you here?

did you miss me like i’ve missed you?

why did you come back?

why did you leave?

you’re the reason why i came back.

where have you been?

where have you been all this time?

i thought you were dead.

you’re here and that’s all that matters.

i’m so glad that you’re here.

you owe me an explanation.

so… what’s new?

things have changed since the last time we saw each other.

you’re not leaving again, are you?

don’t do this again.

i’ll never leave you again.

you shouldn’t have come back.

you shouldn’t have left.

i’m sorry for leaving so suddenly.

i told you i would come back.

[NAME]? is that you?

it’s been so long since we’ve talked like this.

things were better before you left.

you’ve changed.

nothing has changed since i’ve been gone.

i thought i would never see you again.

you didn’t even try to look for me.

you left me to die.

i couldn’t tell you before.

you could’ve at least said goodbye.

take me with you next time.

how could you just show up after all this time?

[atempitthy]

are your spidey senses tingling, frank? / @1stresponders

he found her near the edge of the ballroom,  where the noise dulled  &  the lighting turned warm  &  forgiving.  samira didn’t notice him at first — her posture was easy,  drink in hand,  but there was a tension to her stillness,  like she was waiting for the next thing to happen.  her dress was midnight blue  &  moved like smoke when she turned,  slow  &  deliberate,  catching sight of him with a small,  knowing smile.  ❝guess they’ll let just about anyone in, ❞ she murmured,  not quite teasing,  not quite serious. 

he stepped into the space beside her without asking,  the same way they worked side by side in trauma bays — silent understanding,  no need for pleasantries.  she glanced at the ballroom,  the glittering crowd,  the too-loud laugh of someone three drinks in.  ❝feels a little like playing pretend,  doesn’t it?❞ she said.  ❝like we’re all trying to remember how to be people outside of 12-hour shifts  &  endless consults. ❞ her eyes cut back to him,  sharp  &  searching,  though her tone stayed even.  ❝you surviving all this sparkle alright? or should we start a sweep for the nearest exit?❞

[heirapperent]

the nonstop beeping in a hospital could get annoying to a patient or family member, but all the noise had become a comfort to frank. it was the silence that got too loud, or in this case, the dull rhythm of . . . whatever type of orchestral music was playing at the ball. frank would rather be anywhere else— hell, he'd rather be the one on the operating table, listening to the constant beepbeepbeep of the machines keeping him alive. and maybe they were—  keeping him alive. one beep at a time. he was making his rounds, forcing laughter and faking smiles, doing everything a doctor was supposed to do at a social event that was supposed to honor them. it was all about networking in a field like this. thankfully, frank was born with more charm in his left pinky than most people had in their entire body. he was oozing with it. the charming part wasn't the part he was struggling with, it was everything else. he sought comfort wherever he could find it, even if it was from another resident he saw every day, for up to fifteen hours a day, day in and day out because they were two sides of one coin, both workoholics who didn't know when to call the time of death on their own shift. beepbeepbeepbeepbeeeeeeeeep.

"i know you're not talking about me," he volleyed back to @empitthy, taking a sip from his . . . second? or was it his third? champagne flute. he stared at the sparkling liquid like he was waiting for it to join in on the conversation. "they let you in, i was on the vip list," he teased. it wasn't true, but it may as well have been. people loved doctor langdon. with a face like that? he could have been a politician. but he had a little more self respect than that. emphasis on the 'little more.' frank didn't need to dance his way through the crowd to fall into her orbit, they were always circling each other at work, gravity keeping them just close enough without risk of them ever colliding. it was a safe space for them, near but never too close. he considered his options. "surviving? yes. thriving? no." eyes glided around the room until they landed on the closest exist. "wanna race?" he joked, angling his flute toward the finish line before downing the rest of his champagne.

[heirapperent]

i need you to know that frank is one of my favourite muses i've ever written i love getting into the mess inside his head.

[dana3vans]

THE ONLY REASON DANA DIDN'T HURL her clipboard across the nurse's station was because frank walked in just in time to witness her restraint. and frankly, she’d never hear the end of it if he caught her mid meltdown. 'do you enjoy watching me spiral, langdon?' she asked flatly, spinning to face him with one brow cocked and about two hours of sleep behind her. 'because i swear to god, you’ve got impeccable timing when i’m five seconds from committing a felony with a tongue depressor,' the night had been hell. trauma after trauma, two code blues, and a med student who looked like he was going to faint at the sight of blood. dana had held it together. mostly. now, though, seeing frank with that smug smile and that stupid cup of probably still hot coffee in his hand? 'don’t suppose that’s for me?' she asked, nodding to the cup. 'it better be for me,' @heirapperent.

[heirapperent]

he saw it, the way she was pulled as taut as a rubberband ready to launch. —not that doctor langdon would ever find himself partaking in such childish antics in the emergency department. her grip on the clipboard was too tight, knuckles going as white as the hair on top of her head. part of him wished he had waited the three more seconds it would have taken for that rubberband to take flight. that was where frank lived, always wound a little too tight, his own rubberband pulled a little too taut, like it was going to snap instead of soar across the room. "do you want me to be honest or do you want me to lie to you?" he replied, his own dark brow arching in a dramatic show of mirroring hers. "i would pay to see that actually. if i can produce a tongue depressor in the next five seconds can you proceed? you can pretend like i'm not even here. spiral away." he made a gesture for her to continue, his other hand raising his fresh, hot cup of coffee to his mouth — he had the interns other nurses trained well, he was their favourite. the cup was so close to his mouth he could feel the steam on his lips and taste the bitter liquid on his tongue, and still he conceded, offering the beverage to the charge nurse instead. "it's not. but you look like you need it more than me," he admitted with a small grimace.

[heirapperent]

every day i find out something about someone on this cast that makes me want to pull my hair out, so officially saying on the record that if you write h.eather or g.arcia with the original actors as their fcs, do not follow me thanks !!

[divorcedfranklangdon]

[kingsmemes]

「   RP MEME :   NONVERBAL PROMPTS.  mix of violent, caring, touching and non-touching prompts.  」     SEND PROMPT '+ REVERSE' for the inverse to happen. for example 'bandage + reverse' for the receiver to bandage wounds on the sender.

[ BANDAGE ] : sender bandages a wound on receiver.

[ GUIDE ] : sender puts a hand on he receiver's back to guide them somewhere.

[ WAVE ]: sender waves down receiver to get their attention.

[ SIGN ]: sender raises their hand to sign to receiver. what follows can be anything the sender desires.

[ LIFT ]: sender lifts receiver's chin to look at them.

[ LIGHT ]: sender lights receiver's cigarette/candle/etc.

[ FIND ] : sender finds receiver beaten and/or bloodied.

[ PIN ]: sender pins receiver against the wall during combat/sparring.

[ GET DOWN ]: sender tackles receiver out of the way of danger.

[ TAKE ]: sender takes a hit meant for receiver.

[ CAUGHT ]: sender finds receiver somewhere they aren't supposed to be.

[ TRAP ]: sender traps the receiver somewhere they don't want to be.

[ DARLING ]: sender touches receiver's cheek.

[ SNATCH ]: sender snatches receiver's wrist as they turn to go.

[ STAB ]: sender stabs receiver.

[ DRAG ]: sender drags receiver from point a to point b.

[ SIT ]: sender sits on receiver's lap.

[ EN GARDE ]: sender and receiver get into some kind of fight.

[ DRUNK ]: sender finds receiver drunk.

[ BLOOD ]: sender walks into receiver's room covered in blood.

[ FLOWER ]: sender offers a flower to receiver.

[ HOLD ]: sender reaches to hold receiver's hand.

[ BRUSH ]: sender brushes a strand of hair out of receiver's face.

[ NOTE: ] sender writes a note for receiver. the contents are whatever the sender decides.

[ EYES ]: sender notices receiver looking at them.

[ STOP ]: sender raises hand to signal the receiver to stop in place.

[ TAP ]: sender taps receiver on the shoulder to get their attention.

[ WAKE ]: sender gently wakes receiver from a nap or otherwise.

[ MORNING AFTER ]: sender and receiver wake up together for the first time after a night of passion.

[ BLANKET ]: sender drapes a blanket over receiver's shoulders.

[ HUDDLE ]: sender and receiver huddle together in an effort to stay warm.

[ TUG ]: sender pulls receiver away from them.

[ PUSH ]: sender pushes receiver away from them.

[ BULLET ]: sender shoots receiver in a non-lethal area.

[recordmemes]

༘⋆｡ stirring the pot starters

a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!

you  weren't  supposed  to  hear  that.

don't  look  at  me  like  i'm  the  only  one  lying.

want  to  tell  them,  or  should  i?

you  think  i  don't  know  what  you  did?

i've  hit  people  for  less.

oh,  i  thought  you  already  knew.

that's  funny,  you  didn't  say  that  last  night.

say  that  again.  i  dare  you.

you  wanna  talk  about  loyalty?

no  offense,  but  if  you're  the  last  to  know,  that's  on  you.

go  ahead  -  pretend  like  it  wasn't  your  idea!

they  deserve  to  know  the  truth.

you  didn't  hear  this  from  me,  but  -

oh,  so  now  you  care?

don't  flatter  yourself.  you  were  just  convenient.

you  crossed  a  line.

we  had  bets  on  how  long  it  would  last.

it's  not  even  a  secret  anymore.

you  don't  get  to  cry  about  it  now.

touch  me  again  and  see  what  happens.

say  it  again.  louder  this  time.

you  really  thought  nobody  would  find  out?

don't  act  so  innocent.

okay,  but  am  i  the  villain  for  laughing?

tell  me  who  else  knows.  right  now.

this  whole  time,  and  you  didn't  say  a  word?

don't  act  brave  now.

you're  really  gonna  do  this  here?

it  wasn't  supposed  to  get  this  far!

you  can't  rewrite  history.

oh,  i'd  never  say  it  to  their  faces.

it  was  supposed  to  stay  between  us.

we're  all  thinking  it,  i  just  said  it.

you're  not  as  untouchable  as  you  act.

do  you  even  feel  guilty?

they  warned  me  about  you.

go  ahead,  make  it  worse.

if  you  repeat  this,  i'll  deny  everything.

the  next  thing  out  of  your  mouth  better  be  an  apology.

you're  about  three  seconds  away  from  regretting  this.

you  keep  pushing,  and  i'll  push  you  back.

they're  going  to  find  out.

one  more  lie,  and  i  walk.

they're  lying  to  you.

you  need  to  back  off.  now.

you're  defending  them?  after  everything?

don't  try  to  hide  it.

tell  me,  was  i  just  a  placeholder?

you  really  think  sorry  fixes  this?

there's  nothing  left  to  say.

don't  act  like  you're  the  one  hurting.

i  don't  owe  you  any  explanation.

whatever  helps  you  sleep  at  night.

you  should've  seen  this  coming.

i  hope  it  was  worth  it.

i  told  the  truth.  just  not  all  of  it.

you'll  miss  me  before  i  miss  you.

smile.  you're  ruining  the  mood.

i'd  watch  that  tone  if  i  were  you.

it's  not  my  fault  you  believed  me.

you  have  such  a  talent  for  pretending  you're  innocent.

we  both  know  this  is  over.

i  never  said  i  was  a  good  person.

i  thought  you  were  different.

[heirapperent]

happy frank is back in er day to all that celebrate. i'm following molly's theory that frank is repeating his third year residency for my canon until proven otherwise. so that being said . . . like this post for a 'frank's first day back' starter !!

[recordmemes]

༘⋆｡ stirring the pot starters

a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!

you  weren't  supposed  to  hear  that.

don't  look  at  me  like  i'm  the  only  one  lying.

want  to  tell  them,  or  should  i?

you  think  i  don't  know  what  you  did?

i've  hit  people  for  less.

oh,  i  thought  you  already  knew.

that's  funny,  you  didn't  say  that  last  night.

say  that  again.  i  dare  you.

you  wanna  talk  about  loyalty?

no  offense,  but  if  you're  the  last  to  know,  that's  on  you.

go  ahead  -  pretend  like  it  wasn't  your  idea!

they  deserve  to  know  the  truth.

you  didn't  hear  this  from  me,  but  -

oh,  so  now  you  care?

don't  flatter  yourself.  you  were  just  convenient.

you  crossed  a  line.

we  had  bets  on  how  long  it  would  last.

it's  not  even  a  secret  anymore.

you  don't  get  to  cry  about  it  now.

touch  me  again  and  see  what  happens.

say  it  again.  louder  this  time.

you  really  thought  nobody  would  find  out?

don't  act  so  innocent.

okay,  but  am  i  the  villain  for  laughing?

tell  me  who  else  knows.  right  now.

this  whole  time,  and  you  didn't  say  a  word?

don't  act  brave  now.

you're  really  gonna  do  this  here?

it  wasn't  supposed  to  get  this  far!

you  can't  rewrite  history.

oh,  i'd  never  say  it  to  their  faces.

it  was  supposed  to  stay  between  us.

we're  all  thinking  it,  i  just  said  it.

you're  not  as  untouchable  as  you  act.

do  you  even  feel  guilty?

they  warned  me  about  you.

go  ahead,  make  it  worse.

if  you  repeat  this,  i'll  deny  everything.

the  next  thing  out  of  your  mouth  better  be  an  apology.

you're  about  three  seconds  away  from  regretting  this.

you  keep  pushing,  and  i'll  push  you  back.

they're  going  to  find  out.

one  more  lie,  and  i  walk.

they're  lying  to  you.

you  need  to  back  off.  now.

you're  defending  them?  after  everything?

don't  try  to  hide  it.

tell  me,  was  i  just  a  placeholder?

you  really  think  sorry  fixes  this?

there's  nothing  left  to  say.

don't  act  like  you're  the  one  hurting.

i  don't  owe  you  any  explanation.

whatever  helps  you  sleep  at  night.

you  should've  seen  this  coming.

i  hope  it  was  worth  it.

i  told  the  truth.  just  not  all  of  it.

you'll  miss  me  before  i  miss  you.

smile.  you're  ruining  the  mood.

i'd  watch  that  tone  if  i  were  you.

it's  not  my  fault  you  believed  me.

you  have  such  a  talent  for  pretending  you're  innocent.

we  both  know  this  is  over.

i  never  said  i  was  a  good  person.

i  thought  you  were  different.

[heirapperent]

what if his full name is frankly langdon

@empitthy thinks frankly is "mega dateable"

[heirapperent]

Dr. Langdon, Senior Resident. Regarded by Dr. Robby as the heir apparent of The Pitt, Langdon, a charismatic and upbeat presence in the E.D., is everyone’s favorite doctor. He overcame a devastating back injury to become a dedicated doctor.

“frank is everyone’s favorite doctor” i know that’s right.

[heirapperent]

senpai <3

"is that . . . are you calling me old, detective?" he blinked at the cop once, twice, three times before shaking his head. "we're the same age. —we're the same age, right? isn't a senpai like a sensei? someone older and wiser that you look up to? you know what? i'm just going to take it as a compliment. thank you kim burgess, i am wiser than you, thanks for noticing. —but whatever you want, the answer is still no."

[respondsfirst]

frank langdon ( @heirapperent ) : gets in a heated argument with robby.

can a drug addict do this? their previous shift had been hell on earth. everything was still ringing through robby's head like a bad fucking nightmare he wasn't able to escape. over and over. langdon - frank had been stealing drugs. and the worst part is knowing that he had no clue for how long, or to what extent. he didn't see it. ( another one he failed, one more he let slip through the cracks ) and it's making him feel so sick. so when the nightmare shift after the mass shooting was over. he looks to the man who'd been calling him non-stop for the entire rest of the shift after he'd told him to get lost. nodding towards an empty room. he needed his friend, or whatever was left of that, under four eyes - away from prying ears and eyes.

"while i appreciate your help tonight - i told you to go home. i don't want to see you, i need to figure out how serious this is. were you high when you came back? fuck. if you were coming down from that - and someone got hurt? that's not only on you, frank. that's on me too!" and he hates how his voice raises, like it's too loud to be caged in his chest. like he's about to explode. "if you want your job? you'll do a program. full ninety days. not a day fucking shorter than that. you hear me? or you can pack up everything and go tell abby, the kids - and that damn dog - that you're out of a job."

[heirapperent]

frank looked from robby to the empty room and back again, finally getting what he wanted : a conversation with his boss, his mentor, his best friend. that was what robby was to him, he was frank's best friend. he joked about it earlier in shift — 'if you don't have a best friend, what am i?' but it wasn't a joke. their relationship was bigger than just two guys who happened to work together. they were friends. they were friends. and suddenly, frank realized it was a bad idea to get him alone, unfiltered, with no one else around to hear him pour his heart out and kick frank to the curb. again. he stepped into the room anyway because of fucking course he did. there was not a single person in that hospital or on the fucking planet that frank respected more than michael rabinovitch. jack abbot was a close second, but that hardly seemed relevant in the moment and frank could only hope that mentor number two hadn't heard about his . . . discretions. he couldn't lose robby, but he definitely couldn't lose robby and abbot. he needed them.

"robby— no. don't do this." he was already pleading his case before robby finished, shaking his head too much, gnawing his bottom lip raw. he pushed both hands through hsi hair to get it out of his face, but also just to have something to grab onto, tugging onto fistfuls of his hair at the back of his head, only to drop them seconds later so he could flail nonsensically around as he defended himself against robby's accusations. "no— robby, no. i wasn't fucking high. i'm not—" he just started laughing, shaking his head. "i'm not high. i'm not high," he repeated because he needed robby to believe it. he needed robby to believe him. "no one got hurt," he reminded him. "—you couldn't have gotten through this hell shift without me and you know it. you need me robby." maybe that was unfair, but he was desperate and didn't know what else to do. he was about to argue again, but then robby used his achilles heel against him, he brought up abby and the kids. so he licked his upper lip, fighting back the tears threatening to fall even though the dam was breaking. "i can't do a program, robby. i don't need—" he cut himself off, swallowing down the lie. because he was a lot of things, but he wasn't a liar. "don't do this."

[respondsfirst]

frank langdon ( @heirapperent ) : abby tries to calm down frank.

there'd been a shooting - abby had heard on the tv during the evening, after their two kids went to bed. she figured he'd be staying late, also figured he wouldn't tell her. so she decides to make another cup of coffee to stay awake. even if they weren't their best selves at home, she never wanted to go to bed without knowing where he was. so she waits, and waits, and then waits a little longer. before he comes home, opens the door a bit too rapidly. part of her fears that the kids will wake up - they'd love to see him after a day like this, but exhaustion is catching up to her. tanner had been talking about the puppy all day. the one frank had promised him - maybe as a 'i'm sorry things aren't great at home' kind of present. despite the kids not knowing.

but when she sees frank, she's quick to notice something is off. he's upset - more than usual. a frown as she's quick on her feet, moving towards the man who used to be her best friend. used to see each other through everything - he was still in there, and she was still the girl she'd been once they fell in love - somewhere under the job of being a mother to their kids. so she cups his face, searching those crystal blues for answers. "hey - hey," trying again. she's trying to get through to him, trying to snap him out of whatever that is. "talk to me. we used to do that, remember? i'm still here. i still want to listen, i want to talk. please?" unaware of the iceberg that's about to hit their family, hit her husband, she rests her forehead against his. "whatever it is, i want us to fix it."

[heirapperent]

it was a long day at pittsburgh trauma medical center. and frank was sent home sometime before the end of his scheduled shift. except he didn't go home. he tried to go home. but he just ended up sitting in his car in the designated parking lot for employees of ptmc. he didn't even know if he was still considered an employee. didn't know if he would ever be allowed to park there again. that was a scary thing for frank, the unknown. for a long time, he just sat there. and then he drove. but he still didn't drive home. he just drove aimlessly around pittsburgh until he saw them, all the police cars and ambulances and other vehicles going toward the hospital. he followed. and he worked several more hours of what could have been his last shift as a doctor. robby didn't kick him out, but frank knew that he wanted to.

and then the shift was over. there were no more victims coming in, and no more patients to triage. there was no more excuse for him to stay. and robby did send him home. he was so exhausted and had nowhere else to go, so he did actually go home that time. he was expecting his wife and kids to be in bed, it was late. but part of him was kind of hoping that one of them, any of them were still up. because he didn't know how to be alone feeling the way he did. he walked through the door so clinically, like he was just going through the motions. and then abby was there, like a goddamn angel sent from above, cupping his face like he was something precious and not something so fucked up and broken.

"hey," he tried to parrot the word back to her but it was so quiet it was barely even a whisper. hands lifted to grip her wrists too tight, clinging to her like he was scared that she was going to disappear too. he listened to her talk, beg for him to talk to her. but he didn't know how. he didn't know where to start, and he didn't know how to say what he needed to say without taking a bulldozer to the life they built together. a life that they sacrificed so much for, including their relationship. if it could even be called that anymore. he tried to use the forehead touch as a way to ground himself but the longer he stared into her eyes, the further away she felt. until finally he lifted his head and kissed hers. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i'm so fucking sorry," he repeated against her forehead over and over again, tears burning behind his eyes. "i fucked everything up i'm sorry."