HELENA NADA

Writer.

[helena-nada]

01/01/2019

Journaling 

Foreward I’ve decided to give this journaling thing another try so here goes nothing. I’m very familiar with journals and have kept one in the past albeit never for too long. It can actually be quite difficult to remain consistent with entries especially if your goal is to maintain and keep one over a sustained period of time. And I honestly believe there’s no point in keeping one if you’re not journaling consistently. And consistent doesnt mean every day ofc. I know people who journal two times a week and others every two weeks etc. I personally would like it to become a daily habit. So here’s to hopefully being consistent this time round; because I truly enjoy the reflective nature of it and just the idea of jotting down and recording your daily perceptions, experiences and feelings; it’s great to look back on and track progress. 

So, first entry of the year:  Today was a pretty meh day. I’d say I started off rather weak (late morning) and finished strong. As I’m on holidays at the moment; most days are spent reading a range of things; articles, essays, books etc. I try to get a certain amount of reading done each day and I only feel accomplished and good about myself when I finish off the day having met those goals I have set for myself. I’m not too harsh on myself, but because I have all the time in the world and practically do nothing else; I do expect myself to meet those goals. I still have to work on the getting up early thing though. This is something that I started towards the end of last year and have been mostly successful at. I’d be in bed by 10 and up without the aid of an alarm by 6. I’ve fallen off a bit and need to get back on it because getting up early? nothing beats it.  Anyway, I know this entry is a little over the place. I promise the future ones will have more structure. It’s the end of the day and I was about to wrap up and go to bed-then remembered I had to journal...and instead of just pushing it aside and saying tomorrow. I really want to stick to my goals. The length will also vary....I’m not going for essay length journal entries....just as much as I can and I’m willing to write. I feel journals should not be bound or dictated by numbers; just go with what feels right. Write as much as you feel you need to and then call it a day. 

Well...that’s all for today. Signing off. 

Goals for this year:

1. Do well at my final year in college.

2. Smash my reading goals and write as often as I can. 

3. Sleep and wake up early. 

4. Grow my hair longer and look after my skin. 

5. Grow spiritually and as a person. 

6. Do something outside of my comfort zone. (Can be just one thing) 

7. Remain grateful always and filled with gratitude. 

[helena-nada]

23 years

First, I give thanks to God.

I’m grateful to Him for allowing me to see 23 years of life. There are people who don’t make it this far, so I don’t ever take the gift of life for granted. 

Up to a few weeks ago, I didn’t know where I was going in life or if I was happy at all. For a long time, it felt like I was on a road heading to nowhere, which if you know, is truly, the worst feeling. But with growth comes maturity (I don’t actually know if that’s a real saying or if I’ve just plucked it from thin air but it makes enough sense to me so whatever) and a big part of growing up and maturing is knowing and figuring out what does and what doesn’t make you happy and once you have, being strong enough to walk away from that which no longer brings you pleasure. 

So, I made a big decision. I walked away from a well paying retail job to pursue my writing dreams which never was an easy decision. But I decided I no longer wanted to waste my time on something when I was sure I could be making better use of my time and skills elsewhere. So, I traded in security and stability for a dream and how right I was in making that decision is something that I’ll just have to wait and find out.  But, I’m confident that I have set myself up for a good year and I’m pleased to say that I’ll begin posting on this blog more regularly from today. 

A word of advice for other writers out there who might be struggling too; Don’t wait, just do. Often times, and I’ve noticed this with myself, we get trapped into this way of thinking, that our writing just isn’t good enough and we stall ourselves from just getting on with it and doing the damn thing. 

[yesterdaysprint]

The Palmyra Spectator, Missouri, September 19, 1945

[helena-nada]

Self-Love

Self-love like anything else is a process. You don’t get there overnight, it takes work and a hell lot of it. You have to commit yourself to working at it day in and day out and you have to be ready for setbacks. You will love yourself some days more than others and that’s okay because it’s all part of the process. I just hate that we don’t teach and encourage that anymore. That is, the idea that self-love is a process. Everyone today is so eager to alter and get rid of the parts of themselves they are unhappy with instead of learning to love it. Don’t forget that self-love is also learning to love your body the way it is. 

[helena-nada]

Want to know what all these pathetic race-obsessed white supremacists who harp on all day about how white men built modern civilisation have in common? They are usually a rowdy and cowardly bunch of insecure and pea-brained losers who have not achieved anything of great merit in their lives and as such feel inclined to latch onto the achievements of other white men, most of whom are dead, to feel some sense of self-importance. It’s really embarrassing and sad actually, they literally have nothing going for them or anything in their own lives to be proud of and they aren’t that bright either, so they just ride the accomplishments of other dead white men to feel superior.