[thememedaddy]

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[basedhighsenberg]

[batavias]

Oedipus... You gagged us all with your mother fucking ingenuity, but it just wasn't enough for us to incest upon an encore. I'm sorry my darling but you're up for elimination

[helenhole]

[trying to snort cocaine through a crazy straw]

SNNNNNNHHHHHGGGGGGGGFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[gets lightheaded and passes out] [hits head on the table] [dies instantly]

[cucurb]

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

[draculagerard]

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

[2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

at your wifes house rn😏 she hitting me with a broom

[aynrandbussycrusher]

hi, you've reached the marriam Webster hotline. marriam Webster is not in right now.

if you'd like the definition of aardvark press 1

if youd like the definition of aardwolf press 2

[dsmsix]

Richard Gadd (actor from Baby Raindeer) 2015

[helenhole]

[spiralfucker]

They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

[helenhole]

[lawoftheclaw-deactivated2025073]

Me: I'll take "Some Other Shit" for 800, Alex.

Alex trebek: when it comes to blowing vape smoke all over a baby, we still dont know the blank of its blank.

Me: What is, "ramifications, hazards" ?

Alex trebek: exactly right, "mf hoe". You still have control of the board

[targetedknowledge]

[basedhighsenberg]

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,