Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader / Winter Soldier x Fem!reader
Summary: Hydra has a way of hiding secrets and one of them just happened to be you. The support Soldat to the famous Winter Soldier himself. But in a mission gone wrong, things changes, and life just isn’t as it seems.
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of depression/ptsd, anxiety, blood, angst, violence, guns, female oral, sex, swearing
A/N: I apologise. It has been a while since I posted but I lost a lot of motivation and a lot happened (classic fanfic author line xD) Recently a lot of people have been finding this series (I am very surprised) and after seeing that I kinda got the urge to finish this chapter which I got stuck on. Finally I finished it although it took a turn I was not expecting to go! So enjoy! I aim to write another chapter soon!
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six
Taglist: @matchat3a @locht3ssmonster @cjand10 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @the-kestrels-feather @drunkbirdbug @dpaccione
You waited. You needed everyone to sleep before you made an exit, which was helped by the added alcohol during the evening. You had offered Natasha the bedroom, claiming that it was her turn, that she needed a good rest. You were happy on the sofa.
Everyone had gone up just after midnight, leaving you alone. You listened to everyone, you could hear the soft snoring of Tony and Sam, Steve was a silent sleeper, but his heart rate was slow and steady, the same with Natasha. The kids had settled quickly, and she could hear Clint and Linda's slow breathing.
Everyone was asleep, now was the perfect time.
The folder and the contents were spilled out on the coffee table in front of you, the small lamp beside you the only light in the room. You had been staring at the picture of Bucky and Rumlow for the last half an hour, wondering how to approach the situation.
You wanted to go straight to the warehouse, straight to where Fury said Bucky would hit next. But it was going to be hard to get there in time. You would have to steal one Clint's cars, which was going to leave you feeling guilty.
You sigh, rubbing your eyes. Having feelings really sucked. You knew you had to find Bucky; you couldn't leave him alone. You wanted to be with him, but at the same time there was this growing love for the team you would be leaving behind. Although Tony had said few things, he had still helped you. So had the others.
Finding Bucky would mean leaving Steve. It would be another betrayal that would weigh on you, but you were sure he would understand. She had heard the many plans to leave and help Bucky without the rest of the team, being a prisoner of sorts meant you heard a lot of things.
"When I said make your own path, I didn't mean this exactly."
You startle at the voice, looking behind you at Clint, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. He was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. He had a small smile on his lips.
"Mean what?" You question, quickly grabbing all the photos and information and placing it back in the folder. "I don't know what you are talking about."
Clint chuckled, walking over to the table, looking at the folder with interest. "So that isn't a folder with specific information on a certain someone?"
You shake your head, sliding the folder away from him.
"Right, and a certain man called Fury didn't drop it off. Right. I got it."
You stare at Clint before huffing, shoving the folder his way as he settled in the armchair opposite you. Clint was too good; you could see how he was a good agent. He was trained well.
"For a super soldier who is supposedly trained by the best, you really suck." Clint shakes his head as he grabs the folder, flipping through the photos, his face passive as he observes them. "These are Hydra warehouses and bases right?"
"Fury said they were," you nod. You had scoured the pictures, staring at them. "I recognise some of them. Fury said that Bucky was the one to do this, that he was going to hit the other one soon, most likely tonight or tomorrow."
Clint hummed as he placed the folder back on the table, rubbing his chin. "You're leaving then."
"I need to Clint, you were the one that told me it was time to make my own decisions, to make my own choices in life."
"Didn't expect you to make a choice to leave, but hey, I'm not going to stop you," Clint shrugs, resting back in the chair, feet up on the coffee table. "You are more than capable of fighting, although I personally hope it’s better than your lying skills."
You let out a small laugh. You enjoyed Clint's dry humour and his bluntness. It was refreshing. Everyone else did seem to walk on eggshells around you, Clint didn't.
"You aren't going to stop me?"
"Why should I? In my opinion, Bucky is doing us a favour, taking out Hydra. I should thank the guy really," he chuckles to himself. "You're a grown woman, you make your own choices. If I were in a similar situation, I would do the same."
You muse over Clint's words. You were glad that Clint wasn't going to be angry or hold a grudge against you. In the last few days, he had become a sort of father figure to you, even though you were definitely older than him. It was something that you needed right now.
"What's your plan? You could go straight to the warehouse, but what if it's already gone? The trail is cold then."
You lean back, closing your eyes, your hand subconsciously finding the cold metal tags. The feeling of them quelled the panic that was rising in you. You had thought about it briefly, that Bucky might've already moved on. You weren't sure what to do then, you could easily try to pick up a trail, but it would be hard, you had both had training, you both new how to disappear.
"I'd have to dig deep in my head I guess," It was the only solution. You'd have to open yourself up to the memories, force them back into your head so that you could find something.
"Doesn't sound like much of a plan," Clint says. "But if that's what you want to do. A tip though, a birds eye view is better than being down on the ground, you see more."
Clint stands up, digging in his pockets before throwing something at you. You catch it with ease, looking down at the keys in your hand. You weren't sure what they were for exactly. You look up at him, confused.
"Don't scratch her, or I'll hunt you down, soldier or not," Clint pointed a finger at you. "The key will override the voice activation for the quinjet, it will allow you access to fly her. You'll find weapons there too."
You look down at the keys again before looking back up. Something swelled in your chest, it was overwhelming but pleasant. You were some thankful for him, for what Clint was doing. "Thank you, Clint, you don't understand."
You stand up, walking over to Clint. You take his hand, squeezing it gently. Clint brings up his hand, resting it on the side of you neck, pulling you closer. "I do. You'll find him, I'm sure of it. So, look after yourself, I'm fairly sure the kids and Linda would be sad if you died. I might be too, but don't count on it."
Clint lets you go, patting your shoulder lovingly, grabbing the folder and holding it out to you. You take it, folding it again, putting it in the pocket of your hoodie.
"Take this too," Clint say, holding out a small black phone. "It has my number programmed into it. If you need anything call it."
You nod and take it, pocketing it too. "I didn't see anything. You were already gone."
You chuckle as you start to leave. Before stepping over the threshold, you look back at Clint as he leans against the doorframe again. He was watching you with a smile. "Go save yourself and Bucky. Just don't die."
You give him a mock two finger salute as you leave, quietly closing the door behind you. The quinjet was still where Clint had parked it. The absence of city lights made the moonlight even brighter, illuminating everything with soft glow. It was enough to see.
You rushed forward, the quinjet opening after you pressed the button on the key. It was cold inside, but it didn't bother you. You sat down in the front seat, looking at the controls in front of you.
During your time at Hydra, you had been trained to pilot and drive plenty of vehicles, it had fit in well with the other training, the languages the fighting, the medical training. They were making the best human machines they could.
You press the button and flip a few switches, the quinjet coming to life, the hum of the engine quiet. The disembodied voice of Friday came through the speakers.
"Voice activation required."
Clint had said this would happen. You find the place where the key went, shoving it in. You wait before the voice speaks out again. "Override complete, state your name."
"Thank you, ready to fly. Would you like to plot a route for you?"
You flip open the folder, looking down at the different burnt down warehouses and bases before you land on the last one that he had done. It had happened barely a day ago, you needed to see if there was something there. To see if Bucky was close by.
You read aloud the address, the confirmation coming up. In front of you was a screen that had a map open, a small red dot where the warehouse was. It wouldn't take too long to fly to it, a couple of hours.
You look back at the house, no lights on. Clint had most likely gone back upstairs. You would get to the warehouse by morning light. They would know by then, that you had left. You knew they would feel the betrayal and the anger.
You sigh as you grab the joystick, lifting the quinjet off the ground. It was quite a quiet jet, for which you were thankful. You didn't want to wake anyone up. Not now.
Without a second look back, as you weren't sure you could, you aimed the quinjet in the direction you needed to go and took off. It was going to be a long few hours.
It didn’t take as long as you thought it was going to. You had found the cruise control fairly soon after managed to go digging into the small armoury that jet had. The gear you found was decent, similar to what you used to wear with Hydra.
Putting it back on, the memories flooded your head. Flashes of blood and victims. The smell of gunpowder, metal, and waste. The sound of cries and gunfire. The few images you got of Bucky were of him drenched in blood or the cold distant look. You pushed them down, just like the bile in your throat.
It was getting easier to do that, but you weren't sure if that was a good thing or not.
The weight of the weapons was familiar but wrong. This wasn’t what you wanted to be anymore. You didn’t want to be a weapon yourself. You didn't want to be a soldier. But you knew that this was something you had to do. Something that you needed to do for the both of you. Either way, Bucky was going to be free from them, no matter what.
The jet grounded itself. You grabbed the key card and the spare set of keys you found from the console, tucking it into your boot, breathing in deeply as you watched the lights of the jets control flicker out.
The air was similar to that of your memories. Thick with ash and the tang of explosives. The smell of burnt wood and rubble was strong too. The trees closer to the warehouse hadn’t faired too well against the blast and had been either blasted to splinters or thrown into other trees. There were bits of small rubble even this far out.
Instantly your boots were covered in ash from the ground, your footsteps obvious on the ground. As you got closer, you had to climb over rubble and trees until you got as close as you could to the warehouse. It was hot to be near, the embers of the building smouldering.
You knew without having to look around, there was no evidence. Bucky had covered his tracks well. He was trained to do this kind of thing without it ever coming back to him. You had ignored the voice in the back of your head that kept telling you that this was going to be harder than you thought.
Why couldn’t you just know where he was instantly?
At the sound of an all too familiar voice you found the gun you had holstered on your thigh pointing at the man you knew all too well, the safety already off. At your reaction, the men around him aimed their weapons at you. Pierce smiled, his eyes glinting.
“Now, now, no need to resort to violence,” he said. Neither side moved to lower their weapons. You weren’t stupid. “I’m not here to hurt you Soldat, or is it y/n now?”
You let out an inhuman noise, almost like a growl. “Don’t call me that. I’m not under your control anymore.”
Although there was a small itch at the back of your head as he said the word. You squashed it quickly though. It wouldn’t be enough to control you anymore. Not again. Never.
“I can see that,” Pierce hums. “You can put the gun down though, I’m here to offer an olive branch of sorts.”
“An olive branch? Really? After everything?” You scoff.
“Don’t bite the hand that offers y/n. We both know why you are doing this, what if I offer him to you? You come back; we’ll get him. Together.”
There was an indiscernible fury that built like a roaring fire inside you at his words. “Come back? Why would I do that? I am finally free. Free of your orders! Free from this fucking nightmare you put me through! I will save Bucky. You will never have us again.”
Pierce clicked his tongue, his eyes hardening. You hated that look. Pierce never fought fair, he was scrappy and a dirty fighter. “You had your chance. I guess we will just have to clean up loss ends. Kill her.”
You moved fast, the training settling into your bones and muscles like an old friend. You ducked behind a large piece of rubble as the order was said and the rain of bullets came. It was loud and far too close for your liking.
You took stock of your gear; you had three guns on your but not enough ammo to go wild. Knifes and two grenades. You had got out of stickier situations with less. A feral grin spread over your face.
Why were the underestimating you?
Did they forget who trained you? Who you had worked beside for decades?
You weren’t to be underestimated anymore.
With that thought you grabbed one of the grenades, ripping the pin out with your mouth and chucking over the rubble into the middle of the soldiers. You waited a few seconds before the explosion rattled the ground and the screams of men filled your ears.
You hated this. Fighting.
But a part of you, a dark and deep part of you relished in it. Bathed in the screams and blood of those who opposed you. This was feeding something within you that you kept locked up. The Soldat in you preened.
You let out a harsh breath and stood up, picking of the soldiers one by one. Using every skill and weapon available to you. Pierce had already escaped. You didn’t care at this point. You would find Bucky and you would rescue him.
“Now let me make love to my beautiful fiancé.” Bucky’s voice was husky and low, his lips swollen from the breath-taking kiss. He watched you breathing heavily, your eye’s lidded, your chest bare for him to see. Your nipples were raised either from the cold of the room or the arousal you felt, it didn’t matter at this point.
You hummed in agreement at his words. Bucky wasted no time in pushing you back down on to the bed with one hand, pushing you knees apart with the other. your body was so pliant, like he could do anything to you.
He brought his lips down to the inside of your thigh, the skin smooth and untouched. His hot breath made your body shiver a small gasp leaving you lips. He chuckled lowly at it.
“I haven’t even touched you yet,” he mumbles against your thigh, his lips a ghostly touch against the sensitive skin. Before you could even reply Bucky peppered a few kisses up the inner of your thigh moving towards your pussy.
Bucky wasted no time; he devoured you like a man starving would. To him, he was. He loved the way you mewled and moaned under his touch, under his mouth. He loved the way you tasted, the way you grabbed his hair as he used his mouth to please you.
Heaven was the only thing Bucky could think of as he felt your hips buck, pushing yourself further into his mouth. Pulling back, breathing heavily, his mouth covered in your wetness, he brought up a finger, running it over your folds.
You preen at the touch. Not enough but at the same time, too much for your first time. Bucky was sure you felt the same as him. His nerves were alight, his whole body was tingling. He was harder than he had ever been, the bare sight of you flushed and at his mercy making him twitch.
He slowly pushes in a finger, letting out a soft groan as he could feel how warm and wet it was. It was almost too much for him. With tediously slow movements he watched as he started to thrust his finger in and out, watching as his hard started to shine from the wetness.
He added another finger, watching as you close your eyes, a sinful moan falling from your lips. the bed covered were screwed up in your hands, your whole-body shivering. He couldn’t help the smirk on his lips, the pure pleasure he brought to you. He would eat you out all day and everyday if it brought out noises and sights like this.
He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to leave the bed if you looked like this every time, he made love to you. He was a whipped man, which was for sure.
Bending down again, he continued his torture on your pussy, licking, sucking, and gently biting as he brought you over the edge, his fingers never stopping their assault. Bucky almost whimpered as you grabbed his hair, calling out his name as you fell over the edge of pleasure, your moans breathy.
You collapsed back on the bed, chest heaving. Bucky felt proud of himself, he had given you this pleasure and by God would he do it again. He was a glutton for everything to do with you and couldn’t get enough. A starving man and the only meal was you.
He knelt back, grabbing your legs and wrapping them around him as he pushed you up the bed at the same time, he mounted it. Your legs feel slightly, he could see the dazed but happy look on your face.
“Ready?” He breathed out, watching you for any signs you didn’t want to go any further. Like a moment of clarity, you opened your eyes, looking at him with something so pure and raw. He held his breath as your hand cupped his cheek, a soft smile on your lips.
“Make me yours, in every way,” You whisper, the words quiet but oh so loud. Bucky’s heart swelled in his chest as he looked down at your, his love, his world. You were his reason in every way. You were his heart at this point, it was beating for you. He was alive for you, and he would never forget that.
He would never forget this moment. It was burned into his brain as he watched your face become serene as he filled you. He let out a shaky moan before bending down and capturing your lips.
Bucky woke with a start, the hazy rose lighting of the dream gone, replaced with the cold and dark lighting of reality. It wasn’t the first memory that had returned recently but this is the first one that had left such a heavy feeling in his chest.
His cheeks were also wet.
Bucky huffs as he looks over at Rumlow, tied up to the concrete pillar, legs and feet bound. His face was swollen, his lip split. Bucky also knew he was sporting broken bones, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care.
“Don’t be like that big guy, care to share the details? I heard you moan so must’ve been good. Was she any good? I’ll have to have a try as well.”
Bucky didn’t remember moving but suddenly he had hauled Rumlow up off the ground, his throat under his metal arm, tightening. Rumlow had a smirk on his lips though. His lip was bleeding again, dribbling down his chin.
“There he is,” Rumlow choked out. “Can’t take the soldier out of you.”
Bucky wanted nothing more than to kill him. To rip his heart out and feel it stop beating in his hand, but he couldn’t. Not until he was finished. For one thing, Rumlow was right, the solider had never left Bucky.
It was there, always in the back of his mind. It took a lot in him to fight back but it was getting easier. The more memories that returned to him, the more he felt like he wasn’t drowning. He felt like he had something to hold on to, something to keep afloat.
But he had to be better. He had to get rid of anything that could harm you. Until that moment, he would stay as the soldier as long as he needs to, as long as it takes to rid the world of Hydra.
Then he can come home. Then he can try and be Bucky again.
