For the record
Going against my nature and giving my side of the story - an introvert’s nightmare, but critical at this point
This is in no way designed to turn anyone against the Hellblazer who is the subject of this letter. This is only to tell my side of the story because I have in recent weeks been unable to RT some Hellblazer tweets only to learn I have been locked out of them at this person’s request; other tweets that have both of us tagged do not get shared if she can stop them; people have been encouraged not to follow me, have even been asked to report me to twitter for harassing her! (As if!) Some of you may have even been told I called her passive aggressive and told her she throws tantrums like a four-year-old and should grow-up. OH! Wait. That last part did happen, but only that last part and that was in a DM to her as I informed her I was blocking her and exiting all Hellblazer DM rooms so she could have them to herself, but I was a Hellblazer and would not be leaving so she would have to deal with it.Â
From that point until very recently I gave very little thought to said person until an exchange with another passive aggressive Hellblazer took place on the TL. At the end of it I invited the other crazy kids to come out to play. It wasn’t a real invitation you crazy kids. You can all go back under your beds, L-O-L Under normal circumstances I would have never tweaked someone like that but Juliet brings out a special kind of punchiness in me…if you know what I mean.Â
Back to the story.Â
Why would I have so directly informed someone I believed she was emotionally immature and behaving like a person in need a psychiatric assistance before literally blocking her from communicating with me further? Because of these behaviors, which were the culmination of weeks and weeks of non-stop BS that built up in the days prior to that DM: Â
To set the stage, we belonged to a DM room named PINK POODLE in reference to a suggestion by @nightcatarts (not a Hellblazer) to use the pink poodle emoji (android) as punctuation to indicate sarcasm. The room was not connected to Hellblazer business; however it was comprised of Hellblazers who tend toward sarcasm and snarky humor. The subject came up. I mentioned N-C’s thoughts. The name was born.Â
I don’t like DM rooms because they tend toward exclusion not inclusion and at the time the Hellblazers were struggling with divisiveness and cliques. If you supported Plan A for Constantine, then you backed so and so and couldn’t be friends with these people. If you believed in Plan B, then you must undermine Plan A by pretending to be friends with these people but really only …. I’m not kidding.Â
That’s the stage. It’s like you’ve tripped over your gym bag and awakened in the grade 7 locker room.Â
Now to get to the right calendar day: It’s a few days before the announcement Matt Ryan would appear as Constantine on Arrow.Â
The mood? Meh, same old shit. Different day. Until……-turn the page-
Wait? what shall we call our subject person? How about Pauline? She’s always playing the lead in “The Perils of Pauline” after all. Okay, turn:Â
Pauline made a Constantine poster for the TL that featured a pink poodle. I asked her in our DM room if she considered that might make some people ask for the meaning and then create a problem if someone found out there was a room they’d not been invited to join. I suggested she might want to take it down and we’d just have to enjoy it ourselves.  She’s a full grown adult, capable of saying no. She took it down off her main thread, although it was still up on crossed threads along with her comments to her supporters that she’d been “told to take it down.” I never made another suggestion about it as far as I recall, but that really increased tensions in the room.Â
Not long after came the announcement about #ConstantineOnArrow Bear in mind this is something most of us had been working very very hard to achieve. I was elated, but when I got into the DM what I found was Pauline saying, “It figures the one time I get to go to a comic con and he’s cancelled. I’m cursed. I might as well cancel my reservations. I hate my life. I give up. Why do I bother. I can’t believe he’s letting fans down like that.” I’m not even exaggerating. Hyperbole? Not by half!
All of us let it go on for a little bit figuring it would calm down but then it got to be too much and several of us snapped. For my part (I won’t name or implicate the other Hellblazers involved) I told her I couldn’t believe her negative attitude, that she was one of the luckiest of all of the Hellblazers. She’s followed by pretty much all the majors in the show. She’d been promised a meet by Matt after the play. And, the only reason he had to cancel in Chicago was to film effin’ Arrow – the very GD thing we’d been working toward, which was getting Constantine back in his trench and back on the tellie! WTF! I told her if she called herself a Hellblazer she would stop her whining and would get her shit together and reach out to other Hellblazers who might not have half her good luck and might be genuinely missing out because of the cancellation in Chicago and encourage THEM to come anyways and plan a Hellblazers meet-up to celebrate the victory. FFS!
This really happened. If she denies it, she’s a liar. There are others who were present. They may or may not come forward to confirm this.Â
Shortly after this she regained her common sense and began to get excited about her trip to NYC to see the play – which at that point would be a couple of months away at least! But it was urgent that she begin *talking about it immediately. *obsessing
She was very concerned that Matt was not sincere in his tweet when he said he would be delighted to meet with Hellblazers after the play. She wondered if she really would meet him, what could she do to meet him, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear (while the train come tearing down the tracks toward poor, poor Pauline!) I snapped. I couldn’t help myself. I’m a rescuer and I had the means to come to her rescue. As a strategic communications professional, I knew the opening night gift I had in mind to send from Hellblazers would work for her. I said, “If it was me and I wanted to make sure someone knew when I was coming, I would send a memorable gift and include my ticket info on the card.”Â
I suggested she send a whisky basket (someone who knows suggested which) with the inscription, “Let’s toast to your present and future success!” and jot the ticket basics. That’s all. Have it sent the day before or the morning. If there’s time, I’m certain you’ll meet. If there’s no time, it’s guaranteed you’ll be talked about and remembered. When I mentioned the price she freaked a little and I reminded her that it had been my plan to send it and I’d still like to be part of it and would go in with her – which she refused!!!!! JUST LIKE THAT she cut me and all the Hellblazers out of the effin gift that I PLANNED!!!! And never gave me any credit for it. Thanks Pauline. You’re a champ.Â
Aaaahhhhhh. Let’s see. What came next?
I think after that she just started not coming into our room very often. Or if I was in she got out. I watched it going on for a week or so, the cold shoulder. Commented on it a couple of times, less out of concern for her than for concern for the others. I talked about it at length with a few of my friends. Burdened a couple of them because I tried to think of ways to fix it. But you know, you can’t fix that kind of broken. You just can’t.Â
So I wrote her a very direct DM and didn’t withhold the truth. Then I blocked her. I exited all the Hellblazers DM rooms, including the ones with my closest friends, letting them and her know that I thought it was easier to let her have them than to ask anyone to pick a side.Â
After that I made a decision the DM world is not my world. In general I won’t say anything in DM that I wouldn’t say on the TL anyway but have found that others will drag me into DM to have conversations they can use out of context. So, new policy Hellblazers, as many of you have heard, I don’t DM with 99% of the world, and you’re probably one of the 1%. No offense intended. Meet me on the TL.Â
I am very blunt but make every effort not to be cruel. If I have been cruel, let me know. I want to know. You may deserve my bluntness. I’ve deserved it from others. It hurts. You can grow from pain. Cruelty is not good for growth. I won’t let you be cruel to me or others.Â
This is long. Not all of you will have taken the time to read it. For those of you who have, Thank you! Thank you.Â
All anyone can ask is to be judged on their own merits. I’m not asking anyone to unfollow, block, shun, mock or whatever “Pauline.” You can tell from my tone that I’ve had to take a “can you believe this shit?” attitude. Because, honestly, you can’t make this stuff up, but at the same time mental health is not a joking matter.Â
Just… if you’re gonna hate me, I want you to hate me because I’m actually imperfect. Rumor has it someone resents me because she thinks everyone believes I’m perfect!!!! Who knew?Â
Therefore, I’m not going to read for typos.Â
Yours in love,
L
H-elle-blazer
@elle4short twitter
P.S. Just to be absolutely totally honest and confess ALL my dirty deeds, she was who I had in mind when I submitted the question about bunny boilers to Chris Gordon for the interview with Jonjo O’Neill on Ramblings of a Hellblazer. Hmmm. This might be actually be cruel. It’s a tough call. Just Sayin’Â
P.S.S. Someone use the mop to clean up the mess, I’m pretty sure a head exploded out there.Â
Post Post
I realized after putting this up it sounds as if I’m the only person having been insulted and taken advantage of by the Perils of Pauline. Heck no! I’ve known her since May and at that time she had minimal graphics editing skills. I’ve committed to not naming Hellblazers here, so I cannot give credit where credit is due… but neither does Pauline. EVER! EVER! EVER! Never EVER! Early on she got a lot of help from others. Now she relies on less help, but still uses a great deal of work done by others. Think of the Hellblazers who create art. Yup. That person helped her. Yup, prolly that person did too. Someone I’ve publicly disagreed with deserves a great deal of credit for teaching her when she knew almost nothing! Not only does she not credit them when her posts are recognized, but… (taking a deep breath) … she goes apeshit of someone’s tweets are recognized and hers are not. Day by day.Â
How do I know? Because at one time I was willing to endure one-on-one DMs with her in order to let her “VENT” and was even talked into sharing a small “Boiler Room with her and a couple of other really really nice people who often thought I was avoiding the room because of them, but no luvvies. It was never you. It was always because one can only endure a certain amount of ingratitude before one must respond with unrestrained anger (Jesus with the money lenders at the Temple, anyone? Not that I’m Jesus…lol…but if Christians believe even Jesus had a breaking point, ya know… ) It was months of this. It was hearing about all of you and knowing the crimes she believed you’d committed against her were likely imagined. It was hearing her fury that Jonjo RTd this person’s poster but not hers. Or that Harold responded to that person’d DM but not hers.Â
If you’re wondering if you’re included among those against whom she’s railed. You’re gonna have to ask her. Considering that a few of you admitted to me you feel badly for having treated me wrongly because you’d been asked to without even having known me, the rest of you must know I can’t be alone.Â
Anyhow, to the those who’ve been uncredited - I salute you! Whoop!
L
Keep reading
Had to update in order to credit the uncredited.Â











