I have a silly request! Hinata and Yachi, gay bffs, awkwardly asking their least intimidating (aka tall) sempai, Noya, for dating advice (for Kageyama and Shimizu respectively). Tanaka overhears and tries to help too. Basically, Karasuno's Designated Heterosexualsâą trying to help out their gay kohais but having no idea what they're doing. (Maybe the third years save their disaster children, maybe not. Up to you.)
hskjdfkjs I hope you enjoy this nonsense. Itâs kinda cracklike, almost, because this prompt just makes me laugh. Thank you so much for your patience my friend~
âHinata-kun,â Hitoka says, holding onto his messenger bag tightly so he doesnât run off. He vibrates slightly with that eternal wellspring of energy that seems to keep him running. Very few people have energy like Hinata. âAre you sure about this?â
âOf course,â Hinata says, grinning widely at their target with stars in his eyes.
She understands Hinataâs plan fairly well. It makes sense, it would even be considered a good plan. After all, Hinata is planning to ask out Kageyama. Kageyama has a scary face sometimes and itâs never more scary than when heâs dealing with Hinata. He gets this narrow eyed look with twitching eyebrows and anything from a pouting frown, like he canât believe heâs being forced to spend time with Hinata, to an outright snarl.
Itâs kinda funny how even though he acts like he canât stand Hinata it took them half of the lunch period to convince Kageyama that he didnât need to go with them. He looked kinda betrayed too, pouting and glaring and calling Hinata more names than usual. Hinataâs got his work cut out for him trying to woo Kageyama Tobio.
So yeah, Hinata needs all the help he can get. His idea of asking for help is a good one. Where it all breaks down is where Hitoka comes in.
See, Nishinoya is a huge fan of Shimizu.
This seems like a non sequitur until you remember that Hinataâs plan isnât just that heâs going to ask Nishinoya for advice on asking Kageyama out, itâs that Hitoka is going to ask for advice on asking Shimizu out at the same time.
Hitoka is going to die. Sheâs going to be killed. She knows how serious Nishinoya and Tanaka are about Shimizu. Sheâs seen them defending her from strangers even looking at her. Theyâre super fans, the kind she was scared of the moment she first saw Shimizu and how amazingly beautiful she is. Hinataâs idea of asking for advice from Nishinoya is great for him but theyâll never find Hitokaâs body.
This is all because they started commiserating on their crushes together. Hitoka should have just kept her mouth shut. She should have continued to crush from afar. She shouldnât have ever thought it was a good idea to give Hinata encouragement and ideas.
âHinata-kun,â Hitoka hedges.
âDonât worry, Yacchan,â Hinata says turning his blinding smile on her. âNoya-senpai is so cool, heâll know what to do.â
All panic aside, Nishinoyaâs coolness is a matter of opinion.
Hitoka doesnât really have the chance to try another tactic. Hinata gives a shout of glee and takes off towards Nishinoya. Hitoka, having her fingers still tangled around the strap of Hinataâs messenger bag, is towed along.
Hinata either doesnât hear her or ignores her. Before she knows it sheâs skidding to a stop in front of Nishinoya in Hinataâs wake.
âShouyou!â Nishinoya says, ruffling Hinataâs hair. Hinata leans into it and beams, bringing to mind an image of an over-excited dog. This is not the first time Hitoka has had this mental image and sheâs sure it wonât be the last. âAnd Yachi-san, what a rare treat.â
âH-hi, Nishinoya-senpai.â
âNoya-senpai,â Hinata says, causing Nishinoya to puff out his chest in response. âYouâre cool, right?â
Nishinoya seems to stand straighter. âI am, if I do say so myself!â
Itâs like watching some kind of car accident. Hitoka can see her death coming but sheâs powerless to stop it, frozen with her fingers caught in the canvas of Hinataâs bag.
Hinata claps his hands together in front of his face and closes his eyes tightly, bowing his head. âPlease help us ask out our crushes!â
âAw, yeah,â a familiar voice says, causing Hitoka to screech in fear. Tanaka materializes from behind them. Hitoka clutches Hinataâs bag strap tighter and hopes that heâll protect her. âOur kouhai are growing so fast.â
Nishinoya makes a pleased sound, framing his chin with the âLâ of his finger and thumb. His pleased grin almost seems to glint in the sunlight itâs so wide. âThey really are, Ryuu, and they know who to turn to.â
Tanaka slides to Nishinoyaâs side and throws an arm around Nishinoyaâs shoulders. âWeâll help them, right Noya-san?â
Nishinoya fistpumps. âHell yeah!â
Hinata fistpumps back. âYeah!â
Hitoka is getting the feeling she should have run away a long time ago.
âSo,â Tanaka says, pointing at them. âWho are the lucky crushes?â
This is it. This is the end of her life.
âIâm going to ask out Kageyama,â Hinata says without a hint of embarrassment. He says it with the same excited, determined tone and expression that he uses when he says heâs going to play volleyball or show Kageyama up with some absurd feat of physical fitness.
In the same breath Hinata continues, âYacchan is going to ask out Shimizu-senpai.â
Hitoka closes her eyes and waits for death to be swift.
âI see, I see,â Tanaka says. He doesnât sound angry. Maybe he hasnât processed it yet.
âYou know what you two need,â Nishinoya says, excitable. âGuts!â
âOowah, so cool!â Hinata replies, shifting under Hitokaâs hand.
Hitoka cracks her eyes open and eyes the scene.
Hinata is currently mimicking Nishinoya, who dropped down into his rolling thunder pose. Theyâre grinning at each other like absolute goofballs and Tanaka is laughing a great booming laugh, stance wide and arms crossed loosely over his chest like heâs some kind of mob boss in a bad movie overseeing the success of his underlings. Neither of them had batted an eye at the reveal that Hitoka is planning out ask out Shimizu. The Shimizu they tend to refer to as theirs and throw an absolute fit over anyone outside of the volleyball club looking at for more than a split second.
Wait, is this because sheâs in the volleyball club?
Whatever the reason, they seem to have no problem with Hitoka asking Shimizu out. Maybe they think sheâs worthy or something.
Hitoka canât help but relax slightly and smile. Maybe this wonât be so bad after all.
âWe just need to walk right up to them and do it! Letâs go right now!â
On second thought, this is the worst idea ever.
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