⋆ ✯ ♛ ✯ ⋆

helloooo i'm eden...

[jellyfishsprinkles]

Visit Original Link

i don’t think my mixtape is gonna ever happen but here’s something even better i put together

its midnight goodbye

vocals by @hellowobbuffet

[oldersistercore]

why are dog lovers so hateful??? like you meet a cat lover and they’re like “oh i love dogs a lot too! i just prefer cats!” but dog lovers are always like “my ENTIRE FAMILY was MURDERED by a CAT, a cat STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN, TOOK MY JOB AND KEYED UP MY CAR"

[ash-ofpallet]

[hellowobbuffet]

having memory issues like

friend: remember that time when you said/did this thing?

me: not at all, but that totally sounds like me

[cleancrew]

what the fuck is this bullshit

[cleancrew]

HES STILL THERE

[cleancrew]

THAT ONES NOT EVEN RED 

[curepimmy-deactivated20221111]

This reminds me of the time I was having trouble drawing fists, like

No shit I mean like on a PERSON

[hellowobbuffet]

Me:

Parents:

Me:

Parents:

Me: *puts earbuds in*

Parents: iebdwibtifhd

Me: what

Parents: HDJEHDIFNE

Me: what

Me: *takes out earbuds*

Parents:

Parents:

Me: *puts earbuds back in*

Parents: jekdelwnfoehdir

Me: what

[burgrs1994-deactivated20151224]

what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear 

[ameriqan]

JESUS CHRIST

[75orchids]

hey fucking idiot furries

you know animals arent real right

[weloveshortvideos]

I literally pissed my pants

[kibbyanna]

Promise, its not scary or a screamer, its really funny

[itachismokesweed]

hey guys quick question whats it like to have friends

[slimetony]

imagine having ants everywhere in your house

it’s nothing like that

[itachismokesweed]

can someone who actually has friends answer this?

[buttscentedbreathmints]

I work at Starbucks and yesterday night these two big Italian men come in and order some coffees so I ask for the first guys name and he says in his thick Italian accent that it’s Mario. I’m thinking ok that’s a pretty common name for a middle aged Italian dude. But then his friend orders an when I ask his name he says its Luigi

and I can’t help it

I giggle a little to which Luigi says to his friend Mario “I told you she’d get it” and that’s the story of how I got memed on by two middle aged Italian men on Christmas eve

[citriccenobite-deactivated]

my brother got me a card

[basicallyalwaystired]

help me bowl o’ rice help me bowl o’ rice help me down those stairs

[hellowobbuffet]

12 year old me: Who are you

me: I'm you but gayer

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

[bolto-deactivated20211002]

[bacteriaseas]

This gets funnier every time I see it