Hey, now that I’ve officially decided to make a return to my socials I figured I should say my final piece on this so we can all hopefully move on from this awful experience and also because I’m sure some people will try to argue that I “started this” with my initial request asking to be left alone. Although I originally wanted to try and approach this once again without naming the person directly, I’m afraid I will have to due to the fact that they escalated it to the current point that we are. I don’t plan on repeating anything that was presented in the document, people are welcome to find everything there themselves and come to their own conclusions.
I never asked to be pulled into this. When I originally messaged Sno4wy I had done so because I was saddened to see that a member of the community that I only knew in passing was being harassed and knew that there were others who had received the same treatment. I never imagined that wanting to reach out to a fellow member of the community would result in me becoming one of his targets after cutting communication off with him due to someone reaching out to me and letting me know that the story he gave me was not entirely truthful because they were concerned about my safety; and to this day I will thank them for having reached out to warn me before things got worse.
However. Despite me making requests to be left out of a situation that I now knew to be at best exaggerated and at worse falsified, I received concerning screenshots of Sno4wy and associates like Harlot and others talking about me with the intent of dragging my name through the mud because i did not want to get involved, I had “chosen the side of his abusers” in his eyes and shifted from becoming someone “vulnerable and manipulated” to a person who he was now focusing his attention on to try and spread untrue claims about me, which resulted in attempted sabotages against me and my works which in turn unfairly dragged others into this mess solely because they associated with me.
I kept quiet about this for a very long time because I believed, and still believe that a lot of the individuals who were defending or sympathizing with Sno4wy just didn’t know the full story. I naively believed all the way up until my recent request to be left alone that he would one day realize what he was doing was wrong and stop. I would have even been fine with him never apologizing or telling the truth so long as he simply stopped discussing me both publicly and privately in defamatory ways and went his own way. But after more and more people whom I had never spoken to as well as previous friends of Sno4wy reached out to me to warn me about concerning messages they received from him about me, I could no longer ignore what was happening and tried to address it, which is what led to me making my recent post requesting that he stop lying about me and dragging uninvolved parties into all of this.
Although I was disappointed to see that my request resulted in his friend immediately jumping to respond in a way that would make me look like I was “DARVO” Ing as they have often accused me of, I was unfortunately not surprised. The creators of the document had my full permission to use my screenshots and chat logs with him and I logged off so I wouldn’t have to risk seeing more people on Snowy’s side of things attacking me for finally speaking out.
Since the release of the document, I was made aware that evidence against me was fabricated (which was thankfully quickly discovered and called out), that alt accounts were created trying to “debunk” the document and try to minimize what was happening or discredit it by saying it was full of “nonsense ramblings” despite the fact it was primarily made of of screenshots from Sno4wy. These blogs have preemptively blocked me with what I believe to be the specific intent to make sure I am unable to directly respond to it properly. I became aware that a private medical diagnosis I had shared with him was outed and I do not know how many people now have this information. They have now started to argue that for some reason, 471 whole pages of evidence has been faked. But I know this claim will also be debunked and I am confident that people will see what’s going on.
My participation as a moderator in the Memories of My Time Zine on Tumblr was weaponized and I now understand that there was a one sided competition between us and the other MTaS zine, an imaginary feud that was likely created by him. I never worked on it with the intention to create some sort of contest, and I fully believe that he has acted out on his own accord and that the owner of the other zine was not aware of what he was doing, which is why I please ask that you understand I absolutely do not believe that the owner of the zine should be punished for the actions of someone who was trusted with power who had gone rogue and sent out anonymous asks. The Jewel of the Eufala has my entire support as a fellow creative project and it would be unjust to pin any blame on anyone for Sno4wy’s actions but himself.
I am grateful to the people who have read the document and realized what was going on, and to all the people who sent me kind messages and their support. Some of you were friends, some were complete strangers, and some were people who were previously friends of Sno4wy but recognized the danger that I was in and chose to notify me despite the risks. This situation had made me so stressed out to the point I was nearly hospitalized because I could not eat and the fact that a person could make me feel so weak was scary and shameful.
For the longest time I had been afraid with interacting with people outside my immediate circle, and the fear that Snowy may one day try to doxx me the same way he doxxed others is what resulted in me leaving servers I once loved and felt safe in. I had closed down commissions due to being afraid of how PayPal hands out your name with it. I was afraid of talking to new people constantly because I had to wonder if snowy had already gone out of his way to spread lies about me to them, but still chose to never discuss him despite his claims of me reaching out to artists with the intent of trying to rally against him. All I wanted was a community where I could feel safe and befriend people and for a very long time I allowed snowy to take that away from me. But not anymore.
Sno4wy, I am now asking you directly one last time. Please stop. Please leave me alone. Please stop doubling down. I hope you don’t take what I am about to say with offense, as this is something I mean with only the best intention. Please get help. I still believe that with the right help you can heal and become better, just as I have suggested to you privately. Do it not just for those around you, but also for yourself. What you have done has hurt people much more than you may realize. If you truly had the evidence you claimed you had against my friends and I, you would not be hiding behind new alt accounts the way you are now and would have shown your evidence now instead of promising it again and again and again and then never providing or becoming offended when it is requested.
I want this to be the final time I ever have to address this. All I asked was to be left alone, that was all I ever asked. This has been one long nightmare that I just want to end but one that I will not allow to taint my love for this game series or community. It is because of everyone who reached out to me to keep me safe that I want to remain and why I believe that the good outweighs everything. I refuse to let this experience ruin my excitement for future projects and my passion to create and express my love for a game series that I love.
I once again want to express that as a Queer POC I will ALWAYS advocate for spaces where queer, POC, neurodiverse and other marginalized people can safely exist and express their love. I ask that this whole event does not turn people away from the fandom and that they know there are those of us who will support them all the way through.
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