WELCOME TO THE SHITSHOW

[evilnicegirl]

this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018

[boyslit]

Can you imagine? Immortal gods brought low by the very monsters they created? Is it not a wonderful thought?

[roycohn]

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.

[roycohn]

a helpful guide

[pervpuke]

i… want… my BOYTOY! *telekinesis throws everything across the room*

[hitmanagent47]

I hate my fucking sniper rifle its so stupid

[sigmaleph]

The biggest loss in our future will be human disempowerment and the fact our livelihoods will be dependent on government(?) largess.

the idea that a human who has a job and uses their paycheck to buy groceries at the supermarket is an empowered independent agent and a human who gets UBI and uses that money to buy groceries at the supermarket is tragically dependent fundamentally assumes that economies are things that just, like, happen, rather than a vast edifice of human cooperation that results in the existence of money, people willing to pay you it in exchange for labour that can be any number of levels removed from basic sustenance, people who grow food, people who transport the food between where it's grown and where you buy it, people who store it in adequate conditions, people who check it is safe to eat...

you are standing six hundred kilometres past the point where a human is independent and complaining that to take another step would be a tragic loss.

[haughtyraban]

sometimes u go to a ship’s ao3 page and the top 10 fics are like “what if these guys were 2 completely different guys but had the same actors’ faces and character names”

[lissa]

[whumplent]

i understand wanting to coddle your guy after the horrors or whatever but. there is something sooooo compelling about strangers and even friends flinching away from the Character in the aftermath. something’s not the same as it was, and maybe no one can put their finger on it—what draws their focus that never did before, the intensity of their attention, the way they set their jaw, now, and never quite fully relax their body. but it’s unsettling. even if you can’t name it, there’s the suspicion that something in them broke into a sharp edge, and people can sense the threat.

[crimsonservbot]

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

[stoopkidlisteningtocsh]

Was feeling Emotions than was quickly hit by very different ones upon opening the comments

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[makingtrouble]

This is getting notes so let me just say

Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝

[grapefruiters]

hey um. idk how to say this but. i played ur boyfriend’s motif with a little too many minor chords and now he’s becoming evil. sorry

[rosieandthemoon]

I am cordially inviting all of you to post this in the comments/reblogs of any and every Al post you come across, on any platform. Especially useful for accounts who “teach” people how to use Al.

[sunshinemoonrx]

HUH?

Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???

[sunshinemoonrx]

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

[sunshinemoonrx]

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

[noticesghosts]

What the hell

[noticesghosts]

What is going on

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[pangur-and-grim]

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

[postnuclearophelia]

he got raptured

[queen-elizabeth-the-3st]

[funny-tik-toks]

[jupiterjames]

Did I just employ the "Treat Them Like You are A Kindergarten Teacher Again" method with my insurance company today? I surely did. Did it work? Probably better than intended because I made an actual doctor feel contrite.

So, my insurance has been trying to not cover my SNRI because it is new on the market and no generic available yet, so pricey.

I apply for a refill and the request gets locked for review. Again. For the 3rd time.

This time I call and immediately ask to speak to the actual doctor making these clinical decisions. Very politely. Must be a slow day because they allow it.

ME: [Teacher voice] I'm calling in regards to the SNRI you have placed a lock on. Why was this decision made?

DOC: Well, there are dozens of other medications on the market in that tier, and far cheaper for you and [insurer]. We have sent a request to your doctor to consider alternatives.

ME: I am aware of that. So, can you do me a HUGE favor and look up my prescription history really quickly and tell me how many SSRIs and SNRIs were only filled once in 2022 for me, showing they were poorly tolerated?

DOC: It looks like eight.

ME: Great job! Now, can you please look at my genetic test for psychiatric drug tolerance and tell me how many medications are listed in the safe category?

DOC: Two.

ME: Awesome! Now, can you tell me what type that other drug is that I'm not taking?

DOC: Yeah, totally, it's an MAOI.

ME: That's correct, you're really knowledgeable! Should I be taking something as dangerous as an MAOI with my other medications, or even just in general?

DOC: It's contraindicated for sure.

ME: It is! So true! So, last question since you've been incredibly smart and helpful. Is it less expensive for [insurer] to pay out for the medication knowing they already get a huge manufacturer discount anyway, or is it more expensive for them to pay for me to need potentially long-term inpatient psychiatric care?

DOC: I'll clear the code, ma'am and flag it as medically necessary. I'm sorry about this.

ME: I appreciate you SO MUCH. You have a great day now.

WALGREENS PHARMACY TECH WITH 5 NOSE RINGS AND PURPLE HAIR STARING AT ME: ........... OKAY! It'll be ready in five minutes. You wanna come work here?

[headspace-hotel]

Kill them with kindness

BUT KILL THEM