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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Love Begins
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@hellsdevils
Here is the art I contributed to the Illumicrate Starfall edition box for ACOFAS !! This one took me more than 50 hours to do but I think I like how it turned out :)) Hopefully Sarah will give me permission to make prints of other ACOTAR art!
Lately, I’ve been a bit more active on Twitter and Instagram | @kat_adara
** Please, no reposting within Tumblr or reposting onto other sites, and please do not use for an edit **
I just heard this woman say “you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It’s a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying.” and I think I just realized what was wrong with me.
Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating. It’s also why procrastination, even though it’s often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues.
This idea - You’re not lazy, you’re protecting yourself - hit me really hard while reading, of all things, Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which turns out to be as much about how brains work and how relationships work as how orgasms work.
In an early part of the book she talks about Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats–the example she uses is being attacked by a lion. You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion; you run away, if you think you can escape the lion; and when you think there’s nothing you can do, when you feel the lion’s jaws closing on your neck, you freeze, because dying will hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb and wait for it to be over, because that is the last way to protect any scrap of yourself.
Later in the book, she talks about the brain process that motivates you to pursue incentives, describing it as a little monitor that gauges your progress toward a goal versus the effort you’re expending. If it feels like too little progress is being made you get frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you… despair. You stop trying.
You go numb and wait for it to be over, because that’s the only way left to protect yourself.
So it occurred to me that these are basically the same thing–when facing a difficult task, where failure feels like a Threat, you can get frustrated and fight it out–INCREASE DOING THE THING until you get where you’re going. Or you can flee–try to solve the problem some other way than straight on, changing your goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight or flight.
But both of those only apply when you think the problem is solvable, right? If the problem isn’t solvable, then you freeze. You despair.
And if you’re one of those Smart Kids (Smart Girls, especially) who was praised for being smart so that all tasks in the world came to be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then… it’s pretty easy to see how you lose the frustration/anger stage of working toward a goal, because your brain goes straight to freeze/despair every time. Things are easy and routine or they are straight up impossible.
So, you know, any time you manage to pull yourself up and give that lion a smack on the nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of just falling down like a fainting goat as soon as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself a gold star from me. Because this is some deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if logically you know that that term paper is not a lion, it really is like that sometimes.
Yes! We actually had a perfectionism group in treatment and one of the things they taught us was how perfectionism can actually lead to avoiding stuff & doing less. It’s definitely important to understand this. One long term strategy I’ve heard is to promise yourself you’ll only work for a smallish period of time (at a date before it’s last min of course). Do you work for that time, and then you congratulate yourself for what you accomplished even if it’s not as much as you wanted, and then no matter what you actually stop. Your brain realizes that doing work can actually be a manageable experience & it starts breaking the association between doing work and stress/sadness/guilt etc. *Lowering* your standards & working before it gets super bad can help with this
And friendship… it can be a very powerful thing.
Faerie Cove
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i just fUCKING realized that les Mis ends on a damn call to action…..FUCK……like i have listened to this shit since BIRTH and I’ve Heard It but I’ve never internalized it!!!!!!
“Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me? Somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?”
LIKE FUCK ME UP
THEY SING IT AT US
They’re like “LISTEN DO YOU FEEL CRUSHED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF OPPRESSION?? DO YOU WANT A BETTER WORLD?? WELL THIS ENTIRE STORY WAS FOR YOU.”
“It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes.”
They is ME
They is YOU
They is US
F u c k
what’s the quote at the beginning of the brick???
“….so long as ignorance and poverty exist on earth, books of the nature of Les Misérables cannot fail to be of use.”
This shit is always relevant. And those lines in the musical are meant to hit you hard and to give you a VOICE
Use it
Use it
Use it
White council
It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.
Aerial Forest by Andrew Studer
It’s important to raise your voice in things you feel passionate about and things that you know about. Don’t raise your voice just to raise your voice if you have nothing behind it and don’t know what you’re talking about.
Emma Watson for Vogue Australia, 2018 (by Peter Lindbergh)
This needs to happen. Dylan obviously agrees.
“She smiled and all I could think was ‘Oh shit’.”
— (via shutup-and-make-me-laugh)
- six of crows, leigh bardugo
x
top 50 ships (as voted by my followers): #29. Clarke Griffin & Commander Lexa
“I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people.”
@hogwartsschoolnet May Event: Antagonists → Bellatrix Lestrange
“I was and am the Dark Lord’s most loyal servant. I learned the Dark Arts from him, and I know spells of such power that you, pathetic little boy, can never hope to compete!“
