The Real Main Character

Main blog: @rat-with-coffee / The header is from the Getty / The icon is from A Ghost Story but don't talk to me about it |:( / Matthias from SOC 

[helvarofficial]

Prices to Haunt the Crows

Most of the crows: Idk it would take a lot of convincing

Nina: I would never haunt her @zenikofficial is a queen

Kaz: I will haunt @brekkerofficial FOR FREE, no questions asked

[helvarofficial]

hows afterlife

Kind of cold, but I’m from Fjerda, I can handle it

[phy-be]

Jesper | Kaz | Inej | Wylan | Nina 

[nocontextgrishaverse-deactivate]

[udovaintomyheart]

it's snowing. hi welcome to Fjerda.

[helvarofficial]

enjoy your stay

[helvarofficial]

i cant get over the blog its so funny lmao sksks

Naturally I am the most entertaining crow

(but thank you!!!)

[nothewraith]

would matthias be a himbo if he respected women

[matthias-helvar-official]

What is a "Himbo"?

[nothewraith]

would matthias be a himbo if he respected women

[helvarofficial]

Yes

[helvarofficial]

Happy Halloween - I'm being a living human

[kuweiofficial]

girl help i'm in a tomb

[helvarofficial]

Mood :(

[helvarofficial]

I’m brooding

Haters will call it sulking

[wylanofficial]

GUYS HELP THERE ARE MEN HERE FROM A GANG IN THE BARREL I THINK THEYRE TRYING TO KIDNAP ME HELPFGJNFSAIMMKIDSAS

@brekkerofficial @zenikofficial @kuweiofficial @jesperofficial @helvarofficial @matthias-helvar-official @starkovofficial @colmfaheyofficial @adrikofficial @inejofficial

[starkovofficial]

Oh goddamnit

I'll get Zoya. She can help because uh, no more sun magic

[nazyalenskyofficial]

Alina you do realize that i am literally in a different country right????

how to do expect to get from ravka to kerch so fast?

[wylanofficial]

PLEASE BE QUICK

[starkovofficial]

AREN'T YOU A DRAGON ZOYA?!

[nazyalenskyofficial]

YEAH BUT I’M ALSO BUSY

[starkovofficial]

Well it seems Brekker is taking care of the situation

[wylanofficial]

ALL @brekkerofficial HAS DONE SO FAR IS FORGET I’M DYSLEXIC I REALLY NEED BACKUP

[starkovofficial]

@officialantsov may I borrow one of your flying ships?

[kuweiofficial]

the fuck is happening

[brekkerofficial]

Apparently wylan has been kidnapped

[kuweiofficial]

lmao 💀

[brekkerofficial]

Lol a bunch of dudes with a giant screaming sack that I’m pretty sure contains wylan in it just walked past me

Wylan has anyone told you you’re screaming sounds like a hyperventilating cat

[wylanofficial]

I’M NOT SCREAMING I’M TOO BUSY USING THE SPEECH TO TEXT FEATURE THAT MUST BE A DECOY

[brekkerofficial]

“I’M NOT SCREAMING I’M TOO BUSY USING THE SPEECH TO TEXT FEATURE THAT MUST BE A DECOY” screamed  potato sack wylan sounding like a hyperventilating cat  

[wylanofficial]

THIS IS NOT HELPING KAZ @inejofficial @jesperofficial @zenikofficial DO SOMETHING

[inejofficial-deactivated]

I leave for 5 minutes!!! Ok, where about are you? I'm on my way.

@brekkerofficial meet me by my boat.

[brekkerofficial]

Yeah ok I’m on my way

[wylanofficial]

SSIIJGGFUIKAA

[brekkerofficial]

Honestly wylan , your photography sucks

Also wtf would you want to ruin your camera by taking it underwater

[wylanofficial]

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED A PHONE CAMERA FUJGSASTH *continues to choke because of lack of oxygen*

[brekkerofficial]

I have, and phones will stop working if you submerge then in water too long

[wylanofficial]

I HAVE THE LATEST APPLE IPHONE BC I’M RICH IT WORKS BETTER UNDERWATER??? AND WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WHILE I DIE???

[brekkerofficial]

Lmao Apple phones suck. They’re only meant to last until apple releases a new one.

Also the only reason that i kept you from being killed until now was to blow stuff up. But now Kuwei can  that for me

so do the math

[wylanofficial]

GUYS??? @helvarofficial @inejofficial @jesperofficial @zenikofficial I THINK KAZ IS TRYING TO KILL ME??? HELPPP

[helvarofficial]

I can’t do anything but I’ll be with you in spirit. Maybe you’ll end up joining the ghost gang

[bespeckledbauble]

the Best Day of the year has arrived

[smolanxiouscatvoid]

:D

[helvarofficial]

Shoot

[wylanofficial]

GUYS HELP THERE ARE MEN HERE FROM A GANG IN THE BARREL I THINK THEYRE TRYING TO KIDNAP ME HELPFGJNFSAIMMKIDSAS

@brekkerofficial @zenikofficial @kuweiofficial @jesperofficial @helvarofficial @matthias-helvar-official @starkovofficial @colmfaheyofficial @adrikofficial @inejofficial

[starkovofficial]

Oh goddamnit

I'll get Zoya. She can help because uh, no more sun magic

[nazyalenskyofficial]

Alina you do realize that i am literally in a different country right????

how to do expect to get from ravka to kerch so fast?

[wylanofficial]

PLEASE BE QUICK

[starkovofficial]

AREN'T YOU A DRAGON ZOYA?!

[nazyalenskyofficial]

YEAH BUT I’M ALSO BUSY

[starkovofficial]

Well it seems Brekker is taking care of the situation

[wylanofficial]

ALL @brekkerofficial HAS DONE SO FAR IS FORGET I’M DYSLEXIC I REALLY NEED BACKUP

[starkovofficial]

@officialantsov may I borrow one of your flying ships?

[kuweiofficial]

the fuck is happening

[brekkerofficial]

Apparently wylan has been kidnapped

[kuweiofficial]

lmao 💀

[brekkerofficial]

Lol a bunch of dudes with a giant screaming sack that I’m pretty sure contains wylan in it just walked past me

Wylan has anyone told you you’re screaming sounds like a hyperventilating cat

[wylanofficial]

I’M NOT SCREAMING I’M TOO BUSY USING THE SPEECH TO TEXT FEATURE THAT MUST BE A DECOY

[brekkerofficial]

“I’M NOT SCREAMING I’M TOO BUSY USING THE SPEECH TO TEXT FEATURE THAT MUST BE A DECOY” screamed  potato sack wylan sounding like a hyperventilating cat  

[wylanofficial]

THIS IS NOT HELPING KAZ @inejofficial @jesperofficial @zenikofficial DO SOMETHING

[zenikofficial]

Can't you just

You know

Blow them up?

[wylanofficial]

I DON’T HAVE A MATCH AND ANYWAYS THAT WOULD BLOW UP ME TOO??

[zenikofficial]

Well ask @kuweiofficial to make fire or something

Unless you're willing to die

And I'm pretty sure you can run fast Wylan

[brekkerofficial]

Oh lol, they're taking potato sack Wylan to the pier.

Wylan , I hope you know how to swim

[wylanofficial]

SHIT??? I THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD BE SYMPATHETIC TO SOMEONE BEING DROWNED

GUYS I THINK THEYRE GOING TO THROW ME IN I NEED HELP @jesperofficial ANYONE PLEASE SYJNNGDSSUJMN *water noises*

[jesperofficial]

WHAT 😳 THE FUCK IS HAPPENING ok omw

[helvarofficial]

Floating over there now

[sans-removyr]

@tamarofficial @nadiazhabin-official @nazyalenskyofficial @officialantsov @starkovofficial @darklingofficial

Vibe check time 

[starkovofficial]

Accurate

[helvarofficial]

Oo where would I be

[officiallygenya]

your a sad bitch honey well technically a dead one

[helvarofficial]

My new aesthetic

[thekiingofscars]

date a boy who can’t sit still. date a boy who’s a mechanical genius. date a boy who respects your autonomy. date a boy who will always support you. date a boy with an asshole older brother. date a boy who fed a rival captain’s fingers to his dog. date a boy who is the Ravkan king. date nikolai lantsov.

[officiallygenya]

@nazyalenskyofficial you write this?

[starkovofficial]

No because she’s with me, Genya

[nazyalenskyofficial]

No I did not write that. And I’m not interested in Nikolai.

I have standards Genya

[officiallygenya]

@officialantsov your crush doesn’t like you back bro

[officialantsov]

i know 😭

[helvarofficial]

I’m pretty sure @officialantsov wrote this himself tbh

[sans-removyr]

@tamarofficial @nadiazhabin-official @nazyalenskyofficial @officialantsov @starkovofficial @darklingofficial

Vibe check time 

[starkovofficial]

Accurate

[helvarofficial]

Oo where would I be