Death's Monocle's Blog.

I make bad purchasing decisions 27 Bi/disaster

[avadaniels]

Aabria told me to get the brown M&M. I'm so sorry. For once in my life, I could not help you.

Dimension 20: On A Bus Season 2

[corrya]

I think about this like once a day

[onegiantmeep]

hey man, chill

[sunwornink]

me born in 2002 watching this

[byjove]

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

[dragonessmiralis]

The Addams

[byjove]

Do Grandmama, Uncle Fester and the rotating cast of possibly existent cousins mean nothing to you? 😔

[dragonessmiralis]

I may in fact be stupid

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[storybookprincess]

so today a group of 8-9 year old kiddos approaches my desk and goes “hey. we want to go to the downstairs part of the library.”

i’m like “you can totally go downstairs, but just so you know, right now the only thing down there is the genealogy department. that’s like the history of this area and the people who lived here a long time ago.”

i’m expecting them to lose interest, but to my surprise, they go “we want to see the genealogy department!!!!!!”

so i’m like “alright let’s do it!!!!” and lead this group of maybe six elementary school kids across the library make way for ducklings style and downstairs to our extremely not kid friendly genealogy room. our genealogy librarian is super cool, though, and he pulls out a few interesting things for them to look at & they ask a lot of questions and try to find where they live on maps from the 1800s

after about fifteen minutes, their curiosity has been sated, so we go back upstairs and over to the children’s department in that same duckling parade style

truly wish i could render this little scene artistically for you all it was a delight

[sndwave]

the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??

[kimmycup]

Like I don't think you guys comprehend what happened in Poland just now but everyone needs to be talking about it.

A random influencer decided he'll listen to an anti cancer song on loop. People liked it enough times he ended up listening for 9 days.

He raised 90 million in these 9 days, and then 160 million more over the last 10 hours, for a total of 250 million.

Hundreds and thousands of people signed up to donate marrow.

Hundreds of celebrities shaved their heads in solidarity.

The Foundation receiving this money had to create a special commission to figure out how to distribute the money.

The national TV stations got highjacked to stream this for hours because it was better news than anything happening in the world.

Because we broke and DOUBLED the world record for this kind of thing.

They raised about as much as the biggest running charity event in Poland did in a whole year with three decades of tradition and a goddamn army of people.

And they did it on a goddamn amateur set up in a shabby room sitting on folding chairs.

[kimmycup]

Little update: people keep donating despite the stream being over. We're at 280 million in the fight against cancer.

Łatwogang refuses to collab with companies that only reached out to him now because of popularity or give interviews. He said any medals people wanna give them should go to the doctors and nurses and the cancer patients.

Someone offered to renovate that shabby little flat for him as a thank you. He refused.

Someone counted up how many people appeared in that room during the whole thing - it was 319 total.

[belladonna-rx]

Love to hear it. Love news articles too.

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/polish-nine-day-charity-stream-breaks-records-support-kids-with-cancer-2026-04-27/

Just love this headline phrasing.

Streamer crushes MrBeast charity record with $70 million raised for kids with cancer - Dexerto

Polish streamer Łatwogang’s charity livestream has raised over 203 million złoty for children with cancer, breaking the charity stream recor

[cricketcat9]

Good news from Poland

[dragon-in-a-fez]

loading screen hints will just casually flip between the obscure facts that no one possibly could ever have figured out and the most inane bullshit imaginable. "did you know you can upgrade your wombus at the fizzwhacker store in Gropnurk Fel?" followed immediately by "try not to get set on fire!"

[drizzly-bear]

even more phm + textposts with stratt (and grace)

[teamhawkeye]

We put glow collars on the dogs when we walk them at night, and it is Extremely™️ effective on Boswell

[lilyblisslys]

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

[mollyjames]

[luntfontanne]

damn he really is an all-time poster

[polari]

mind you before sinners we didn’t have definitive proof that it was possible to successfully make a movie in 2025

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[weaselle]

seraphim

[afieldinengland]

normal country latest

[redsunrisinginthesky]

[theladymisandry]

You CANNOT hide these in the tags @injuries-in-dust

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[brightlotusmoon]