who, girl, your man? no, a mango

tethys • she/her • twenty-something • forklift certified • future linguist • sexy sword lesbian • perpetual onion bitch DNI: Altaic truthers, people who deny the genetic significance of the Pama-Nyungan languages, and people who deny the efficacy of the comparative method in Australian Aboriginal Languages header by Mark Witton how many people read these anyways? anyways, here are some assorted facts and opinions: my favorite metamorphic rock is gneiss • french horn is the best brass instrument • ophicleides are underrated • cheap synthetic diamonds would make amazing cookware • the alveolopalatals ȶ ȡ ɕ ʑ ȵ ȴ are sexy • violins and trumpets can sound nice but they need to chill • popcorn is best eaten with chopsticks • long s (ſ) is fun to use in handwriting • people should be nicer to violas • ʘ and ǂ are the only decept ipa click letters, the others are terrible • euphoniums should be called tenor tubas, and baritone horns should be called tenor cornets • technically cornet means small horn, but clarinet means small trumpet but we still keep the name for bass and contrabass clarinets

[tanadrin]

Feels like New England is old enough at this point to get its own name. Doesn’t need to depend on Old England for its identity. Maybe you could just spell it differently. Newinglan. Nuwingland. Nuinglân. Nyúanglann.

[girlnamedbug]

please be perverted about me in these trying times

[feldfrog]

Mafia guy who only goes down on women so he can steal the copper IUD wiring

[innerchildabortionclinic]

mind palace that was formerly a palace until the ruling family was killed mercilessly for its crimes. and now it's the thinking woman's socialist republic.

[charlesoberonn]

Female Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beard

Remaining time: 5 days 3 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Child Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 5 days 3 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 5 days 3 hours

[charlesoberonn]

They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

male dwarves

without beards

with beards

mustaches only

Remaining time: 12 hours 10 minutes

[thydungeongal]

Tex-Mex is short for Texico-Mexico

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[7777777awawawa7777777]

cis men are doing forcemasc self hypnosis every day

[7777777awawawa7777777]

cis men know that it’s possible to be amab and not a man and it’s their biggest fear

[isuggestforcefem]

I’m coming for them.

[missstrogen]

I still am

[talesfromtreatment]

"there is no personal space when it comes to vet med" idk if you mean with owners or pets but I FEEL THAT I work in hospitality not vet care but people will fucking walk within a foot of me to ask questions and I'm like bro. Please. Personal space???

Oh no, worse than that. Sometimes you need 2 or even 3 people to help restrain a really hyper dog for something short like a blood draw and there's not a lot of room around a dog for 3 human bodies to fit so your face will be right by someone's butt or your knee might be in someone else's crotch. Or with a small squirmy dog where doc needs to listen to the heart but you need to hold it against your body there's a good chance the stethoscope-holding hand is going to hit your chest.

[ainawgsd]

And sometimes you're holding a dog or cat for an exam and the owner is trying to comfort them by petting them and suddenly they're petting you too (they generally don't realize this)

[talesfromtreatment]

This happens SO OFTEN

[iheartvmt]

Or YOU'RE the one trying to pet the animal, and accidentally pet the CLIENT instead 😭

[talesfromtreatment]

Or when the owner doesn't hand you the small dog so you have to reach into their embrace for the dog and are basically guaranteed to accidently cop a feel.

"You can take him!" Or... you could put him on the table so I can get hold of him and not *you*????

[fuzzballsheltiepants]

a few more:

-client with tiny yorkie tucked IN HER BRA and his foot got stuck and she absolutely could not get him out and he was scratching her and she started crying so yeah...I unhooked the dog's hock from her bra

-my tech was holding a big somewhat aggressive rottie who was, unfortunately, only actually handleable if the client was holding her head. client proceeded to fart. in my tech's face. I felt so bad

-too many cats that velcro onto their human or the tech when you try to examine them so you have to either examine them with their tiny needle claws dug into the human's shoulder (inevitably copping a feel) or having to peel the poor kitty off the person while getting in REAL close and often pulling clothing in very awkward ways

then there's the unfortunate times you need to provide canine sex ed to clients who are not breeders, have no interest in breeding, and had no idea that their neutered dogs could still have sexual reactions. this means I've had to:

-inform one client that his dog was, in fact, sucking himself off (I said it nicer than that; the client's response was, "Oh. oh I'm rather proud of him actually.");

-another that yes, prostate stimulation will cause erections when I was doing a rectal exam and she was really confused about that and then had the revelation about how anal penetration works for men in real time in the exam room;

-and just today, that yes, neutered male dogs will still hump other dogs and can in fact get erections and sometimes you need to lube those penises up and stuff them back in if they won't fix themselves or your dog needs to come in for urgent care. she sighed, looked at her husband, and said, "well, I guess we need to go buy some KY."

vet med is, inevitably, a source of awkward amusement and it never gets old

[talesfromtreatment]

Vet at work just had an appointment where the owner had their 3 year old kid in the room too. Kiddo was very friendly but with no personal boundaries, frequently touching vet and tech while he was running around the room. Vet thought the kid was just leaning on her but when she looked behind her, he was basically pressing his face into her buttcrack through her pants. Vet left the room beet red and the tech in the room was laughing her ass off

[talesfromtreatment]

Today a client held my hand, which i was currently using to restrain the dogs head during the exam. Sir. Please let go. My hand does NOT feel like your dog.

[talesfromtreatment]

Today, while I was restraining a bitey little dog snugly against my chest the owner decided she wanted to hug him to comfort him. So she held him around his chest. Which was currently against my chest. So the back of her hand was squished between her dog and my boobs.

Later, she thanked me for being so gentle with her bitey dog and did so while placing her hand on the small of my back. And she kept it there. For an entire minute. While I was still restraining her dog.

[talesfromtreatment]

Today while I was restraining a scared small dog the owner tried to reassure her dog by scratching the dog's chest. Which i was holding against my body. So I got some extremely awkward belly scritchies.

[talesfromtreatment]

Today while restraining a small-ish dog who kept trying to back up out of my grip, the owner asked how she could help. I asked her to brace his rear end.

Which she did! She did do that, but with one hand and the other was more on his flank. Which was against my chest. And she was rubbing her fingers up and down his side to calm him so I got a very gentle, accidental tit massage.

But you know what, the dog stopped panicking so it was worth it.

[talesfromtreatment]

An owner was holding up the front half of their very friendly, hyper labrador so I could look at a lump on the chest to play "nipple-tick-mass" . I had my hands near the front legs to part the hair and she death-gripped onto my arm.

"Ma'am? That's my arm. That's my arm? You have my arm? Can you let go that's my arm?"

Hey husband had to tell her that she had me and not the dog and she was so embarrassed but good natured about it.

But I'm also like... I naturally have very very little arm hair? My arm does not feel like the leg of a labrador? Why did she not go "hmmn, this textile doesn't seem like a dog texture"???

[mattibee]

You know that cute way bugs wave their front legs looking for the next leaf to walk on I'm doing that to cute transgenders on this website

[mattibee]

bug 2 bug communication......... :3

[lilyblisslys]

giantess girl who can’t

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for using my coping strategy even though it inconveniences my Roomates?

I (22 M) and my 4 roomates (21-24 F) all share an apartment with 1 kitchen, 5 rooms and 2 bathrooms. We tend to get along but we argue over the bathrooms more than we’d like

They tend to take a long time to get ready in the mornings, and I tend to take a long time at night because of my coping mechanism.

Basically once or twice a week, I take a few edibles, turn off all the lights, and shower while on the floor in complete darkness, rolling around in soap. I call this my Olm time after the blind cave salamander. I basically roll around in all the soap and just pretend I’m a little cave dwelling salamander while high as shit, and then rinse off and crawl out of the shower and head to my room.

It’s like meditation. I go to a completely different state mentally. This is the only thing that has significantly helped me with stress, while allowing me to incorporate all of my self care duties into my routine. Becoming one with the Olm is my only option.

My roomates don’t know about Olm time but they have realized I take a while in the shower some nights, and they have tried to argue by saying that everyone needs to get ready for bed too. I’ve told them that they take a really long time in the mornings, and I often have to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink because the bathrooms are basically locked from around 6:30-8:45 every day because of how long they take.

Basically they’re all pretty frustrated with me and I’m pretty frustrated with them. That self care time is pretty much what keeps me going through really hard days, and they don’t seem to get that, even when they tell me how important their getting ready time is for them in the mornings. I don’t know if I’m being an asshole or if I’m genuinely standing up for myself here. AITA?

AITA?

YTA

NTA

JAH

NAH

ESH

INFO

Voting ended onSep 17, 2023

What are these acronyms?

[tardigradebutt]

finding out this post only has just over 8k notes has been a devastating blow to my ego. i reference this constantly and nobody ever knows what im talking about. i go “oh, you know, the olm time post. where someone sits in their bathtub off a few edibles and pretends they’re an olm, the blind cave salamander.” as if every single person on the internet has also read this post. this is a classic to me. a heritage post, even. my entire worldview has been shattered.

[jeidai]

More info on olm time

"Minor update: they now know about Olm Time"

[intactics]

the most occidentalist cnovel I ever binged via MTL was about a chinese guy reincarnating into europe right before the black plague & teaching the savage europeans how to cook food and do agriculture and industry properly and inventing an innoculation for the plague and he wound up gay marrying the sexy young pope & collecting a really unreasonable number of magical animal companions along the way, including a tiger. the tiger's introduction led to my favorite author's note in the following chapter, which was basically "I've been informed Europe doesn't have tigers but I don't really give a fuck" ... that was kind of charming.

[endreal]

Reblog to get fucking bopped by prev

[the-unmotivaterrrrrrrrrrr]

I am citrus, peel back my skin

open me and expose the soft wet inside

so I decided to try animation,, :3

(song is peel my orange every morning by ezra furman (because of course it is))

[transoccuine]

"Listen to me babble / How long will we babble on in exile? / Babble on in exile / And something tells me I may be singing this song a long, long while / But I'll be bringing along a big broad smile / To wear as I walk that final long line back to the city where they broke my heart wide open bleeding on the marble tile"

Yeah just grip me with a level of force beyond comprehension why don't you Ms. Ezra Furman.

[patienz]

guy who's an atheist except for noah's ark