happy pride month have some headcanons no one asked for
ignoring canon irken biology for the sake of these headcanons, yay!
zim - nonbinary (he/him) hypersexual asexual demiromantic. if you don't know how that can work, you aren't ready for this headcanon list, hence why i put him at the top. he doesn't like wearing human clothing other than his disguises but he'd prefer skirts and dresses if he wore clothing regularly.
dib membrane - exophile. he goes through a really upsetting sexuality crisis where he thinks he's a freak for not being attracted to anyone and then he has the realization that he's only attracted to non-humans. this, somehow, comforts him because he knows they're real, ergo he's not a freak. (gaz wheezes a bit when he explains this logic) sometimes i make him a trans guy. gender nonconforming whether he's cis or not tho. specifically in a genderpunk way. he's the type that realizes people hates him so he doubles down on doing whatever he wants, presentation wise.
gaz membrane - asexual demiromantic trans woman. she's not sex repulsed, but she's really not super into it either so if she's dating anyone she'd prefer it if they had no interest in it.
professor membrane - im gonna be real here i don't know which label would describe him perfectly and i don't think anyone should know what label will describe him, because that implies there's multiple people like him out there. gender-wise hes understandable --- he identifies as cis but if you examine him closer you'll notice a lot of agender attitudes. like, the type of person who will go "well idc any way or another" but then never examine that thought ever because that's how much he doesn't care. the REAL problem is his sexuality. do you understand? he's the type where if he's thinking about sexuality, he's doing it for science reasons or to satisfy his own morbid curiosity. "im not sexually attracted to minimoose, but for the sake of science i COULD theoretically have sex with minimoose" is his stance on everything ever. therefore, NO ONE wants him to come out as a community member because everyone knows this guy is gonna get majorly cancelled somehow.
almighty tallest purple - cis dude but like, gender nonconforming as fuck. he's the type that will go full drag persona and be completely comfortable in walking into a bathroom and using a urinal. he's a demiromantic demisexual, but also very much the most sexual person on this list. like, he's got all the kinks and has tried everything out. he just only enjoys doing them to people he likes.
almighty tallest red - cis dude but in a casual gender nonconforming way. he would not go full drag persona (not out of shame, just he thinks its too flashy), but he WOULD transfer his irken skirt to a human disguise because he's more comfy in skirts. hes bi but also kinda tsundere. if he's into u he's denying it unless there's a power trip in it for him. his type is unfortunately "cute" types and he hates it. puppy eyes are his biggest weakness.
tak - i think tak would've been a lesbian but zim's interference made her just put sexuality to the side and not consider ANYTHING for herself. she's too BUSY now.
honorary JTHM shenanigans
johnny - he does not understand the intricacies of the lgbtqia communities. technically speaking, he's not cis. he is aware of this. he's not stupid. he just also doesn't have the the mental energy to think about it because he has so much dysphoria and mental health issues going on that he doesn't want to think about it. ergo, if he was mentally well he might be able to call himself agender (he/him) + gothsexual. but he's not so he's just nny, who sometimes bleeds if his body is functioning well enough that month.
squee - this kid is absolutely queer. whether that translates to a trans girl squee or just a gay squee depends on my mood. either way, you know how a large amount of people treat dolly parton as some sort of patron trait? this is squee but with nny, because his interactions with nny convinces him to become more independent and leave home. and its just as confusing as it sounds. no one thinks this is a good role model when the situation is explained to them. they're stressed out about it, really. trans girl squee legally changes her name to squee, btw.
pepito - genderfluid and pansexual. i took the line (paraphrasing) "be honest, you also wish to express yourself the way i do" and went apeshit
Señor Diablo - probably a cis straight dude. also, its not even because he's the devil that im giving him this. i just think it's factually funnier if he's okay with turning into a creepy cheerleader, but still cis. and i think Señor Diablo would agree with me on this. he's also the biggest ally ever but no one realizes that because he's equal opportunist when it comes to doing his job.
Señor Diablo's wife - i think to contrast with her husband, it'd be really fucking funny if she's like the most openly queer christian ever. goes to pride regularly and all that jazz. everyone loves her.
