Henry Violet Wood @henryvioletwood - Tumblr Blog

henryvioletwood

I have lived an astoundingly miserable and worthless life

henryvioletwood

I thought a great deal of myself at the start and all that turned out to be completely unwarranted

#life

I have lived an astoundingly miserable and worthless life

#life

Love is the way life distributes pain

#love #pain

I thought I found love once but then never liked myself or my life again. not worth the price

#depression

Lately no matter how many times I stop the bad thoughts they just come flooding back

#depression

Lately I just want to lie on the ground and yell, “I give up! I give up! I give up! Please stop.” Like I did to my brother when he was hitting me

#depression #i give up #the world and life it’s too much

engulfes

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

existentialdruid

This

jelliebeanbitch

there are more tweets in this thread

fucking SLAY

darlington-v

this isnt even the full thread, there are even MORE tweets to this thread that i think are really necessary to read if you do what op is talking about! it is not enough to know that feeling this way hurts the people you love, we already know that.

this rest of the thread continues after the third tweet from the reblog.

like THE FULL THREAD is genuinely so reassuring.

sometimes, it is not enough to just know, sometimes you might need that reassurance of "do you really think of me when i'm away?" and someone reassuring you that yeah, they do. and evaluate that! trust that! just like op did.

and then learning that ykw, it's NOT any of my business really. and finding comfort in that trust that like. whether they are or aren't thinking of me, they really do love me.

this full thread changed my life and i am ALWAYS going to give the full thread because the parts people cut out aren't enough for the people experiencing these things, speaking as someone who does. it, really it just makes us, made me, feel bad about my own capabilities when i saw the unfinished thread.

henryvioletwood

Yeah maybe but in my case they really don’t like me

This is the thing I have learned. No one will rescue you. If you're just a normal person like me no one will listen to you when you say something's wrong. They'll be patronizing and say, You know I love you. But it's a way of saying, don't be yourself. Be the person I imagine I love. Don't be a bother. That's not how the person I imagine I love acts. I feel good about loving that person. Don't take that from me by acting this way. A song says, "The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud But no one heard a thing." That's my experience. You can scream and scream as loud as you want but no one hears. No one wants to hear. And the more depressed you get the more they doubt you. The more they say pacifying things and then ignore you. No one wants to help. They want you to stop hurting so you won't annoy them.

#depression #no one can hear you scream #no one will rescue you

For the first time in my miserable life I had the thought: You know, relief is as close as the cutlery drawer.

#tw sui ideation #tw suicide #depression

I’m supposed to list 5 things I’m grateful for. Hmmm

1. Death exists

2. ???

#depression

They know me so well in the void they have my order waiting when I get there

#depression

The stats are in. Life is in fact not worth living

My mind has bombed my heart into rubble

#depression