It's been years.
a heavy sigh to start this quick write up before i lay my head on my two flappy fav pillows hehe. it has always been heavy, never did i feel a complete relief and rest of mind and heart since i started my journey here. but look at me now, only 1 month left before i turn fourth year. it feels so unreal na matatapos na ang college life ko one year from now.
sobrang fast paced dito, i always tell God ayoko na dito. i am not meant for constant and undending competition which leads to negative emotions, i tend to compare myself, i can't deny the fact that i always think of how much of a failure i am.
it was hard to admit na no matter how hard i try to meet certain goals i set for myself each semester, i always end up not achieving it— that i cannot do it.
but nonetheless, i will always and forever grateful that i get to experience this kind of hardship and challenges. i am now ready to accept what it means to be an iskolar ng bayan.
yesterday, i was reminded of what God can is not limited to what i can experience on a temporal level. hindi pala ang makakuha ng flat uno na grades and maging laude ang basehan para masabing God is good. hindi pala ang araw-araw na walang problema sa budget sa pangkain, pamasahe, allowance, fieldtrip, o school projects.
now, everything makes sense. the questions i kept for years...
indeed Lord, your time is perfect and beautiful.
everything i've been through has now starting to make sense to me. it was never because of me. it was not my capabilities and skills that enabled me to get this nor my experiences and achievements, not even my own efforts. it all boils down to whom i am trusting my future with, it is based on who He is.
















