Call me Hera @heratic-rose - Tumblr Blog

Stygian blue afterimages if you focus just right.

Of all the colors that humans can experience, there are two unusual ones that I particularly like: stygian blue and true cyan. Neither is an RGB color, so neither can be properly displayed on a conventional monitor, phone, or television. Luckily, both can be experienced using such a device by looking at afterimages! Stygian blue is perceived as being simultaneously blue and as dark as pure black (unlike merely dark blues, which are still perceived as lighter than black) and true cyan is much more vivid than RGB cyan, which is what you’re used to seeing on screens.

To see stygian blue, stare at the yellow dot below for at least 15 seconds, then look at the black square below it.

To see true cyan, stare at the red dot below for at least 15 seconds, then look at the grey square below it. Below that is a square that’s merely RGB cyan, for comparison.

one-time-i-dreamt

merrybitchmas91-deactivated2019

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.

Therefore, I present to you:

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see.

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.)

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself. I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

lovelyplot

This would’ve been great an hour ago

h0lyhandgrenade

This is good advice for anxious peeps and peeps with anxious friends. Seems obvious now but I hadn’t thought about it this way before.

randomslasher

oh heck this is…really really useful advice.I wonder if it would also help when my brain does that ‘too fast can’t settle’ thing and flips from activity to activity at ludicrous speeds.I think I’ll try it next time. <3

plant-folk

The full rotation of the Moon as seen by NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter.

frogmp3

she is WHAT? sickening

lookskindadeadinside

I’m not even kidding I teared up a lil

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mom

starshein

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

leahberman

wildflower ridge; los angeles, california

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roboco-san

the distortion of "there is potential profit we did not earn" as "there is money we lost" is fascinating and disgusting to me. "megamediaconglomerate lost $1,000,000,000 to piracy this year" is a flat out lie. it is not true. they did not have a billion dollars, that they now do not have. they felt entitled to one billion dollars, that they did not have, and still do not have. it's an infuriating perversion of the truth

bananonbinary

cant believe i lost $1000 when i told some guy at walmart to give it to me and he said no

imaginedsoldier

I think love bombing is one of the most frightening and least recognized abuse and manipulation tactics that is commonly employed. It can go unrecognized because the victim will integrate that behavior into their understanding of the offending party, and even years down the line can be overlooked as an early sign of manipulative tendencies in an abusive person. When it is recognized, it engenders hypervigilance and difficulty accepting help and affection. Every gift is a Trojan horse and every invitation is suspect. Every helping hand has claws.

sentient-carrot

What's love bombing?

e-seal-deactivated20210319

From this article:

"Love bombing is the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction — think flattering comments, tokens of affection, or love notes on the mirror, kitchen table, or windshield, and you’re beginning to get the picture. It’s flowers delivered at work with hearts dotting the i’s in your name. It’s texts that increase in frequency as they increase in romantic fervor. It’s surprise appearances designed to manipulate you into spending more time with the bomber — and, not coincidentally, less time with others, or on your own."

imaginedsoldier

To add to this- Love bombing originated in association with cults in the 1980s. While it is a tactic that is obviously extremely suited to a romantic endeavor, it was initially wielded by organizations with the intent to quickly ingratiate themselves with prospective members.

Indeed the tools of flattery, eager interest, constant attention, and rapid placing of someone on a pedestal work devilishly effectively in the hands of cults, social clubs, and even toxic friend groups. We want to believe we are important and special, and the experience of bunch of people vying for your time and attention will quickly erode at your ability to maintain a level head and will make you pliant before you know it.

What is insidious about it in a romantic context is how quickly one becomes addicted to the flurry of love and affection. Any reduction of that prompts the victim to wonder how they can return to that halcyon stage of the relationship before they lost their grace. You are drawn in, separated from other sources of affection and affirmation, made dependent on one person for your self-esteem needs, then the supply is cut short.

You may notice that this mimics the cycle of abuse in its isolation, high-and-low cycling, and enforced helplessness of the victim. What especially sucks is how you won't even notice its happening because of the manufactured power differential. You just know the person who gave you your first real experience of love is suddenly cold and you just want to make them love you again.

stevienick

fangirlcore

in other words... i wish the mysoginistic society we live in wouldn't view a woman's sweetness and kindness as naiveté and weakness while simultaneously putting a man's coldness and crudeness up on a pedestal and considering it an 'undoubtful sign of strenght and superiority of the males' or whatever... so yeah, women (and thus female characters) are forced into believing that if they are kind, sweet and emotional they'll be pegged as inferior beings and that fucking sucks but oh well, yet another pyschological manipulation resulted of years of ruthless patriarchy we have to fight against every single day.

michaelormewood

Star Wars: The Clone Wars | Old Friends Not Forgotten // Victory and Death

lesbianshepard

the funniest hp lovecraft story is the one where some guy’s family offended an evil wizard who then cursed his entire family saying that all the men would die before they hit like 30. the protagonist is going crazy trying to find a spell to break the curse and then the big reveal was that the wizard was literally just breaking into their house and killing them himself.

firstborn-of-akatosh-deactivate

This is missing my favorite detail, namely that the evil wizard is named ‘Charles Le Sorcerer’.

normal-horoscopes

CHUCK WIZARDS CURSE OF SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE

whitepeopletwitter

writingdotcoffee

#151: My Favourite Writing Podcasts

Podcasts are a treasure. If you can think of a topic, somebody is probably making a podcast about it. Needless to say, there are many podcasts about writing.

I put on a podcast when I’m out for a jog, and when I’m doing the dishes. I’ve learned so much from podcasts over the years. I love listening to podcasts.

Podcasts are somewhere between a lecture and conversation with a friend. Over time, after you’ve listened to the same show for a while, you start to feel like you know the host, although you probably never met. It’s uncanny.

Audiobooks are great too. But podcasts are a little more casual. With an audiobook, I feel obliged to pay close attention so I don’t miss anything. I don’t feel the same pressure when listening to podcasts.

Today, I’d like to shout out five of my favourite writing podcasts. These are the tried and tested ones that I’ve been listening to for months and years (in no particular order).

The Career Author Podcast

I’ve listened to The Career Author since episode one. The show is hosted by J Thorn and Zach Bohannon and covers a wide range of topics related to running your author business – from production to marketing strategies and even things like accounting.

J and Zach co-write dystopian fiction and run events for authors.

The Creative Penn

The Creative Penn is a staple of the indie author podcasting scene hosted by Joanna Penn. The first episode aired all the way back in 2009, and although Joanna has considered quitting in the past, the show continues into the 2020s.

Stay up-to-date on publishing news and get advice from hundreds of guests including Steven Pressfield and Austin Kleon.

Writing Excuses

Writing Excuses is geared more towards traditionally published writers — mostly because the hosts of the show – Mary Robinette Kowal, Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Howard Tayler – come from that background.

The episodes are short and sweet, focused on craft and genre writing. The archives go back 15 full seasons – lots to learn.

The Writer’s Well

Originally known as The Petal to the Metal, The Writer’s Well is hosted by J Thorn and Rachael Herron. They ask each other a surprise, writing-related question and talk about their answers.

Expect a laid-back conversation and plenty of good advice.

Our Opinions Are Correct

OOAC is a genre-based podcast focusing primarily on science fiction stories in any form – books, films, TV shows. The hosts are Annalee Newitz and Charlie Jane Anders — both best-selling authors. Even though this podcast doesn’t specifically give writing advice, it’s great to hear some of the big names of the genre think about stories.

Expect in-depth discussions and lots of sci-fi book and movie recommendations.

BONUS: Akimbo by Seth Godin

Akimbo isn’t a writing podcast, but it’s so good that I can’t leave it out. Seth Godin is a famous marketer but also a best-selling author and prolific blogger. Because of that, many episodes are relevant to writing.

I’ve listened to all the episodes of Akimbo, and I think you should too!

And that’s it. Since launching Writing Analytics, I’ve been listening to a number of business podcasts also, but we’ll leave those for another time.

Thanks for reading ❤️.

Want More?

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Past Editions

#150: The Business of Making Art, July 2020

#149: All That Matters Is What You Leave on the Page, July 2020

#148: Keeping a Victory Log, June 2020

#147: Finishing things is a skill, June 2020

#146: Black Lives Matter, June 2020

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