save me

Olympus' Main Vocalist Hera. 90 Line.

[herayul]

Blue plus. Double pink lines. Pink plus. Double blue lines. No matter which one she looked at, they all read the same: pregnant. The fluttering feeling in her stomach returned, quickly shifting from hunched atop the toilet to kneeling before the porcelain king, letting her anxiety expel from her body through a mix of breakfast and acid. Her head rested upon her forearm, waiting for the next wave of nausea to hit, thoughts searching for the cause of her current state.  Her thoughts were empty, finding a moment’s respite from her fears, her reservations. The last bit may have been due to the amount of alcohol in her system, not enough to be incoherent, but enough to loosen her up. The blaring music pounded through her body, stirring up a desire she long denied herself.  Tonight would be her night, free of feelings, a night to just have a release without any messy strings attached. A night with a tall, handsome man to take her mind off of someone, at least for a few minutes. It was a simple few step plan: find a target, seduce him, have him take her to his place, get off and get out.  Everything went flawlessly, well, maybe not the getting off, that was quite the task for the young man whose name she wasn’t quite sure. Min something? It was...nice. Relaxing. So much so, she wasn’t entirely sure he ever wore a condom.  It hit her again, the retching a result of her conclusion, she was having some stranger’s child. 

[herayul]

self-knowledge questionnaire.

tagged by: @efflcresscence tagging: @svpremedux, @yiyena, @jxngayeon, @sonmie, @ayiams rules: this questionnaire does not aim to summarize the whole self, but to suggest a few themes which might be prominent in our characters, with the hope of helping us to live more wisely with the different parts of ourselves. Tenderness : You are not afraid of the sufferings and sorrows of other people, even when they are acted out in unappealing ways. Beneath even defensiveness and self-righteous behaviour, you know that deep down people need nurturing and consolation. One danger is being naive about people’s dark sides. But at your best you know you can be mean yourself, which helps you to sympathise. You bring strength and forgiveness where other people might panic. Independence : You don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. You are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. In sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. You know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’. Shyness : Part of you is gripped by the fear that you’ll launch into something and completely mess it up. The upside of this is wise caution: people are indeed often too rash, whereas you know, by instinct, that holding back can save you. Probably, you feel shame and self-disgust a bit too much. But when you do feel in your element, you act with a wisdom and sensitivity never found in people with thicker skins.

[herayul]

RULES: YOU CAN ONLY SAY GUILTY ORINNOCENT. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING UNLESS SOMEONE MESSAGES YOU OR ASKS YOU. REPOST DON’T REBLOG!! TAGGED BY :  @sonmie TAGGING : @efflcresscence, @svpremedux, @jxngayeon @ayiams @yiyena

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent. Kissed one of your friends? Innocent. Danced on a table in a bar/tavern? Innocent. Ever told a lie? Guilty. Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? Guilty. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty. Kissed a picture? Guilty. Slept in until 5pm? Guilty. Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. Held a snake?  Innocent. Been suspended from school? Innocent. Worked at a fast food chain/restaurant? Innocent. Stolen something? Guilty. Been fired from a job? Innocent. Done something you regret? Guilty. Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? Innocent. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent. Kissed in the rain? Guilty. Sat on a roof top? Guilty. Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. Sang in the shower? Guilty Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent. Shaved your head? Innocent. Slept naked? Guilty. Had a boxing membership? Innocent. Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Innocent. Been in a band? Guilty. Shot a gun? Innocent. Donated blood? Innocent. Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. Eaten cheesecake? Guilty. Still loved someone you shouldn’t? Guilty. Have/had a tattoo? Innocent. Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty. Been too honest? Guilty. Ruined a surprise? Guilty. Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk after? Innocent. Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent. Dressed in a man’s clothes? Guilty. Joined a pageant? Innocent. Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty. Still have communication w/ your ex? Innocent. Cheated on someone? Innocent. Got totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? Innocent. A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? Innocent. Got so angry that you cried? Innocent. Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? Guilty. Thoughts about suicide? Guilty. Thoughts about murder?  Innocent. How about Mass Murder? Innocent. Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? Guilty. Stalked someone? Innocent. Had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Guilty. Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? Innocent.

[herayul]

time will tell @svpremedux Quiet. Something so rare, so foreign, Jiyul didn’t know what to do with herself. She could do...anything. The few hours left that she had before anyone was due back had to be spent wisely, she was determined with this. Perhaps catching up on reading, or maybe one of her dramas, cleaning was always an option as well. However, the looming mountain of homework from her classes called to her.  She settled herself down with a nice, hot cup of tea, her phone and Homer. Popping the earbuds in and pressing play the play button on the cable, not at all expecting her leader’s voice so loud in her ears, wincing at the pain. With a quiet grumble, she skipped the song to something less distracting, without much luck, the song being played on repeat in a playlist of one song.  So, with some tea and Homer, Jiyul started working on her homework from a few weeks prior. With the peace and quiet, concentrating was much easier, productivity increasing, but understanding was diminishing. This assignment reminding her how little she knows about her major, despite living with a few demi-gods. If it were possible to rub off all layers of her skin, she’d have made it to the muscles in her temples.  “Stupid Greek gods and their stupid grudges and their stupid...stupid.” Insulting the parents of her band members probably wasn’t the best idea, but she could care less. It was the assignment that was stupid, not them. That’s what she told herself as she pulled her knees to her chest, looking over the tops to look for anything out of place. For safety. No one can predict what horrible thing the gods could do to her for insulting them. She had to play it safe and stay in one place. 

[efflcresscence-blog]

The nerves she felt pent up all disappeared with a sigh once she saw the older woman in front of her. Things like that happened all the time but being around her members made her feel safe. The world already was a dangerous place and she knew that but that didn’t stop her from wandering around at night. The smile on her face quickly faded her lips pressing into a thin line as soon as she heard the tone of the older woman.

“I think the protection from the apartment complex is enough. I mean it was made to protect people like me. Plus I chose to take the subway. I don’t think it’s me living far from here’s fault,” She said inhaling dramatically before she exhales out of her mouth her lips forming a pout. “Plus, shouldn’t you be happy I am making friends. Someone even told me I can visit for dinner. I don’t have many and making friends is hard. So be happy and don’t nag me for trying to keep some normalcy in life unnie.” She pulls down the black mask that covered her lips exposing the rest of her face. “Let me get a license and I won’t have to take public transportation.” 

Rebellion wasn’t in Eunha’s blood and neither was asserting herself. This wasn’t exactly asserting herself but more like stating a fact. She wasn’t bitter at her members for her ending up in a girl group. What was done was done but she couldn’t let it go. So when the company told her she would be living in the dorm she refused to move in. Stepping one foot into the building meant she was giving them what they wanted. She didn’t sign up to live in a dorm. As long as she was making money she wanted her independence and living with her members and having to share a room wasn’t what she want that. Having to watch yourself and what you say around everyone, the fights, and the not having proper personal space. Just the thought of having to live like that made her mind tired.

“I am used to being alone.” The demigod mumbles under her breath as she starts towards the company building. “I was supposed to be reviewing some scripts for upcoming projects. I hope they give me some good stuff. I don’t care what I get at this point. I have asked for acting projects but I keep being brushed off. It’s a bit frustrating,” She confesses looking over at the older woman. “Let’s get a drink or two. I haven’t had a drink in a long time. I feel like I am not myself.”

[herayul]

Worry can often be confused for anger, Jiyul had never been an angry person, just a worried person. Most times, her concern seemed to be confused for anger, unintentional, but still a result. The change in facial expression of the younger alerting her to the interpretation of her worries. She really has no one to blame but herself for being so overbearing, it was a trait she just couldn’t shake.  A sigh leaves her lips as she listens to the reasons listed out of her, though none of her worries are remedied. They’ll never be remedied as long as a chick isn’t in the nest. “I--I am happy for you, Eunha. I just...you know I’ll be worried no matter what. Perhaps, maybe, some days of the week you just stay with us? Or have dinner at the dorm? Be with us so we know you’re doing okay?” It was reasonable, that’s all she wanted, was to be reasonable and still be able to spend time with her friend. Unwilling to admit that it hurt when the younger moved out and away from her, leaving the nest. But, perhaps one day, she’ll see that Eunha can handle herself. Maybe then she’ll be able to relax, but until that time she’ll continue with her excessive worrying.  The invitation for drinks took her off guard, not quite expecting it. “Perhaps I can see about those projects, I might be able to convince the higher ups to let you branch out more.” The offer caused her mind to stir in ways it hadn’t in some time. She wasn’t opposed to drinking, but she knew how she was, and she knew she could trust the demi god with her secrets that would be revealed. With a decision made, she nods her head subtly, a warm smile gracing her lips. “Drinks sound nice, catch up a little from this long break we’ve had and get away from the other girls.” 

[seanchaidhthe-deactivated201904]

{ a starter for @herayul​! }

Fingers curl to lightly knock on the door to the practise room an employee had led her to. She doesn’t bother waiting to be called in, her attempt to surprise her younger sister being more important than actually doing what proper etiquette would teach. Her dog peeks its head around the door, followed by herself as she beams. “Boo~! Wait– is Hyeonjin even here…?”

[herayul]

Left, slide, back left, up right, spin, right step, down on her knee for the big finish. Jiyul could barely breathe, for some reason the choreography for their newest comeback kicked her butt. A startled screech leaving her lips at the sudden intrusion, this time she had been actually scared to the point of falling over, another yelp leaving her throat as she hit the floor. Her heart hammering in her ears as she looked at the intruder, not even registering the words leaving Ayeon’s mouth. “U-unnie, w-what are you doing here? H-Hyeonjin went home an hour ago...I--what’s wrong?”

[ofaphros-deactivated20170320]

( @herayul​ )

        Maybe she was a bit paranoid, since the old woman had did nothing to prompt the hostile gaze of the female. The subway was half way empty and the sun setting didn’t make her feel any less uneasy. The woman hadn’t looked away in a while. Eunha did embellish in the text a bit, maybe it wasn’t ten minutes but it was definitely a solid five. Now she was used to eyes being on her. It’s usually the opposite sex though not what looked like 70 year old women. If something doesn’t feel right that’s because it isn’t right. That’s what she learned from her past bad feelings that led to horrid encounters. She glanced back in the stranger’s direction once more before burying her face in her phone. 

        She smirked under he face mask receiving the texts back from, Jiyul. She could already hear her member scolding her for trying to fight, but fight an old lady at that.  

[ sms → μαμά 💖 ] Do you think I will just hit her in public where everyone can see me? I’m not a bad kid who abuses old women.  [ sms → μαμά 💖 ] They DO exist. That’s like asking if I exist unnie I have a lot to tell you about the things in this world. I mean you should assume all things exist hell one day we might see a unicorn. [ sms → μαμά 💖 ] Okay well my stop is here so I am coming out.

        The subway came to her stop her eyes were still on her phone. By the time she looked back up the old woman was gone. It was strange to her since she could have sworn she was just there. There were quite a bit of people around, Eunha made a run for it easily getting lost in a small crowd of people. Rather be safe than to end up doing something she regretted in front of a crowd of people. 

           Her path to the exit was right in front of her face until she saw the old woman again out of the corner of her eye. The two eye’s met, Eunha quickly turned away making her up the steps and out of the subway. Honestly she felt a bit freaked out but she could have been overthinking the situation but her Jiyul would feel better. Two minutes wasn’t a long time seeing as the subway was already in the station when she said it but just to be safe she started walking. She didn’t wait for the woman she had the intention of at least meeting her half way. 

[herayul]

Jiyul bit her lip, only slightly alarmed by the series of messages sent to her phone. That familiar sense of paranoid anxiety washing over her, quickly excusing herself from the practice room to go in search of the younger girl. She barely registered the buzzing in her hand as the directions played through her mind in a blurry daze.  She was able to pause at the sound of the third message, stopping just outside of the company building, looking around quickly before starting to reply. [ sms -> ομορφιά ] Eunha don’t hit anyone please it’s not right  [ sms -> ομορφιά ] if we see a unicorn i’m going to take him home  [ sms -> ομορφιά ] stay there i’m going to run really fast to get there Maybe the last bit was a little exaggerated, Jiyul didn’t have an athletic bone in her body. But, perhaps she could manage a brisk walk. Her feet carried her to the subway station, probably faster than she anticpated, she attributed it to the growing fear settling itself in the pit of her stomach. She sincerely hoped that Eunha didn’t cause a scene.  It wasn’t hard finding the girl, though she didn’t quite stay put like she had asked. And it didn’t look like she had any cuts or bruises, or any old woman following her. All the tension that had built up inside Jiyul dissipated, replaced with worry mixed in with relief. Worry for the girl’s safety and relief that she was okay.  “Eunha, I don’t understand why you insist on not living in the dorm with us, it’s safer and you don’t have to worry about old ladies looking at you.”

[herayul]

[ sms → μαμά 💖 ] this old lady keeps starring at me. I thought it was because she is our fan but I have a mask on. I don't even think I am attracting her. My powers rarely work on women. I am so confused. She is just so creepy honestly. [ sms → μαμά 💖 ] She might be like a fury or something. [ sms → μαμά 💖 ] I am about to get off at the subway stop before the company. I swear I will kick her ass. I don't care if she is old. Anyone can get fought. [ sms → μαμά 💖 ] Unnie come get me please.

[ sms -> ομορφιά ] maybe she thinks you have nice hair, or she likes your outfit?[ sms -> ομορφιά ] honey I doubt she’s a fury…do they still exist?[ sms -> ομορφιά ] Kwon Eunha you will not harm a hair on that old woman’s head, I don’t care if she’s looking at you weird we don’t fight people just because they’re looking at you okay?[ sms -> ομορφιά ] I’ll be there in two minutes don’t fight anyone