𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 , 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐄━𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 , 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄. that’s not crazy , johanna dared to muse silently to herself , but merely a form of escapism or a way to get lost in other thoughts rather than the ones that haunt you . . the ones that make you sad , the ones that traumatized you. how johanna wishes she could check out sometimes , not be so present with the unfortunate overabundance of 𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚄𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙲 memories swimming inside her own head ! annie had the right idea , but johanna knows now is far too important to take a mental vacation. they had a mission to do even now , even after the catastrophe of the quarter quell that nearly costs everyone their lives. but , was it really so bad? katniss got what she wanted : destroyed the arena , made a absolute 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥 out of president snow , && did the damn near impossible. she was their mockingjay , or will be , && was meant to be their savior of sorts yet johanna wonders if she’ll really be up to the task━do they have any other choice? ; her face lights up at the mention of his name && johanna thinks ‘that’s real love.’ before her head nods , ❝ he did━ wouldn’t shut up about you. i told him if he said anything else about him i’d cut his tounge outta his head ! ❞ she laughs , though her humor has always been dark. finnick was her friend , she’d never really hurt him until he truly turned on them. ( not likely , but with the way their world is run you can never be one hundred percent sure. be smart , don’t trust easily even if you think you know someone. ) her hand is taken && again annie 𝖌𝖔𝖊𝖘 𝖔𝖋𝖋 somewhere━ brows furrow , ❝ only the best things , annie. && about me? what’ve they said about me? ❞ instead of asking where their sweet , little bird had flown off too johanna decided to pull her back . . keep the conversation even after her hand is drooped.
a chuckle escapes the loose cage of her lips , imagining it , imagining him . it is something she does fairly often , she has become very good at it . there is a door , and a path . you have got to walk fast , if you do not want anyone to stop you before you find what you are looking for . you have to walk until there is no path anymore , just a door . she enters . she always does . and he is there , every time , looking at the window , or behind the window , waiting to be real , waiting to be let in . she sees him , now , through the thick glass , talking to johanna . with his smile , and his hair , and his precious , precious eyes . she can see him so clearly , as if it was a memory , as if it was reality . god , has she missed him . but as always , the fantasy trembles & disappears , so that eyes can refocus on the girl in front of her .
‹ good thing you didn't . › good - humored observation with an underlying threat , under the smile & the glassy eyes - - - or else . or i would have had to cut yours . or i would have had to do something , anything , to make the pain go away . she remembers the fear of the hunger games , how it fueled her , how she laughed hysterically for hours because it was deeply satisfying to watch it all crumble & disappear . they all think she went mad ; they all talk about it as if she has no idea of what happened . but she knows , she was there , she was the only one there . she remembers . the blood on her hands , the girl's head under water , the anger . the anger , so thick she almost choked on it . it would be so easy to take it back , to wield it again , to pretend for one more second that they never truly left the games . it would be so easy to take johanna's head between her two soft hands & smash it to the side of the bed , to circle it with that small plastic thread hanging on her arm , to make sure she can't breathe & can't move . it would be efficient , and deadly . it would be oh so easy . ‹ they hurt you , didn't they ? › she asks , hand cradled against her chest , breath becoming sloppier . she remembers . she always does . but then everything changes , and it is as if the question has never quivered out of open lips . ‹ they say you're tough . rude . angry . beautiful , too , but that's not exaclty character - defining , now , is it ? ›
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
