The Difference Between Jinx And Alt.(Alternate Universe) Powder
Since season 2 finished, I've had mixed feelings in regards to Alt. Powder and Jinx. It was mostly my Timebomb brain, but I was also trying to understand the psychology behind it all. Special thanks to @jicklet and @lullabyes22-blog Their combined post thread led me to a few realizations. So, here is what my brain decided to torture me with:
Alt. Powder And Jinx Share A Dependency Born Of War
The sudden loss of her parents, at such a young age, led Powder/Jinx to develop a reliance on Vi to play every role she needed in her life: sister, mother, best friend, confidante, provider, teacher, and role model. (Vander did step into the role of provider as well, but Powder/Jinx didn't show dependency on him like she did with Vi.) This dynamic, with Vi, has been mirrored in the majority of her relationships in Arcane. She has one special person that she latches onto, who becomes her world and her drive for everything. She takes her queues from them, gets motivation from them.
In childhood, her goal was to prove herself to her big sister. But, it was Vi who wanted respect from Piltover. Vi, who wanted to steal from Pilties. Vi, who wanted to fight the enforcers. The majority of Powder's input was in a supporting role to whatever Vi decided to do.
Jinx's Trauma Results In: A Fear of Abdandonment
As Jinx, this dependency and need to prove herself is more evident. Because after Vi is gone, she passes the role of "primary motivator" (or special person) onto Silco. And after he dies, she's aimless and drifting. Despite being pushed to fill his seat (by Sevika), she hesitates, unsure of what to do. She's playing around with Isha, but Isha doesn't become her "primary motivator" until after the arrest at the rally. What makes Jinx's relationship with Isha (and Sevika) unique is that it's the first time she's thrown into a leadership role.
The truth is, Jinx only ever reaches her full potential in a leadership role. Think about everything she's done and accomplished. When has she shined the brightest? Leading Zaun's calvary against Noxus. Freeing Isha and the other Zaunites from Stillwater. Sending The Grey back into Piltover with a colorful metaphor. Helping Sevika take down Smeech. Blowing up the council. Choosing the Jinx chair. Going rogue, while working for Silco. Whenever she's doing her own thing and making her own choices, she changes the world.
Her trauma is tied to her relationships, in the form of abandonment and loss. When she finally decides to 'break the cycle', it's because she's breaking the co-dependency with Vi and others from her previous relationships. She wants to detach, because she's tired of tying herself (her self worth, her happiness, her purpose) to people who can't, won't, or are unable to stay. Her trauma of abdandonment is triggered by the fear of letting go.
Alt. Powder's Trauma Results In: A Fear of Power
(Also known as Jonah Complex: "This fear prevents self-actualization, or the realization of one's own potential. It is the fear of one's own greatness, the evasion of one's destiny, or the avoidance of exercising one's talents." ~ Wikipedia)
This alternate version of Jinx seems to have it all: alive family and friends, a possible boyfriend in Ekko, a thriving city. Everybody seems to love her. She's helpful and stable (more so than even Ekko, apparently). The only thing of value that seems to be missing is Vi.
But as we look deeper into the dialogue, we see not everything is as rosey as it appears. Powder tells Vi's doll ["I got the 'not living up to my potential' speech from Vander again."] And later on, Vander tells Ekko, ["Powder's been raving about your Z-drive. Can't remember the last time I saw her so alive."] When still suspicious of Powder's nature, Ekko asks, ["And this invention, you don't have some alternative purpose for it?"] To which, Powder replies, ["You're the big idea guy."]
This Powder lacks the desire for personal achievement. Oh, she's helped everyone else with their projects, but she doesn't WANT to achieve anything for herself. But unlike Jinx, she is surrounded by potential motivators she can connect with: from her maybe boyfriend Ekko, to Vander, Benzo, Silco, to any one of her friends and family.
Then why you may ask, if she's surrounded by so many of these motivators, does she still not take initiative? And my response to that would be:
You know those ugly twins, Fear and Trauma.
Any potential motivator (despite her being attached to them) gets blocked by her trauma response...because Alt. Powder's trauma of power is triggered by a fear of recognition.
When anyone points out her potential or expresses a desire to see her make something of or for herself, she shuts it down. Thinking about it too long opens up her trauma. It upsets her. She rejects any thought that makes her special, even though everyone knows she is.
To me, this demonstrates a fear of power. Some behavioral symptoms include: downplaying one's achievements, self-sabotage, avoiding leadership roles, and avoiding situations where one might gain significant influence.
This episode showed us the reality of what Powder's trauma would have resulted in, had the tragedy took place at the apartment instead of the warehouse. The difference lies in the trigger: Vi's death was from an explosion Powder caused (by dropping the hex crystal). But! What makes this even worse, is that it was also caused by (you guessed it) the power of invention. It was an inventor's apartment they broke into and an inventor's experiment that lead to a death. From that point forward, Powder feared what she herself could do.
I think her time with our Ekko allowed her a glimpse into the life she'd have, if she wasn't so afraid of her power. We see Ekko openly admire how powerful his Jinx is, despite how often she's used that to hurt him. And when they want to experiment further with the Z-drive (despite Heimerdinger's warning), she makes a non-commital noise, before giving Ekko a mischievous smile. Ekko allowed her the freedom to question whether she wanted more, without triggering her trauma by demanding she change.
The last scene of episode 7, signifies Powder's continued choice to follow this path, unaltered. Earlier in the episode, Ekko went to the apartment, to gather hex crystal remnants to work on. He was picking it out of the wall with tweezers. This is all he got.
The real kicker?
She's had a whole bag of them, in her drawer, the entire time they were working on the Z-drive. The ones she stole from the apartment? Yeah, she kept them. They're there, in a drawer, sitting unused. The potential for power that—a fraction of which was able to build a TIME MACHINE—sits in a drawer untouched, along with a necklace from the boy who almost broke through to her, who almost changed the course of her life. This scene signifies the "unused potential" of both the hex crystals and the lesson Ekko tried to teach her. It too will be untouched for a while.
Alternate Universe Powder is worse off than Jinx, at this point, because Jinx is facing her trauma and finding new ways to break through it. This Powder may never "wake" again.
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[The End. Thanks for reading. Please, excuse the crappy photo quality. ...and probably writing. 🫤 Eh, who cares? This is for me and my brain demon anyways.]
