Sunsets & Silhouette Dreams

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me..?

[poetic-pics]

6 months ago…

[quotemadness]

“But one of the big lessons I have learned from my journey is you can’t please everyone, so don’t try.”

— Chris Colfer

[c-isnenegro]

[quotemadness]

“I have a million things to talk to you about. A million things we have to talk about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.”

— Haruki Murakami

[herebytheoceanwaiting]

💔

[quotemadness]

“I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I’m like a collection of paradoxes.”

— Ferdinand de Saussure

[quotemadness]

“I’ve learned a lot this year.. I learned that things don’t always turn our the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.”

— Jennifer Weiner

[quotemadness]

“You don’t always win your battles, but it’s good to know you fought.”

— Lauren Bacall

[quotemadness]

“I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up.”

— Lauren Oliver

[typography-is-cool]

[quotemadness]

“This is why it hurts the way it hurts. You have too many words in your head. There are too many ways to describe the way you feel. You will never have the luxury of a dull ache. You must suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much.”

— Iain Thomas

[quotemadness]

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.”

— David Levithan

[typography-images]

[poetic-pics]

Here comes that feeling…

[typography-is-cool]

[herebytheoceanwaiting]

Let's clear some shit up.

I got on your Tumblr like a day ago.. because removing you from my social media and from my life has been hard as fuck. And I had a weak moment and wanted to know if you were struggling with this too.. instead I saw all the posts that essentially were dragging me.. and the ones where you just "don't give a fuck" and that hurt.

I removed you from my socials on the 30th of October.. a day after you posted that picture from my Tumblr that you reblogged and I told you I had problems with.. so almost a month.. that you had time to send me a quick message saying something like "super busy at the moment, but just wanted you to know I do want to catch up sometime". That took me less than 15 seconds to type... probably less time than you spent reblogging about my "evil" or "cruel" personality.

I told you at your wedding that I we needed to talk.. and I came to your wedding.. how is none of that not classed as trying?! I fucking told you that I loved you.. after everything that was going on.. and then I felt like a fucking idiot 2 weeks after.

And I didn't want to talk to you last time?! Let me refresh your memory mate. I was trying to focus on my 7 fucking exams.. so I could be eligible to graduate.. You're damn fucking straight I wasn't ready to talk. And then when you forced that issue right before my birthday and exams and we had that big scream off in the car and I went home to cry in my driveway for over an hour?! And I got to lose precious studying time.. and then I couldn't focus on my birthday or my exams for like 3 days... yeah. Let's not blame me for that one.

Would you like to try again on the "I didn't try" page.. you asked me to try in June.. I spent every week fucking calling you to chat after I'd finished football.. you never once rang me, I don't even think you texted me.

Also, there was nothing fucking easy about being the one who ended a 7 year friendship with someone I thought would always be in my life. It wasn't me "being a coward" or whatever other bullshit you'd like to state. It was me realising that I was fucking hurting in this friendship.. that I just couldn't continue like that anymore. It was me realising for once I had to put me first, and take care of my needs and wants and not what everyone else wanted from me. Under no circumstances was it from a cowardly place.

In the end, I'm sorry it went down this way. I really do hope you find what you're looking for in life, and you find happiness and peace. Thank you for all the memories, there is a lot and I don't know how I'll ever end up listening to most songs in my playlists, but I wouldn't replace them ever. I'm sorry we'll never get to travel the world, be aunties for our kids or have champagne at 60.. thems the way the cookie crumbles.

[you-lost-her-idiot]

[pretty-words-blog]

I know that when we saw each other…

[herebytheoceanwaiting]

In the end it was too complicated.. I said we needed to talk, and I waited for you to tell me that yes we would and to set a date.. and you didn't. In the end it hurt too much