nightwing stan

lover of the found family trope -icon by natashowlet

[bastardraccooon]

Jackie Taylor did the thing that every teenager wants to do at least once — die after a petty argument so that everyone will feel fucking guilty for the rest of their lives

[kosmogrl]

does anyone know

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure

[mynameis---m]

Pardon?

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

I said if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure

[lesbianforlouis]

i love beetee sm♡♡

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[json-derulo]

A few additional updates/clarifications:

Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey

Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper

Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:

[littlebluething5]

Shout out to Beetee Latier for not going Batshit crazy, I would have torn Snow apart with my bare hands after what he did.

[hereforagoodtimenotalongone]

Do you think when Beetee watched his son die in the arena that he thought about all the kids he killed in his games? Do you think he imagine their parents? Their agony?

[the-real-nikki19]

a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted

their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"

"Every writer"?

come on

[rose-of-pollux]

Reblog if you're a writer who doesn't use AI.

[gracious-midnight]

NEVERRRRRRRRRR

[hereforagoodtimenotalongone]

something that's been bothering me since reading sunrise on the reaping is why on earth snow would send the people that tried to blow up the 50th arena into the 75th and expect them not to give it another go

well, i was thinking about it and my current theory is that snow did know that beetee would try to blow up the arena (or otherwise break it) because yeah! of course he would!

but, snow didn't expect it to work. the plan only succeeded because plutarch was in on it – because they had insider info and the support of the head game maker – which snow wouldn't have known about.

i think snows goal with allowing this attempt at rebellion to go ahead was because he was confident that it wouldn't work, and then when it failed he could send mutts in to get beetee (similar to the ones that got ampert) because snow is petty and what's worse than dying knowing that your none of your rebellion attempts have succeeded and being reminded of how painful and terrifying your child's last moments must have been?

and, as a bonus, forcing haymitch to once again watch helplessly as his ally is torn apart?

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[anxietyproblem]

[aspiringsorceress]

[psychotic-gerard]

as a smoker one of the fastest way i dissuade people from smoking is i go you know how your headaches suck. imagine a permanent headache that slowly gets more and more expensive to cure and also you cant stop coughing in the middle of all of this. yeah? this sucks.

[psychotic-gerard]

i have said this before but end stage liver failure did not dissuade me from starting opiates. what dissuaded me was someone telling me "do you want to be itchy for the rest of your life? this is how you be itchy for the rest of your life."

[psychotic-gerard]

people in the tags keep bringing things that are terminal, and i need you to understand some thing critical here. people do not conceptualise what they've not experienced properly and the 'inconvenient' side-effects come faster, and are far more likely than the Big Scary Ones. "dont start cocaine because your liver will fail" -- means nothing to me, have never experienced liver failure, also it takes forever for me to get to that stage. "do you want to know what cocaine shits are" -- paying attention, do not alter my shits habits.

[iremade483492348234]

time to waste the last month of 2013 on the internet

[penny-anna]

Hi gang I am looking for recs for short books!! Like 150 pages and under. U got any good short books send em my way. Open to graphic novels also.

[hereforagoodtimenotalongone]

little more than 150 (like 170?h but if anyone is into horror Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark is a fantastic short horror

[cassiebnuy]

i hate holiday music so much "giddyup jinglehorse pick up your feet" has the mouthfeel of somethign my homophobic high school coach would yell at me on track day

[cassiebnuy]

its that time again

[malglories]

i do feel somewhat ruined forever. but it’s okay we stay silly

[sisyphusshrugged]

having a hard time focusing today. i've also had a hard time focusing for the previous 15 or so years leading up to now but this post is about today.