I’m glad that OP:
1) Figured this out.
2) Shared so others can learn from their mistake.
KIROKAZE
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ojovivo
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Janaina Medeiros

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

izzy's playlists!

JBB: An Artblog!

if i look back, i am lost

Kaledo Art

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Not today Justin

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@hereforsnacks
I’m glad that OP:
1) Figured this out.
2) Shared so others can learn from their mistake.
I think Shane coming hands free the first time he was fucked genuinely made Ilya feel insane. Like, here is your league-mandated rival, he skates like a god, he has the media eating out of the palm of his hand, he commands the room without even seeming to realise his power, he is fucking gorgeous, he drops to his knees at the slightest prompting, he moans like a whore, and, oh! he also fucking spurts all over himself just from having your dick in his ass. Have fun trying to content yourself with fucking literally anyone else for the rest of your life!
it’s gorgug- keep going.
mother, daughter // a sandra lynn and figueroth faeth poem
here’s the contrapuntal poem I wrote as a part of @d20exchange 2025 for @complicatedwomenpodcast!!❄️
+ bonus short sandra lynn playlist here because I was feeling inspired
what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this
Whereas the reality is far more like
Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko
What would happen if we put another creature in the Death Plinko, like, say, perhaps, a horse
btw not putting out the draft order ahead of time and letting everyone put together their fun little mock drafts and speculate about who's going to go in what round is actively harming both the teams (who obviously can't plan their strategies) AND the league itself because they are losing out on so much free publicity from journalists and youtubers and random bloggers and every loser on the internet with an opinion. this is an absolutely stacked draft class with an absurd amount of talent and they are SQUANDERING the publicity!!!!! COME ON!!!!!!!
oh my god i submit a new bit to the shallergies council: ilya ends up doing a lot of footwork in asking about allergens as an act of service because shane has literally had to do this his whole life. so like. take a break. let me grab this one.
to the end result that it's not uncommon for shane to be like, "wait, can i eat this?" about things during team bbqs or something because he was over having fun with a ginger ale and ilya got the rundown because he wanted to know anyway.
but this also then evolves to a game of shane pointing to things that are OBVIOUSLY not safe and asking "can i eat this?" and ilya going "no. bad." purely as a bit. (like bowls of peanuts/cake with slivered almonds on it). and it's just a way of making an important part of their life also feel less heavy. like when it comes time to actually eat, the question is genuine and important, but if they're mingling and just passing by, it's just a funny inside joke.
and it's one ilya reciprocates, too. he has no allergies, but he still points at things and is like, "can i have this?" and shane just "nope. not allowed. forbidden.". and it's a joke.
to THEM.
for everyone on the outside of this dynamic who just overhears them, they're??? what the FUCK is y'all's dynamic?? how are you both equally wildly controlling of each other?? how does that even WORK??
this morning thinking ab how much ilya loves shane’s tdick. he loooves it it’s so chubby, so wonderful, soooo sexy. gentleman under his hood. the way it pulses. ”hollander he’s waving at me :)” he’s never been so endeared and bricked up at the same time, watching how it moves drives him CRAZY. he loves having him in his mouth, perfect juicy mouthful for ilya, so sweet
following on from other discussions on my dash today (thank you @ilyarizzanov and @ilyasmole I hope you don’t mind being shouted out for being correct as always!), but I think another point to be made is that Ilya’s bisexuality is also super important as a metaphor within the story. As in, it symbolises his fluidity and ability to code switch in contrast to shane’s more rigid characterisation (think about that line from svetlana where they’re talking about how Shane can’t play wing but Ilya can, the whole ‘me? you would have him center me??’ bit that Ilya plays up) That difference between them, Ilya’s more go-with-the-flow nature and Shane’s need-for-structure-and-rules informs how they both show up in their relationship, is part of why their feelings for one another go unspoken about for so long.
Shane even brings it up when he comes out to Ilya ‘shut up you’re not gay’ ‘no, not completely’ ‘well I think I am, completely’…like, Shane’s fears about how Ilya doesn’t have to choose him like he has to choose Ilya are what holds him back from saying how he feels. The fact that Ilya has a real chance to make a f/m relationship work in a way that Shane does not is where a lot of his insecurity in admitting to himself how deeply he’s fallen for him stems from. And we can argue the finer points on whether that fear is problematic or rooted in some level of biphobia or not, I’m not trying to erase that, but I don’t think we can argue that it doesn’t play a role in the story.
To me, I think the fact that there is that fear there, that chance that Ilya could end up with a woman For Real, is part of what drives Shane into going for it in admitting his feelings. It’s narratively super important - even at the cottage, when Ilya’s talking about marrying svetlana for a green card, their discussion on how Ilya could find some woman he loves and marry her for real is the catalyst for Ilya being honest about how much he thinks about Shane, which in turn is the catalyst for Shane coming up with the Ottawa plan and the boys telling each other they love each other. That plot falls apart without the reality that Ilya could end up with a woman. Additionally, I think that the fact Ilya does have other options actually makes his choice to pick Shane anyway more meaningful. It deepens their love, rather than weakens it. Just as Shane’s struggle to accept himself and admit his sexuality deepens how meaningful it is for him to admit his love for Ilya.
To erase Ilya’s identity as a bi man erases a core part of the story.
this is not me starting a fight at ALL or calling out anyone specifically because i would NEVER do that, but i have to say i don't *love* when fics have shane taking the position of wing for ilya and treating it like a positive moment of character growth for him not being the star or the center on the line, as if he needed to be humbled as a point of personal development.
and i'm just like?? he is THE shane hollander. he is where he is because he is THAT fucking good. even ilya says that shane is the better hockey player.
and he doesn't get to be openly proud of that.
we see the difference in interviews between him and ilya in the show. ilya gets to be confident and smug about his skills (which is earned! he's ilya fucking rozanov!! shane's only true competitor to always challenge him on the ice!), but shane has to SO carefully toe the line of being confident but not cocky because he is a minority in this sport and doesn't get the grace a white man would. shane KNOWS he's good. he KNOWS he's the fucking best at this. but the closest he gets to come in an interview is saying, "i'll listen if he catches up to me," which has an underlying current of "i'm better than him" but isn't him openly getting to say how good he is.
shane doesn't need to be humbled. he is not out here bragging about himself constantly (not that ilya truly is, either, but shane doesn't get to be openly proud of how good he is in the same way around other people). so i don't love that there's sometimes a sense of, "this is good for him" when he has to give up something he fucking EARNED with hard work and talent that he already doesn't get to be openly proud of already.
especially when like. it's noted that ilya has been the captain of every team he's ever been on. he was initially (playfully, but every joke has a little truth in it) annoyed at svetlana saying that he should wing shane instead of being center. (and also?? the teamwork went fucking CRAZY when they were in this arrangement. when ilya allowed himself to set down the expectation he's been raised under that he HAS to be in charge of the team and has to be the star or he's a disappointment, he had fun and it went GREAT.)
and again!! i am speaking on behalf of #myshane and #myilya and also with the caveat of hockey doesn't exist without expectations and politics and ilya has seniority on the team which is a factor in this beyond pure skill, but *i* feel like the arrangment that actually supports both of them growing is ilya winging shane and shane keeping center. we know shane and ilya are each other's main competition and the only people who can truly match each other, and we know from what ilya's said that even he thinks shane is the better player, so in my head, shane IS the best center of the two of them, but ilya has better flexibility in being able to move to other positions. and i feel like it honestly could be really good for *ilya* to be able to set down the expectation he's been raised under that he has to have The Big Role or he's failed.
conversely, i think shane's best potential growth happens off of the ice and involves interpersonal relationships and learning how to connect to people. i think shane is by nature very self-focused because he is so painfully aware of himself and how he's appearing all of the time (partially because he fucking HAS to be), and this does tend to contribute to him keeping himself apart in a lot of ways on an emotional level. and it's not that he doesn't care about other people or that he's not interested in getting to know people (hayden invited him to come home to dinner and we see him ending up doing things like going to the aquarium with him and his kids on the weekend and rose invited him to sit down with her and they chatted for hours and then started dating! he can ABSOLUTELY do it when he has a direct "come sit down and let's get to know each other"), but i think it doesn't come naturally to him already, and he's usually so tied up in his head about his own shit that it takes conscious effort for him to look around. i feel like the better point of growth for him, then, is learning how to build strong relationships with people on the team as friends instead of as just teammates even if the other person doesn't initiate.
and again: NOT A CALLOUT. JUST MY TWO CENTS. PLS TO SPEND THEM AS YOU WISH.
everybody neeeeeds to go read this new yorker cartoon article with jacob tierney!!!!! it's so good
Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie drawn by Zoe Si for The New Yorker
when racial humiliation gets mistaken for complicity: on the hudson williams "discourse"
i've been thinking a lot about the whole hudson williams inflammatory photo situation, about whether i want to post anything into the internet abyss, about what i can even contribute to this matter. i've decided i'm going to dump some of my thoughts because this whole thing feels a lot less like run-of-the-mill internet discourse and more like a huge, racially-motivated internet defamation campaign.
it’s disappointing to see people demand accountability from a cyberstalked celebrity for something that may very well have been racial humiliation, coercion, and/or targeting when he was a minor. and just to be clear, the symbols in the photo are absolutely offensive. i’m not disputing that. however, a huge part of the issue for me is how few people seem interested in context & how quickly a decontextualized image has been treated as definitive proof of intent, agency, and endorsement.
i’m going to try to share this without doxxing myself. i’m white. i grew up in a very white suburban neighborhood and attended a predominantly white public high school. the racist bullying in my school was so bad that a major news network made an entire documentary about it. i share the below having spent a lot of time reflecting on my own complacency as a white person & through conversations i’ve had (and still have -- the trauma fucking lingers) with long-term friends who experienced racially-motivated hate daily in our school. i know my school is not unique, which is a large part of the reason why i've decided to share this.
(i’m about to share examples, so if you don’t want to read, i've noted below where the examples end. if you're white, please sit with the discomfort & continue reading.)
in my high school, it was commonplace for students of color -- especially melanated students of color -- to be hazed, degraded, and publicly humiliated. racist harassment and acts of racial terror were normalized, and assimilation to whiteness was expected in order to maintain the school’s (and broader community's) racial hierarchy. for many students of color, belonging was conditional. social acceptance usually required minimizing experiences of racism, laughing along with racist jokes, distancing themselves from other students of color, tolerating humiliation and abuse, proving they were “not like the other [students of color],” etc.
the reward for “playing along” was limited and precarious social inclusion. the punishment was exclusion and ostracization by students and parents alike. for many of my friends and peers, assimilation to whiteness was not a desired choice -- it was survival. people of color are often taught that they must endure racism, degradation, and humiliation to gain access to spaces that white people inhabit by default.
the same weekend my school hosted its annual “diversity night,” a white jewish student drew a sw*stika on a Brown student at a party and posted it on instagram. the Brown student was suspended for three days, and the white student -- whose parents defended him like they were in court -- got away scot-free. my friends of color have repeatedly shared that they felt gaslit by our school, which proudly hosted diversity initiatives, multicultural events, and anti-bullying campaigns, yet did little to hold individual students/friend groups accountable for racist harm. instead, the students who were held accountable were often the very students of color who fell victim to this racist harm.
(examples over)
i feel like a lot of people engaging in the hudson discourse are failing to recognize how often racial humiliation functions as a social ritual that reinforces white supremacy. we now have access to a photo of a teenager who was one of the only people of color in a predominantly white social environment, surrounded by white peers, with hateful symbols drawn on his face. maybe he made terrible decisions. maybe he should have objected. maybe he felt like he couldn’t. the point is, we don't know the context. why are we so quick to dismiss the possibility that an asian teenager in a predominantly white social environment may have been the target of racial humiliation, coercion, or abuse?
i also can't help but think about the model minority myth. asian folks are often expected to navigate racism in ways that are legible to white audiences -- be respectable, agreeable, non-confrontational, respond "correctly," etc. yet racism ofc doesn't always look like open hostility, and survival doesn't always look like resistance. sometimes it looks like silence. or laughing along. or enduring humiliation because the social consequences of refusing are worse. like i said above, for many people of color, assimilation is a strategy for survival. the speed with which folks have dismissed those possibilities says a lot about how narrowly many people understand racism, victimhood, and accountability when asian people are involved.
what's clear is that people have spent months digging through his entire historical internet presence, combing through the private social media accounts of people he knew as a teenager, excavating photos that were never meant for public consumption, and distributing them online to maximize outrage. say what you will about the celebrity as a surveilled public commodity -- that's not the point i'm trying to make here. people are digging through this guy’s life with the explicit goal of finding material that can be used against him, flattening every possible interpretation of the shared image into the one that causes the maximum amount of harm. we act as though the existence of a photograph tells us everything we need to know about the circumstances under which it was taken.
a lot of people seem less interested in understanding context/what happened than they are in destroying him. and (coming from a queer jew) a lot of people are suddenly very eager to weaponize antisemitism and homophobia as "gotchas" when they've never previously demonstrated any meaningful concern for either.
one last thing -- demanding accountability is not the same as pursuing justice. without context, proportionality, or any interest in the truth, it merely feels like part of the spectacle.
the post is getting unwieldy in a "do you love the color of the sky?" manner, but ilya learns this while reading through an allergy forum and it keeps him up at night for WEEKS
shane is peacefully snoozing away after a tasty allergy-compliant dinner and meanwhile ilya is just
I could have killed him with one blowjob
Shane "allergic to a gazillion most random foods and has a list about it" Hollander 🤝 Ilya "nooo I am not allergic to pollen, I just happen to get the flu every spring" Rozanov
I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them
he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"
and ilya
reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"
and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-
"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"
"what are you talking about?"
shane: "i'm allergic"
"??? since WHEN??"
"since always??"
"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"
"jackie knows"
"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"
yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*
the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"
shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.
he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"
and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??
A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.
B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.
C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-
@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD
@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!
shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-
oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.
and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.
also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.
GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-
and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."
MAN
shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.
but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.
this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.
@riddlemaster101
i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail
for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣
Can we also talk about the Yuna and David of it all?
David spots them at the cottage and they go over, Shane's cottage is obviously allergen free and the shopping he did is all safe for him. Yuna and David know to cook safely, the chicken parm is all good and fine but they say "the croutons aren't safe for you, but you don't like those anyway" just in passing as a matter of habit and Ilya who JUST learned about bananas and latex and bees is like "oh wow! More allergies?? I need a list. Haha" and then they have the meal and the panic attack and they become boyfriends. Before they leave Yuna makes him a copy of her list of all the known allergens and Shane's common reactions to them, it's the first time he hugs her. He looks her in the eye and says "thank you for letting me take care of him. I will be careful."
It's a relief, to know he cares to try. But at the end of the day they JUST met this man. So they cross their fingers and try not to feel the same way they did every time Shane went to somebody's house for a birthday party or a sleepover.
And then they are over at the cottage some night and they decide to order in for dinner. Ilya takes everybody's orders and goes to the kitchen to call it in for them and it's taking *forever* so Yuna goes to see if he needs any help. She finds him sitting with two copies of the list, hers and one translated into Russian for his easy reference. He has the phone on speaker and says "thank you for checking the dressing ingredients, I know is weird request, but sometimes Caesar dressing is safe, sometimes not safe, but he likes it so much is worth checking. Yes, I'll hold again."
They've ordered from this place a dozen times, their recipe for Caesar dressing is safe, YUNA knows that, SHANE knows that, that's why he ordered it. But *Ilya* doesn't. So he's checking. Because Shane wants the dressing and Ilya want him *safe* and *happy*. And isn't that all a parent wants? For their kid to be with someone who is just as invested in their happiness and safety as they are? For somebody who will wait on hold while they check the fry oil and the dressing ingredients and whatever else?
Once Ilya has placed the order and hung up he gets surprised by a hug from behind, thin arms wrapped around him and perfume he's starting to recognize. He's bewildered, but when he asks gently "...Mrs. Hollander?" She just tells him to call her Yuna.
WEEPING
also cackling about the idea of ilya using the group chat with them to be mad about brands changing their ingredients so things that were SAFE are now NOT 😤 it started just as a "hey, those crackers aren't safe anymore" as a collective fyi thing, but it ends up being ilya just mad about safe things not being safe anymore
significantly shane remains SO unbothered about it all
also EXTREMELY funny to imagine ilya suddenly being strict about allergens in his house with svetlana, who has done body shots off of strangers with this motherfucker who is suddenly?? confiscating her granola bar??? ilya what the actual FUCK is happening right now??? "no peanuts inside anymore" "...what the fuCK ARE YOU TALKI-"