No but I can’t get over how in Goodbye, Sydney was having at it with Carmy, called him a menace, a maniac, blaming him for changing the menu every day, yelling at Richie, driving the business into the ground, putting them into so much debt, leaving her with all this shit to deal with, taking things out on the people who work here and on her, BUT after all is said and done, her real issue comes to the surface: “you run away when things are good and it’s not fucking fair!” Because yes, she’s angry as fuck at him for all this, but she can deal with his worst. She can manage it, maybe she can even fix it. But what actually hurts her is that she can’t share the good with him.
It’s season 2 all over again. After his breakdown in Review, he was careful, he wanted to start at a positive place, things were better, there was something starting between them… until he got scared and fucked off. And then in Omelette, they had a beautiful, intimate moment, promised each other they were not alone, he was supporting her through service, he was good, then… the freezer happened, and then he fucked off mentally.
She can take the menace everyday if it means she also has him by her side when things are good. Yeah, she’s pissed that he leaves when the future of the restaurant is uncertain, but what really undoes her is that he leaves when things are finally starting to get better. She always gets his worst, and she still sticks by him, and now that he is getting better, she wanted that. She wanted him. She loves him so much.
She can take anything he throws at her, she knows that. She’s truly tougher than the rest, as the lyrics say in the wedding episode. But he played her weakness when he decided he will take himself away from her, when he decided he wanted her to have this good thing by herself. That is what makes her unravel. Why did she put up with so much bullshit, if in the end, she only gets the absence of him?
I never liked those posts that reduce the Disney princesses to “girl who overacts about something and dramatically flings herself down and bawls” (super popular in the early 10’s and somehow that’s how a shocking majority view the classics now) but after an Aladdin (1992) rewatch, it’s especially egregious that they ever included Jasmine in that.
This part. This is the part I’m talking about
This is not a woman falling to pieces because her father won’t let her marry a man she just met.
This is a woman born to a life she has very little say in. She has never had a genuine friend (besides a tiger). She is facing a marriage to a man she doesn’t know and doesn’t like but duty (and the law) demands it. So she took a risk, ran away, ran to a world she doesn’t know or understand and when she landed in trouble (serious, serious trouble) a stranger came to her aid. She finally (finally!) made a real connection with someone but they didn’t get much time together before the guards showed up and she had to reveal who she was.
This moment when she’s crying her heart out? It comes after she’s been told that the first person she ever connected with, the first person to be genuinely interested in her for who she is and not what she is, the first real friend she has ever made, was executed… because of her.
She believes a good, innocent person has lost their life because of her actions, and what’s more, it brings home the reality for her that she cannot have a normal life or normal relationships, because see the consequences one little attempt wrought?
Leon: "For example that Halit Ikbal, his pen works only when he has something hateful to say to the enemy. When was the last time he mentioned love in his writing? How does a person who doesn't know how to love a person know how to love the country?
@dontwannastudybutihaveto OK HI I thought it might be easier to reblog replies back and forth instead of comments lol, plus you can’t include attachments in the comments and I had one to share 🤭 BUT ANYWAY I took a really terrible photo earlier bc Hilal was talking to her newspaper group while still locked up AND LEON WAS LOOKING AT HWR LIKE THIS AS SHE WAS TALKING WITH THEM????? SHE WASNT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM AND HW WAS JUST SO AWESTRUCK?? I THINK SHE WAS SMILING AT THE TIME TOO SO HE WAS PROBABLY LIKE “oh…her smile…” BAKSJAIAJSNSKS
LIKE. ITS SUCH A TERRIBLE PHOTO IM SORRY BUT HE HAD SO MUCH ADMIRATION FOR HER ON HIS FACEEEEWWWWEJRJWDKJSKSKSJSK I need to go back and screenshot every single encounter they have actually bc
THE PHOTO IS A BIT TERRIBLE BUT MAN IS SO FINE SO NVM GURL. HE SAW HER SMILING IG PROBABLY FOR THE FIRST TIME OR SO AND HE IS ENRAPTURED AND CAPTIVATED. HE IS ALSO REALIZING THAT HILAL MAY SEEM ALL STRONG AND BOLD FROM OUTSIDE BUT SHE ALSO HAS FEARS AND TERROR. SHE LOVES HER LOVED ONE FIERCELY AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. HE IS ADMIRING HER FROM AFAR. AND MAYBE HE ALSO WANTS TO SEE HER SMILE LIKE THAT AT HIM???? AKSHSBJQKWBSJSIYWGEBDN ALSO SHORTLY AFTER THIS SHE CALLS HIM "LEON,,,,,THANK YOU" AND THEN HE NODS AT HER SO SOFTLY AKSHWJWOMSBDVSJWKSHJAHSJSKKAJSJSJ OMG YES THE SCREENSHOTS I TOOK SO MANY OF THEM LOL BUT MY STORAGE GOT FULL SO HAD TO DELETE MY FAMILY'S PICTURES LOL 😭😭😭😭
YES YES YES LIKE HE SEES SHE'S FIERCE BUT SHE'S ALSO SO SO SCAREEEEDDDGJGKJSDHGKHSDG AND YES WHEN SHE THANKS HIM AND HE STEPS TOWARDS HER AND JUST LOOKS AT HER SOFTLY WAGUGHHFKJDHGHJG BUT ALSO BAHAHA NOT THE REMOVAL OF THE FAMILY PICTURES TO KEEP THE SHIP ONES THATS SO REAL XD
also i am about to watch more of ep 12 wheheheheehheehhehehe
LEON NOTICED HER ACROSS THE STREET AND CAME OVER AND WHEN HILAL MENTIONED HE AND YILDIZ'S RELATIONSHIP HE WAS LIKE "yeah, it's a FRIENDship. a friendship. that's all lololol. definitely nothing more than that in case you're personally interested" AND THEN JUST DIDNT CARE WHEN HILAL MENTIONED HIM HAVING BEEN KIDNAPPED AND WAS ALL "eh yeah I mean it was worth it though, the important thing is that you're safe" AND THEN SAID IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SHE HADNT BEEN SAVED AND AUGH??? I am severely overanalyzing every single crumb the show is giving me among the hours of non hileon content BUT I DO NOT CARE THEY ARE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR
OH MHY GIOSH
GIOHIUTHIUGHUEIHUH
WAIT
WAIT WAIT IWATI
SHE JUST LIKE. TEASED HIM A LITTLE AND WAS LIKE "oh so a Greek soldier who hates the Turkish is now worried about a Turkish girl? 🤨" AND HE JUST STARED AT HER FOR A LONG MOMENT WITH LIKE. SHEER ADMIRATION AND THEN SMIRKED AND STEPPED CLOSER OMGHGUHUHGUHHDGHAGLDKHGHA
"It's impossible not to admire you" WHILE STILL SMILING IM LOSING ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT also the way he was trying to turn that very heart-eyes-statement into an excuse about how bc of her courage he can respect the enemy more and stand up to them more but meanwhile he's literally just :3 as he talks about how much he admires her YOUR EXCUSE IS A FLIMSY ONE SIR AND NO ONE IS FOOLED
OHOHGGHGKUHGKH THE AMR GRAB !!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love finally coming across the scenes that I've only seen in gifs, delicious
OHGYGGUIH
OH M
HGHG
IM
RREAKING OUT
BC IMMEDIATELY AFTER TRYING TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT SHES THE ENEMY HES LIKE "if you ever need anything I'm around" AND HES LITERALLY BLUSHING AND STAMMERING AS HE SAYS IT I CANNOTTTTT HES CRUSHING SO BAD
omggg and now the baes are arguing again by quoting literature @ each other as if that's not a form of flirting and they BOTH know it 🤭 also the way he walks her watch away and his smile slowly drops bc she's gone :(
OMG GURL YOU JUST WROTE ALL THE THOUGHTS THAT I HAD IN MY MIND WHILE WATCHING THEM..... NOW I WANT TO WATCH THE EARLIER EPISODES WHERE THEY ARE *COUGH* FLIRTING *COUGH* I MEAN BICKERING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE IS CRUSHING OVER HER SO BAD HE IS DOWN BAD WE HAVE LOST HIM I AM SORRY😭😭😭😭😭😭 AND I JUST LOVE WHEN THEY QUOTE ALL THESE LITERATURE STUFF TO EACH OTHER I LOVEEEEE IIIITTT😭😭😭😭😭 HE BECOMES SO SHY AND TIMID AROUND HER LIKE A PUPPY AND WANTS TO TALK TO HER EVERY SINGLE TIME AND IT IS JUST SO ADORABLE OMGJBDBFJFJHDGSHSJH I AM SO AFRAID THAT YOU'LL OFFICIALLY LOST IT AT EPISODE 17 PRAYING FOR YOU MY FRIEND.
SO I FEAR I LOST ALL WILLPOWER IN THE PAST HOUR OR SO AND WAS DESPERATE FOR MORE THAN JUST CRUMBS AND WENT THROUGH ALL THE HILEON MOMENTS THROUGH EPISODE 17 AND YEAB. YEAH. OMG HUIGAHEIUHGIUERHIUHAGKDHG, SGREIIJING SOBBBING THRWOING UP. "I AM UNFORTUNATELY DEFEATED IN THIS WAR" AND THEN GE KISSED HER IM GOING TO THROW UP IM GHUTHUHGUHGUHUH I CANNOT HE'S SO DOWN BAD FOR HER ITS SICKENING BUT IN AN AMAZING STUPENDOUS BEAUTIFUL WAY, IM LITERALLY SO UNWELL, ALSO THE WAY HE JUST SOFTLY TOOK HER HANDS AND HELD THEM SO GENTLY AND TENDERLY BEFORE KISSING HER????
BUT ALSO LITERALLY HES SO SHY AROUND HER AND YOU CAN TELL WHENEVER SHE SNAPS AT HIM IT LIKE. COMPLETELY CRUSHES HIM BC HE JUST WANTS HER TO LIKE HIM BACK AND ALSO THE LETTER HE WROTE TO YILDIZ??? TEARING AT THE WALLS????? HE IS SOOOOOOOOO IN LOVE OH MY GOSH AND I LOVE THAT SHES STARTING TO FALL TOO BUT IS TRYING TO PREVENT HERSELF FROM DOING IT BC HES THE ENEMY AND ALL THAT (it's ok Hilal, FALL FOR HIM ALREADY, JUST DO IT TRUST MEEEE)
oh ALSO THE DANCE SCENEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HE WAS LOOKING AT HER SO TENDERLY I WANTED TO SOB AND SHE WAS CLEARLY SO CONFUSED ABOUT HOW HE WAS MAKING HER FEEL BECAUSE SHE WAS SMILING ONE MINUTE AND WILDLY BAFFLED THE NEXT LIKE GIRL HE LOVES YOU, LOVE HIM BACK RIGHT NOW
OH NO GURL YOU GAVE IN TO THE TEMPTATION (YOU ALSO GOT DEFEATED IN THE HILEON WAR I AM AFRAID) THEY ARE SUCH AN IDIOT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THE DIALOGUE DELIVERY FOR (unfortunately i am defeated in this war hilal) WAS INSANE LIKE WTF MY BRO YOU CAN'T JUST CAUSALLY QUOTE ARISTOTLE AND THEN SAY THIS OMGAGAHDHSJSJDB WHEN I WATHCED THIS SCENE I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO MUFFEL MY BAT LIKE ULTRASONIC SCREAM AT 2 AM AND ALSO THE NEXT MORNING (AFTER HE WENT TO CATCH HALIT IQBAL BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED) 🙂 WHEN HE CATCHES HILAL'S EYES AND THERE IS THIS MISERABLE YEARNING IN HIS EYES AND I SWEAR EVERYTIME HE LOOKED AT HILAL AFTERWARDS HE GETS THROWN BACK TO THAT NIGHT 😭😭
AND THE DANCE SCENE WHEN HE FIRST SAW HER HE WAS AWESTRUCK HIS BREATH GOT STUCK BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE I KNOW IT 😭 I WAS GIGGLING AND BLUSHING SO HARD MY CHEEKS HURTED SM LOL AND ALSO HILAL'S DENIAL STAGE GAME IS SO STRONG GURL MOVE FORWARD HOW IS SHE SO STRONG PLEASE HOW CAN SHE NOT MELT AT HIS SOFT EYES AND COTTON CANDY FLUFFY HAIR AND THEY WAY HE IS TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP HER SAFE I WOULD'VE FOLDED SO BAD 😭😭😭😭
THE UPCOMING EPISODES ARE SUCH A TREAT GOODLUCK TO YOU <3
YES I ABSOLUTELY DID 😭😭 to make up for it I am going to go back and watch the parts I skipped so I may not get to eps 18-19 till tomorrow but 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 BUT LITERALLY ??????? HE WAS SO SMOOTH WITH IT AND THEN SHE WAS SO CONFUSED AND FLUSTERED AFTERWARDS LIKE "NO don't touch me...but actually that was kind of nice... NO WHAT AM I DOING" GSAUIHGGHUH AND THEN HE LOOKED SO HEARTBROKEN BUT SO IN LOVE AT THE SAME TIME AS SHE WAS LEAVING, BUT LITERALLY SAME I WAS SHRIEKING AND FLAPPING MY HANDS AT MY KITCHEN TABLE IN THE DARK AT LIKE. 4:30 IN THE MORNING EEEEEEEEEEEEEE BUT RAAHHGHJKHGJKHSG HE LITERALLY INVENTED THE WORD YEARNING HES JUST SO SICK WITH WANT I CANNOTTTTTTTTTT
BUT YESSSSSSSSSS AS SOON AS HE CAUGHT SIGHT OF HER HE GOT THE BIGGEST SMILE AND WAS JUST. SO AWESTRUCK/SOFT-EYED THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE DANCING AND THEN SHE STARTED SMILING A LITTLE TOO???? AND HE WAS JUST HOLDING HER SO CAREFULLY AND LOVINGLY AGHIRHTUHG IM GONNA BE SICKKKKKK BUT LITERALLY AGHJKHHF HE'S CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT HER NOW, like. when he said at one point "I can't save you from the rope next time" it was different than the other times he said it, it was full of so much anguish and fear bc the mere idea of her being taken from him is too much to bear and he's just desperately trying to keep her safeeeeeeeeeeee
same though, I would have folded the first time I saw him ngl
Everyone's weapon is different Lieutenant. Whatever you do, I will publish this article, and if need be, I will hand it out myself. Since you are so afraid of the world hearing about your tyranny, then why do you do it? Stop Hilal. Stop! I won't be able to save you from the rope again, don't you understand? I give you a last chance. And tell to that Halit Iqbal not to involve you in these things. Besides, when we find him, his punishment will be hard. You are searching in vain Lieutenant. Halit Iqbal is here, standing right in front of you."I count braver him who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies because the hardest victory is over one's self." said Aristotle. What a shame I'm defeated in this war, Hilal.
Hilal: I promise you, Leon, I promise. If you open your eyes, I'm ready for every word that will come out of your mouth, may it be for death or for love
Leon: I'm in the middle of a very deep sleep. If I wake up, when I open my eyes, I want to see your eyes that make every impossibility disappear. Any other way, if I have to wake up from a sleep that won't end with seeing your eyes, I wish to sleep forever.
I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually
Was talking to my friend about sydcarmy tattoos and we got into our usual analysis and it’s just so fascinating to me!
Months ago @yannaryartside made this great post about their tattoos and now I want to share some of my favorite thoughts and observations, because the costume and makeup departments didn’t just give them random shit, they designed two matching, contrasting sets of personal iconography.
I have to start with the absolute blueprint of their dynamic.
Carmy’s Pierced Hand: For a chef, the hands are everything!!! Creation, execution, control. Carmy has a knife plunging directly through his hand. It’s the ultimate symbol of self-inflicted sabotage of his own capability. He is one of the best chefs alive, yet he uses his talent as a weapon against himself. He cannot create without bleeding.
Sydney’s Pierced Heart: Syd’s wound isn't in her labor, it’s in her passion. Her shoulder features the Three of Swords tarot motif-a knife and swords piercing a heart. I assume that It represents the grief of a shattered dream from her past business failure. She leads with her heart, but she’s been burned badly.
Carmy hurts himself through what he does (the hand), and Sydney gets hurt through what she cares about (the heart). When Carmy metaphorically stabs himself in the hand (like locking himself in the walk-in or completely losing focus or leaving) the collateral damage plunges straight into Sydney's heart, killing their shared dream.
The part I’m absolutely obsessed with: the potential portrait of their relationships with food
Carmy’s "86'd" Fish: Shoutout to my cousin who works in a kitchen and confirmed this. During an intense rush, they’ll slash an "x" on a container's tape so someone who isn't too bright doesn't accidentally use the spoiled produce. Symbolically, that is so Carmy. He only cooks or tries food when it's a high-stress restaurant obligation. In his personal life we see him eat junk food over a trash can. Like, food is literally just a stressful production line of panic-management and survival for him at this point.
Syd’s Vintage Anchovies: Syd has the complete opposite, beautiful relationship with food. We always see her in and out of the restaurant being so chill, exploring, experimenting, and never afraid to just try new things. Anchovies are a very specific ingredient used to build deep flavor profiles from scratch.
Where Carmy views food as a checklist of potential disasters to control, Syd genuinely appreciates the raw, complex ingredients that make cooking a soulful, creative art.
They are both drowning in intense, crazy anxiety, but look at how their skin maps out their relationship with time and pressure:
Carmy literally has Sense of Urgency tattooed on his fingers, right alongside the dark irony of a snail forced to "Live Fast." As we know SOU is the ultimate «every second counts». Move faster, sleep less, never stop. Carmy has internalized this mechanical, frantic pace so deeply that he wears it on his hands. He operates at a destructive 100 km/h, even though the snail shows that his soul is desperately crying out to slow tf down.
Syd counters all of that relentless pressure with a cursive "C'est pas grave" ("It’s no big deal" / "It doesn't matter"). It’s the literal antithesis to a toxic Sense of Urgency. My girl is chill. That phrase is like her personal grounding tool-the quiet reminder she uses to force her brain to breathe and de-escalate the panic when the kitchen is actively burning down around her.
So, basically, it shows how Carmy leans into the panic that is killing him, while Sydney actively tries to fight it off.
So, to me, these next two show exactly what anchors them to their pasts and the baggage they carry:
With “773" Carmy carries a loud, systemic obligation to a place. Reality of the South/West sides of Chicago and the heavy legacy of the Berzatto family name. His identity is entirely wrapped up in proving himself to his brother, hometown and the ghost of the family restaurant.
Sydney carries a quiet, private grief for a person. Her Volvo tattoo has a license plate that literally reads "MOM." It’s a devastatingly tender piece of nostalgia, the ultimate symbol of family safety and maternal care that she lost way too soon.
Finally, look at how they view their luck, risk, and life in general:
Carmy has the Grim Reaper shaking hands with a liquor bottle. It’s about as dark as it fuckin’ gets lol. It's just total acceptance of self-destruction. He knows his toxic coping mechanisms are walking him straight to an early grave, but he shakes hands with the reaper anyway. (Also might be a nice homage to his mamma)
Syd has a delicate little wishbone. It's a classic symbol of hope, luck, and wishing for the future. But a wishbone only works if you take a gamble and risk breaking it in half to get what you want. It proves that despite her trauma, Syd is still willing to take a massive leap of faith on her dreams, even if it hurts.
Can’t help but thing about this caption by the makeup artist:
hi, hello. I'm currently procrastinating. ♡ @hereforthebrainrot - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
