Sydney and Carmy are something else.
Never noticed this until recently but from a recent rewatch of 2x10 I realized that there is reason to believe that Carmy's fixation on always being in shouting distance of Sydney might not just be a one-way street.
My close personal friend from the television and the internet Chef Sara Bradley recently explained "all day" and "on fire" and "counts" excellently on her Instagram. In the first few minutes of 2x10, we mostly watch Sydney do a very smooth and controlled expo of the dishes. Carmy is right over her shoulder and they touch base on a couple of things but mostly she appears to be totally in control. But if you listen closely, in the distance, Marcus is straight up not having a good time.
"Chef, I need a count on cannoli."
"How many cannolis all day chef?" [she kind of answers that there are six coming up on a ticket]
"Chef Syd, cannolis, can I get an all day?"
As far as I can tell she never really answers him, even when he addresses her as "Chef Syd," which should get her attention and remind her that she's chef as much as Carmy. There's just dead air between her and Marcus.
Then we visit the dining room and then we're back in the kitchen. Marcus yells something about caviar bowls that I can't quite hear. Syd is a little stressed. Tina tells them Josh is missing. Carmy summons Marcus to help Syd. She's a little awkward being in such close proximity to him. He tells her "you've been weird with me all day," and she denies it, "Everything has been fine."
I believe her. Sydney wasn't ignoring Marcus. She wasn't shutting him out or punishing him for asking her out. She wouldn't do that, for one thing. She literally can't hear Marcus. Why? Because she's only listening for one voice in that entire kitchen. Carmy. She's functionally deaf to everyone else. The expo station is at this stage facing away from the work stations so she can't see him either. (Richie fixes this when he comes in later.)
We've seen ample evidence that Carmy needs to know that Sydney (and to a lesser extent Richie) is in shouting distance or he gets disregulated and fast. But this is the other side of the duo: She's regulating herself off of him. He's calm so she's calm. When she gets anxious and he tells her she's OK, and she appears to believe him for literally no reason except trust and then because she believes him, she becomes OK.
When she's insecure, Carmy manages to reassure her in a way that's, for her, effective. I frankly think we see this again in "Goodbye." When he tells her she smokes Adam Shapiro, and she knee-jerk rejects that as him almost mocking her, he immediately recognizes her insecurity and unfurls a detailed list of her skills as a chef and restauranteur and person. She's going to feast on that speech for the rest of her life. Literal food for the soul.
All of which puts the fridge lock-in in a new but even wilder light. We tend to view him screaming and thrashing frantically as a self-centered action, because he thinks he needs to be there or the kitchen will fail. Sure, in part, but also, maybe when he's begging Marcus to get Syd and yelling for her specifically over and over, it's not (entirely) about him needing her to self-soothe. Maybe he knows on some level that his presence anchors her and he's trying to communicate through the steel and insulation that she is OK and will be OK and this is gonna be fine.
And then who comes sailing to the rescue? The foster brother who always seems to steal his thunder and/or fill in the gaps in his family when he's away for whatever reason. Richie is not Carmy, but Richie still finds a way to provide Carmy-like love and service to Sydney and the rest of Carmy's family.
So that's Friends & Family.
What does this reveal about season 3? I've written about this before, but I think there's a decent chance that Sydney is consistently lonely and at sea in season 3 because of "bad communication," but it's not just FOH/BOH. I think when Carm represses his feelings for the family and shuts himself off from connection, he's not the only one who immediately suffers. Sydney feels his absence. It's like waking up in the backseat of a car, and at first you don't know where you are, or waking up in bed in a hotel and your partner is already out of the room down at breakfast or loading the car. There's a state of confusion where she's not just lonely in her own right but she's also consistently distressed by the absence of Carmy. I think in season 3 her psyche keeps reaching out for him and finding that the space where he's supposed to be is empty and all the doors are locked.
Sydney loves everybody in that kitchen but Carmy and Carmy alone is her anchor and a source of confidence she struggles to find when she's alone.
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