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girl with camcorder herjourne.blog

[herjourne]

i hope all the horrors of my past, all my wrong decisions both intentional and not, are things i always remember so i can continue helping myself become better instead of using them as reasons to beat myself up.

i hope i keep growing and not the other way around. i hope i make more sound decisions, become a little less hypocritical every day, and learn to take accountability without carrying shame for the rest of my life.

i hope everything i do ultimately helps me become a genuinely good person (not just nice), someone with integrity, a regulated nervous system, and a healthy relationship with their emotions.

i hope i become wiser without becoming cynical, softer without becoming naive, more self-aware without turning every mistake into a life sentence, and carry the lesson forward before life has to teach it to me again.

most of all, i hope i never stop being willing to change.

[herjourne]

i have reason to believe that my boyfriend and i had a spiritual encounter on the taxi ride home tonight, and it was beautiful. sometimes talaga the universe has its own way of pulling you back when you need it most, no?

[herjourne]

me from the beau’s pov haha

[herjourne]

there are always clues when t’s around

[herjourne]

asked t which game of thrones character reminds him most of me and he said margaery tyrell. i am absolutely taking this as a compliment.

[herjourne]

[herjourne]

these look so unreal

[herjourne]

i had an incredibly productive weekend!!!

[slickathanmost]

[herjourne]

i will never forgive ai for destroying the em dash’s reputation

[allforthewind]

Card for Adalita April 2026

[herjourne]

this is a reminder to future me who will inevitably rewatch the office: stop as soon as michael scott gets on that plane and moves on with his life with holly because what the fuck are seasons 8 and 9

[herjourne]

you know what, i don't do the whole "let me do this today so i don't have to worry about it tomorrow" thing at work anymore. after six years of working i've realized it doesn't really free up my time. i just end up trading my personal time for work hours thinking it'll make the next day "easier" but tomorrow just becomes today, and let's be honest - does it really help? yeah. don't think so.

[herjourne]

my boss has a podcast and has asked me to be a guest about five times now. i've declined every single time because i genuinely cannot handle that level of exposure, but on the other hand i'm really grateful that he trusts me enough to even ask. the fact that he thinks i could contribute something valuable to the conversation means a lot to me.

for context, we work with a lot of luxury companies (think rolls-royce, lamborghini, google, tiger woods, etc. - these clients are publicly listed on our website) and i don't think i'll ever feel ready to be in that space, let alone be a guest on his podcast which is honestly a me problem. i'm being presented with an opportunity but a part of me keeps shrinking away from it. maybe because i think too little of myself or i don't feel "worthy" of being there even though i've proven myself time and time again or maybe it's simply because i don't like being in the spotlight...? i don't know (btw we don't just do podcast, we're a media production company, may podcast lang talaga siya haha)

all of this reminds me of when i was active on tiktok a year ago. not to brag, but i had a pretty good follower-engagement ratio. my follower count wasn't even that big but my videos generally did well. pero every time a video got more traction than i expected, i would get soooooo anxious, sometimes anxious enough to take it down. eventually i made all my videos private and disappeared from the app entirely. maybe this has something to do with the fear of being perceived which is funny because younger me would've eaten all that attention up. recently lang din naman ako nag-start mag shy away from it eh.

also naalala ko yung sinabi sa akin ni ate faye before na iniyakan ko ng mga 10 mins tapos hanggang ngayon nagsspeak pa rin to me. kaya mas lalo kong nararamdaman yung guilt haha. but idk siguro maybe not now but someday? lagi ko sinasabi sa sarili ko i have all the time in the world naman if i ever decide to shift anything in my life. life always surprises me naman.

anyway, going back to the story - my boss has resorted to giving me a shoutout in (almost) every episode instead which i 100% appreciate of course!! but i don't think being a guest in his podcast is something i'll be taking on anytime soon. siguro kapag pinatira niya ako sa california, why not? hahahaha charot ayaw ko rin naman mag-settle down sa america

[herjourne]

a few updates!!

still haven’t moved anything around yet because kuya maintenance has been on leave for a week and no one can help us move the heavier stuff and we can’t just drill holes on the walls but that’s fine, i’m using the extra time to collect more ideas for changes :)

my curls are slowly coming back and i’m so happy about it!! i’ve done quite a number on my hair over the years - was addicted to bleaching / dyeing, and eventually paid the price. this year i plan to let it grow + regularly trim off the dyed parts so i can start fresh with my natural hair color. ngl i don’t feel as confident without dyed hair but i’d rather have healthy hair than anything else rn. also my hair has always been on the thinner side (shoutout to my mom and dad for that!) it just wasn’t as obvious before because of the volume and curls. once all the damage caught up to me it started looking flat and unflattering, but i’ve been following a different hair care routine lately and looks like it’s working!! i also have PMOS which definitely doesn’t help the situation but we’re seeing progress!!

i might have created the most beautiful cup of matcha, just look at that perfectly even split between the matcha and milk!!! i bought sprinkles to put on top but it got delivered after i had already devoured the entire cup. that’s fine though we’ll try again tomorrow <3 (or later if i decide i need a second matcha of the day)

[herjourne]

you ever see a woman and be like……..GENUINELY how are you so beautiful. you are UNREAL

[theweight]

can i say i dont give a fuck if anyone is 'performative reading' bc like at least they are reading at all. people are reading less and less so idrc if someone is reading to cultivate a certain image or whatever the fuck performative reading means

[herjourne]

puro kasi performative this, performative that! have we forgotten that all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players? life is meant to be performed. romanticized. lived. we perform when we get dressed in the morning, when we host dinner parties, when we decorate our homes, when we celebrate birthdays, when we tell stories, when we fall in love. performance isn't automatically the opposite of authenticity. it can exist alongside it. you can't live without performing. even when no one's watching, you're still performing for yourself.