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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@heroicvision
you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch
there is no moving on. only running away.
the haunting of hill house sentence meme.
episode 4 - 6
they never believe me.
you believe me, don’t you?
when i was a kid, my brother taught me how to spot faces in clouds.
and i mean… that fucked me up pretty bad.
it’s normal for kids to have imaginary friends and nightmares.
we could have a heck of a yard sale.
big boys know the difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary.
that one doesn’t exactly keep me up at night.
i know we’re all going to have a lot of feelings about that.
we’re not in a relationship.
how the fuck do you expect people to get through this without friends?
i just wanted to make sure you were okay.
i’m gonna fix this.there are moments you kind of remind me of her.
the only other person that believed in me like that was you.
nothing left to do except maybe fill this place up with kids.
i mean, you know the definition of insanity. doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
when we decide to get clean, it’s not because we expect it to be fucking exciting, you know?
you ever seen someone in withdrawal?
just because you care about someone, it doesn’t mean they won’t burn you.
thirty days clean so you can make me feel like shit again.
it’s taken me ten years to get ninety days clean.
i’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but “fearless” is not one of them.
i was always a scared little kid, and i thought i’d get braver as i got older, but i didn’t.
any addict alone is in bad company.
listen, i know i fucked up.
please, please let me come back.
they say she’s a nightmare, but she’s real.
if she comes back, you come find us, okay?
i was planning on waiting until the end of your visit to ask you out for coffee.
i’m gonna have to get used to that, but i like it.
it’s perfectly normal to want to find something to blame.
don’t worry. i don’t expect you to believe me.
i’m not supposed to have things that are fragile.
use your cup of stars. insist on your cup of stars.
can we have a tea party?
i’ve been having a hard time sleeping in that house without him.
i need to get well before i go in.
it’s just you and me. that’s it.
i always believed in you, you know that?
we all just need a little help sometimes, right?
that is not the way you help an addict.
i am feeling serious fucking concern.
i thought we might get drunk and fucking cry.
you look worse than you did four months ago.
he’s not exactly impressing me and i know what the fuck i’m talking about.
i’ve got your back, but i also have my limits.
you never cared about anyone more than yourself, and that’s sad.
my family is just like any other family; we don’t always agree on everything.
you’re supposed to protect me, but you say the meanest things to me when i try to tell you.
you don’t come in here and embarrass me like that.
are you off your meds?
you don’t get to just start smashing up our lives because you’re transitioning into a new treatment.
this was not the time or place.
the problem is that you haven’t confronted your past.
how can a house, just a collection of bricks, wood, and glass, have that much power over people?
i don’t know what i saw.
you should get some sleep. you’ve had a rough night.
it’s just a carcass in the woods.
we were going to have a tea party.
we always knew. we always believed you.
i’m so sorry that we fought.
it’s time to wake up, sweetheart.
in movies, they always say that they look like they’re sleeping. she doesn’t look like she’s sleeping. she looks dead.
you did a really good job as usual.
you might want to slow down. it’s going to be a long night.
please. don’t fuck this up.
she was always trying to get all of us together in one place. someone should’ve told her she didn’t have to try this hard.
still not a hugger?
if it’s all the same to you, maybe we can save this conversation for a little later.
if you were married, you’d know that sometimes people need a little room.
i’m drinking every time i feel like punching something.
it’s not like we were really talking each other’s ears off before that.
this is his coping mechanism. he turns into a waiter.
you weren’t in bed. where’d you go?
i had the strangest dream.
you guys hear a scary noise?
but you know what storms do? they pass.
stay down here and stay away from the windows.
you wearing those gloves to bed now?
they’re not here to hurt us.
it’s okay, we’re totally safe.
this house has been here for a long, long time. it’s seen plenty of storms and worse than this.
i was holding her hand the entire time.
i know you’re scared.
i won’t let anything happen to her. to any of you guys.
all words are made up at first.
i know those stories ‘cause i was there for those stories.
i’m trying to drink her back to life. would you like me to stop?
you know some religions won’t let you be buried in their cemeteries if you kill yourself?
she knew the price the rest of us pay when someone does that, and she did it anyway.
i don’t know why she didn’t feel like she could talk to me.
there’s nothing she was going through that wouldn’t have been okay.
we’re all aware of how you like to hold back information.
we’ve all got questions and i think it’d be swell if you gave us a few answers for a change.
any psychiatrist worth their shit would’ve kept her on a much shorter leash.
she wasn’t worried about herself, she was apparently worried about you.
why do i need protection from the truth?
you’re entitled to your anger.
it’s very generous of you to allow me to feel my anger.
what else am i entitled to while you’re being so fucking generous?
you might want to check yourself before you start talking about the truth.
she’s drunk. i’m just pissed.
you took all that paranoia and craziness and you mass-marketed it.
you were happy enough to exploit all of us for some blood money.
you don’t know what i felt. and you don’t know what i feel. and i am allowed to process that any way i want to.
don’t touch me!
i have enough of my own grief. i don’t need yours too.
you’d have to be a real stubborn bitch not to, so.
you don’t get to lie to me, and live off me at the same time.
if i were you, i’d get off that high horse before i fall off.
if you were me, you wouldn’t be such a fucking asshole.
do you have any idea how much you’ve humiliated me?
i can’t look at either one of you right now.
i need some more vodka.
you think this is cute?
i don’t know why she’d go anywhere else by herself.
i don’t want to upset anyone any more than we’re already upset.
anything i did, i did it for a very good reason.
i was screaming and shouting and none of you could see me!
don’t do that ever again.
i’ll never let you go again. i promise.
SENTENCE MEME ⟶ HOZIER / WASTELAND, BABY! always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“The fear of fellow man is mere assignment.”
“The same kind of music haunts her bedroom.”
“I’m almost me again, and she’s almost you.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Don’t ruin this on me.”
“Tell me who, and I’ll thank them for it.”
“I laugh like me again, and she laughs like you.”
“I still watch you when you’re grooving.”
“As if through water from the bottom of pool, you’re moving without moving.”
“You are a call to motion.”
“I could never define all that you are to me.”
“You are the rite of movement.”
“I can recall something that’s gone from me.”
“I’m put in awe of something so flawed and free.”
“Move me, like you’ve nothing left to prove and nothing to lose.”
“You’re an odd sight come out at night.”
“What a waste to say the heart could feel apart or feel complete.”
“It’s the screaming, heaving fuckery of the world.”
“All things come from nothing.”
“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand.”
“The harder the rain, the sweeter the sun.”
“I’ll be your man if you’ve got love to get done.”
“There will be darkness again.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“I shouldn’t hope to know, but here I stand.”
“It’s gin o’clock.”
“I think about you everywhere I go.”
“I’ve had no love like your love.”
“I’d be appalled if I ever saw you try to be a saint.”
“I wouldn’t fall for someone I thought couldn’t misbehave.”
“Why should we deny the truth?”
“We could have less to worry about.”
“I won’t lie to you.”
“Remember when you’d sing, just for the fuck of it?”
“The look of it was as sweet as the sound.”
“You put your emptiness to melody.”
“My heart is screaming.”
“Whatever here is left of me is yours.”
“Your love was unmoved.”
“Make your good love known to me, or just tell me about your day.”
“The nights were as dark as my baby, and half as beautiful too.”
“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted.”
“I couldn’t whisper when you needed it, and I shouted.”
“Remember me, when I’m reborn as the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn.”
“All of my goodness is going with you now.”
“I’m flying like a bird to you now.”
“I was housed by your warmth.”
“I was transformed by your grounded and giving.”
“I’d be the choiceless hope in grief.”
“Imagine being loved by me.”
“I’ve got in my mind now, all the things I would do.”
“I’ll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I’m imagining you.”
“I’d be the last shred of truth in the myth of true love.”
“Be as you’ve always been.”
“Be the love that discovered the sin that freed the first man.”
“Be love in its disrepute.”
“I’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight.”
“This is the kind of love I’ve been dreaming of.”
“Let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised.”
“Let there be damage ensues and tabloid news.”
“You’re good to me, baby.”
“With the roar of the fire, my heart rose to its feet.”
“It settles soft and as pure as snow.”
“I feel in love with the fire long ago.”
“With each love I cut loose, I was never the same.”
“Your love is sunlight.”
“The tale is the same, told before and told again.”
“All that was shown to me was something foreknown to me.”
“Each day you rise to me, know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty.”
“All the fear and fire of the end of the world happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl.”
“Wasteland, baby, I’m in love with you.”
“Be still, my undelible friend, you are unbreaking.”
“I love, too, a love that soon might end.”
“It’s the start of all things that are left to do.”
PREGNANCY POINT OF VIEW SENTENCE STARTERS.
the mother’s pov :
❝Do you want to feel the baby kick?❞ ❝I’m eating for two, so let’s go grab some grub.❞ ❝I’m… pregnant… and it’s yours.❞ ❝We need to talk, I need to tell you something..❞ ❝I’m too far along for an abortion.❞ ❝You want to give our baby up for adoption?❞ ❝I need to know… if you love me, if you love us..❞ ❝I thought you would be happy… it’s our baby.❞ ❝It’s your baby I’m carrying…❞ ❝I want to tell you that’s it’s yours but it’s not…❞ ❝I want to find out the gender with you there.❞ ❝I’m so lucky to have you by side during this pregnancy.❞ ❝I wouldn’t want anyone else by side during this pregnancy.❞ ❝Do you feel that? It’s the baby… it’s kicking.❞ ❝I’m not going to be surrounded in a place were my baby isn’t wanted.❞ ❝How could say that? This is our child to be!❞ ❝I’m pregnant, I can’t act like a child anymore.❞ ❝I’m pregnant, not incapable.❞ ❝I’m sorry you’ve had deal with my pregnancy hormones lately…❞ ❝I just wanted to wait to tell you, I wanted to know for sure I was keeping it.❞ ❝I’m not sure what to do anymore but it is your baby…❞ ❝This is just as much as your baby as it is mine.❞ ❝I’m not lying! We can do a test right now!❞ ❝Why are you blaming me? We at both at fault! It’s not the baby’s fault!❞ ❝I’m not going to be around people like you, who don’t support me.❞ ❝I am keeping this baby and I’m not discussing it anymore.❞ ❝People have told me I’m glowing lately and I know why…❞ ❝I’m ready to be mom! More than what you think!❞ ❝I will be a great mother to my child, unlike you!❞ ❝This is my decision! Not yours!❞ ❝You told me you wanted the baby and now you don’t?❞ ❝Why are suddenly against having this baby with me?❞
the father’s pov :
❝How far along are you? When did you find out?❞ ❝Well, that’s great news! Isn’t it? I think so.❞ ❝Wait, are you telling me, its my baby?❞ ❝Well, how do you know its my baby?❞ ❝You’re carrying my child?! That’s great news!❞ ❝I love you and I’m ready to be a parent with you.❞ ❝I wouldn’t want a baby with anyone else other than you.❞ ❝How long have you known? Have you told anyone else yet?❞ ❝Well, I’ll get a job and help support you and our baby.❞ ❝Hey… don’t worry so much, okay? We can raise it.❞ ❝It’s going to be okay, we can do this.❞ ❝I have the perfect plan for you, me and our baby… a good plan.❞ ❝I was thinking… since you’re pregnant and all, would you marry me?❞ ❝I love you so much, that’s great news after the day I had.❞ ❝As long as we’re happy, as long as the baby is happy.❞ ❝I’m not abandoning you or my baby!❞ ❝I’m not walking out on my kid like my parents did.❞ ❝I’m going to be here for you and our baby.❞ ❝Why would you want that for our baby? You’re talking nonsense.❞ ❝I’m ready to be a father and you’ll make the best mother.❞ ❝I have never felt so lucky!❞ ❝This baby is a blessing and probably saved my life.❞ ❝Did you hear? I’m going to be a dad!❞ ❝I’m going to officially be a dad in a few months!❞ ❝I’ll be a much better dad than you ever were to me that’s for sure.❞ ❝My girlfriend is pregnant and she’s keeping it and I want her to keep it.❞ ❝Don’t tell me anything about being a dad when you never were one for me!❞ ❝Are you serious?! You’re pregnant?! That’s amazing, baby!❞ ❝Well, do you need anything? Anything at all?❞ ❝What? Something wrong with the baby?❞ ❝I just want to keep you and our babt safe and happy.❞ ❝I’m the luckiest guy in the world right now!❞
@xbeastdude because I added Tara over here so have some post midseason finale shit
❛ o-oh! artemis did not tell me to expect visitors today. you’re-- oh my god, you’re TORK! ❜
.ﾟ☆ﾟ. ╼ pick up line meme.
Feel free to change pronouns as needed !!
❛ Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one. ❜ ❛ Your hand looks heavy can i hold it for you? ❛ Do you know if there are any police around? Cause I’m about to steal your heart. ❜ ❛ Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me! ❜ ❛ Do you like my sweater? Its boyfriend material. ❜ ❛ Can I borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it back. ❜ ❛ Do you come with coffee and cream because you are my sugar. ❜ ❛ I think you’re an alien. You just abducted my heart. ❜ ❛ Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you. ❜ ❛ If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand. ❜ ❛ Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling. ❜ ❛ You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind. ❜ ❛ There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it. ❜ ❛ You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room. ❜ ❛ Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. ❜ ❛ Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet. ❜ ❛ Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. ❜ ❛ Can I hit you in the face… with my lips? ❜ ❛ If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, I’d have the sky in the palm of my hand. ❜ ❛ When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part. ❜ ❛ Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you. ❜ ❛ You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not. ❜ ❛ Baby you make palms sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti. ❜ ❛ You know what you’d look really beautiful in? My arms. ❜ ❛ See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart. ❜ ❛ May I flirt with you? ❜ ❛ It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me! ❜ ❛ Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next boyfriend. ❜ ❛ I can’t stop looking at how gorgeous you are… If I kiss you will I get slapped? ❜ ❛ I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art. ❜ ❛ Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven? ❜ ❛ Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte. ❜ ❛ There is something wrong with my phone. Could you call it for me to see if it rings? ❜ ❛ Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? ❜
for @technophiiliac because i’m on a feels trip roll tonight
❛ you know, every day i don’t murder a pta mom is a damn MIRACLE. ❜
hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof
* — — VERY SERIOUS RIP VINE SENTENCE STARTERS
‘ when will you learn? when will you learn that your actionS HAVE CONSEQUENCES! ’ ‘ can i get a waffle??? can i PLEASE get a waffle!!! ’ ‘ go suck a dick, suck a dick suck a motherfucking dick ’ ‘ you better stop! biTCH STOP ’ ‘ do you ever like wake up and do something and you’re just like what the hec– fuck is goin on ’ ‘ what’s good, brah you don’t know me! you don’t– WHAT IS GOOD! YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! ’ ‘ it’s summer i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party ’ ‘ anyone ever tell you you look like beyonce? ’ ‘ I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN’T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH ’ ‘ BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH, I TELL YOU THAT ’ ‘ and they were roommates! ’ ‘ oh my god, they were roommates ’ ‘ oh my god, i love chipotle chipotle is my liiiiife ’ ‘ this bitch empty YEET!!!! ’ ‘ WHERE ARE THOOOOOSE ’ ‘ THEY ARE MY CROCS ’ ‘ bitch disgusting ’ ‘ yeaaah. yeAAAAAH. ’ ‘ so no head? ’ ‘ THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU! ’ ‘ i’ll kill you. i’ll kill you. i’m not even worried about it. ’ ‘ ahh, fuck. i can’t believe you’ve done this ’ ‘ aHH STOP! i could’ve dropped my croissant! ’ ‘ what’s up me and my boys are going to see uncle kracker ’ ‘ give me my hat back, jordan! ’ ‘ do you wanna go see uncle kracker or no!? ’ ‘ i sneezed! oh, i’m not allowed to sneeze?! ’ ‘ look at all those chickens ’ ‘ i smell like beef ’ ‘ i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room ’ ‘ actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere. i have hemorrhoids. ’ ‘ is there anything better than pussy? yes! a really good book ’ ‘ mom, i’m peein on myself ’ ‘ sorry, i’m on the toilet. i hope the ice cream don’t melt, bitch ’ ‘ honestly i don’t remember, i was probably fucked up. yeah, i was crazy back then ’ ‘ I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH! ’ ‘ just shut up and die slowly, okay? ’ ‘ two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay! ’ ‘ mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick! ’ ‘ i said WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER, YOUR MOMS A HO ’ ‘ you remember one time i liked you? GOOD! cause it never happened ’ ‘ if your name is junior and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hand ’ ‘ i’M WASHIN ME AND MY CLOTHES, BITCH! I’M WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES ’ ‘ waddup i’m jared, i’m nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read ’ ‘ whAT THE FUCK IS UP, KYLE? NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE ’ ‘ oh my god why can’t you just take the fricken compliMENT ’ ‘ is that a wEED? i’m callin the police!!! ’ ‘ yo, drink this vodka down the hatch c’mon ’ ‘ it is wednesday, my dudes. aaaaAAAAAAH ’ ‘ there is only one thing worst than a rapist… a child! ’ ‘ get to del taco, they got a new thing called fre shavocado ’ ‘ *to the tune of ghostbusters* i’m an adult virgin ’ ‘ hi my name is tre, i have a basketball game tomorrooooow ’ ‘ babeyou’reafuckingbitchiwantyoutogetthefuckoutofmycarcauseiwannabreakupwithyou i fucking hate you ’ ‘ todays forecast we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. FUCKED. UP. ’ ‘ whAT’S UP FUCKERS ’ ‘ FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY ’ ‘ he needs some milk! ’ ‘ you are my dad. YOU’RE MY DAD! boogie woogie woogie ’ ‘ yEAH NO SHIT, HONEY ’ ‘ oooooh my boy going to prom. fuck it up! fuck it up! fuck it up! ’ ‘ hey, how you doin? i’m doing just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside ’ ‘ honey, you got a big storm comin ’ ‘ i wanna fucking DIE ’ ‘ road work ahead? uh yeah i sure hope it does ’ ‘ the yo-yo master did not answer, he just kept on yo-ing ’ ‘ welcome back to me screaming ’ ‘ you know sometimes i think to myself what are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuuuuuuck! ’ ‘ do you ever shut the fuck up? ’
obscenely domestic starter sentences
❝ Stop man-handling the ice cream! ❞ ❝ Change the channel and I’ll kill you. ❞ ❝ You actual shit, you started without me!? ❞ ❝ Since I’m up, by default I will get your _____. ❞ ❝ Did you just throw a sock ball at me!? ❞ ❝ How about this, how about you fight the rest of the cereal by yourself and I’ll courageously make pancakes for those of us who want a little warmth in our mornings. ❞ ❝ Whiskey is a breakfast staple, anyone who says otherwise is fucking lying. ❞ ❝ My underwear are now bright pink because of you, thank you very much. ❞ ❝ Can you stop kicking me? ❞ ❝ I don’t go shopping I get and retrieve. I have a narrow focus, unlike some people. ❞ ❝ Did you walk the dog? ❞ ❝ You, me, PJ’s, pizza, bed. The PJ’s are optional. ❞ ❝ Only you could make the idea of beating up already dead meat sound attractive. ❞ ❝ I can feel you staring at me, why don’t you just come in? ❞ ❝ Good news; we have internet again! ❞ ❝ I don’t want to file taxes, why don’t you be the adult? ❞ ❝ You snuggling me over an open flame is an invitation for my nipples to disappear. ❞ ❝ I know you’re scared of my mother but contemplating arson isn’t the way to fix this. ❞ ❝ I installed a stripper pole while you were gone because it made me think of you. ❞ ❝ All I was doing was helping the barista learn to spell my name properly. The song and dance should NOT have gotten you that embarrassed. ❞ ❝ How about we just never mention this again? ❞ ❝ Have you seen my earrings/necklace/rings? ❞ ❝ You are literally the child we both want/neither of us want. ❞ ❝ Did you call the doctor about that? ❞ ❝ Let me pop it, just let me pop it, nothing bad will happen, I swear! ❞ ❝ You almost left me at the gas station! ❞ ❝ Alright look! Next time you want to barbecue with the hair dryer, just make sure I’m home! ❞ ❝ I didn’t think the sink had this much water inside of it. ❞ ❝ Don’t be mad, but _____. ❞
Bonus for multi-lingual situations: ❝ Can you translate the news for me? None of this makes sense. ❞ ❝ What is the word for this? *points at ____* I keep wanting to say ‘printer’ but I feel that is wrong. ❞ ❝ Next time she calls you a ____ you just reply with _____. ❞ ❝ I’m sorry but my pronunciation must sound really bad to you. ❞ ❝ Shit! The government doesn’t have my alphabet, put this in a way I understand! ❞ ❝ Can you finger spell that for me, I’m not quite up to that level yet. ❞ ❝ That was said so horribly wrong but you sounded very cute while trying. A for effort. ❞
“Even covered in snow the gardens are beautiful.”
“It’s so cold, but I need a breath of fresh air.”
“Come on, A bit of dancing will warm you right up.”
“I think there is a couple occupying the coat closet…”
“That’s the good thing about winter, the gardens are always quiet.”
“Even the roses are frozen.”
“Think of it this way, the champagne is always chilled.”
“Did they just forget to heat the dance hall, or were they expecting us to wear our coats all night?”
“Your hands are freezing!”
“I’d imagine even with layers, skirts are highly impractical in the snow.”
“Is this a Christmas party or…?”
“This is fun and all, but We’re going to be snowed in at this rate.”
“They are giving Sleigh rides in the garden.”
“They caught me making snow angels and now they think I’m drunk…”
“The dancefloor is crowded, let’s go for a walk.”
“Why are you out in the cold?”
“Really? Are you really going to throw snowballs?”
“Don’t you dare! These are my best clothes!”
“I’m not going out there. I dressed for fashion, not practicality.”
“Merry Christmas.”
“People are giving gifts? I didn’t know we were giving gifts!”
“I didn’t know when I would see you next, so here.”
“Dancing in the snow seems romantic in theory, but treacherous in practice.”
“Look at all the couples using the cold as an excuse to cuddle. It’s gross.”
“Everything is silver and glittering.”
“From out here the lights in the windows seem so warm and inviting.”
“So you’d rather be out here getting frostbite than inside dancing and enjoying yourself?”
“Why am I here? You know I hate these things.”
“Booze and ice, what a good combination.”
“I stood under that mistletoe for 30 minutes hoping for some Christmas romance before giving up.”
“Oh sure, when I stand under the mistletoe nothing, but in the last five minutes about ten couples walked through.”
“I twisted my ankle on the icy steps, so now I can’t even dance.”
“We could always slip away, and slide in close to get warm.”
“Maybe you should warm your hands before asking anything to dance…”
“Look, it’s mistletoe.”
“You kiss them under the mistletoe, but you just laughed in my face.”
“It’s not a really a party until someone is stark naked passed out in the snow.”
.ﾟ☆ﾟ. ╼ pick up line meme.
Feel free to change pronouns as needed !!
❛ Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one. ❜ ❛ Your hand looks heavy can i hold it for you? ❛ Do you know if there are any police around? Cause I’m about to steal your heart. ❜ ❛ Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me! ❜ ❛ Do you like my sweater? Its boyfriend material. ❜ ❛ Can I borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it back. ❜ ❛ Do you come with coffee and cream because you are my sugar. ❜ ❛ I think you’re an alien. You just abducted my heart. ❜ ❛ Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you. ❜ ❛ If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand. ❜ ❛ Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling. ❜ ❛ You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind. ❜ ❛ There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it. ❜ ❛ You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room. ❜ ❛ Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. ❜ ❛ Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet. ❜ ❛ Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. ❜ ❛ Can I hit you in the face… with my lips? ❜ ❛ If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, I’d have the sky in the palm of my hand. ❜ ❛ When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part. ❜ ❛ Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you. ❜ ❛ You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not. ❜ ❛ Baby you make palms sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti. ❜ ❛ You know what you’d look really beautiful in? My arms. ❜ ❛ See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart. ❜ ❛ May I flirt with you? ❜ ❛ It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me! ❜ ❛ Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next boyfriend. ❜ ❛ I can’t stop looking at how gorgeous you are… If I kiss you will I get slapped? ❜ ❛ I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art. ❜ ❛ Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven? ❜ ❛ Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte. ❜ ❛ There is something wrong with my phone. Could you call it for me to see if it rings? ❜ ❛ Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? ❜
"retelling greek myths” sentence starters
I figured some of the stuff I ended up saying while retelling myths was… intresting enough.
“I don’t think I can trust someone who thinks that a rock looks like their son.”
“They got hit by a rock, but that’s okay. It had to be someone”
“THIS BITCH UGLY, YEET!”
“I assume fighting a snake isn’t as hard as you make it out to be. It’s not like they have the hands to throw punches.”
“Damn, that was some poetic shit.”
“No boy will try to date you with a face like that.”
“I’ll pull out your ear hair if you keep talking to me like that.”
“This god… is a baby.”
“Look, I’m all here for self-expression, but you can’t just walk in here with your tiddies hanging out.”
“The problem is this: He punched some rocks, but when he was done with that he started to kill things.”
“He killed a bunch of stuff and decided he was ready to kill a god.”
“Yeah, Poseidon would hang out in the ocean a lot. Probably because he was the god of the ocean.”
“Shut up. I watched The Little Mermaid. I know all about Poseidon.”
“She looks like a horse.”
“I’m pretty sure that twelve year old is on fire.”
“You probably shouldn’t insult a god’s dick, even if it is very small.”
“Yes, I am the ugly bitch.”
“Bitch, not my twink ass.”
“Furries and twinks have a very similar but shallow dating pool.”
“I can infer from your wide variety of plant ex-lovers that you go to the forest a lot to masturbate and cry.”
“And now on to my favorite Greek myth: Percy Jackson.”
“Like all great heroes, he came from a pussy.”
“I think this calls for a story. It goes like this: Since the beginning of time, the gods liked messing everything up.”
“They threw a temper tantrum, so I sent my kid away to live alone in the mountains.”
“When your husbands cheats on you that much, you should consider marriage counseling. Killing the mistress isn’t proper therapy.”
“I’m coming to learn that only hanging out with ghosts has it’s side effects.”
“Whenever there are Zodiacs, Ted Cruz is sure to follow.”
“If Percy Jackson has taught me anything, it’s that the gods kind of suck.”
“Does Olympus have an Olive Garden?”
With great power comes great bullshit.
It’s me, ya boi, Eliza. Too lazy to keep up with any more blogs, and too lazy to make this anything other than a side blog. Mostly Marvel muses. Semi-selective. Muse page still under construction, so in the mean time any questions about me or my muses can be directed to me here.
