[cinnamonsugarnspice]

My life improved so much when I started forcing myself to do things: forcing myself to exercise, to cook from scratch; forcing myself to go to the movies or to museums alone, to wear that really cute outfit just to run errands; forcing myself to read a book, to strike up a conversation with a stranger, to ask for a raise.

Once you begin forcing yourself to do the things that you had been too scared or too lazy to do, you feel a sense of accomplishment that gives you momentum to do even more. It gets easier to get out of your comfort zone & to do hard things.

[hersanctuary]

Thanks for the cherry archive

you’re welcome! just noticed that I haven’t done it all the way and that she is gone now :/

[hersanctuary]

Instead of shaming myself into productivity and discpline, I‘ve decided to love myself into it. The reasoning for me doing things will from now on always be: „I love myself and I deserve to reap the rewards of this action (and I love myself too much to deal with the disappointment that comes with not keeping my own promises.)

[barbienefertiti]

How long will you lie down, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? "A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest"—Your poverty will come in like a vagabond And your need like an armed man - Proverbs 6:9-11

So this verse reminds me of high school. One guy in our friendship was super sharp super brilliant guy even then, Jamaican brother lol and I remember he never recieved a grade below A. He was a stern guy & he ended up going to Harvard then Cambridge so he was on the right track.

Anyway I remember one day when Facebook was new, he never said much but one day his status was “How are you going to be successful, run all these companies if you can’t even get to class on time”. This was a time when posting motivational quotes and memes was huge 😭

I think everybody’s feelings were hurt. But it reminds me of this verse above. Stern like King Solomon, Wise as a Serpent and Gentle as a Dove. Of course everybody’s goals and dreams are different but that Status has stuck with me for life🥹

[tordenvejr]

art will save you, being unreasonably passionate about something niche will save you, letting past sources of joy show you the way back to yourself will save you, earnestness over composure will save you, the natural world will save you, caring for something bigger than yourself will save you, daring to be seen will save you, kindness not as a whim but a principle will save you, appreciation as a practice will save you, daring to try something new will save you, grounding will save you, love will save you, one good nights sleep will save you

[hersanctuary]

between heaven and hell I give myself the world.

[p96al]

[hersanctuary]

i‘m also getting myself a vespa before next summer btw.

[hersanctuary]

in this era my social media rotation will be, linkedin, tumblr, pinterest.

[hersanctuary]

Broke up with my first ever boyfriend. My eyes are wide open and I feel like I have officially entered womanhood.

[111wishesss]

Woman to woman, I tell you this because I care about you:

• Get your degree, get your bag and be your own man. Be independent.

• Don't get married or move in with someone until your brain is fully developed (age 25)

• Be obsessed with improving yourself every single day. You can create your own dream life.

• Don't get pregnant unless you're emotionally, physically and financially ready.

• Be surrounded by people that make you wiser, happier and prettier.

• You are still young in your 20's, 30's, 40's and more.

• A relationship is partnership: Make sure he helps you too

• Always take care of your appearance

[cupidsquilll]

[in-a-mellow-tone]

adding these two examples, as well

[gums]

i highly recommend for women and girls to be intellectually curious and difficult to shame

[richarlotte-deactivated20250911]

[elletheroyal]

Hi Elle,

I love your blog and am so thankful for all the information you share! I'm in my third year in college, I take care of myself very well. But I really would like to start dating, gaining some experience, and putting myself in places to meet suitable men in college.

How would you create a dating strategy for the girls who are very new to dating? What to expect from men, timeframes, red/green flags. I know I still have alot of life to live and learn about, but I don't to wait forever to experience dating/ being in a relationship.

Thank you so much!

Hey Anon! Get comfy because this is going to be a lengthy one :) :

Start with your hunting grounds. You’ll meet the best men where there’s structure and shared interests: professional clubs (investment, pre-law, engineering, debate), faith or service orgs, honors societies, campus lectures, alumni mixers, intramurals, and ticketed events like theater or a guest speaker. Go where men have to show up on time and speak in full sentences. Off-campus, try a nice lounge near the business/law schools, a ticketed comedy night, a bookstore author talk, or a board-game café. Consistency matters—frequent the same two or three spots weekly so you become a familiar face. Use warm, simple openers: “Hey, aren’t you in Dr. Patel’s class?” or “Have you been to this place before—what do you recommend?”

Once a guy asks you out, the planning tells you almost everything. Green flags: he names a specific day, time, and plan; offers options that work with your schedule; books a rez or buys tickets; confirms the day of without prompting; and keeps the plan public and convenient for you. Red flags: “let’s hang” with no details, last-minute 11 p.m. invites, pushing you to go to his place, expecting you to organize, or going hot-cold during the week. If he can’t plan a first date, he won’t magically become intentional later.

For the first date, skip coffee and strolls—those feel like interviews or errands. Choose something intentional but low-pressure with a natural time cap: an early dinner (60–90 minutes max), dessert and mocktails/cocktails at a sit-down spot, a museum or gallery opening with tickets followed by dessert, mini-golf or bowling with a drink, or a campus performance with seats reserved and a quick bite after. Public place, clear start/end, and you go home afterward. Dress like the best version of you—think mini dress or nice jeans with a pretty top and flats/kitten heels—and arrive five minutes late.

During the date, watch for basics that predict everything: he’s on time, he keeps his phone away, he asks you questions and remembers your answers, he’s kind to staff, he doesn’t overshare ex drama or fish for physical escalation, and he respects boundaries. You should feel safe, relaxed, and a little excited. If your body is whispering “tense,” listen. Keep conversation light-substantial: family vibe, what your weeks look like, goals, travel wish lists, books/podcasts, how you spend Sundays. Avoid trauma dumps and resume recitals.

After the date, gracious beats gamey. If he planned and paid, a short thank-you text that night or the next morning is feminine and classy: “Thank you for dinner—I had fun. Get home safe!” Then let him take the lead on the next plan. If he’s serious, he’ll reach out within 24 hours and put a second date on the calendar; momentum matters early. If you don’t hear from him by day two, that’s your answer—wish him well in your head and move on.

Second and third dates should build substance without sacrificing safety or standards. Think tickets and seats (comedy show, jazz night, campus play) with a bite before or after; a board-game café; a bookstore date where you each pick the other a book and then dessert; or a ramen/tapas spot with a short walk to the car—not laps around the neighborhood. Keep dates to 1–2 hours, end on a high note, and go home separately. Physical pace is yours to set. Kissing is fine if you want; anything more waits until you feel genuine trust and you’ve had the exclusivity conversation.

While you’re getting to know him, keep your roster open until someone earns exclusivity. Aim for one to three dates per week per person; no pen-pal texting—messages are for planning, not paragraphs. A quick mid-week call is higher quality than constant chatter. By 4–6 dates (or ~6–8 weeks), you’ll know if it’s progressing. If he’s consistent, protective of your time, and future-oriented (“Let’s get tickets next Friday”), you can discuss exclusivity. If he’s sporadic, ambiguous, or heavily physical without planning real dates, he’s told you who he is.

Finally, keep your life full: classes, gym, friends, sleep, goals. You’re not auditioning to be someone’s girlfriend; you’re evaluating whether this man fits the life you’re already proud of. The right guy makes it easy—clear plans, kind behavior, steady effort—and you’ll never need a detective to figure out if he’s into you.

I think that’s it. Let me know how it goes lovely girl 🤍

[boobieteriat]

[5555ilenthill]