[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[nihilnovisubsole]

me explaining goncharov to my mother: so tumblr made up this scorsese crime film and they're arguing about its themes and-

my mother, completely deadpan: well are they reviewing the theatrical release or director's cut.

me:

my mother: what does frances ford coppola think of it

[dancinbutterfly]

Your mother is the only one who understands me

[cpericardium]

parried three bait posts in a row

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[defconprime]

[retroactivebakeries]

#average miles subplot

[soaphoe]

this tweet is absolutely taking me out

#UseYourButt

[thefreakmeister]

can my job be star trek. im great at star trek

[hungwy]

You discover in the sand a curious collection of leathery white spheres--a damn daniel egg clutch, freshly laid

[cryptotheism]

>incubate

[dogpuppy]

[marlodramatic]

dan and phil, having a normal quiet day:

me, chainsmoking even though i don't smoke, and shaking like a startled chihuahua: it does get better

[staff]

we fucked up

[revivivivify]

[callietegoul]

[girldan-pip]

the pheal must be so embarrassed of how dumb pheir dads are. just look at phem. pure pain and embarrassment in pheir eyes

[thetiniesthorse]

hey i have heard that US daylight savings started? will this effect phodcast upload time?

[dogpuppy]

[crowcrow]

Coming to America (1988)

Directed by John Landis