scar tissue (tw- SA)
When did my body no longer belong to me?
Was it the first time? the second?
I think I lost count after the sixth
You found so much joy in tearing me up and spitting me out
picking my bones out from between your teeth
watching me run to the bathroom so I can cry in peace
I would try stifle my sobs as i wiped away the blood
wondering why I feel like this
because it couldn't be rape
rape is dark alleys and spiked drinks
a stranger who follows you and breaks into your home
but I had invited you inside
it couldn't be rape
you said you loved me
it couldn't be rape
you were my boyfriend
it couldn't be rape
you told me this was what I was meant to do
it took me almost a full year to realise what you did to me
I suddenly hit me like a tonne of bricks
Screaming for each time I had to stay silent
Trying to replace enough of my skin with scar tissue
So there was nothing left of me you touched
Maybe if I hurt myself more than you hurt me
I would finally belong to myself
- A.W
