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"You Are My Peace" featuring Nate Moore written by Tony Brown, Jonathan Jay, Benji and Jenna Cowart from Housefires fourth live album, "We Say Yes." SUBSCRIB...

good jams.

His every waking moment was like a secret love letter He was writing to His Father. Maybe that’s why we don’t get to know about what Jesus was like in His teens and twenties - it’s none of our business. Those quiet years were a holy beauty designed and lived to please the heart of God, period. And it worked. As Jesus came up out of the water, the Father said, “Look at my boy! I love Him. He’s doing it! He’s pleasing my heart with every step! I love to watch Him live.

Lee Younger

For the first time, I have fallen in love with the bright green of grass. The violence of winter has taught me a new respect for the earth, and how the little, tender buds of spring

are more of a miracle than I thought. The feel of wind on your face that makes you laugh and come alive is so much sweeter after it has made you cringe for a winter.

North Dakota, you are a wild one. You broke me down Only to woo me back again.

Weakness isn't an enemy. There's a strength that only comes from leaning.

Amanda Cook

heyheynow

I was a puppet, a soldier marching through life, not even seeing my strings most of the time. The Puppeteer did not want me to be aware of him- he fooled me into thinking I was free, and sometimes I believed him. I marched and tried my hardest, but so often I did what I did not want to do. Any outsider with the full picture could’ve seen how I was very far from free, yet I still tried to put on a show.

I dedicated my dances to lovers who never responded; like petals of a flower flying away in a hurricane, I was fading fast. I knew I was meant to dance for the King, and I tried, but it was never really beautiful. I ended up tangled and bruised, the invisible yet ever-tangible strings holding me back. If only I could twirl and run and spin high, maybe the King would love my dance…

So I beat myself and struggled and writhed against the Puppeteer, trying to make myself alive, but his grip was tight and the strings were strong. The fight left my skin sliced open and my energy spent. I thought it was finished, he had overcome. I was too ashamed of my self-inflicted bloodiness to look the King in the eye,

yet somehow I thought I imagined kindness coming from His gaze. Though too good to be true, I glanced with a speck of hope at His glorious face and saw tears rolling down. I saw his hand moving toward me and flinched from fear, yet I felt my heart thump for the very first time. The King took hold of every string connecting me to the Puppeteer- there were more than I had been aware of- and in a swift motion, he utterly severed them with his might, leaving me unbound and speechless. It was finished.

I was dead somehow I knew, but for the first time I was alive inside. In response, I wept great tears of what you’d call JOY, and I danced f r e e l y for my King with the fresh life I’d been given, to the sound of his very own wild music- because I wanted to.

-Inspired by Paul’s letter to the Romans, & real experience

heyheynow

reposting my own post because it brought tears to my eyes. this is my reality- i am free free free free free free.

and it is available to all.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new. I, like an usurp'd town to another due, Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end; Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue. Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov'd fain, But am betroth'd unto your enemy; Divorce me, untie or break that knot again, Take me to you, imprison me, for I, Except you enthrall me, never shall be free, Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

-John Donne

He has won me

"I have failed him" I planned to write But He wouldn't let this be The title of the poem. Because his agony has fairly won for me, Yes- even me. I am the one upon whom He has set the delight of his heart And there is no plan B. So I come again And lay my shame out Fully for his eyes to see. He embraces me And my aching desires remember They always cried out for him. I say to my Lover, "I'm afraid I'll do it again." He replies with a smile, "I'm not." The rest of the poem You can read in my life As he and I are determined- It will be proof of its title.

gloryinhisfeet

deep to deep

Sometimes I become aware of a deep sadness inside of me. Its a deep deep ache. Its a thing inside of me that is always screaming, always reaching, always crying out in a way that no words could ever express. Its an inexpressible expression of this voice inside that I only know how to refer to as the deep sadness. I used to attribute it to singleness. Or to life circumstances that kept me from establishing stability in my dynamic day-to-day. Or to ambiguous periods of waiting for ambiguous promises that dont make sense [ yet ].

Ive come up with a million sources for this aching. And a million solutions. When I have a home… When I have a stable income and I can give all I want and save and not worry… When I have a partner to do this life thing with… When I am fully doing what I was called to do… What I am in the dirt again… When I have figured out how to do this family thing… When my brother and my sister… When my mom and my dad and I…. When I finally have… When I finally do… When I finally become…

Sometimes the ache is quieted. Sometimes I think its gone completely…that I have finally filled it. But then the screams rise up again, and I know that its not filled….that its not done…that its still there…

Last weekend I was on my hands and knees, getting my cardio for the weekend by scrubbing the heck out of tile floors that I picked out at Lowes. I was taking great care to pick out every last piece of mud from the white grout. By the end I had the strangest concoction of dirt and dust and bleach and water all over. As I was finishing up, I leaned back against the almond cabinets that I also picked out, and the screams began to surface with a vengeance. Tears filled my eyes and my insides felt like they were being violently torn in two from the tension.

In those moments of screaming tension I think crazy things. I wanna burn this house down and go be homeless. I wanna give away every dollar I have and sell every belonging RIGHT NOW. I wanna just GO. I need to just go. What the heck are we even doing in the life? What are we even going after? I feel, if I don’t escape all of these confines quickly, that Im going to forget what Im actually alive for. I become SO AWARE of how short this life is, and of how LITTLE everything that I think matters, actually matters.

I feel absolutely crazy in these moments. And I usually let it take me over for just a minute…I let a few tears out…I let one scream out just for God to hear…and then I force myself to keep going. I force myself not to listen. I force myself to take another step and wait until the next time the screams make it to the surface.

I used to think that these moments were simply the result of un-met desires within me. And I think they are. But I am starting to think that the desires are much more eternal than I realized. And Im starting to realize that they’re only going to get louder. As I let out the ache last weekend I began to realize in a deeper way that these screams…this deep ache…its got nothing to do with this life. I can have every desire known to man filled. I can have every prayer answered and every desire fulfilled beyond what I could ask or imagine…and these moments of deep yearning won’t change. Sitting on that tile floor covered in dirt and bleach I heard God whisper to the deep inside, “Jessica what you crave is me. It can only be me.” And for the first time ever…in nine years of knowing Him…that sentence had real meaning to it. Not sunday school meaning. Not correct theological explanation meaning. Real-living-and-active meaning.

I was sitting on the floor in a house that I got to help build and create. I am living in a town that is unlike any other town on the planet and with every day it seems more and more likely that it is going to become home for me. I am working with what I would consider to be one of the best staffs in existence. I am allowed to go to work every day and literally create and build out of everything that God has built and created in me. And then I get to watch him replicate it over and over again. I watch the impossible happen every day right in front of my face. I experience the impossible happen every moment that I live the life I am living. I get to encounter the living God do living things on a DAILY BASIS.

And yet I ache.

DEEPLY.

Because heres the thing: I was made to live this life that Im living. I was absolutely created to live this life I am living. But eternity is within me. An ache to be united with Him is within me. A hidden knowledge of how things were meant to be lives inside of me - and with every moment we move more towards eternity the ache GROWS. Creation GROANS with eager expectation for the revealing of the sons of God.

18-21 That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

22-25 All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

^ This uncovers the screams within me in a way that sometimes scares me, but also lets me know that this is real.

Im GROANING for the glory that is to be revealed. Im GROANING with creation because the Spirit inside me KNOWS, and the daughter inside of me ACHES for what is true. Im GROANING because the world around me CRAVES the taste that I have tasted and Im part of their access to it. The SPIRIT WITHIN ME IS GROANING because the longing of the Father for His creation and the longing of creation for its Creator has yet to be fulfilled … and WE…WE ARE LIVING PROOF THAT ITS GONNA HAPPEN. We are the living, breathing impossibilities of this age. We are are made for the tension. We are the screams, we are in the screams, and we are His response to the screams. We are His. And its never been more important for us to be His. And I…I have so much farther to go.

The groans are getting louder in me. The screams are deafening they are so loud. Because its becoming time. for deeper surrender. for truer sacrifice. for standing up. for speaking up. for showing up. for the beginning of the revealing of the sons. for the beginning of the taste of the glory that is to come. for being the ones that respond to the cries of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair. for being the ones standing in the streets when no one else will. for the truth to beat the facts and for the impossible to bow down.

The world around me is screaming so Im screaming and He is screaming. And nothing can stop these screams that reveal the love that only makes it louder.

These groans are never gonna stop, till Kingdom come. And knowing that….helps me alot.

BELIEVE THE BEST ABOUT ME, dang it. I need you to believe that I'm actually good. Glorify me in your thoughts. Build me up, you can't get high enough. Build up your God in your heart and mind as the kindest, fiercest, most loyal and thoughtful, gentlest and bravest- and I promise I will still blow you away.

I banked it all

Back when I had feelings, Elation that I thought would take my heart All the way. But as it seems my feelings will not Carry me And the child in me is afraid I don't have what it takes To love you in the depths of pain. My heart and my whole self scream with joy, "NO MATTER THE COST!" Then, a quick fade into despair at the thought of heaviness. Forgive forgive and LET ME AT IT AGAIN For I am determined to love you With a strength that must overcome To give it all to delight you The way you gave it all to awaken me. I might blow it a few more times But, my dear, I will love you with Everything And die trying.

longing

I'm so face to face with that great paradox- I will absolutely never be satisfied to my core with this world. Yet I have an invitation from the King of Heaven Himself to pull his Home into mine, and though I'll never reach 100% till I'm with him, who says I can't reach 99? Some say we must wait for the full redemption. Some say the finished work of the cross and all its benefits are applicable now if we would press in to it. I say it must be both. I ache so deeply it hurts for that Home and total bliss of intimacy I was made for. Sometimes I give in to despair because the ache is so vast. And sometimes I'm so aware of Heaven here that I can't imagine there ever being more and joy erupts in beautiful expression from the deep places in me. Oh, that I would live well in this tension of truths, and grow in love and hope and longing.

catherinepapeillustration

Bumblebees

jenniecatherine

Ready for these busy bees to help our garden grow.

Keep on keeping lil guys.

heyheynow

Luv them

The moment the call Wakes you from your sleep And you think Just a minute longer here A minute, or two Still Quiet Slowly Drifting back.. Until you remember OH!! The journey that awaits you! The heart you've spent dreaming of The adventure that will be recounted for ages to come Is today, and you Awaken.

unkaglen

Never let your circumstances tell you who you are. By that measure Jesus was a middle eastern carpenter who was eliminated outright after three years of public speaking, traveling no further than his feet could carry him, and with a following of mostly fishermen and prostitutes.

Unka Glen (unkaglen.tumblr.com)

abbygalloway

heyheynow

i like this.

gloryinhisfeet

Don't stop now

“Pioneering takes courage, ingenuity and a sense of adventure. With a pioneer spirit must come willingness to fail and falter, but with an unwavering belief in the long-term future vision. Pioneering doesn’t come without opposition, but the wide-open, spacious life we are seeking will undoubtedly require us to take some risks, step out of what is known, and count the cost of present comfort versus future reward.” - Hillsong United

ugawesleyleadgrow

Hope in the Waiting

“A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” - Proverbs 13:12

When it comes to marriage, a lot of people are heart sick.

Why? Proverbs tell us it’s because their “hope” has been deferred, or put off until a later time. They want to be married and their just not. But not only are they not married, some don’t even see the potential for it. It seems like such a distant reality, if it will ever be a reality at all.

But does it have to be that way? Does waiting for marriage have to make our hearts sick?

There is a difference between a “hope” as something we desire and hope from God. The second has much less to do with our desires and much more to do with a good gift provided by a good Father. It is something given to us as an assurance of God’s goodness and faithfulness. With it comes peace, joy, and a way of experiencing life that is satisfying because it is rooted in Jesus, not our status, situation, or circumstance.

When it comes to marriage, God wants to use the waiting to develop an ability for us to have Hope, even while the things they hope for have yet to be fulfilled. When you have His hope, you’re capable of exchanging your heart ache for joy and peace in the knowledge of His goodness and faithfulness to you.

So, how do you get this hope? That’s the best part! Your good Father gives it to you. This doesn’t mean you stop wanting what you want or you have to lay it down and tell God it doesn’t matter to you anymore. All you have to do is be open to letting His hope impact you more than not having what you hope for. You can’t muster up that kind of thing for yourself, you have to ask for it and He’ll fill you with it!

Here’s a thought that I think is filled with a lot of hope: Every day you spend not married is a day closer to the day you will be and a day to prepare for when you are.

Every time you wake up in the morning and go to sleep that night without being married, you are that much closer to the day you’ll be married. And you can’t deny that because it’s definitional. You’re getting closer!

The real question is, what are you doing with that time? Are you letting it pass by? Are you wasting it?

Each day you spend not married isn’t just a timer counting down the hours until your wedding day, it’s time to become the type of person you want to be. You might need a little more time before you’re ready to get married. Now I don’t mean ready in the sense of you wanting it. I mean ready in the sense of being prepared for that kind of intimacy, commitment, and selflessness necessary to make a marriage work. It is also time for your spouse to become the person you want them to be. Time for them to grow and mature so they are prepared for the kind of intimacy, commitment, and selflessness necessary to make a marriage work.

Unless you’re already married or are getting married tomorrow, you’ll spend the day without having the thing you desire. But, if you have Hope from God, it won’t make your heart sick. And, if you spend the day growing more and more into the person God wants you to be, you’ll be a day closer and a day more prepared for your marriage. That way, when your longing is fulfilled, your marriage will actually be a tree of life for you.

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